Only Ever Us

by J. H. Croix

  “Excellent, excellent.” Her mother clasped her hands together in front of her chest, squeezing them together tightly.

  “It was great to see you. We're going to go, Mom,” Mae piped up.

  Her dad caught my eyes. “Good to meet you.”

  “Yes, great to meet you both,” I replied.

  After that, Mae practically dragged me out. “I’m so sorry,” she said hurriedly once we were outside. “My mom is enthusiastic, and she really wants me to date.”

  An icy gust of wind blew Mae’s hair into a swirl. I slipped my hand through her elbow, and we hurried to my SUV. I’d left it running while we were in the café, so it was plenty warm. “It was nice to meet your parents, and you don’t need to apologize,” I said once we were inside.

  “I know, but they kind of put you on the spot, so I’m sorry about that.”

  I reached over and snagged her hand in mine. “Hey, that's okay. I'd love to have dinner with you and your parents.”

  She eyed me dubiously.

  “You don't get it, do you?”

  “Get what?” she asked.

  “I was pretty devastated when you stopped talking to me. I get it now. I totally get it. But I missed you. You were one of my best friends, and I thought it might be a lot more. Then it wasn't. So being here in Alaska and finally reconnecting with you? Well, I want to do everything with you. I want to meet your parents. I want to have dinner. I want to go grocery shopping. I want to hear you come home from work and be tired. I want to argue about who's going to clean the toilet. I want to persuade your cranky cat, who doesn't seem to like either one of us, to love me.”

  Mae stared at me, and her mouth dropped open. She started blinking rapidly just before tears spilled down her cheeks.

  “Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I leaned across the console, wrapping an arm around her. “Don't cry. Or maybe cry. Whatever. I don't want to tell you what to feel.”

  I was a little dismayed because I didn't know what to do with a crying Mae. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you what happened,” she murmured into my chest.

  My heart gave an achy thump. “You didn't have to tell me then or now.”

  She lifted her head, and I nudged her chin up with my knuckles. “Yeah, but it sucks. I hate, I fucking hate, what happened.”

  “I do too. If I could trade it and have it be something I did, I would, by the way. But I get it. Let's just focus on right now. We can’t change the past.”

  She nodded jerkily, and I brushed her tears away with my thumb. I reached into my glove compartment, hoping there would be tissues there. “Fuck, I don’t have any tissues,” I muttered.

  Mae giggled between sniffles. “You're not a tissue guy, Rowan. I have some in my purse.”

  She reached down and snagged her purse off the floor, tugging some tissues out and blowing her nose.

  “I need to say something.”

  Her eyes whipped up to mine.

  I managed to speak over the rush of blood in my ears with every beat of my heart. “I love you. I was in love with you then, but I didn’t understand it until it was too late.”

  Her palm flew to her chest, and she took several shuddering breaths. “I loved you too, and I still do. I don't think I ever stopped.” She let out a deep sigh before her forehead fell to the curve of my neck. “We lost a lot of time.” I felt the motion of her lips on my collarbone.

  “We can’t change the past, Mae. Maybe this time, we'll get it right. We were pretty young back then. We could have totally fucked it up.”

  She lifted her head. “I don't think so. We were really close.”

  My heart was still drumming fast, and joy was rushing with every beat. “I know. That's why I was afraid to tell you I totally had it bad for you.” She smiled. “I had it so bad for you. Still do, by the way, even when the timing isn't right.”

  “What do you mean? We got the timing right this time.”

  “I mean, this is kind of a heavy conversation, and my body isn’t getting the memo.” I placed her hand over my swollen and aching arousal.

  Her eyes went wide. “Oh,” she breathed. “Well, we’d better hurry home. Hurry.” She elbowed me in the side.

  “Don't worry, it's not going anywhere. We're going back to your house, and you’re going to spike this hot chocolate because I want to enjoy that first.”

  Mae cast me a sly grin, her palm stroking over my arousal. “We can always reheat it.”

  I meant what I said back when we were leaving Firehouse Café, but Mae had other ideas, and she was persuasive. As soon as we were in her house, her cat eyed both of us for a moment from the back of the living room couch before walking out slowly, tail held high and twitching.

  Mae crossed to the kitchen and set our hot chocolates on the counter after she kicked off her boots and hung up her jacket. I was following her to the kitchen when she met me halfway and pressed her palm on my chest.

  “I meant what I said.”

  “What?” I countered, a little slow to catch up.

  She dragged her palm over my still hard cock. Because she was Mae, and I was me, and it was near impossible to turn the dial down on my lust. It had been bottled up for too long. Not to say that I'd been chaste, but I hadn't been serious with anyone. Every time I considered something other than casual, Mae was always in the back of my mind while I wondered what had happened with us.

  She was the spark. Just her. I sucked my breath in when she bit her lip and looked up at me. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold.

  “I meant what I said too,” I protested, trying to rally my discipline. It was a weak argument.

  Mae grinned. “Your mouth says one thing, but your body says another.”

  In a hot second, she was unbuttoning my jeans. Her cool palm slid into my boxers, the shock of her touch making my cock leap under it.

  “Fuck, Mae,” I gasped.

  She giggled, murmuring, “Here, let me warm you up.”

  Her warm mouth closed over the tip of my cock, and her tongue swirled around it while she shoved my jeans down around my hips. Then there she was, kneeling in front of me and angling her head to glance up. The sly, dark gleam in her eyes sent desire zipping through me hot and fast. It was always there on low simmer around her. She turned the flame up on high and poured gasoline on it.

  She said something—hell if I knew what—and I felt the vibration of it around my cock when she took me in her mouth. This time when her palm gripped me, it was warm, and she teased me until my control was frayed. I tried to regain it, but she was having none of it.

  “Come on, Rowan,” she whispered.

  “Mae!” I choked out.

  She paused and leaned back, releasing my cock with a little pop. “Just give me this,” she said, seeming to enjoy having me at her mercy.

  It wasn't like I could refuse anything Mae wanted. So, when she dragged her tongue slowly along the underside of my cock before taking me in her mouth again, my release came in a rush. As I clung to her hair, she drank me down. I was still trembling from the force of my climax when she sat back on her heels, looking up with a satisfied grin.

  I tugged her to her feet, and we stumbled across the room, one kiss blurring into the next. I meant to take it slow, but that was a major challenge with her. It didn't take much for me to be ready all over again.

  Before I knew it, I was sliding her jeans down over her hips, and her round bottom was tempting me with a glimpse of pink glistening at the apex of her thighs. I teased my fingers there, finding her slick and hot.

  “Fuck, Mae,” I choked out.

  “Well, you could just do that.” She glanced over her shoulder.

  This version of Mae with her guard down, teasing and saucy, was so much more than I expected. My heart kicked hard in my chest. I leaned over, pressing a kiss to that sweet spot just below her ear, savoring how she shivered and let out a little whimper when I sank two fingers inside her.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Mae


  This Rowan was a man I hadn't known before. Being with him like this, having him at my mercy moments ago gave me a sense of power I hadn't known I even wanted.

  For all these years, I'd worried I'd never be able to relax. But with Rowan, I felt completely safe. Maybe time had passed, and maybe we’d lost something. In a way, though, we’d gained so much more. I knew him, and he was true and solid.

  One of his palms slid over my bottom, giving me a squeeze. The calloused surface sent sparks scattering over my skin and goose bumps prickling everywhere. I felt fluid, melting like honey in the sun under his touch.

  We were still half-dressed. We'd gotten my shirt off, but my bra was on, hanging loose, and he still had his shirt on. He said something—I didn't even know what—before he growled my name in that sexy voice. I wanted him inside me. Now.

  “Rowan, hurry,” I ordered, arching and pressing back into his touch.

  His fingers disappeared from teasing me, and I felt the thick press of his cock at my entrance. He held still, and I arched back again, letting out a low moan at the thick slide as he filled me and seated himself deeply.

  I was already teetering on the edge of my release, spun so tight inside I felt reckless and restless, and I needed everything to spin loose. I sensed he was still trying to be gentle, but that's not what I wanted. I met his thrusts roughly, and he followed my lead with one hand gripping my hip tightly. I loved the feel of it, how his fingers pressed into the give of my skin. Then he drew back, sinking in slowly a few times until my own restless motion kicked up the pace, and he was pounding into me, saying, “Mae, tell me if it's too much.”

  “It's not. Stop worrying,” I gasped.

  I never thought I'd be the one telling someone to stop worrying, but that was the gift Rowan gave me. I could forget myself. I could let go with him. I felt it the second he stopped worrying. His motions became rougher, his grip tighter on my hip, and his voice hoarser.

  With every sound, every motion, every sensation, my need coiled tighter and tighter until he murmured something. One hand slid around my waist, and his fingers were magic. He knew just how to touch me, not that it took much. I felt like a bomb about to go off, and the second he exerted the slightest pressure over my slippery and swollen clit, I detonated. Pleasure exploded as I shuddered roughly and cried out. He followed me over the edge only seconds later.

  I loved that I could feel his release filling me. “Mae!” he gasped in a ragged shout.

  My hands were gripping the back of the couch tightly with one of my knees pressing into the cushions. I was shaking all over from the force of my release. He curled around me, his grip loosening on my hip and his touch turning soothing as his hand smoothed up my spine. I felt hot kisses dropping in a crooked line down to my waist. The intimacy of this moment was intense and almost overwhelming.

  While the other night we’d been facing each other, something about this felt deeper. I’d let my control go and handed it to him. He trusted that I wanted him to have it. My heart felt raw and exposed, and all of this was happening so very fast.

  A few moments later, we disentangled. When I turned and met his eyes for a flash, I felt bashful and so exposed it almost hurt. But I saw the same thing in his eyes, and it was okay. Because this was Rowan, and he was my friend first. And I knew him.

  There were those friends that you had—usually not very many—when it was just easy, right from the very beginning. That was what I had with Rowan. Now, we had all of this. It felt like a glittering gift handed to me. I felt as if a curtain had been pulled back on a universe I hadn't even known existed, but it was fragile to the touch.

  He helped me pull my clothes back together. I pulled his zipper up and buttoned his jeans. After that, I spiked our hot chocolate with vanilla vodka, and we watched Schitt’s Creek together. He stayed over again, and I discovered I wasn't even that worried about him having dinner with my parents. It would be fine. They could finally be happy that I was dating someone. We’d almost skipped past that with Rowan telling me he loved me and me owning my own feelings.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Rowan

  Thanksgiving was less than a week away, and I was feeling torn because I didn't want to leave right now. Not with Mae and I feeling so good. But I had two more phone calls from my parents and another one from my sister, who was super pissed off at them. I knew I needed to go to Stolen Hearts Valley.

  I was at Mae’s house every night. I was helping her tear out that shag carpet, and we were going to redo the whole interior. I only wanted to spend time with Mae, so it was perfect. One night we were watching TV, and I told her, “I don't want to go to my parents’ for Thanksgiving.”

  She looked over. “To North Carolina?”

  I nodded quickly. “It's either that or Christmas, and my sister's having some problems.”

  “Oh, no. What's wrong?” Her brow creased with worry.

  “I think she's dating an asshole, and he sounds controlling. My parents are stressing big time. I'd like to see if I can help.”

  In the back of my thoughts was the chance to do a little reconnaissance and see if I could track down Chet. I had resisted the urge to do anything about it yet because I knew Mae might not want me to. It was killing me to just let him get away with fucking raping her.

  “Well, then you should go,” she said firmly.

  “I don't want to leave you,” I said honestly.

  Her smile was warm. “I don't want you to go, but I'm not the kind of girlfriend who needs you with me all the time. I am the kind of girlfriend who thinks family matters. I know your family's important to you, so you should go. We’ll have Christmas together.”

  Not that I needed more reasons, but this was why Mae was so perfect. “All right, I'll go. I'm probably going to call you two or three times a day.”

  “Okay, you can. We can cook our own Thanksgiving dinner when you get back.”

  Mae took me to the airport, giving me a kiss before I went through security.

  She peered up at me. “I'll see you when you get back.”

  Fuck, I didn't want to leave. I held her, maybe too long, lingering until my flight was called the second time. “You have to go,” she said with a laugh as she pushed me away.

  As soon as I got to North Carolina the following morning, I was glad I was there. I missed Mae like crazy, but my sister hadn’t come home the night before and wasn't answering her cell phone. My parents were beyond worried.

  “All right, tell me who the hell this guy is. You gave me his name, but tell me everything you know,” I said to my parents as we sat at the kitchen table.

  My mother's eyes were red and puffy while my father had a stoic but really stressed look on his face.

  “Where is she?” I asked, glancing between them.

  My mother shook her head slowly. “We don't know.”

  “Okay, where does he live?” I looked toward my father for this one because he had friends on the local police force.

  “His parents are new to the area. I do know where they live. I've spoken to the police.”

  “I'm going to go over there,” I said once my father recited the address so I could put it in my maps.

  “Her boyfriend’s eighteen,” my mother interjected.

  “So what? That just means more consequences for him.”

  I stood, and my father followed me out to the front room. “Son,” he began.

  “You don't need to worry, Dad. I’ll find Colbie. She'll be home for Thanksgiving, and we're gonna figure out what the fuck is going on with this guy,” I said flatly.

  “You know the drill, but be careful. The police have been called more than once to help de-escalate these assholes. His parents get into it plenty.”

  I ignored the bolt of anger.

  “I'm just having a hard time believing your sister ended up with a guy like this,” he added.

  “Dad, you know it never starts that way. Assholes like that tend to be charming at first. She's young. I'll be back.”
>
  I left, calling my cousin Lucas on the way. He picked up on the first ring. “Hey, man, are you here for Thanksgiving?”

  “Of course.”

  “I hear we're coming over to your place,” Lucas replied with a chuckle.

  “That's what I hear. Hey, man, I need to pick your brain for a second.”

  “What’s up?”

  “So, my sister's dating a jerk,” I began.

  “I've heard,” Lucas interjected.

  “Oh, you have?”

  “Yeah, your dad hasn't spoken to me about it, but rumors travel. Stolen Hearts Valley isn't all that big. You know how it goes. EMTs and the police have dealt with him a few times, and his dad’s a total ass. Like father like son,” my cousin said matter-of-factly.

  “Ah, fuck,” I muttered.

  “You need anything?”

  “Well, I want to go talk to him. Mind coming with me?”

  “Of course not.”

  “You on call?” Lucas was a first responder for a mountain crew, so he’d need to stay put if he was.

  “Nope. I'm home.”

  “Can I swing by and pick you up?”

  “Absolutely. I'll meet you outside. You can see Valentina and the girls at Thanksgiving.”

  Minutes later, I pulled up in front of Lucas’s place just as he was coming out the front door. He was shrugging into his jacket as he jogged down the steps.

  “How's it going?” he asked as soon as he climbed in the car, leaning over to give me a quick side hug.

  “Good to see you, but not thrilled with what's going on with my sister,” I replied.

  “No shit. Fuck, man. I don't even like thinking about Rylie growing up.”

  “I get it. So, tell me where this guy hangs out.”

  “I already did a little looking into him while I was waiting for you to show up.”

  Lucas quickly recited two addresses, starting with his parents’. We rolled by, but there wasn’t a single vehicle there.