Faith Hope and Love

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “You have always been quite the con-woman. I’m glad to see that hasn’t changed.”

  “Yeah. So much has changed and yet so much stays the same.”

  “We’d better go. Cassie’s probably wondering where we are. I only told her we were going to visit Mom, not stopping to feed my con-sister.”

  “She’ll understand,” Renee told him with a grin. “She’s brought me lunch often enough.”

  Still, Quinn didn’t linger. He gathered up their stuff and soon he and Jani were headed for home. As they rounded the corner he spotted a truck in the driveway. His brow furrowed as he stared at it. He didn’t recall Cassie saying she was expecting anyone.

  “Hey! Uncle Blaine’s here!” Jani shouted excitedly from her seat as they pulled up beside the shiny black truck.

  Quinn barely had time to get out of the vehicle before Jani was opening the door and jumping onto the driveway. She took off at full speed for the back door. Quinn followed more slowly, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he wondered if this was the Blaine he thought it was.

  He stepped through the back door to see Jani wrapped in the arms of a tall, lanky blond-haired man. Yep, it was the very same Blaine.

  Blaine had been dating Cassie in the eleventh grade when Quinn had moved to town. It wasn’t long before they were competing for most things in school, including Cassie’s affections. Quinn had been the victor then, but suddenly he wasn’t sure he’d win this go around.

  “Quinn,” Blaine said, reserve in his voice and expression. He moved Jani to one hip and held out his hand. “Glad to see you made it home.”

  Quinn wondered how sincere his statement was. A quick glance at the table revealed a nice cozy set-up with glasses of lemonade and a plate of cookies. It looked like he’d been there for a while already.

  “I’m glad to be home.” Quinn shook his hand, wondering how much Cassie had told him.

  “Blaine is the assistant pastor at our church now,” Cassie told him.

  Quinn arched a brow. “Really?” Just perfect, he thought, a man in the ministry. It was what Cassie needed. What she deserved.

  “Yes, I’ve been helping Reverend Stiles for the past seven years. I know it’s a long ways from what I’d hoped to be back in high school but it’s where the Lord has led me and I’m very happy.”

  “Married?” Quinn couldn’t keep himself from asking.

  Blaine shook his head. “Not yet. I keep praying but so far the Lord hasn’t answered. There is one woman that has piqued my interest but alas, circumstances are keeping us apart.”

  Quinn felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Had Blaine been hoping he’d be declared dead so he could marry Cassie himself? Suddenly he didn’t want to give up his wife. Even if it was the best thing for her, Quinn didn’t want her to find another man.

  “I guess that’s the way it works sometimes,” Quinn said vaguely.

  Blaine bent and put Jani down. “I’d best be on my way. I have one more stop to make on my way home. I’m looking for a certain book.”

  He glanced at Cassie and Quinn felt anger flood him as he witnessed the wink Blaine gave her. Cassie grinned back at him, a mischievous look on her face.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Uncle Blaine,” Jani said, tugging on his hand.

  “That you will, kiddo.” Blaine ruffled Jani’s bangs before bending to give her a kiss. It was obvious they’d spent a lot of time together over the years. Would Jani like it if Uncle Blaine became Daddy Blaine?

  Quinn pushed that thought from his mind. It wasn’t going to happen, he resolved.

  Together they walked outside. Quinn stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching as they said goodbye to Blaine and he pulled his truck out of the driveway. Once he was out of sight, Jani skipped off to the back yard to her swing set.

  Cassie stood for a few moments before turning towards the house.

  “I’ll bet that’s one man who wishes I’d perished in the jungle,” Quinn said the words before he could stop himself.

  Cassie froze, then turned to him, a shocked look on her face. “Why would you ever say that about Blaine? He prayed faithfully with the rest of us for your return.”

  Quinn shrugged; embarrassed that he was acting so juvenile. “Forget I said it. It was just a reaction to the years of competing with him.”

  “You have nothing to compete with Blaine over. He’s a good friend, and I anticipate that continuing even though you’re home. He’d be a good friend for you too.”

  Quinn doubted that but this time kept his mouth shut. “I’m going to mow the lawn. If there’s anything else you want me to do, let me know and I’ll try and get it done.”

  Cassie stared at him for a moment, then nodded. She disappeared into the house, tension in every line of her body. Quinn felt badly for letting his insecurities get the better of him.

  What right did he have to lash out at Blaine? Quinn pulled the mower out of the shed and fired it up. The man had obviously been a great support to Cassie and was someone Jani enjoyed being around. Quinn knew he had no right to be jealous. Cassie had given him an open invitation to reunite their family and he was the one holding out. If he had anyone to blame, it was himself. He knew he couldn’t have Cassie, and yet he didn’t want anyone else to have her either.

  Somehow, someway, he was going to have to work through things so he could have his family back. It hadn’t been worth it until the moment he’d realized exactly how much he had to lose, and how desperate he was to hang onto it.

  *****

  The next afternoon Quinn was out in Renee’s yard helping with her yard work waiting for Cassie and Jani to get back from lunch at the pastor’s home. He was weeding the front flower garden when he heard a vehicle pull into the driveway.

  He glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see the SUV but instead saw Blaine’s truck. Scowling, Quinn got to his feet and turned to watch the man climb out of the vehicle.

  “What do you want, Blaine?” Renee asked with a wariness in her voice that surprised Quinn.

  Forgetting his own reaction to Blaine’s arrival, Quinn turned to look at his sister. She stood stiffly, hose in hand, glaring at the blond man.

  “Now is that any way to greet an old friend?” Blaine asked with an easy smile.

  Renee didn’t reply but moved her hand slightly causing the water from the hose to arc towards Blaine but not quite reach him. Quinn wondered about the animosity between the two and a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. Part of him hoped that Renee did turn the hose on Blaine, but she seemed to be restraining herself.

  “What do you want?” Renee asked again, still toying with the hose. Water arced in different lengths as she moved the hose up and down, never quite getting Blaine but coming close to his spraying his black runners.

  “I know you love my company but I’m actually here to speak to Quinn.” Blaine cast a look in his direction before looking back at Renee. “I wouldn’t presume to hoist my unwanted company on you twice in as many days.”

  “Well, good then. I’ll be inside.” Renee moved the hose away from Blaine and stomped over to the faucet to turn it off.

  It wasn’t until Renee had disappeared that Blaine approached him. He shoved his hands into the back pockets of his faded jeans and stood looking at Quinn. “I’m here because I need to clarify something with you.”

  Quinn felt a tightening in his stomach. Was this where Blaine told him how he really felt about Cassie? He clenched the wooden handle of the small spade he’d been using to weed the garden. “Okay. What’s up?”

  “First of all, I want to let you know that Cassie never has, in the years you’ve been missing, and never will be, more than a friend. A good friend but that’s it. I respect her and yes, I love her but only as a really good friend and sister in the Lord.”

  Surprise then relief flooded Quinn. But then another thought came to him. Blaine might feel this way but how did Cassie feel about Blaine?

  “I appreciate you telling me this.”


  Blaine cocked his head. “I felt it was only fair to let you know. Even if I’d had any other ideas six years ago, which I didn’t, Cassie set me straight right from the beginning. You were her husband and nothing and no one was going to change that. She’s an amazingly strong woman.”

  Quinn nodded. “Even more now than before.”

  “I know you probably don’t want a lecture from me so I’ll make it short,” Blaine said with a grin that quickly faded to seriousness. “Don’t do anything foolish without first thinking it through. Your family has waited a long time for you to come home, don’t throw that away without really trying to see if you can make it work.”

  Quinn felt a surge of anger. He wasn’t sure who it was at. Blaine for interfering, or Cassie for sharing with Blaine.

  He managed to hold his tongue on that subject but couldn’t ignore the other one in his mind. “What is it with you and Renee? I’ve never seen her act like that before.”

  Blaine’s mouth lifted in a lopsided grin. “Do you think I’m wearing her down?”

  “Wearing her down?” Quinn asked, puzzled.

  “I’m patient. One of these days she’s going to come to her senses and realize what she’s missing. Maybe then we’ll be able to go out on our second date.”

  “Your second date?” Quinn felt like a fool repeating everything Blaine said but it was just such a surprise to him.

  “Yeah, our first one didn’t go so well. Renee’s got some fool idea in her head that she’s my second choice because Cassie married you.” Blaine shook his head. “Cassie was my choice in tenth grade. I was a boy then. Renee’s my choice as a man. What I feel for her is completely different from what I felt for Cassie fifteen years ago. One of these days she’s going to realize that.”

  Quinn laughed then. He couldn’t help himself. Blaine was suffering from unrequited love but it wasn’t for Cassie as he’d thought, it was for his stubborn, hardheaded sister. It suddenly explained the joking exchange the day before when Blaine had mentioned going to the bookstore.

  “Well, I’ll see if I can help boost her opinion of you,” Quinn offered.

  “That would be great. We’ve wasted so many years already. We’re not getting any younger, you know.”

  Quinn lifted an eyebrow. “How long ago was your first date?”

  “It was just before you were kidnapped and Cassie came home.”

  “Ahhh. The timing wasn’t so good, I suppose.”

  “Nope. Your getting taken hostage really put a crimp in my plans.”

  Quinn saw the grin on Blaine’s face and knew he was just joking. “Sorry about that. If I had known I would have tried harder to talk my captors into letting me go sooner.”

  Both laughed and Quinn felt at ease with Blaine for the first time.

  “Well, I’d better go. Renee’s probably waiting inside to hear my truck leave. Don’t want to disappoint her.”

  Quinn waved as Blaine pulled out of the driveway and drove off. Within seconds Renee reappeared.

  “He’s gone?” she asked, peering down the road.

  Quinn wondered if there was just a twinge of disappointment in her tone. “Yep, he left. Nice guy, that Blaine.”

  “Humph,” Renee said and swung around to pick up the hose and resume her watering.

  Quinn dropped back down on his haunches and continued to pull the weeds, feeling better than he had in days.

  *****

  Things quickly fell back into their old pattern over the next couple of weeks. Quinn continued to come each morning to take Jani to school and Cassie to work and then he reversed it in the afternoon picking up Jani and then Cassie. He stayed for supper each evening so obviously whatever plans he'd had that one night had not been repeated. Of course he could be meeting whoever it was during the day when she and Jani were away.

  Cassie knew she was driving herself a little crazy speculating but she couldn't seem to help it. Every day she waited for the other shoe to drop. Waited for Quinn to tell her that it was over. Each day it got harder and harder to think about that because Quinn was changing.

  He no longer radiated tension whenever they were together and he joked a lot more with Jani and even with her at times. It was so hard to see the changes, the ones she'd wanted more than anything when he'd first arrived. It was hard to see him becoming closer to the man he'd been and yet still not have the marriage they'd once had.

  "Are you going out for lunch, Cass?" Stef, another nurse in the doctor's office stuck her head around the corner, interrupting her thoughts.

  "I'm going to pop down to the deli to grab something for takeout. What me to pick up something for you? I haven't phoned in the order yet."

  "I'd love a really big dill pickle," Stef said giving her belly a pat. "It seems this guy likes the sour stuff."

  Cassie smiled. "I craved the sour stuff with Jani, too. I'll add your pickle to the list."

  After making the call to place the orders she'd collected, Cassie left the office. She made a quick stop at the bank before crossing the street to the deli. The small deli was an office favorite, but they tried not to indulge too often.

  Familiar scents greeted Cassie as she opened the door and her stomach growled. Maybe she'd have to order a sandwich for herself too instead of just a salad.

  "Hey, Cassie, your order's almost ready," Marie, the plump woman behind the counter, told her.

  "Can you add a roast beef sandwich to it?" Cassie asked, leaning forward to look at the contents of the glass case. "I can't resist."

  "No problem. Give me a couple of minutes to wrap it all up."

  Cassie nodded and turned to see who else was in the deli. Sometimes Renee stopped by if the afternoon clerk arrived early enough. Her gaze skimmed the people sitting at the small tables. Not immediately seeing anyone she recognized, Cassie started to turn around but then something registered in her brain and she turned back.

  There, sitting at a small table in the corner near the front window, was the last person she'd expected to see. Quinn. And seated across from him was a slender blonde wearing a business suit. She leaned close to say something to Quinn and they both laughed. Cassie felt as if a live wire had touched every nerve in her body. The pain was acute and intense. All her speculations crystallized into reality right before her eyes.

  "Cassie? Here you go." Marie's voice broke through the haze of pain to reach Cassie.

  Slowly Cassie turned. She tried to focus on Marie and block out everything else. She couldn't fall apart here. She needed to get out before Quinn spotted her.

  "How much do I owe you?" Cassie asked Marie, surprised at how normal her voice sounded. She paid the amount Marie quoted and picked up the two large sacks and left the deli.

  She didn't want to go back to the office now, but the others were waiting for her to return with the food so she had no choice. Could she possibly get through the afternoon as if nothing had happened? Could she possibly act normal when her whole world had fallen apart yet again? Actually, that moment in the deli had just finished what had started the day Quinn had arrived back.

  "Cassie, are you okay?" Stef asked when she got back to the office. "You look beyond pale."

  "I don't know. Suddenly my stomach feels kind of sick."

  "Do you want to go home? I can handle things here."

  Cassie shook her head. "I'm sure it will pass but now my roast beef sandwich is going to go to waste," she joked weakly.

  "Nothing from that deli ever goes to waste. If you can't eat it I'll gladly take care of it for you." Stef peered into the bags and began to pull stuff out.

  "Help yourself," Cassie told her.

  "Let me know what I owe you!" Stef unwrapped the sandwich and inhaled with great relish.

  "I'll go tell the others that the food's back here."

  Somehow Cassie made it through the rest of the day. Quinn was all smiles when he picked her up making her heart ache even worse, if that was possible. How much pain could a person endure without dying? Cassie wondered.


  "I'm going to cook supper tonight," Quinn announced as he drove them home.

  "Really?" Jani asked. "You've never cooked before."

  "Actually, I'm not really going to cook. I'm going to take you out. How's that sound? We'll even take Aunt Renee."

  "Where are we going?" Jani wanted to know. "McDonalds?"

  Quinn rolled his eyes. "I don't think so."

  "Awww," Jani moaned. "I love McDonalds. I still need more of the toys. They have the small Barbie dolls right now."

  "I doubt you really need any more toys, sweetheart. I was thinking more along the lines of a nice restaurant. I might consider pizza."

  "Yeah, pizza!"

  "Is that okay with you, Cassie?" Quinn glanced her way as they stopped at a red light.

  "That's fine." Cassie had no appetite so it really didn't matter where they went.

  "I told Renee we'd be by around five-thirty to pick her up."

  Cassie wasn't so sure she wanted to spend the evening with Renee. If anyone could see that something was wrong with Cassie it would be Renee. They knew each other so well. Probably the best thing to do was head it off at the pass.

  Once home Cassie went to her room and made a call. "Renee, it's Cassie."

  "Hey, Cass. Where are we going for supper?"

  "I think they settled on pizza."

  "Sounds good to me." Pizza always sounded good to Renee.

  "What's up? Change in the time or something?"

  "No. I just need to talk to you for a minute before we picked you up." Cassie paused. "I've had a bit of a rough day and I'm not really feeling myself. I'd just as soon not discuss it later if possible. I wanted to give you a head's up so you don't ask about it at supper. I just want this to be a nice evening for us all."

  "And discussing the fact that you're not feeling well would spoil that? What happened?"

  "I'd rather not talk about it right now, Renee. I'm sorry but it's something I have to deal with on my own."

  "We've been through everything together, Cassie. There's nothing you have to deal with on your own."

  "This time I do. I'll talk to you about it later. After I'm not feeling quite so badly."

  There was a brief silence on the other end of the line. "Okay, if you insist but just remember I'm here when you want to talk. Don't hold it in."