First and Again

by Jana Richards

  “So he used the salmon even though he knew it could be spoiled.”

  “Yes, and you had no idea because he had the assistant prepare it. He thought you’d put up a fuss and insist on throwing out the fish if you suspected anything was wrong with it.”

  “He thought right.”

  She knew Ben had sometimes cut corners. They’d fought about it several times. He knew she hated shoddy work and poor quality, and wouldn’t dream of using food she suspected might be tainted.

  She couldn’t believe it. He’d blamed her when he’d known all along what had caused the disaster that had sunk their business.

  “Yes, that’s the story. Nobody wants to hire Ben now. The only reason the new owners would even consider him was because he claimed he could bring you in. You still have a stellar reputation in this town as a superb catering chef.”

  “Thank you for telling me all this,” she said. Her head was reeling with the news.

  “If you do move back to San Francisco, let me know. I’d love to see you again.”

  “I’d love to see you too. I’ll keep in touch, whatever happens.”

  By the time she hung up the phone, she was shaking with anger. For two years she’d blamed herself. For two years she’d agonized over what she’d done wrong. And for two years she’d been unable to work because he’d convinced her she was at fault.

  Ben Grant had a lot of questions to answer.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Leslie carefully opened her bedroom door. Daddy’s door was still closed so that meant he was still asleep. Maybe if she was very, very quiet she wouldn’t wake him up.

  She crept down the stairs and into the kitchen, pausing at the back door to put on her boots and coat in the dark. Daddy thought she couldn’t do stuff herself. He was going to be so surprised.

  She opened the back door as quietly as she could, then stepped into the cold. The bitter wind lifted her hair and blew in her ears, reminding her that she’d forgotten her hat. But she couldn’t stop now. She wanted to ride Molly by herself. Bridget said she could. The other day she sneaked downstairs and heard her arguing with Daddy. Bridget said she didn’t need two people to help her ride. If Bridget said she could ride alone it must be true.

  The walk between the house and the barn was kind of scary because it was still dark, but there was a light over the barn door that stayed on all night and she walked toward it. She was able to slide the heavy door open just enough for her and Molly. She’d show Daddy. He was going to be so proud of her.

  Molly’s head was bowed in sleep. Leslie stroked her soft nose.

  “Wake up, pretty girl,” she said. “We’re going for a ride.”

  Leslie knew where Molly’s saddle and blanket were kept. She went into the tack room and turned on the light switch. She was smart. She knew which saddle belonged to her horse. She’d show Daddy she could ride by herself, even if he didn’t think she was smart enough.

  She tried to lift the saddle from its stand but it was too heavy for her. It fell to the floor. She dragged it for a short way but then abandoned the idea. She’d have to ride Molly without the saddle. She grabbed her horse’s blanket and her bit.

  She returned to Molly’s stall. Her pony twisted her head when Leslie tried to put the bit in her mouth. She’d never done it before but she’d watched Daddy and Becky lots of times. Daddy let Becky put the bit in Candy’s mouth all the time but he never let her do it because she was stupid. She climbed on the rails surrounding the stall and flung the blanket over Molly’s back.

  Molly didn’t usually toss her head as if she was mad at her but she was doing it now. She stroked her nose.

  “Shhh, Molly. We’re going to ride now, okay? We’re going to show Daddy.”

  She opened the pony’s stall and then climbed up the rails again, flinging one leg over Molly’s broad back. The pony stomped her feet as she clung to her mane.

  “Don’t worry, Molly. Now we can ride.”

  She held the reins the way Daddy had taught her but Molly didn’t move. She just shook her head and chewed at her bit.

  “Come on, Molly. Let’s go.”

  She dug her heels into the pony’s sides and Molly lurched forward. Leslie grabbed Molly’s mane to right herself. The pony shook her head and Leslie lost her hold. She slid off the pony’s back and landed hard on the cement floor.

  When she tried to stand everything hurt, especially her arm. She started to cry. Daddy was going to be so mad at her. She was stupid, stupid, stupid.

  * * *

  Jack knew something was wrong the minute he opened his bedroom door. Leslie’s door was wide-open and when he went inside to check, she was nowhere in sight. He checked the bathroom. Still no Leslie.

  He hurried down the stairs, expecting to find her at the kitchen table trying to pour herself a bowl of cereal. He always told her to wait for him to do it for her, but sometimes she got impatient for breakfast and tried to get it herself. But she wasn’t in the kitchen.

  His heart began to beat faster. He checked the family room and the living room and dining room, calling her name as he went. He checked the bathroom on the first floor. She wasn’t anywhere in the house.

  Think, damn it, think. Where could she be?

  He looked in the closet and sure enough, her boots and parka were missing. Cold fear settled in his gut. She was outside. Alone. How long had she been out there? He hastily slipped on his jacket and boots and ran outside.

  A sliver of brightness lightened the eastern horizon. He could just make out that the barn door was open a crack. He took off on a run.

  When he got inside the first thing he saw was Molly standing in the middle of the barn, chewing frantically at her bit. Her blanket was lying on the floor of her open stall.

  “Leslie!” he called frantically. “Leslie, where are you?”

  “Here, Daddy,” came the faint reply.

  He scrambled toward her voice, his heart in his throat. He found his little girl in a corner next to some hay bales, tears streaming down her face, her arm bent at an awkward angle.

  He went down on one knee beside her. “Sweetheart, what happened? What are you doing in the barn?”

  “I wanted to show you how I could ride Molly by myself. But now you’re mad at me.”

  “I’m not mad at you.” He touched her arm and she cried out. His daughter’s pain felt like a knife to his heart. “Why did you want to ride by yourself? You know Grandma Jane and I would take you out anytime you want to go.”

  She lifted her chin. “Becky gets to ride by herself. Bridget said I could do lots of things myself if I work hard. She said I could ride by myself. I heard her tell you so.”

  His jaw tightened. Leslie must have heard the argument they’d had about her. Damn Bridget for putting these crazy ideas into her head.

  With an effort he made himself speak calmly. “Sunshine, it looks like you’ve hurt your arm pretty badly. We’re going to have to take you to the doctor. I’m going to bring the truck close to the barn and then I’m going to pick you up and carry you to the truck.” He hated that he was going to hurt her. “You stay right here.”

  As he raced out of the barn, anger swelled inside him. Bridget would never understand what it was like to care for a special needs child. She’d never understand Leslie’s many limitations.

  How could there ever be a future for them?

  * * *

  Bridget let the phone ring until Jack’s answering machine clicked on. It was the third time she’d tried to reach him that morning. She checked her watch. Almost 11:00 a.m. Where could he be?

  She left another message. “Jack, it’s Bridget again. Something’s come up and I really need to talk to you. Call me at the bar the first chance you get. Please, Jack. It’s very important.” She couldn’t stop the desperation she heard in her voice.

  She picked up her coffeepot and began to circulate. She’d been hiding downstairs in the bar ever since she’d called Keith earlier that morning. Though she hated leavin
g Rebecca alone with Ben, not knowing what kind of garbage he was filling her head with, she couldn’t stand to look at him.

  How had she lived with the man for fifteen years? She’d understood that he had faults, many of them, in fact. He was arrogant and ambitious, without the work ethic to back up his lofty dreams. But she’d never realized how devious and downright cruel he could be.

  He hadn’t always been that way. When they first married, Ben had been attentive and loving. But somehow things had changed over the years. As her popularity as a chef increased, he became more and more critical of her appearance and her performance in their bedroom. She guessed that since he couldn’t compete with her in the kitchen, he decided to undermine her confidence everywhere else.

  She wondered now if his affair with Sherry was his first, or just the first she’d known about. The thought filled her with revulsion.

  She brought the coffeepot to the old boys’ table and refilled their waiting cups.

  “You’re looking a little under the weather today, Bridget,” George said, watching her closely.

  She smiled fondly at him. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

  Mavis toyed with her coffee cup. Today she was having coffee with the boys at their table. She looked tired as well.

  “You could try to take a nap in one of the empty motel rooms,” Mavis said.

  “I’ll take a nap when you do.” She knew the likelihood of her mother lying down for a nap in the middle of the day was pretty remote. But she wished Mavis would.

  Tina breezed into the bar carrying a large box. She set the box on a nearby table and pulled off her gloves.

  “Hey, guess what? I got us another gig.”

  She blinked at Tina. “What?”

  “Hello? Earth to Bridget. For our catering company, remember? The school trustees are having a big conference in January and they want us to cater their banquet. You know, I was thinking, we should really come up with a kick-ass name for our company. What do you think of Divine Delights?”

  She stared at Tina. She’d never thought it possible but she’d come to care for her. She was her friend. And now she was going to have to move away and let her down.

  A sob burst out of her mouth. She covered her face with her hand, surprised and embarrassed by her show of emotion.

  “I’m sorry.” She ran into the restaurant and sank into one of the booths near the window. She laid her head on the table and wept.

  A moment later she heard the door open. She lifted her head and tried to wipe away the tears. Tina sat across the booth from her and took her hand, her face full of concern.

  “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

  She looked across the table at her friend.

  “Everything.”

  She told Tina the whole story, from the food poisoning incident and how Ben had blamed her, to her newfound knowledge about what had actually happened. And then she told her the really hard part, the part where she’d have to leave Paradise and their fledgling business.

  “I’m so sorry, Tina. I don’t want to let you down like this.”

  Tina waved away her concern. “Have you talked to Jack? What does he say?”

  “I haven’t been able to reach him.”

  “Do you love him?”

  There was no point in denying it. “Yes.”

  She squeezed her hand. “Then you can’t just walk away. Don’t let Ben ruin your life again.”

  “I know.” She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Jack. “But I can’t let Rebecca go back to San Francisco without me. Ben would never look after her or give her the attention she needs. I have to go with her.”

  “Think, Bridget. You’ve got the power here. If you tell Ben there’s no way you’ll work for him even if you do go back to San Francisco, do you think he’s still going to want Rebecca? From what you’ve told me I’m sure he’ll find some excuse as to why she can’t live with him.”

  She stared at her friend. She was right. The answer had been sitting in front of her all along. He was only using Rebecca to get her to agree to work for him. If she refused to give in to his blackmail, Rebecca was of no further use to him.

  Or at least she hoped so. Would he go so far as to fight her for sole custody, just for spite?

  If he did, he’d have the fight of his life on his hands.

  Tina handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She took a deep breath.

  “I think it’s time to have a talk with my daughter. And her father.”

  * * *

  Jack led Leslie into the house. Despite her ordeal she seemed quite chipper, which was more than he could say for himself. Watching the doctor set her broken arm had taken ten years off his life.

  Gladys was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She made a sound of distress when she saw Leslie’s cast.

  “Oh, my girl. That’s quite a cast you’ve got there.” Jack had phoned her from the hospital in Bismarck to let her know what had happened.

  To his amazement, Leslie grinned. “The doctor signed his name. See?”

  Gladys examined the cast. “That’s how it works when you have a cast. Everyone has to sign it for you.”

  “You sign, Gladys.”

  “Sure I will.” She found a pen in the drawer and signed the cast. “There you go. How long will you have to wear the cast?”

  Jack answered for her. “The doctor said four to six weeks. It’s a clean break so it should heal quickly.”

  Gladys ruffled Leslie’s hair. “Well, every kid has to break something at least once. Lord knows my kids certainly did.”

  He felt his jaw clench in anger. There’d been no need for this injury, no need at all. If Bridget hadn’t made Leslie think she could ride...

  “There were some phone messages on the machine when I arrived,” Gladys said. “Gavin said he and Dallas fed and watered all the horses. And there were three messages from Bridget. She wants you to call her. It sounded urgent.”

  He couldn’t speak to her right now. He’d wait a day or two until he calmed down. And then he’d lay down the law about what she could and could not say to his daughter.

  “I picked up your mail on my way here,” she said. “It’s on the desk in your office.”

  “Thanks.”

  He left Leslie at the kitchen table drinking a cup of hot chocolate with her one good arm. The sight of her broken arm in its cast wrenched his gut.

  He walked into his office and shuffled through the mail Gladys had placed there. It was the usual: flyers, bills, a couple of magazines. An envelope with an unusual logo caught his eye.The Blackwood Academy. He’d never heard of the place. Curious, he ripped open the envelope.

  By the time he finished reading the enclosed letter and brochure, he could barely control his anger. He marched through the kitchen to the back door, ripping his jacket off its hanger in the closet. Gladys frowned at him.

  “Where are you going? It’s lunchtime.”

  “I have some business in town.”

  “Will you be long?”

  “No.”

  What he had to say to Bridget wouldn’t take long at all.

  * * *

  Rebecca and Ben were playing video games when Bridget ventured upstairs to the apartment. Rebecca was laughing in delight. The sound stabbed at her heart. Why was she always cast in the role of the bad guy?

  She glanced at the fancy electronics lying on the floor between them. “Where did the Play Station come from?”

  “Dad brought it. Isn’t it cool?”

  “I’m glad I brought it,” Ben said derisively. “There’s nothing to do in this dump.”

  “There’s plenty to do, isn’t there, Rebecca?”

  “Sure. I’ve been riding at Jack’s place all fall. I get to feed the horses and brush them down after they’ve been exercised. And I help Jack muck out the barn sometimes.”

  He sneered. “Sounds like this Jack is using you for cheap labor. You shouldn’t have let some farmer take advantage of my daughter, Bridget.”r />
  Rebecca turned to stare at her father. “Jack’s not taking advantage of me. I want to work with the horses. I want to be a vet and specialize in equine medicine when I finish high school.”

  “Veterinary medicine? Come on, Becky, you can do better than that. The real money’s in law or business or maybe human medicine.”

  She looked crushed. “But I love horses. It’s what I want to do.”

  Bridget put a protective hand on her shoulder. “I think you’ll make a wonderful vet, honey. You’re great with animals, especially horses.”

  “It’s kind of a masculine job, isn’t it?” Ben said.

  “Are you saying girls can’t be vets?” Rebecca asked. Bridget recognized the defiant tone in her voice.

  “No,” he backtracked, “I’m just saying you can do better. Besides, if you go into horse medicine you’ll be stuck out in the country. Why would you want to limit yourself like that?”

  Rebecca said nothing, but Bridget could tell she was upset by her father’s refusal to support her choices. Arrogant bastard. She’d like nothing better than to throw him out on his ass.

  “I spoke to an old friend in San Francisco this morning,” she said casually. “Keith Morton. He had a lot of interesting things to say.”

  He looked up sharply. “Did he?”

  “Oh yes. He gave me the lowdown on all the happenings in the San Francisco restaurant and catering world. Fascinating stuff.”

  “Morton always was an old gossip.”

  “He knew all about new catering company openings and he had some new insights into old closures.”

  He turned back to the video game, feigning disinterest. But she could see the tension in his shoulders.

  “In fact, he said that things have changed so much that a lot of catering companies would be very interested in hiring me if I decide to return to San Francisco. So that means I wouldn’t have to accept your job offer, Ben. Ever.”

  He turned angry eyes on her. “Is that so?”