My Dirty Detour: An Alpha Male Mafia Comedy Romance

by Grace Risata

  “I must rate pretty high if you’re sharing chocolate with me.” Rocky hesitated before continuing, “Maybe you should know more about me before you get in any deeper.” Oh…that did not sound good. A look of fear clouded my face. Rocky stopped eating and laid down with his head in my lap, staring up at me. “You’ve told me about your family, Violet. I guess I should let you know about mine now.”

  “Is your grandfather, ok? Last Saturday Sergio told me that he was sick. I wanted to ask you about him, but Sergio warned me not to say anything because you’d be pissed at him for telling me. He wanted me to know the reason that you were drinking so much that day. “

  “It’s a long story. My family is pretty fucked up and I don’t like to talk about it because I’m ashamed of them. I’m from New York City originally. My dad was a stock broker and my mom was a selfish vain socialite who never worked a day in her life. She was beautiful and she knew it. My father bought her the best of everything. He was equally obsessed with money and having more than the next person. If there was something to buy and flaunt, then they had to have it. The trouble was that he didn’t make his money honestly. He lied to clients to get them to invest and then embezzled to afford his life of luxury. He was a thief and a cheat. It all caught up to him when I was eight. The feds had been keeping tabs on him for a while and finally had enough evidence to prosecute. I was nine years old when he got sentenced to forty years in prison for white collar crime. He fucked over the wrong people and they made sure he didn’t get away with it. In addition to embezzling, he had a pyramid scheme involving investors in four different states. Some of his victims were in law enforcement and they didn’t appreciate looking like fools. They threw the book at him and I haven’t seen him since the day he went away.” That must have been horrible! I started playing with his hair while he lay in my lap.

  “My mom wasn’t going to sit around wasting her youth while her husband rotted in jail. She sent me to live with my grandparents, her mom and dad, so she could run around. I saw her sporadically throughout my childhood but she took off permanently after I turned eighteen. I guess my grandparents were decent. My grandmother was sick all my life. She had problems with her kidneys and was bedridden most of the time I knew her. She passed away when I was seventeen. My grandfather tried pretty hard to raise me right. It’s just that he was old and busy with helping my grandmother. He did the best he could. I know that now. The reason he’s sick is that he has lung cancer. He smoked all his life and it finally caught up to him. The recipe for my gin, the one that you think tastes like ass, is a family secret that he passed down to me.” Me and my big mouth. I started to stammer an apology, but he looked up at me and said, “Don’t worry about it. Dmitry thought it was funny. He’s more serious than even I am. He needs a good laugh every now and then.”

  “Yeah, since you brought him up...what were you talking about earlier tonight when you said to have Dmitry take care of Lance and Enrique? Dmitry doesn’t even work for you. Why was he going to talk to them? What was that all about?” I had been wondering about that ever since Rocky’s weird conversation with Sergio.

  “That’s a bit more complicated. After my dad went to jail and my mom took off, I was left with just my grandparents. I started acting out and getting in trouble at school. The kids tried to start fights and beat me up because of who my dad was. I got picked on really bad. I was still best friends with Sergio and I went to his house every day after school. His family was cool. He lived in a giant house with his mom, dad, and two brothers. In addition to Carmine, he had a younger brother. We don’t talk about him. EVER.” Rocky’s face got a faraway look, one of unhappiness. “Anyway, his mom was the best cook and they always had a large group of people hanging out at their house. Something was always going on. It was a fun place to be.”

  “For the most part,” he continued, “I lived at Sergio’s house and they took me in as one of their own. Sergio’s dad knew the story of my broken home and I think he took pity on me. Two of his buddies were over one day when I walked in with a black eye. I must have been about twelve. They asked me what happened and listened as I recounted the fight earlier at school. Sergio stuck up for me and told them it wasn’t a fair fight since it was three against one. They bitched at Sergio for not jumping in to help and then proceeded to show us some moves and teach us to fight. Sergio didn’t care to pay attention because he was all about the ladies, even back then. I took to it like a fish to water. I was a natural at fighting. It didn’t matter if it was boxing, street fighting, whatever. I found something I was good at and these guys were giving me the attention I didn’t have at home. They told me that ‘Rockford’ was dead and I was ‘Rocky’ now because I solved problems with my fists. I soaked up everything they had to teach me.”

  Rocky closed his eyes and went quiet for a minute. “Sergio’s mom died of cancer when we were only sixteen. We kind of lost our minds for a while. We fell in with a rough crowd and that’s how we eventually met Dmitry. We all got into our fair share of trouble. Sergio’s dad was...a businessman. He had all sorts of different projects going on. The three of us made sure things ran smoothly and filled in where we were needed. Some bad shit went down a few years ago with the girl I told you about, so Sergio and I came out here to get a fresh start. Dmitry didn’t come right away. He came about six months later. He ended up getting shot and that was the last straw. Enough was enough. He hasn’t been the same since he took a bullet. Maybe he realized he wasn’t invincible after all. Anyway, Dmitry was something of a…how should I put this...a bodyguard. If anyone was causing trouble, like an ex-employee trying to talk bad about a business deal or make problems, then Dmitry handled it. So that’s why I told Sergio to have Dmitry pay a visit to Lance and Enrique. Dmitry can be quite intimidating. If you think I’m bad, you should see him once he gets started.”

  Holy shit! I can’t imagine anyone with a worse temper than Rocky. I was surprised because I never saw that side of Dmitry at all. He seemed easy going. Just a normal guy shooting an AK-47 and goofing around with his friends. Maybe the fact that it was an AK-47 should have tipped me off that he was a bit more bad-ass than the average dude. “I didn’t think Dmitry was scary at all,” I admitted. “You’re way worse.”

  Rocky laughed and said, “That’s because you don’t know him. He was in a good mood that day because he got his new toy. He also loves to bust my balls any chance he gets. Sergio had been telling him about how crazy you made me and he wanted to see it first-hand.” Now we were getting somewhere.

  “Why do I make you crazy?” I wanted to know what he thought of me and why he kissed me at work today in front of everyone.

  “It’s good crazy, Violet, not bad crazy. You’re different from anyone I’ve ever met before. I can just be here with you and relax and talk and forget about the rest of the world. I’m a very private person and I have a hard time dealing with people. Everyone usually annoys the piss out of me. But you, you’re different. No matter how much time I spend with you, it’s not enough. I want more. I keep waiting to get sick of you but I never do. That’s actually why I invited you to the food thing last weekend. I couldn’t get you out of my head and I figured that a whole day with you would make me insane and you’d get on my nerves after ten minutes. I thought you would eventually be so aggravating that it would snap me out of my fascination with you. That hasn’t happened yet.”

  “WHAT?! You only asked me out because I was annoying and you wanted to get me out of your system? What the hell? And you have a fascination with me like I’m a circus freak? So after I get boring, you’re going to move on to the next thing? Fuck you!” I had no idea how the night had taken such a turn for the worse. My temper flared.

  “Violet. Calm Down. Listen to me. I think you’re beautiful. I want to reach out and grab one of your curls every time you walk past me. You’re so smart to organize all that accounting stuff at work. I was so pissed off the night you accused me of kissing your ass just to keep you working. Don’t think that fo
r a second. I like you because you’re YOU, not because I want anything in return. My life has not been very easy. You make me forget the past and give me hope for the future. You’re so sweet and innocent, yet you swear like a truck driver and keep busting my chops. You don’t let me get away with anything. Most of all, you make me laugh. I need that at the end of the day. I need you. I fought my feelings at first. I don’t have anything to offer you. I’m not rich. My family is fucked up. I’m anti-social. But I couldn’t fight it anymore. It was tearing me up inside. Last night when I dropped you off at your house and you told me that life was too short to waste…you’re right. I’m not wasting any more of mine. You wished you could touch me whenever you wanted…I think that way about you too.”

  That was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me. I launched myself right at him and knocked him over as we became a tangle of arms and legs. Finding his lips, I took what was mine. We kissed even more passionately than we had in the back seat of Sergio’s car. There was no more denying fate; we gave in to our desires. My eyes were closed while I explored his body with my hands and mouth. After feverishly kissing him, I wanted to explore other areas. He let me take the lead as I sucked on his ear, his neck, his throat. Working my way down, I ran my hands up his shirt and felt rock hard abs. Whoa. I put an immediate stop to all action and sat up.

  “Take off your shirt!” I demanded.

  “What?” he replied.

  “I have to see if that looks as good as it feels. Show me what’s under there,” I ordered.

  “What kind of guy do you think I am? You give me half a candy bar and expect me to undress? If you want to see mine, then show me yours first.” Ugh, really? Well, why not? I guess I would sooner or later anyway.

  I whipped off my shirt and flung it aside I was wearing one of my better bras. It was white with some lace on the front. I licked my lips really slowly and raised my eyebrows. “More?” I asked.

  Without waiting for his reply, I slipped the strap off one shoulder and then the other. I spun it around, unhooked it, and threw it aside. “Your turn,” I purred.

  “I did not see that coming. You can’t shove those in my face and not let me play with them,” Rocky said as he dove at me and took one breast in his hand while the other found its way to his mouth. He was alternating between licking and sucking one, while caressing and massaging the other. It felt so good. Normally I didn’t much care for anything involving my chest, but this was phenomenal. It took about two seconds for my girls to stand at attention.

  Rocky moaned, “Violet, your body is so sensitive to my touch. If your nipples react like this, I can’t wait to see how the rest of you responds later. I’m going to make you scream so hard you forget your own name.” Ok. Sounds good to me. Sign me up. Let’s go!

  He still hadn’t taken off his shirt yet and it was pissing me off. “Take off your fucking shirt, Rocky. NOW.”

  I think he got off on being told what to do. He growled and ripped his shirt off. I can’t begin to describe the sight of Rocky with no shirt on. It was the most sculpted, muscular, amazing chest I’d ever seen up close and personal. I would compare it to a statue of a Greek God carved from marble. He had a six pack and then some. The best part was the lack of chest hair. I have a thing for men with shaved chests. Hairy men gross me out. It’s creepy to see hair sticking up from the neck of someone’s shirt, like a spider trying to climb its way out. I took my hands and massaged the front of Rocky’s chest. This body exists in movies and books, not in real life. The fact that I’m touching it right now is beyond my comprehension.

  “Rocky, you are the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life. Why the hell did you make me wait so long to see this chest? I could bounce a quarter off these abs. If I were you, I’d walk around shirtless all the time!” I bent my head down to lick his nipple to see what would happen.

  He ran his hands through my hair and whispered, “Don’t stop, Violet.” So I didn’t. I licked one nipple and then the other. Back and forth. Left and Right. I didn’t want to ignore the nipple that wasn’t being licked, so I circled it with my thumb until it was time to switch off. Rocky began to pant and abruptly got up and walked away.

  “What did I do wrong? I liked that!” I pouted. His body seemed to react positively, so I don’t know why he left.

  “Yeah, Violet, I liked it too. A little too much. If you don’t want to end up with me inside of you in about five seconds, then we’ve got to slow it down, ok?” I guess I should back off too.

  I put my shirt on while I smiled up at him and explained, “You’re really fucking hot. I know we should slow down because I’m not that kind of girl, but it’s frustrating.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what frustrating feels like after you’ve had a case of blue balls like the one I’m going to have after this,” he said and smirked. Touché.

  “Ok fine. Slow down. What do you want to do then?” I know what I wanted to do. I wanted him to make me scream until I forgot my own name. That plan sounded pretty enticing to me.

  “I don’t have a condom and I think you’d hate yourself in the morning for rushing into things so fast. Don’t think that I don’t want to...because I sure as hell do, alright?” Rocky explained.

  “Ok. Lay back down in my lap and then we’ll just talk some more, how’s that?” I would make do with touching his hair and massaging his head. As long as I was touching something, I could handle that.

  “No, that’s not going to work. If you’re touching me, then I’m going to be touching you and we’ll be right back where we are now. Let me take you home. Next time I’ll come prepared and we won’t have this problem. You’re not on the pill, are you?” Rocky asked hopefully.

  “No! I was on the pill for almost ten years when I was with my ex. The day he left I was overjoyed to quit taking it. What a relief not having to worry about that damn thing anymore. Anyway, even if I was on the pill, I couldn’t have unprotected sex with you. No matter how insanely bad I want you, I would be worried about getting an STD and I couldn’t enjoy myself. The panic would override the pleasure. I have anxiety issues just a little bit.” I’m glad I got that off my chest. No way was I just letting him get it in with no protection.

  “I’m sorry, Violet. I would never put you at risk. I lost my mind for a second there. I was thinking with my cock instead of my head. Just so you know - I got tested for everything after I left New York. I’m totally clean and haven’t been with anyone in two and a half years. I always used condoms with EVERY girl I’ve been with, especially the bitch that ruined my life. She was the last girl I slept with.”

  “Wow. No wonder we’re both ready to explode. It’s coming up on two years now since I separated from my husband. I made sure my gynecologist did the STD tests after we broke up just in case he cheated while we were married. I demanded every test available. I’m a hypochondriac. All my annual exams have been perfectly fine ever since.” While we were on the topic of sex and our histories, I had another question for Rocky. “Hey, why did you freak out and back off so fast last Saturday when I told you that my ex-husband was the only person I’d ever been with? And then why did you tell me there would not be a repeat performance of Saturday? I see you didn’t stick to that, did you?” I teased.

  “Violet, even though I was drunk it was apparent how inexperienced you are in comparison to me. You’re not that kind of girl, the kind that fucks in the backseat of a car with someone else watching. I have more respect for you than that. I told you there wouldn’t be a repeat of Saturday in the hopes that you would give up and walk away. You didn’t give up and I couldn’t stay away either. So here we are.”

  “Two pent up, sexually frustrated losers with no condom?” I suggested.

  “Exactly! It’s getting late. Let me take you home and we can call it a night. The sooner tonight ends, it will be tomorrow and I can see you again. Do you have any weekend plans?” Rocky looked at me waiting for my answer while we picked up the food and started walking back toward the
car.

  “Actually, I do! Saturday night I have a hot party to go to. My best friend Stella is having a surprise birthday party for her mother-in-law, Marjorie. She turns sixty in a few days. I know the whole family pretty well. They owned a little restaurant and I waited tables there for a few months when I was in high school. My party invitation said ‘Violet and guest’ so...would you like to go with me?”

  “I would be honored to be your date. But I’m not waiting until Saturday to see you again. How about if I take you out for a nice dinner tomorrow? Pick any place you want and I’ll be at your house at six.”

  “That sounds great. I’ll make reservations at my favorite Italian restaurant.”

  We held hands and walked the rest of the way in silence, enjoying the night. This had to have been one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. All my nights seem to be getting better since I met Rocky and his friends. My life was taking shape and I looked forward to the future.

  When we got back to the car, I noticed my phone had a new text message. It was Stella. “What the hell is going on? It’s ten o’clock on a school night! I’m dying to know what you’re doing. TEXT ME BACK.”

  I laughed and texted, “I’m not home yet. Don’t worry! He only got to second base. I’ll call you tomorrow after work with all the details. He’s coming to Marjorie’s party as my date. You can meet him then!”

  The drive back to my house passed quickly, and ultimately it was time to say goodnight. Rocky walked me to my front door and paused to brush a stray hair off my forehead. He leaned down to kiss me on the neck and whispered in my ear, “Tonight meant something to me. I have a hard time opening up, but with you it’s effortless.” I looked into his eyes and he continued, “Good night, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I got one last kiss, opened my door, and did a happy dance all around my house. It was a good night, indeed.

  Friday, Week Two