My Dirty Detour: An Alpha Male Mafia Comedy Romance

by Grace Risata

  “Thank you,” I squeaked as I basked in the afterglow while he continued to ease in and out, gently rocking back and forth, slow and steady.

  Rocky leaned down and whispered in my ear, “You still want a bit of rough?”

  “Maybe?” I answered. Honestly, I just wanted to relive the last two minutes of my life over and over again, on constant repeat. It was that mind-blowing.

  He stopped thrusting and got off me.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, pissed that he was done already.

  “I’m not going anywhere, you are. Spin around,” he ordered. “I want you ass up and face down, you dirty whore.”

  I gasped and protested, “No name calling!”

  “If I said ‘pretty please with a cherry on top’ then it wouldn’t be rough sex, now would it?”

  Ok, fine. He had a point there. I spun around a bit hesitantly, not knowing where all this was leading to.

  “Remember that you wanted this, not me. We can stop at any time.” Rocky paused waiting for me to reply, but I didn’t. He barked out more commands. “I want you on your knees, ass up, face down. Prop yourself up on your elbows.”

  I assumed the position and he pressed down on the middle of my back so it was touching the ground. “There,” he said, “just like that.” He put his hands on my ass and I felt something pressing into the back door.

  “Argh! Wrong hole! Watermelon!” I yelled, invoking my safe word.

  “Will you relax? I know the difference between your asshole and the one I’m aiming for, ok?”

  Sure enough, he got the right place. He slid it in and began to slowly enter me from behind. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.

  “Have you done this before?” he whispered.

  “Yeah, I’ve done it doggy style. It goes in deeper because you’re at a different angle. I remembered it as being more uncomfortable, but it feels ok now.”

  “That’s because I’m not in all the way,” he warned.

  “Oh shit.” Me and my bright idea of rough sex was going to come back to bite me in the ass. Damn. What if literally biting me in the ass was next on the agenda? I’m screwed! There’s another pun! I couldn’t help but laugh at myself.

  Rocky stopped and asked, “Are you okay? Why are you laughing?”

  “Internal monologue. Never mind. Keep going.”

  He eased in all the way and began to slowly pump in and out. After a few times, I got used to the size of him and it was actually not a bad sensation at all. He must have mistaken my lack of tension for permission to go crazy, because he really started going at it. He went full swing into pounding away at me, grabbing my ass to plunge deeper. It took all my energy to clutch the blanket and not to have my knees give out or fly straight ahead with each thrust. Rocky leaned forward to grasp my breasts and moan in pleasure. He freed one hand to wrap around my hair and pull my head back.

  “Fuck yes, Violet. You’re turning me into an animal. Can you come this way?” he asked breathlessly.

  “Not a chance in hell,” I answered honestly.

  He got the hint to end this and made a few more frenzied drives into me before he found his release and screamed in ecstasy. I collapsed in exhaustion while he sat next to me and tried to catch his breath. We started to get dressed and he looked around with a growing panic while holding the used condom in his hand.

  “Shit. What am I supposed to do with this now?” he asked in confusion. “I can’t leave it here.”

  “You don’t want to litter Mother Nature with your jizzy rubber, huh?” I asked.

  “No, I do not. This is my special place. I don’t want to, as you so eloquently described, jizz it up. I’m going to have to take drastic measures.”

  Rocky took off both of his socks and put the condom in there. “I never liked these socks anyway.”

  After laughing to the point of not being able to breathe, I finally settled down and asked him, “Did you like that? I mean was it good? Better than the first time?”

  “Yes. I liked it and it was extremely satisfying, but it wasn’t better than the first time. I enjoyed it because it feels different in another position. I could tell that you got nothing out of it, so it wasn’t as exciting for me. I’m all about you. When you get all wild and I can tell that you’re about to get off, that’s what makes me crazy. You had a pretty good one before, huh? I can tell. That’s what I’m aiming for. Do you feel better now? Is your giant ball of worry not so bad anymore?”

  “Yeah, I forgot about that until you just brought it up again. Thanks.”

  “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t die tomorrow,” Rocky promised and closed his eyes. It took him all of two minutes before he fell asleep and settled in a steady breathing pattern. I gazed at him, trying to memorize his beautiful face in case it got pounded to a bloody pulp tomorrow. He had such a striking face. Strong cheekbones, crooked nose, long eyelashes. I could feast upon this view forever and still not get enough of it. The fact that he was mine, was icing on the cake. I dug in my pants pocket, cautious not to make any noise and inadvertently wake him up. I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of him. He looked so tranquil. I wanted to remember this Rocky, the one without the weight of the world on his shoulders. I wished he could be at peace all the time. I absentmindedly stroked his cheek and his hair, while taking as many mental pictures as possible.

  My touching caused him to stir and I froze in place.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. “You’re looking at me like either I’m the last chocolate bar in the entire world and you want to devour me, or like it’s our final day together and you’re afraid you’re never going to see me again.”

  “It’s a cross between the two,” I replied. I held up my phone and admitted, “I took a picture to capture this moment in case it all goes to shit tomorrow.”

  “You’re really upset, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “How could I not be? What if he hurts you? What if you die? What if you take a hit to the head and get a concussion that leads to amnesia and you forget how much you like me?”

  “I could never forget how much I like you. Don’t worry about that one. It’s not ever going to happen. As for the rest….you can’t ask ‘what if?’ questions all the time. What if I grow green hair on my chest? What if the zombies rise up and take over the earth? What if you worry so much about the fight, and then we get in a car accident on the way there tomorrow and we all die? There are no guarantees in life.”

  “That’s not making me feel any better!”

  Rocky sighed in frustration. “I don’t know what I can tell you, other than that I will fight to the last breath for you. I will not give up until I’m the last one standing. Nothing will keep me from giving you a happily ever after. As much as you’ve seen me in small scuffles, you’ve never seen me in one hundred percent full-on brawl mode. Trust me a little, ok?”

  “Just don’t jeopardize your time on Earth with me,” I pleaded.

  “I’ll try not to. I promise,” he said as he leaned over and kissed me gently. “Come and lay next to me and let’s just relax for a few minutes before we go home. I want to enjoy my happy place just a little bit longer before I have to face reality.”

  I cuddled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

  A thought came into my head and I shared it with him. “Tomorrow will be exactly three weeks since the first day we met. I can’t wrap my head around that. So much has happened in such a short time. I feel like I’ve lived a whole lifetime.”

  “It HAS passed by rather quickly, hasn’t it?” Rocky mused.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “For what?” he asked.

  “Everything. For giving in and being with me, even though you knew I might find out about your past and freak out. For being patient with my endless amount of questions. For being so considerate in bed and knowing just what to do and what not to do. For taking good care of me and protecting me. For being you.” I didn’t want to get too mushy so I added
one more. “For putting the stinky condom in your sock instead of mine.”

  “Had to go and throw that last one in there, didn’t you? Way to ruin the moment.”

  “I’m Violet-y, what can I say?” I admitted with a smile.

  Thursday Night, Week Three

  We finally made our way back to Rocky’s place and reluctantly walked in, not sure what would be waiting for us. We hadn’t exactly left on great terms after Rocky pretty much gave Carmine a big “fuck you” and walked away.

  Vasily yelled down from the roof and greeted us with a big wave.

  “Poor Vasily, he’s got to be sick of living on your roof all the time. You owe him big for this,” I told Rocky as he opened the door to the brewery and led me in.

  “I’ll get him a nice vacation so he can take Irina away somewhere warm and tropical. They’ll appreciate that.”

  We went through the office and opened the secret door, but we were not the only ones in Rocky’s apartment. Sergio and Dmitry were sitting on the couch watching TV. They were not killing each other, so that was a good sign.

  Dmitry took one look at our disheveled appearances and said, “What have you two been up to, as if I didn’t know?”

  Sergio grinned and remarked, “That’s one way to burn off some energy.”

  “I’ll leave it up to your imagination. What happened with Carmine after we took off?” Rocky asked, abandoning pleasantries and getting right down to business.

  “Maybe Violet should go to sleep early and let us talk about that?” Sergio suggested.

  “No!” I protested. “This involves me, too. I don’t want to miss out on anything.”

  “Hey, Yoko, we need to have some boy time, ok?” Sergio looked at me pointedly and I rolled my eyes.

  “Fine. I can take a hint.” I kissed Rocky on the cheek and said, “Take care of your business and if it’s anything I need to know, then fill me in after you come to bed.” It took every last ounce of my will power to walk away, but somehow I managed. Maybe they needed to discuss strategy for tomorrow. Maybe Rocky needed time with his dudes. I had spent every last waking moment with him for the past two days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I trudged off to the bedroom like I was walking the last mile on death row. I shut the door, took out my contacts, and went to bed.

  Rocky waited until the bedroom door was completely shut and then plopped down on the L-shaped sofa next to Sergio. He ran his hand down his face in frustration and said, “Ok, she’s gone. What did I miss this afternoon?”

  Dmitry was all too happy to answer. “After you left, all hell broke loose with Sergio and Carmine. I heard yelling, and Vasily and I ran up to the roof to find Gypsy pulling Sergio off Carmine.”

  “Yeah,” Sergio confessed, “he had no right to say those things to you, Rocky, to question your loyalty. You’re not a violent asshole at all, you’ve been looking out for me since the day we met. I think Carmine has it all wrong. We haven’t changed, they have. You should have seen the cheap skank he picked up at the bar on Tuesday night. I know he steps out behind Gina’s back, but I thought it was one girl on the side, not an all you can eat buffet. He’s been married for years and I don’t remember him ever being that sleazy. Dad was never like that, he knew how to be discreet.”

  “After your mom died we all took it hard, but I don’t think Carmine every really got over it,” Rocky theorized. “He never talked about it, never showed emotion, never made his peace. Then once you add Luigi’s death into the mix….I think Carmine just snapped. He just cracked and he hasn’t been the same since.”

  “We left before Luigi’s death, how do you know what happened? We weren’t there,” Sergio insisted, with an obvious sense of guilt.

  “Tell him,” Rocky said to Dmitry.

  Dmitry explained, “I didn’t leave right away when you guys took off. I saw this with my own eyes, and what I didn’t directly witness, I sure heard about. Carmine went on a rampage. He had a month long bender. Murders, drugs, parties that never ended. He either shot it, snorted it, or fucked it. Your dad sent Carmine’s wife on a two month long vacation to Italy so she wouldn’t have to be around him. The situation came to a head when Carmine shot a cop who pulled him over for drunk driving. Luckily, the cop was dirty and he was already on the Barsotti payroll. He knew who he was pulling over. He didn’t want Carmine to get stopped by someone who would really arrest him. He was only trying to help. Carmine shot him in the upper arm. This cop had the brains to go straight to Mr. Barsotti and tell him what his son had done. Angelo thanked the cop, helped him make up a story to tell his bosses, and got him the best doctors that money could buy. You better believe that cop got a fat wad of hush money. I’m talking like a payoff-your-mortgage-and-get-a-condo-in-Florida sized payout.”

  “Angelo was enraged at Carmine’s stupidity,” Dmitry continued. “He had Carmine brought in and gave him a stern lecture. Carmine got roughed up pretty bad. Angelo had every single one of his guys in attendance to witness Carmine’s fall from grace. Dante, Gypsy, all the guys that Carmine considered loyal to him. Not one of them attempted to step in and help him. Angelo was teaching him a lesson to show him who the real boss was. Carmine got the message and pulled his shit together.

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Sergio asked Rocky.

  “What good would it have done? You couldn’t have helped him. He wouldn’t listen to anyone. I figured it was best if I kept you here, out of harm’s way. I didn’t want you pulled in to that. I’ve tried to keep you from getting killed your whole life.”

  Sergio shook his head in anger. “Carmine had the balls to tell ME that I’m a disappointment to the family. That fucker. After all that he did, HE has the nerve to tell ME that I’m a loser? He said I’d never amount to anything. That’s when I took a swing at him on the roof today.”

  “Did you hit him?” Rocky asked.

  “No,” Sergio replied. “You saw what condition I was in when you left. I was drunk. I swung wide and Gypsy pulled me away before I could take another whack at him. Dante called me a fucking pussy and said I was no fun anymore.”

  “That’s when I walked into the conversation and pulled my gun on Dante,” Dmitry said with a smile. “I don’t like people insulting Sergio. That’s my job.”

  Sergio rolled his eyes and continued the story. “Vasily, Dante, and Gypsy all drew their guns and we had a nice little stand-off. It was three against three and no one was in the mood to die, so they walked away.”

  “It was really bizarre to have Sergio standing with us against the Italians,” Dmitry admitted.

  I’m sorry I wasn’t there and I missed all that. I would have liked to teach Carmine a lesson about respect,” Rocky said, regretting his absence.

  “It’s okay. We handled things,” Sergio responded. “Besides, you were doing other things. Like Violet.”

  “Damn. Normally I’m the one fighting and you’re the one fucking. Shit really is getting bizarre around here,” Rocky admitted.

  “Speaking of Violet, though…I’m sorry Carmine talked about her like she was some trashy bimbo of the week. She’s pretty cool.” Sergio hesitated before adding, “There’s something you should know. She might have made a bet with me.”

  “What kind of a bet?” Rocky demanded.

  “She put up ten grand that you’d win tomorrow. She’s using her car as collateral. She told me that I should give you the money when you win and don’t tell you where it came from. She’s worried because the brewery hasn’t been operating at full capacity since all this shit went down. She doesn’t want your business to suffer.”

  “Are you serious?” Rocky asked in disbelief.

  “I was just as shocked as you are, my friend. That was very impressive on her part. I knew she liked you, but that really proved just how much she cares. She’s totally in your corner, man. You got a good one. Don’t let her go,” Sergio advised.

  Dmitry added his opinion. “It was very smart of her to make that bet. I actually made the same bet.
My car is worth about twenty grand. I figure I’m due for a nice vacation after we win tomorrow and all this is over. No pressure though.”

  “No pressure at all. If I win, we all take a nice vacation. If I lose, chances are good that it’s because I’m dead….and everyone is walking around because they all lost their cars making stupid bets,” Rocky growled.

  “You’re not going to die,” Dmitry assured his friend.

  Sergio was not as confident. “Are you sure that you can take on Alexei and win?”

  “Yes,” Rocky said. “He has nothing to lose and I have everything riding on this. Motivation is in my corner. He’s never seen me fight before. He hides behind his family in the Ukraine and fights people that he knows he can beat. He’s going to come in like the big tough guy who thinks the rules don’t apply to him. He’s about to be taught a lesson. There are no rules. There’s only me and I’m not going to let him get away with anything. With every punch I throw at that fucker, I’m going to see Luigi’s face and remember what I’m fighting for. I’m avenging his death. My only problem is going to be finding a way to end the fight without killing Alexei. I can’t kill him in front of Violet. There’s no going back from that. She doesn’t know what I’m capable of and I don’t want her to find out. Tomorrow is going to be interesting, that’s for sure.”