Between the Rage and Grace

by Janna Hill

  Maggie Turner had all the charms of a Southern Belle along with the trophies, the ribbons and the husband to prove it. She had been born a debutante, bred of the finest Mississippi stock and groomed from her first breath. So it was not exceptional that her affluent parents would persuade her to seek out a gentleman worthy of all she had to offer which meant he needed to come not only from money but power and prestige.

  “A pig farmer can be wealthy but what good is it if only the pigs are persuaded by him?”

  Those were the words her mother would use to remind sweet Maggie in the event her eye wandered in the wrong direction. “Yes Ma’am.” Would be Maggie’s only reply for it was unheard of to disrespect your elders, and never under any circumstances would one show such disregard for family. Maggie reveled in the privileged life she had been born into, she never thought differently because she had never known anything else.

  Ray Lafont was not really a handsome man but he had a certain charisma that made one look past his minor imperfections and he matched the criteria Maggie’s mother had pressed into every cell of her cerebral thought process. He spoiled Maggie with gifts.

  What ever his appearance was lacking he more than made up for it in kindness and generosity throughout their courtship. Mr. & Mrs. Turner adored him and the fact that he was on his way to the senate didn’t hurt his reputation any either.

  “Oh Maggie darlin’ have you heard?” Mrs. Turner squealed like a school girl running in to find Maggie stretched out in the huge bay window like a cat sunning with last month’s Cosmopolitan.”

  “What Mother dear?” Maggie responded sitting up with anticipation because for her Mama to get this excited it must be a scrumptious bit of news.

  “Ray is now Senator Lafont.” Mr. Turner started.

  “Yes Ma’am I know. The celebrations have all been taken care of.” Maggie assured her.

  “No, no not that silly. Ray has asked your father for your hand in marriage and we are going to announce it at the victory celebration. Oh sweetie, it is really gonna happen. So many good things are going to come of this.”

  “He is a senator for the state of Louisiana Mama; I don’t see how that will help you and Daddy.” Maggie said as she returned to her spot on the window sill.”

  “It don’t matter what state authorizes his power Maggie, it is power nonetheless. It’s the good ole boys magnified ten thousand. We are gonna be set for life!”

  “But Mother I thought we were already set for life. I’ll have to move to Louisiana.” Maggie fretted.

  “We will be better set and for heavens sake child it’s not like you’re moving to Alaska. We’ll practically be neighbors. You’ll see your Mama at least once a week.”

  Maggie knew Ray was from what they referred to as old money but she knew very little of how the Lafont’s maintained their fortune. She also knew that her fiancé was not properly qualified for any political office.

  “Does it bother you that Ray’s seat was bought? That if it weren’t for his family-”

  Mrs. Turner cut Maggie short, “No it does not bother me and it shouldn’t bother you. Have you any idea what the Lafont’s can do for your daddy’s practice? Not six figures Maggie, Not nine hundred ninety nine thousand I’m talkin millions.

  We need this, don’t mess it up little lady.” She said, “Now kiss your Mama bye; I’ve got to run out and get a new dress.”

  Maggie pecked her mother on the cheek and went back to reading.

  On the happiest day in the Turner’s life Mrs. Turner readied the guests as Mr. Turner made the announcement with all the pomp and pride one would expect from a southern gentleman who ran the largest law firm in the county. After a self promoting toast he raised his glass to his future son in law, the honorable senator from Louisiana Mr. Ray Lafont and his soon to be wife.

  When the glass went up Ray and Maggie smiled on queue and took center stage.

  Ray looked as handsome as his physique could allow. The dark Armani suit done well to hide the pot belly few knew he carried but all eyes were on Maggie in the cream colored satin gown made especially for this occasion. She looked like a bride already.

  The wedding was not nearly as extravagant as the victory celebration with the announcement of their engagement but the month long trip to Honolulu (courtesy of the tax payers) more than made up for it.

  “My heavens, I don’t believe I’ll ever get all of this rice out of my hair.” Maggie laughed as she brushed at the dried rice in her hair while a few tiny grains found their way into the lace of her bon voyage burgundy outfit.

  “Just jump in the shower.” Ray suggested, un-doing the buttons on her blouse, “Let it wash down the drain.”

  “I think I will. My hair is to stiff to contend with – with all that blasted hair spray.”

  “Watch your mouth!” Ray snapped.

  “Honey, I was just sayin-”

  “I know what you were saying and I’m saying watch your mouth.” Ray was firm in his instructions, “I’ll not have you cursing.”

  Maggie didn’t know what to say or if she should say anything. Saying blasted seemed like a small thing to her but she didn’t want to upset her groom.

  “You’re right sweetie, I’ll be more careful.” Maggie promised and headed for the shower.

  She was sticky and fatigued and grateful for the warm shower.

  “Can you believe fifteen hours on a plane?” Maggie called from the shower. She knew the flight would be a long one and she didn’t really care. She was making idle conversation to avoid the nervous jitters that kept trying to overtake her. She had never made love to Ray. They had come close, and she would have but he was always the gentleman. Maggie had imagined making love with Ray and based on his touch and his tongue she knew he would make a good lover.

  “You wanted to go to Hawaii. You didn’t think it would be like going to LA, did you?” Ray called back.

  “Why don’t you come in here and talk to me?” Maggie asked in her most seductive voice expecting Ray would find the suggestion irresistible and be naked within seconds. She very much wanted him to find her sexy, sensual, hot and yes even raunchy.

  Mrs. Turner’s last reminder to Maggie, her secret motto for a successful marriage kept running through Maggie’s head, You’ve got to be a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. Mrs. Turner had whispered as she kissed her daughter goodbye, He is your husband now don’t deny him anything or he’ll look for it elsewhere.

  “Why don’t you come out here?” Ray answered back, his own voice thick now with sultry lust.

  Maggie stepped out of the shower and examined her body in the full length mirror.

  At 5’6 she would probably never be a fashion model but I do look good she admitted, rubbing the terry cloth towel over her firm, smooth flesh. Her breasts, though a B sized cup could pass for a C with the right brazier, perched high and proud on her chest. Letting the towel fall to the floor Maggie softly massaged the perky mounds, running her thumb gently over the small pink nipples until a warm tingle simmered in her lady parts. She let her wet blonde stands drip over her shoulders and down her back as her hands found their way to the prickling quiver. She could feel her heart beat accelerate as she pressed and kneaded the furry dampness in preparation of her marriage consummation.

  “Mag?” Ray’s voice startled her.

  “One moment sweetie.” She answered back, hurrying to fluff dry her hair. She ran a damp toothbrush over her perfect white teeth, slipped into the black negligee that left little to the imagination, moistened her lips with a long wet lick and made her presentation.

  “You like?” she asked while sticking her best come hither pose.

  “Oh yeah I like!” Ray replied patting the space beside him in the king sized bed.

  Maggie forced herself to walk slowly, allowing Ray to take in the sight of his new bride but it was difficult with the chill setting in. Maggie was cold natured and preferred a temperature of seventy five or above, Ray had the thermostat set at sixty eight. Tha
t with her barely clad body and a damp head made it feel more like forty degrees Fahrenheit.

  “Are you nervous?” Ray asked as Maggie slid beneath the icy sheets.

  “A little bit.” Maggie admitted, now shivering from the frigid exposure.

  “I’ll be gentle.” He promised as he leaned over her kissing her as if it were the first time.

  Ray could feel the hardness of Maggie’s nipples against his pale hairless chest and her light trembling body beneath him.

  He had rehearsed this moment over and over in his mind, how he would take her slowly, gently, leaving her exhausted yet wanting more. He had masturbated twice on the fifteen hour flight over to be certain that his desire would not overtake him and cause him to lose control. But his imagination had not prepared him for the feel of her soft bare legs against his hips or her dainty feet sliding up his legs and pressing into his buttocks.

  Maggie could feel his male member growing against her belly and the heat helped ease her chill. With the weight of him against her open thighs and his hot breath on her scalp she had forgotten about the cold. She could feel him throbbing, still against her abdomen while wet, sticky drops of liquid pooled in her navel.

  “Can I see it?” she whispered into his neck.

  Without speaking Ray lifted himself just enough for Maggie to look down at the engorged circumcised phallus. With heightened desire she marveled at the effervescent droplets oozing from its opening.

  Maggie slid her hand between them and touched the glistening fluid with her finger as Ray watched she moaned and smeared the seed filled juice along the shaft.

  “Forgive me Maggie.” Ray groaned as he dropped onto her waiting body and plunged himself deep inside her.

  Maggie was shocked by the suddenness of his passion but also extremely turned on by it as she widened her legs and lifted her hips to meet each thrust.

  “Forgive me.” He repeated with each drive harder than the one before though she barely heard his words over her own whimpers of climax. With the final forgive me Ray fell limp and breathless a top of her. As they lay motionless it dawned on Maggie that she had not planned for any measures of birth control and a panic stirred inside her.

  “Did I hurt you?” Ray asked, lifting himself into the form of a pushup.

  “If you did I wouldn’t mind being hurt like that again.” Maggie joked.

  Ray quickly surveyed the space between their bodies, straining to hold his un-toned tummy in.

  “No blood?” he asked? Staring down at the wet mass of hair between Maggie’s legs.

  “What do you mean?” Maggie asked, a little alarmed, “Am I bleeding?”

  “No.” Ray replied harshly, “But I fully expected you would be.”

  “You weren’t that rough.” Maggie consoled him.

  “Doesn’t matter.” He said throwing the cover back and leaping from the bed and into his trousers.

  “Why are you so upset?” Maggie asked, sitting up and pulling the sheet to her breast.

  “You’re not a virgin, are you?” Ray was speaking to her but staring out at the Honolulu surf.

  “That is an odd question to pose after ravaging your wife.” Maggie said with demure.

  “Drop the phony charm!” Ray screamed turning to face Maggie with squinted fiery eyes, his lips drawn tight and pale. “I’ve been duped by you and your socialite slut of a mother.”

  “You leave my mother out of this you backwoods son of a of bitch!” Maggie yelled, flying across the room with an open hand ready to slap the man she had married barely twenty four hours ago. Before she could make contact Ray grabbed her arm and shoved her back onto the bed. Straddling her he pinned Maggie to the mattress and holding her thin wrists with one hand he managed with his free hand to unzip his pants.

  “What are you doing?” she cried but her voice was soon muffled by his half limp salty penis.

  “Shut up whore.” Ray grunted pressing his scrotum against her chin. “I told you to watch your mouth. But whores like a dirty mouth don’t they?” Maggie tried to push the foreign object out of her, ramming at it with her tongue but she felt it growing as he groaned, “Yeah, I knew you’d like that. Your tongue feels good.” Maggie stopped pushing not only to discourage the vulgar attack but because she found herself chocking on the semen gushing at her throat.

  Ray climbed off of her, stepped out of his britches and nonchalantly announced,

  “I think I need a shower now.”

  Maggie curled up in a ball and sobbed.

  The question of virginity had never come up during their courtship. Though Maggie knew it was considered taboo by the older generation for a belle to have sex outside of marriage it wasn’t true of her generation. Just because they didn’t discuss it didn’t mean they didn’t do it. Maggie, along with several of her friends had sacrificed their maidenheads during spring break their junior year of high school with the beaus they were promised to the year before. The promises were not kept and Maggie soon moved to a quaint New Orleans apartment to attend LSU’s nursing program just as her mother had planned.

  “Don’t get too close to the doctors.” Mrs. Turner had warned, “I’ve got better plans for your future child.”

  “I’m no longer a child Mama.” Maggie had told her. Mrs. Turner was good at reading between the lines as she studied the appearance of her young daughter who was now a woman.

  “Turn around.” Mrs. Turner said. Maggie done as she was told and cringed as her mother ran her palms over the outline of Maggie’s hips.

  “When did you become active?” Mrs. Turner inquired. She didn’t have to explain the question; Maggie knew that she was referring to her having lost her virginity.

  “Spring break in South Padre.” Maggie announced shyly.

  “Good lord, with that white trash Doug Delaney!” Mrs. Turner exclaimed then quickly added, “Doesn’t matter now. It’s done. Have there been any since?”

  “No Ma’am.” Maggie told her.

  “Do you get the urges?” Her mother continued.

  “Not really.” Maggie lied but Mrs. Turner could tell by the blushing and lack of eye contact as she turned Maggie to face her that her daughter wasn’t being honest.

  “Well there may come itches that you can’t scratch on your own. If you just absolutely must have a man to scratch it for you make darn sure he wears a raincoat, do you understand me?” Maggie nodded yes to let her mother know she comprehended.

  “And never under any circumstances are these indiscretions to be known. That is important Maggie if you are to retain a respectable husband. I am not asking you to lie but that sort of personal information must remain that – personal!”

  Maggie completely understood what her mother was telling her and she suffered only one itch that required a man during her last year of college and Doug Delaney didn’t mind doing the scratching. He came as soon as she called and left as soon as it was finished per Maggie’s request and never told a soul.

  Despite Mrs. Turner’s opinion of Doug he was a gentleman where it counted.

  “So how many before me?” Ray asked.

  Maggie hadn’t heard him come out of the shower and now he was standing over her in a plush white robe that made his face seem more hardened and red than usual.

  “Just one.” Maggie sniffled.

  Chapter 10

  The Honeymoon is Over

  “The honeymoon is over.” Ray barked at Maggie.

  “I understand...we can have the marriage annulled if you want.” Maggie told him still lying curled where he had left her, numb and in shock.

  “I’ll decide that.” He spoke in an eerily controlled manner, “What I am trying to make you understand is that I will no longer treat you as the lady I thought I married. No man wants to wear another man’s dirty underwear but you have forced me to. I was assured of your purity- but what I got was soiled hand me downs. You can expect to be treated like used goods because that’s what you are– filthy used merchandise, so expect nothing more.”


  Maggie didn’t answer. She had no expectations; she only wanted to go home.

  Ray paced the floor for a few moments waiting for Maggie to say something, when she didn’t he grabbed the bottle of Ti moonshine that had been sent to their room as a gift from the local senator.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked before downing a glass of Okolehao.

  “The subject never came up.” She mumbled staring at the barely visible stitches in the hem of the bed sheet unwilling to move.

  “Who was it?” Ray asked to another shot of the Hawaiian liquor.

  “Doug Delaney.” Maggie said without pause.

  “A ga-damn grease monkey!” Ray shouted, “You whored yourself out to a ga-damn grease monkey!”

  “It was my junior year of high school.” Maggie replied, finally mustering the courage to unfurl and look him in the eyes.

  Another shot of liquor and Ray continued, “Didn’t have much in the way of expectations back then did you. I mean, my lord Mag – the Delaney’s have always been trash.”

  “They are not trash.” Maggie defended, “They own several automotive repair shops and they are honest, hard working people.”

  Downing the last bit of spirits Ray threw the glass against the wall.

  “You are gonna stand here and defend that piece of shit in front of me? Well I suppose you would being you are a piece of shit yourself!”

  Maggie jumped up, “Now I am standing” she screeched, seemingly unaware of the fact that she was presently standing naked in the middle of the bed.

  “It was years ago Ray! And besides, how many women have you been with, huh?” “That’s different.” He argued, “Society doesn’t hold it against men.”

  “It’s not society holding it against me – it’s you! If there weren’t women to sleep with men-’

  Ray’s hand was over her mouth before she could finish. “Yes there are women for that my dear Maggie and we call them whores.”