Just a Memory

by Lois Carroll

  “You’re getting careless, Mac.” Harry’s voice sounded coarse, hardly more than a grumble, but Mac never heard it as he steered his car away from the curb. Harry’s nose twitched as he laughed.

  Whipping a U-turn on the deserted street, he followed Mac all the way to the Lakehaven Police Station, his beady black eyes never softening.

  He parked down the block where he could see the station door. Cursing the console between the seats that got into his way and prevented him from stretching out sideways, he settled in to wait.

  When the Saturday came for the black-tie dinner, Carolyn dressed early enough for Terri to see how she looked before she took her small suitcase with her overnight things and headed next door for an overnight stay. When Mac arrived a little before she expected him, she thought he looked unbelievably handsome in his black tuxedo. Susan was right. He was a hunk and he oozed self-confidence.

  Despite the cold snap, Mac had left his coat in the car. She admired his broad shoulders and followed the sleek shawl lapel lines of the suit to the single button at his narrow waist and across his hips, down his long legs to the black patent-leather shoes on his feet.

  “Mac, you look very handsome.”

  “It was this or a full-dress uniform, which I don’t own, so you get me in black.”

  “You look like the suit was made for you.” Her voice sounded mousy to her and suddenly she felt very frumpy. Five minutes ago she thought she could pass as looking fairly attractive. Unable to afford a dress she thought appropriate, she’d made herself a velvet suit with a fitted jacket and a skirt that flared above her ankles. Her hair was pinned up in a more sophisticated style than the crown of curls she wore most of the time.

  She’d thought she would at least be able to blend in for the evening, but not now. This startlingly handsome man should have a stunningly beautiful woman on his arm, she thought.

  “You look beautiful,” he said softly. “And I like the eye shadow. I’ve never seen you wear it before.”

  “Not much call for eye shadow in Lakehaven.”

  “It makes the pale blue of your eyes stand out even more. Or maybe it’s the reflection of the deep blue of your suit.”

  “Thanks,” she said, feeling her self-confidence go up a notch. “You’d never guess blue is my favorite color.”

  “As of tonight, it’s mine, too. And if I go on to talk about how soft and touchable that suit looks, we may never get out of the house.”

  Carolyn laughed and pulled closed the lapels of her long-sleeved jacket. She buttoned the single crystal button at her waist and noted he was looking at her high-collared white lace blouse. She thought maybe she should have made the camisole top higher when his gaze paused on the shadow between her breasts. She tipped her head down and felt even more self-conscious about how much of the swell of her breasts showed through the lace above the white satin.

  He stepped closer and lifted her chin with his finger. “More than beautiful,” he told her quietly, his gaze locking on hers.

  “You’re being sweet,” she whispered, appreciating the nice things he was saying to make her feel good.

  Mac held her shoulder to stop her. “Carolyn, I meant it.”

  Heat rose across her neck to her cheeks. She wished she wasn’t plagued with blushing like a teenager. She wanted to deny what he’d said, but when she saw the look on his face, all she could say this time was, “Thank you.”

  He squeezed her shoulder gently and smiled. “I came early hoping to catch you before you put on your lipstick.” He leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead. “I’ll have to come even earlier the next time.” Before Carolyn could step away, he kissed the side of her neck beneath her ear. “You smell wonderful, too,” he added.

  “It’s a long drive. Don’t you think we’d better get started?” Carolyn grabbed her coat and got out her new key. “Terri’s gone next door already, so I’m ready to leave if you are.”

  Mac waited below the stoop, holding open the storm door, while Carolyn locked the new deadbolt on the front door. “That’s a good lock. I didn’t remember you had one of those.”

  “I guess your speech about protection against burglars worked. I had it put in this week. It’s so new, though, it’ll take some getting used to. I forget to lock it when I’m in the house.” She shrugged and dropped the key into her tiny shoulder bag while they walked to the driveway. “I added one on the kitchen door as well.”

  She was surprised to see a Lakehaven Police cruiser parked in front of her house. She looked at Mac with a questioning frown.

  “Since we’re representing Lakehaven, this is official business.”

  She nodded. “I’ve never been in a police car before.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he said with a laugh, opening the door for her and closing it after she was in. He’d driven several miles onto the highway by the time he’d explained all the gadgets in the car.

  They laughed about the strange stares they got from the occupants of other cars when they saw a couple in formal dress driving in a police car. Being noticed so much was as new as a freshly-minted coin to Carolyn. She stored away the feelings it aroused in order to savor them when her relationship with Mac was just a memory.

  As it would be sooner or later.

  She pushed that thought away and tried not to dwell on how fleeting and precious her time with him might be.

  At the hotel Carolyn waited in the lobby while Mac drove over to add his car to the special line of police cars from all over the upstate area. She guessed they didn’t let valets drive the cruisers.

  She couldn’t help but grin when she wondered what a passing motorist would think of the lineup of police cars parked at the entrance to the hotel. It would have to be the robbery of the century or the President of the United States inside to warrant such a display.

  She felt Mac’s hand at her elbow and smiled. “I’ll feel very safe here tonight, that’s for sure!” she quipped.

  The dinner was in the ballroom on the second floor. They chose to go up the wide staircase instead of the elevator. After checking their coats on the balcony overlooking the massive lobby, they entered the two-story-high room. On the far side, a row of French doors led to an outdoor balcony. In front of them a small bandstand stood next to an only slightly larger dance area.

  “Is there dancing tonight?” Carolyn couldn’t keep the worry out of her voice.

  Mac looked surprised. “Don’t you like to dance?”

  “I used to love it, but it’s been a very long time,” she said with a quick glance at Mac.

  “Good. Then we’ll be a matched pair out there,” Mac said easily.

  That’s what he thought. How could she tell him she hadn’t danced since she was in college? Richard hadn’t liked to dance, hence they never danced. She wasn’t allowed more time to worry, however, because they came to the front of the line waiting to enter. A white-jacketed waiter pointed to the table corresponding to the number on their invitation.

  They found their places and stood for a time while others found their assigned seats. With most of the men wearing tuxedos and the women wearing cocktail dresses, she couldn’t tell who were police officers and who were guests. Introductions were exchanged with others at their table. Someone testing the microphone called their attention to the dais where someone else asked everyone to sit and then introduced the people at the head table so dinner could begin.

  The conversations at their table were mostly within couples as they ate. The table of ten people was so large that conversation across it was difficult. The master of ceremonies rose from the head table during dessert and made motions of being near to starting the after dinner program. Carolyn figured it was now or never, or at least now or much later, to make her escape to the ladies’ room. She excused herself and walked through the tables to the hall where she joined the familiar line.

  She was near the end of her wait when she heard the emcee over the loudspeaker in the ballroom begin the program. The women emptie
d the room with greater speed then, and the line seemed to move in all at once.

  While she was in her cubicle, she heard two women talking breathlessly. “I told you we should have come sooner. We’ll miss part of it now.”

  “Chill out,” her companion responded as she slammed the door to her cubicle. “We’ll get there. Hey, did you see the gorgeous dude behind you? Artie says he’s the new Chief of Police in Lakehaven. We’ll have to drive over there and do something naughty if there’s a chance he’ll be the one to pick us up.” She laughed.

  “Hey, you got the nerve to see if he’ll dance with you after the program? He can’t be that interested in the woman he’s with. Her dress is okay, but she’s so old. She’s got to be thirty if she’s a day.”

  Carolyn stood with her fingers on the door latch but couldn’t open it for a moment. They were talking about Mac and her. She fully agreed with their assessment of Mac and smiled at the one they’d given on her. They’d called her old, but had shaved four years off her age while doing it.

  As she slipped back into her chair beside Mac, she looked over his shoulder at the women she’d just overheard. They appeared to be in their mid-twenties and looked back at her. Boldly she smiled at them as she deliberately slipped her arm through Mac’s bent elbow.

  “Miss me?” she whispered to his face inches from hers in a plainly seductive way.

  He only replied “Mm-hmm,” but the look on his face spoke volumes. She liked his looks. He put his other hand over hers and they reluctantly turned their attention to the emcee.

  The retiring chief got his roasting in short humorous speeches from the men and women in his department. He was given a fluted round silver platter with an appropriate engraving to mark the occasion.

  When the applause died down, the small dance band began playing. Carolyn leaned over the table to take another drink from her sweaty water glass. She set the glass down and almost jumped when Mac leaned over and spoke into her ear.

  “Want to dance?”

  “Love to,” she heard herself answer without thinking. She prayed all the way to the dance floor she wouldn’t step on his patent-leather-covered toes.

  Several guests crowded onto the small dance area. Carolyn didn’t mind the little space available to them because it meant there was no room to do any wild gyrating dancing–the kind she didn’t know how to do.

  Mac held her right hand close against his chest and caressed the back of her waist with his other hand. Her temple rested against his jaw, her left hand behind his neck. Carolyn felt wonderful, dancing with the tall man. She felt more feminine, but maybe it wasn’t just because of his height.

  “I like your perfume. You’ve got some right here.” Mac kissed just behind her ear.

  The band slipped from one song to the next and most of the dancers remained on the dance floor. Carolyn was having trouble with the fact that Mac was nibbling on her ear off and on as they danced. Frissons of excitement skittered up and down her spine. He didn’t seem to remember they were on a public dance floor with dozens of people around them.

  “Mac, I don’t think you should do that anymore,” she told him, feeling quite breathless despite dancing slowly.

  “What? What did you want me to stop? Was it this?”

  He kissed her ear above her earring and touched the hollow with his tongue. The slow set ended just then and the leader immediately introduced the next faster set. With a look and a smile, Carolyn and Mac silently agreed to sit this one out.

  “Something cold to drink, or maybe to pour over my head, would be good about now,” she told him as they walked off the dance floor. She loved the laugh her comment elicited.

  Instead of walking around the tables back to their own, Mac stopped and took her elbow. “How about a breath of fresh air first?” She nodded and Mac led her out the French doors to the exterior balcony. The cold air hit them like a solid wall, but it felt good. Strolling to the far corner, which overlooked the street, they surveyed the view.

  “The scenery is breathtaking,” Mac said after a few moments.

  Carolyn laughed at the idea. They were in the city! Wondering what he saw that she didn’t, she gazed up at his eyes to see the direction in which he was looking. She found he was looking directly at her. She shivered visibly.

  “Hey, I don’t want you to catch cold,” he said, sounding concerned. He opened his tuxedo jacket and pulled her against his chest, closing the sides of the jacket around her shoulders and holding them there with his hands on her back. “See? Tux for two.”

  She chuckled with him and nestled her temple against his jaw. Her arms slipped so easily around his waist. She felt his muscles move in his back as he tightened his arms around her. The music floated out to the balcony where they swayed with the rhythm without moving their feet.

  “You feel so good in my arms, Carolyn.”

  She looked up to see his eyes darken with desire.

  “I want to take you home so I can have you all to myself.” His whisper was deep and husky.

  Carolyn saw the desire in his eyes she knew had to be in her own. She nodded because she couldn’t speak. They slowly separated and, with his arm possessively around her waist, Mac guided her in from the balcony and across the crowded room back to their table where they collected their things. Mac’s possessive arm went instantly back around her waist as they headed for the coat check.

  Carolyn couldn’t resist a quick backward glance at the two cats she’d overheard in the restroom earlier. She took particular pride in the looks on their faces as they watched her and Mac leave so soon. Together. Whether they could have worked up the nerve to ask or not, there would be no dancing tonight with the Acting Chief of Police of Lakehaven.

  Mac brought the police cruiser around and picked her up. Carolyn fastened her seatbelt and hugged her coat closed. “I hope it doesn’t take long for patrol car heaters to warm up.” She snuggled as close to Mac as the seatbelt would allow. “It was a nice dinner.”

  “Yeah. There wasn’t anything wrong with the dancing, either. Glad they had slow music.”

  “You’re a good dancer.”

  He laughed. “Can you call that dancing?”

  “Don’t laugh, Mac. It’s been so long since the last time I tried to dance that I didn’t think I could do it at all.”

  “Are you kidding? You made even me look good out there.”

  Carolyn smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt her body succumbing to the warmth, the drone of the motor, and the mesmerizing flashes of the oncoming headlights. She closed her eyes to rest them from the glare. The warmth of Mac’s solid shoulder beneath her head felt so good.

  Mac looked down at her after several miles of silence and saw her eyes were shut. He whispered her name and got no response.

  Oh, Carolyn, you don’t even know how lovely you are. If only…

  He sighed and directed his attention back to the road.

  Chapter Eight

  Comfortable with her asleep at his side, Mac drove through the darkness to Lakehaven. In her driveway, he switched off the car and gently lifted her face with his palm under her chin. He kissed her ever so lightly. “Time to wake up, sleeping beauty.”

  He helped her sleepy fingers free her seatbelt and walked her to the door. Inside, he took off her coat and hung it in the closet while she stretched her arms out in an attempt to wake up. He looked down at her eyes heavy with sleep and pulled her into his arms.

  “You’re taking such good care of me,” she told him as she tucked her fingers under the lapel of his coat. “I’m embarrassed that I fell asleep, but we working mothers tend to nap whenever we can steal a few minutes here and there. It really wasn’t because of the company, I promise.”

  Mac tipped up his head as if testing the idea. “I hadn’t considered that. Thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”

  “Oh, no, it definitely wasn’t you. Would you like a cup of coffee?” she offered. “That should wake me up.”

  He shook his he
ad, his gaze taking in every feature of her face. “Carolyn…” He stopped to drag in a deep breath. “Leaving you tonight is just about the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but…I’m going to leave now.”

  A shriek of pure panic ripped through Carolyn’s blood. Was it over? She’d known it couldn’t last, but… Was it over now? So soon? Too soon?

  He dropped his arms from around her and unbuttoned the crystal button at her waist. Raising his hands inside the jacket across the outsides of her breasts to her shoulders, he lifted the jacket off her arms. She sucked in air through her teeth at the intimate touch. He swung it carefully onto the hall table, then circled her waist with his arms and drew her tightly against his body.

  Mac’s lips descended on hers and there was no mistaking the fiery passion. She raised her arms to circle his neck and thread her fingers through his hair, rising on her toes and opening her mouth to initiate a deeper kiss.

  His hand slid from her back upward so his palm rested on the outside of her breast. He waited a moment to give her the option of breaking away. Instead, she turned slightly into his hand so it cupped her breast. He moaned into her mouth, his tongue diving in to dance with hers. Her breast filled his hand as he squeezed and teased the tip until it was firm.

  “Oh, Mac,” she groaned softly as his hand returned to her lower back to press her against his swelling manhood.

  Her voice, breathless with desire, was nearly his undoing. He wanted to sweep her up into his arms and… And no, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not tonight.

  “You know I want you, darling. And I’d like to think you want me. But it’s not going to happen tonight. Not until you’ve had enough time to be sure. Then when I make love with you, it will be with infinite slowness. You will be wide awake and aware of every wonderful moment.”

  “Mac, I–”

  He lifted her face to his and silenced whatever she’d wanted to say with his light kiss. “Good night, sweetheart.”

  She smiled and smoothed the hairs on the back of his head her hand had ruffled. She turned out of his arms and crossed the hall to the front door. “Good night.”