Her of the Wood

by Veronica Watts

  "Thank you." Now the tears are streaming down her cheeks, and Ailie seems more confused than ever. "You asked the same question you would have if one of us had been a man."

  Ailie's eyebrows are knitted together as she begins to put the pieces together. "You and she couldn't be together because you were both women?" she asks in disbelief, as if it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. "That's why you came here?" Her voice softens to understanding and pity.

  Euodia begins to connect the dots herself, and she is so happy that she doesn't even mind the pity. "There were other reasons, but yes." If Ailie doesn't understand the rules, then that must mean that they don't exist here, that she can be free. She laughs through her tears and falls back onto the ground. Her body feels lighter, her heart more open than she has ever felt before. She can work, and live, and love.

  The minutes speed by as she lets this new outlook settle over her. She's been quiet for some time when Ailie speaks up. "You didn't answer my question."

  Euodia doesn't get up from her resting place, but she looks over. She's been as good as alone for the last few moments, and her entire future has changed. This must be the way her compatriots felt coming into the community. This explains Vaness's rapid change of outlook. Try as she might, Euodia could not remember what Ailie had asked. She can't stop smiling. "I'm sorry. What did you ask?"

  Ailie smiles and there is a bit of a laugh to go with it. That laugh encompasses all the acknowledgement Euodia needs. It tells her that Ailie sees her and that she appreciates the change that has happened. The smile dies down a bit before she speaks. "Why didn't she come with you?"

  Even this can't dull Euodia's joy. She has enough happiness and hope right now to be able to discuss the bad. "Orchid worked in the Tower. She was one of the girls who went out with gentlemen, and her retirement night was coming up. The man that we knew was going to win was atrocious, so I decided to leave and asked her to come with me. Part of me thought she would, but part of me knew she needs the security that that life offers."

  Euodia pictures Orchid in her apartment, getting ready for some party, probably with him. She sees her dressing and pausing, just for an instant to think of Euodia, as she passes a painting in the hallway. "She was a painter, and she could have done this, come here, but she chose not to meet me the day I left."

  Ailie looks back into the fire. Darkness has set in fully now. Euodia can tell there's something going unsaid, but she doesn't have the energy to figure it out. Ailie can tell she's done for a bit. "Why don't you get some rest? I'll watch for a while."

  Euodia thinks about arguing, but she's knows she's going to fall asleep whether she wants to or not, so she says thank you, rolls over, and smiles herself to sleep.

  ELEVEN

  Pink is starting to bleed into the sky when Euodia wakes up; she slept much longer than she'd meant to. Ailie is sitting in almost the exact position she was in when Euodia fell asleep. Ailie doesn't look over as Euodia sits up and stretches. "Let me guess, the first rule of night watch is probably to stay awake." She doesn't realize how good she feels until she starts talking. She's sounds more confident than usual, feels it too. "You okay?"

  Ailie makes that little laugh she's so good at and turns towards Euodia. "That's a role reversal."

  Euodia thinks over the last few days and how things will change now. Now, she is ready to jump into this community with both feet. "Hopefully you won't have to ask me so much anymore."

  Ailie looks more serious than Euodia has ever seen her. It's not lack of sleep. She napped yesterday to be ready for the night, and she's used to night watch. It doesn't look like fear exactly, but a smaller kind of worry, or wariness, like a person waiting to be told no. "Can I ask you something else?"

  "Of course." Euodia knows that Ailie didn't make the rules, that she's not the person immediately responsible for the freedom she's feeling this morning, but she still feels like she owes her, and when she looks into her eyes, she wants to give her everything.

  "You seemed afraid to tell me about Orchid." Euodia waits for the question. It's a quick add on. "Why?"

  Everything runs through Euodia's head at once, all her years in the city. She watched people reassigned because of who they loved. She watched them being shunned by their families and the other workers. Most ended up living on the street, traveling around the edges, looking for a place where nobody knew them, but eventually, the rumors always caught up. "I was afraid I would have to leave." It's as simple and as honest as she can make it, but Ailie looks like she's waiting for more. Euodia takes a bite of an apple she brought and passes it over. Ailie takes it and smiles. She's not angry, but she isn't happy either. She bites the apple and passes it back. Her fingers touch Euodia's for a moment, and she drops the apple into her outstretched hand.

  Euodia doesn't pull her hand back. She's trying to figure out if she's imagining Ailie's shallow breathing and the jolt she felt just before the apple dropped. Years of unused bravery have piled up, and her newly found confidence stretches to her mouth. "And I was worried about you." Ailie turns to her. "About what you would think."

  The smile starts slowly, just in the corners of Ailie's mouth, but it spreads quickly, and every ounce of Ailie's poise returns. She takes the apple back from Euodia, ignoring the fact that she hasn't had another bite yet. She takes as big a bite she can and returns the apple. This time, her hand lingers.

  When they return from their watch, Euodia goes back into rotation. Her first outing is with Hana. Euodia has to keep herself from asking questions about Ailie. Thankfully, Hana is a talker, so she holds up most of the conversation, that is when they're not stalking potential prey. The rest of the group is friendly. They ask simple questions, and Euodia answers. She doesn't screen those answers, she just talks, and she can feel the rest of the group becoming more comfortable with her as she becomes more comfortable with them.

  A few weeks later, before a shift, she meets up with the crew she came in with for lunch. It was Callie's idea. She felt that they weren't seeing each other enough since they got their assignments and wanted to catch up on everyone. No one had any big news. The most interesting development since they arrived is that Norten and Vaness have become a couple, but they had all heard about that the first week. As soon as Norten had recovered from his mushroom experiment, they had moved into a tent together, as sure a sign of a couple as any in Solace.

  Everyone seems to be enjoying their assignments. They all twitter on about what they're learning and whom they're spending time with. Euodia mostly listens, but occasionally she asks questions. Rayne smiles and nods, but he doesn't offer more than that. One by one, or two by two, they head off to go back to work or to rest. Callie and Euodia are the last two at the table.

  As Jenson makes his way back to the kitchens, Callie moves down the bench towards Euodia. It's not a slide; Callie isn't spry enough for that, but she shuffles over until she's close enough to talk comfortably. Then she reaches back over and pulls her water down to her new spot, looks at Euodia, and smiles. "You've been rather quiet today. How are things?"

  Euodia knows she is smiling, probably more than she should be, but she doesn't want to jinx anything. She and Ailie get a very limited amount of time together. It isn't anything official, just flirting, and she's afraid sometimes when she sees how friendly Ailie is to other people, that she's made it all up in her head. "I'm good. I'll start watch duty on my own next week, and I'm going to start learning how to shoot tomorrow." It's obvious what weapon she means. Bows and knives are the only weapons here. No one is reassigned with weapons. "How about you? I'm sorry I haven't been to visit." She really is. She felt a strong connection to Callie in the woods, but when they reached Solace, she got too wrapped up in her assignment, and if she's being honest, in Ailie.

  Callie shakes her head with a genuine smile. "No, no, you're busy." There's a twinkle in that smile. She knows more than she's letting on. "I made you something. Would you come with me to see it?"

  Euodia cl
ears their plates and follows Callie to the large building next door. She enters to see that the building is split down the middle. It looks like a work area on one side and a sleeping area on the other, with a hallway inside that leads right into the dining hall. That explains why Euodia hasn't seen Callie or Jenson out and about. The sleeping space is large, but that makes sense since none of the beds are bunked.

  Callie leads her to the large room on the right. It's lined with tables and chairs like the dining hall, but there are groups scattered around working on different projects. She sees some older men basket weaving. Some of the food prep is going on in the back corner, where this room butts up to the kitchen. The people there, including Jenson, are laughing and talking as they work.

  There are some younger members of the community spread out here and there, but Euodia assumes that they only come here to work and probably go back to different homes at night. The table that has the most younger people is where Callie stops. She introduces Euodia and tells her these people make clothes and blankets. Everything is done by hand, she says, so it takes a while.

  A dark-haired woman with a sweet face speaks across the group. "It takes a while for most of us. Callie here whips things out as needed. We're lucky to have her."

  She can tell they are not just being kind, and she feels better about not being able to keep up with Callie's mat weaving skills. Callie shushes her, embarrassed, and leads Euodia to some shelves on the wall. She reaches up high above her head, stretching onto her tiptoes, and pulls down a beautiful, thick blanket. She hands it to Euodia without a word. Euodia looks at the dark blue material, woven and tied into tassels at the ends. "It's beautiful, Callie."

  "I'm glad you like it." Her tone makes it very clear that this is a gift.

  Euodia protests without thinking. "I don't need a blanket. It's summer. Do you stay warm enough in here? You could use it as extra cushion."

  Callie cuts her off with a shake of the head. "Please." The word harkens back to their second night together in the woods, and it immediately stops Euodia's protesting. "Besides, I already have one. I'm making them for everyone in the group. I'm going to try to have them all done by winter, but this one, this one is yours."

  She isn't making a show of it. The people at the tables nearby won't know anything of what is passing between them, but Callie is making things clear. We're in a new place, and I am in your corner.

  "I don't know what to say."

  That wide smile and those bright eyes tell Euodia everything she needs to hear. "Just say thank you."

  There are tears in their eyes as Euodia leans down to hug Callie. "Thank you."

  Euodia shows up at the outpost expecting to meet Hana for her first bow lesson, but as she turns to exit the equipment shed, her weapon in hand, she runs into a body blocking the door. Her arrows fall to the ground, and Ailie is grinning in the doorway. "Lesson one is stealth."

  Euodia starts picking up her arrows as she speaks. "Well, I guess I failed that. I thought I was with Hana today."

  "I asked her to switch, and I think she knows something is up." Ailie turns around and walks away before Euodia can ask what exactly that is. Her bow and quiver are already on her back, and she's heading to the forest. Euodia catches up as they pass the torch line. "We do target practice outside of the community. We don't fire weapons inside the village circle, even for practice."

  "Makes sense."

  They nod to Hana as they pass the guard line, and when they're almost out of eyesight, Ailie whispers. "Look back."

  She does, and she sees Hana and Ilford kissing by the watch point. She has to tell herself to turn around again, afraid they will see her watching or that she'll trip over a rock. Ailie is smiling sweetly and with mischief. "That's how I knew she would trade. They've been meeting up for a few months. She thinks I don't know."

  They walk in silence for a while. They come up to a small clearing within earshot but out of sight of the river. Ailie leads her over to some of the larger trees on one side of the clearing. She touches them, and Euodia sees that they're scored with arrow marks.

  "Your target." That's all Ailie says before she takes a seat to one side in the grass. Euodia slips her bow from her shoulder as she walks to the opposite side of the clearing. She's watched Hana and Ailie over the last week knowing that her turn was coming. She's watched how they reach up and behind their heads to pull an arrow from the quiver. She does this smoothly. The tip catches a bit coming out of the quiver, but a quick pull loosens. She places the shaft of the arrow on the hold just above her left hand. She finds the target and pulls the string back towards her body. She feels her biceps engage. She feels strong, and she can't help but smile thinking about how she must look. She inhales, releases the breath and shoots the arrow, which goes flying off to the left and lands about five feet away. The tree she was aiming at is at least ten feet past that.

  She looks at Ailie and finds her trying not to laugh. Euodia's disappointment melts away and she lets out a big laugh herself. As if granted permission, Ailie joins in.

  Ailie stands and picks up the arrow that didn't even have the decency to stick into the ground. There is still a smile on her face as she hands it back to Euodia. "You want some help?"

  "Yes, please."

  Ailie stands to Euodia's right. "Face me." She doesn't argue. She turns to Ailie, the tree now squarely on her left rather than cornered. "Your feet both face here. Your head can turn without your body." She winks as if it's a secret. "And you need to breathe."

  "I didn't realize I wasn't."

  Ailie isn't entirely humorless, but she is getting more serious as they head into lesson mode.

  "Does your stance feel strong? Could you stay standing if I pushed you?" In place of an answer, Euodia spreads her feet a little further apart to match her hips. She had to find a strong center of balance to ride some of the elevators in the Tower. Ailie nods her approval. "Good. Now show me how you hold the bow."

  She holds the bow to her left and sets the arrow. "Do you see how your thumb is the only thing behind the bow?" E hadn't noticed this and wondered how much of a difference it could make. "Try turning your hand so that the pad of your palm will take the bulk of the impact. Your hand can hold steady under more strain than your thumb can, so your arrow's less likely to turn. Can you rotate your elbow out for me?"

  Euodia isn't sure what she means. She tries to figure it out by bending her arm and pushing her elbow out, but this brings the bow uncomfortably close to her body, so she knows it can't be right. She looks at Ailie with apology and questioning. The smile is back on Ailie's face, and she walks around to Euodia's left. "Like this." She stretches Euodia's arm back out, and instead of bending the arm, she turns it. "If you leave the hump of your elbow towards the middle, you're likely to hit it, and trust me, that's no fun."

  "Are you telling me you haven't always been a perfect shot?" Euodia looks over her left shoulder just as Ailie leans in. She's looking down the line of the arrow, checking the alignment.

  "Of course I haven't." She stands back, behind Euodia. "Now show me how you draw the bow."

  Euodia does, and the response is immediate. "First, you don't want to use your pinky." She isn't harsh exactly, but there's an edge there that Euodia doesn't quite understand. Ailie must hear it as well because she softens her explanation. "You can use two fingers under the arrow if that's easiest while you learn, but ideally you want things around the arrow back to be as even as is possible. Most of us pull with our index fingers above the arrow and middle and third fingers below. None of them should be touching the arrow."

  Euodia tries to adjust without resetting, but there's no way. She lets the string back in, adjusts her hand, and pulls back again. "What's wrong with the pinky?" She wants to keep things as light as she can.

  Ailie walks back around to the front. "It's too short. It lets go much sooner than the others and causes things to unbalance. Let it hang out with the thumb." She steps forward, putting her hands on Euodia's right ar
m, which has the string pulled taut. "I want you to look at this line here." She runs her fingers from Euodia's elbow to her hand and past the string up towards the sky. "What do you think that's going to do to your arrow?"

  "Shoot it up instead of straight. And here I thought the pull was the one thing I got right." Euodia is getting frustrated with herself, and Ailie can tell.

  "Hey." Ailie's blue eyes catch Euodia's. "You're doing great." Her eyes are the brightest things Euodia's ever seen. She wants to lean forward. For a split moment, she's afraid she is, and when she realizes that she isn't, she's not sure if she's relieved or disappointed. She's starting to think that she should move before she freaks Ailie out, and then it hits her. Ailie isn't moving either.

  Ailie is totally still, and the reassuring smile that matched her raised eyebrows just a moment ago has fallen. She looks uncertain for the first time, like she's waiting for something, and she doesn't know if it's a gift or a threat. Suddenly, Euodia's arm is shaking from holding the bow string taut. They both feel the quiver in Ailie's muscles and jump back from each other and laugh a little nervously. "Sorry," Euodia says. She doesn't specify for what.

  "No, no. I shouldn't have had you hold the bow that long." Ailie takes off her own bow and stands facing Euodia, pulling back with her right hand to show the movement. "You want your elbow higher than your shoulder here. You're not pulling with your bicep, you're using your shoulder, and you want the arrow line to be straight, not slanted." Euodia realigns, and Ailie reaches forward to adjust her, with the lightest touch on her arm. "Try it now."

  She loosens everything up, checks her stance, lifts and draws the bow, and shoots. The arrow doesn't hit the tree, but it's right next to it, planted solidly in the ground. She smiles to herself first and looks to Ailie.