Love & Light

by Michele Shriver

  “No, not at all. We’re going to the Avs game tonight, but we don’t have to leave for a half hour or so.”

  “Sounds like fun,” I say. She and my uncle are big Colorado Avalanche fans and have season tickets to the games.

  “The season’s almost over, and probably no playoffs. Again,” she says. “Anyway, I know you didn’t call to talk about hockey. What’s up? How’s school going?”

  “Pretty good. I had a test today in Psychology, and I think I aced it.”

  “Hey, that’s great!” my aunt says, and I can tell she’s happy for me.

  We talk for a few more minutes about school and my classes before I get to the point of the call. “I met someone. A guy.”

  “Oh!” Alison exclaims. “Do tell.”

  I chuckle at her enthusiasm. She’s only ten years older than me, and sometimes seems more like an older sister than an aunt or maternal figure, which is great. It’d be even better if she didn’t live so far away. “He plays on the school baseball team, and he’s really sweet and smart.”

  “And cute?” my aunt urges.

  “Yes, that too,” I say. “And he asked me out.”

  “Then why on earth are you calling me on a Friday night?” Alison demands. “Please don’t tell me you said no.” I don’t answer right away, and she sighs. “You said no, didn’t you? Oh, Korinne, what am I going to do with you?”

  I sit up and fold my knees underneath me. “I wanted to say yes. Does that count for anything?”

  A lull of silence follows before Alison says, “Yes. It’s progress. It tells me maybe you want to keep living.”

  “Of course I do,” I insist. It’s figuring out how that I struggle with.

  “Good. Then do me a favor. The next time this cute, sweet, smart guy asks you out, say yes, okay? Or better yet, the next time you see him, ask him,” she challenges.

  “Or what?”

  “Or I might just have to fly all the way across the country to give you a kick in the butt,” Alison says, laughing. “Because you know that’s exactly what my sister would want me to do, right?”

  “Yes, I know,” I say quietly. As usual, she knows exactly the right thing to say. “Thanks, Aunt Alison.”

  “The best way to thank me is by doing what I tell you. The next time I talk to you, I want to hear about a date. Got that?”

  “Got it,” I say. We talk for a few more minutes about the weather, my brother and my little cousin, and by the time I hang up, I feel better. My aunt is right about what my mom would want and what I need to do. The next time Landon asks me out, I’m going to say yes. It’s time to start living again.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ~Kori~

  There’s no baseball game this weekend since the team played on Thursday afternoon, but there is practice. Funny how I know these things now. The games, the practice schedule, all of it. I haven’t told Landon if I’ll be at practice, but it’s usually kind of understood by now. I’m sure by showing up for practice all the time now, I’ve probably created the impression that I am dating Landon. All the more reason to take that next step, right?

  Today’s a nice, sunny late-March day, and it feels great to be outside. There are more people in the bleachers today, and I wonder if that’s because it’s the weekend, or the nice weather and the fact that the ream is winning. Either way, I’m not the only one here.

  The pitchers are doing some drills and I spot Landon right away, but he’s so engrossed in what he’s doing he doesn’t glance over this way. I open the bottle of green tea I brought with me and settle in to watch.

  I’m there about twenty minutes when someone else comes and sits down beside me. It’s that Amanda girl, the one who draped herself all over Landon a few weeks ago and wouldn’t even glance in my direction when he introduced us. The one he insisted wasn’t his girlfriend, and now she’s here.

  “Hi,” she says with a smile that seems fake.

  So now she wants to talk to me? Yeah, right. “Hi.”

  “It’s Kori, right?”

  I nod. “Uh huh.” I still don’t know why she’s suddenly interested in talking to me, so she better not expect much from the conversation.

  “I bet you’re here watching Landon practice,” she says.

  “Yes. I’ve been coming for a couple weeks. I’ve never seen you here before.”

  “Oh, you know. So much going on this semester,” Amanda says. “I rushed Delta Zeta and I got in.”

  “That’s nice.” Does she think I care?

  “Anyway, Landon says you’ve been watching his practices and that you even went to a game. I know he’s trying to be your friend, since you’re sick and all.” She looks at me with pity, and I glare at her in return.

  “I’m not sick.”

  “Sure, whatever.” She waves a hand around as if she doesn’t believe me. “I think it’s so sweet of Landon, though, to try to be your friend.”

  Try, as if I’m just a charity case. Exactly what I don’t want to be. “Yes, he’s very nice,” I say, although if what Amanda’s telling me is true, that’s not the case at all. “So are you two seeing each other?” I ask. “Because he said you’re not.”

  “Oh, you know. On again, off again.” There’s the hand wave again. “He’s busy, I’m busy.” She leans closer to me, as if she’s about to share a special secret. “Definitely on again, though, after Friday night. If you get my drift.”

  I get it. I definitely get it. I was too scared and stupid to accept Landon’s invitation, so he hooked up with Amanda. I guess he didn’t want to wait. That’s assuming he was ever interested in me in the first place. “Good for you, then. Congratulations.” I stand up to leave. “Tell Landon I said hi, but I had to leave. If he cares.”

  I can practically feel her gloating as I walk away, but it’s Landon who calls after me.

  “Kori, wait. Where are you going?”

  I turn around to face him. His hair is damp and sweaty from practice, and if it’s possible, he looks even cuter that way, and I hate that I’m thinking that, especially now. “I have to go. Didn’t Amanda tell you?”

  “Amanda? She’s here?” he turns around to look at the bleachers, then back to face me. “Okay, fine. But why would I be talking to Amanda?”

  He looks confused, which only serves to confuse me. “I don’t know. Maybe because you slept with her?”

  ~Landon~

  “What?” My brain’s trying to catch up, process this conversation, but it’s not making much sense. I have no idea why Amanda’s at practice, or why Kori thinks I’d be talking to her, and suddenly, Kori’s accusing me of sleeping with Amanda. All before I’ve had a chance to shower and change out of practice clothes. “What are you talking about?”

  “You. And Amanda. And you sleeping with her.” Kori’s tone is clipped, and I can tell she’s angry, but there’s something else there. She’s not just angry, she’s hurt.

  “She told you that?” I ask incredulously. Kori’s not the only one angry.

  “Not in so many words, exactly,” Kori says. “But she definitely implied it. She said you guys had been on again, off again, but after Friday, very much on again.” She lets out a laugh, but there’s not a trace of humor in it. “Silly me for thinking you were interested in me and would wait until I was ready to go out with you. I’m glad you found someone who moves a little faster. I hope you’ll be very happy together.”

  She stomps off, and I have to run after her. Once I pass her, I whirl around to face her. “Stop, please. Don’t I at least get a chance to explain?”

  “Explain? So it must be true, then.” She sounds defeated, but at least she stopped running.

  Maybe explain was the wrong word, but I have to tell her the truth. “Yes and no.” I rake a hand through my damp hair. “Yes, I slept with Amanda, but not recently. It was months ago.” It wasn’t one of my smartest my moves, and I hope it’s not going to cost me a chance with Kori, but I’m not going to lie to her. “Before I met you, for sure, and only once. I don
’t even like Amanda that much.”

  “And you weren’t with her on Friday?” Kori looks hopeful, like she wants to believe me, and I feel like even more of an idiot, because I’m about to hurt her. All because I wanted to see Randy Collins.

  “I was, but it’s not what you think,” I say, hoping she’ll believe me. “It wasn’t a date. She had tickets to a new comedy act down at Clark Street, someone I’ve really been wanting to see.”

  “So you agreed to go with her.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “Which was probably pretty selfish and jerkish of me, because like I said, I don’t even like Amanda. I like you, Kori. I wanted to be with you on Friday.”

  “But I’m an idiot and I said no.”

  I shake my head. “No, you’re not an idiot.” I don’t want her beating herself up. “You’re not ready to go out with someone right now, and I’m cool with that. I get that. So I’ll wait until you are.” I just hope it doesn’t take too long.

  “I don’t want you to wait,” Kori says.

  “What?” Now I’m more confused than ever. “I thought you said I had a chance.”

  “Yeah, I did. You do.” She smiles. “I don’t want to keep you waiting, though. I can’t keep letting life go by while I stand still feeling sorry for myself. So I’ve decided to embrace life. I’m ready. I’m saying yes if you still want to go out on a date with me. Or better yet, I’m asking you out on one. How about tonight? I think there’s a movie showing at the Union.”

  She’s talking so fast it’s hard for me to keep up. A few minutes ago, she was accusing me of sleeping with Amanda, and now she’s asking me out on a date. I think. “Are you asking me out now?”

  “Yes. So what do you say?”

  “No. I mean yes...but not tonight.”

  Kori frowns. “Do you have other plans?”

  “No. It’s not that. I need time to plan. I don’t want to just take you to see a movie, Kori. I want our first date to be incredible. Unique. Nothing you ever expected.” I’m not sure what that is, but I’m determined to come up with something great.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ~Landon~

  The week passes in a blur in anticipation of my first ‘real’ date with Kori. All week, she’s asked me what we’re doing, and I’ve had to play coy with her. Maybe I’m being silly and I should have just jumped at the chance to see a movie or go to dinner, but Kori is different and that calls for a different kind of date.

  Ever since my mom died and I realized how short and fragile life can be, I’ve tried to live by the motto ‘go big or go home.’ I want to live life to the fullest and make every single minute count. And now I want to show Kori how to embrace life the same way. The best way I know how to do that is to remind her of the beauty of the world, and that’s why I want to take her to the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

  I’ve spent the whole week planning it, then have a last minute freak out the night before that has me calling home for advice. Not from my dad, though. I want to talk to a woman to find out if my idea sounds completely off base, and I’m glad Liz is around. I give her a quick run-down about how Kori finally agreed to go out with me—leaving out the whole Amanda mess—and that I want to make it special.

  “So what do you have in mind?” Liz asks.

  “A hike and a picnic,” I say. “The weather’s supposed to be great tomorrow, and I know Kori likes being outside.” I’ve got a major case of spring fever myself.

  “Hmm. That sounds nice,” Liz says. “There are supposed to be some good trails around Plymouth.”

  There are, and I’ve already hiked a few of them. For this, though, I have something bigger in mind. “They’re okay, but not what I had in mind. I’m taking Kori to Mount Monadnock.” It’s got thirty-five miles of hiking trails, and on a clear day, from the summit of the mountain, you can see as far as a hundred miles away.

  Liz whistles. “Wow, Landon. You don’t do things half way, that’s for sure.”

  “No,” I say. “There’s no point.”

  “What do you need my help with, then? It sounds like you have it all figured out.”

  “Maybe, except for lunch.” This will be an all-day thing, especially if we hike all the way to the summit, and I want to be prepared. “We could always go to one of the restaurants down there, but that may be better for dinner. I think a picnic might be nice for lunch. And romantic.”

  “That sounds lovely,” Liz says.

  “So if my dad was planning a romantic picnic for you, what would you like?” I ask.

  “Me? Crab salad, fresh fruit, especially grapes, and a good bottle of Chardonnay,” she says, laughing. “Which is probably no help to you.”

  “No, not really, seeing how I’m too young to buy wine and operating on a college-student budget,” I say. “Any other suggestions?”

  “Yes,” she says. “Pick up some nice deli sandwiches from that place by campus, and something non-alcoholic that you like to drink, and pack something to keep them cold. Oh, and Landon?”

  “Yes, Mom?”

  “Stop stressing and have a good time. The company matters a lot more than the food.”

  ~Kori~

  I have to hand it to Landon. He sure knows how to keep a girl in suspense. All week, I’ve been trying to get him to tell me what we’re doing or where we’ll be going, and he always just says “You’ll see.” That’s fine, in a way. I’m not opposed to surprises. I would like to have some idea how to dress, though, so I call him the night before to see if I can fish for some information.

  “You have the whole day free, right?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I’ll pick you up about eight.”

  That causes me to do a slight double take. “In the morning?”

  “Yep. We have to drive a little ways to get where we’re going,” Landon says, “and I want to make sure we have plenty of time to do everything.”

  I bite my lip and roll my eyes. Can he be any more vague? Still, he promised something unique that I would never expect, and it’s hard not to get excited about that. It makes me feel like he thinks I’m special. Otherwise, why would he go to such lengths to make the first date special?

  “So where exactly are we going?” I ask. “And what are we doing.”

  “It’s a secret. A surprise,” he says. “I can’t tell you.”

  I sigh. “Fine. I need a hint, though. I’m a girl, after all. I need to have some idea what to wear,” I say. “Should I wear a skirt and high heels?”

  “No!” he says, a little more forcefully than I expect, which piques my curiosity even more. “No heels. No skirt. I mean, I think you’d look great in them, but something more casual would be better. And comfortable shoes. Very comfortable.”

  “Casual. Comfortable shoes. Got it.” That actually helps a lot. “Anything else?”

  “Yes,” he says after a minute. “Make sure you bring a sweatshirt or a jacket. Or preferably both. It might get cold where we’re going.”

  “But you still won’t tell me where that is?” I try again.

  “Nope.” He laughs, like he’s enjoying this. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  “Like at eight o’clock tomorrow morning?”

  “Exactly,” he says, not budging. “I’ll see you then. And Kori?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m really looking forward to spending the day with you.”

  His voice is soft, and causes my heart to do a flutter. “Me too,” I say. “Very much so.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  ~Kori~

  I’ve never been picked up for a date at eight in the morning before. Granted, my prior dating experience is limited to Remy, but this is kind of unusual. I’ll say one thing—college dorms are quiet places at eight o’clock on a Saturday. There’s no one in the downstairs lobby except me.

  I’m there, though. Dressed in jeans and my most comfortable tennis shoes, and a long-sleeve shirt and sweater. I’ve also got a jacket too. I still have no idea what Landon
plans for today, but I’m pretty sure it involves something outside, so I want to be prepared.

  It’s eight on the dot when he walks into my dorm. “Hey,” he says, greeting me with a smile. “Are you ready?”

  “That depends.” I stand up and hold my arms out. “Am I over-dressed or under-dressed?”

  He gives me a look of appraisal. “Neither. You’re perfect.”

  “Oh, I doubt that.” I chuckle a little. I can’t help it. It’s so easy to relax around him. “You hardly know me.”

  “Maybe, but I’ll know you a lot better after today,” he says. “And you look great.”

  His car is parked right out front, and he opens the door for me. “Are you finally going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask. “And why we have to leave so early?”

  “Do you like hiking?” He fastens his seatbelt and starts the car. “I hope so, or I may have to re-plan this whole day on the fly.”

  “No need for that,” I assure him. “I do like to hike, and this should be a good day for it. Where are going? The Heritage Trail?”

  Landon shakes his head. “Nah. A little bigger than that.” He turns his head to the side to face me. “Have you ever been to Mount Monadnock?”

  My mouth drops a little and I’m sure I’m gaping. “We’re going to Mount Monadnock?” That’s definitely bigger than hiking the trails in Plymouth.

  “Is that okay? Have you been there?” he asks again.

  “Never been, no.”

  He grins. “I think you’ll like it, Kori. It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. Really.”

  That’s high praise, but he seems earnest. I’m still a little blown away. He sure wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to make this date something special. “It’s a long ways from here,” I say.

  Landon nods. “About two hours, yeah. That’s why I wanted to leave early. I’ve packed lunch, though, and we’ll have plenty of time to hike to the summit and back,” he says. “Then we can eat dinner at a restaurant down there before we drive back.” He gives me a sheepish smile. “Assuming you can stand spending the whole day with me.”