To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  “So yesterday, I had concluded the story with Eric learning the spell to change into a rock.” She paused, getting her needles in place to begin knitting. “So he had changed into a rock to avoid being captured by Hileina. Erik then waited-”

  She stopped when she heard voices. She scanned her audience to see who was jabbering. Seeing no one in her audience talking, she looked to her left. She exclaimed with glee and rushed to the visitors, letting her knitting project fall onto the floor.

  The crowd groaned at having their story interrupted.

  “I’ve missed ye, Meghan,” Andie said, crying, hugging Meghan.

  Meghan leaned back looking at her friend. “I’ve missed ye too.” She gave Andie a long glance. “Ye’ve changed quite a bit, Andie,” Meghan said, reservedly.

  “Aye, I have,” Andie said, and added, “So have ye!”

  Meghan studied Andie and was worried with the conclusions she’d drawn. Andie looked tired- very tired. She had also filled out, heavily, but her gown seemed to disguise this. Meghan’s eyes didn’t miss much, though.

  “Canna ye nay finish the story, Andie?” Henry begged.

  “On the morrow, my listeners, sorry,” she said, and laughed as they grumbled their good-byes. Andie stepped over to Bryce, smiling widely as she hugged him tightly and affectionately.

  “We had to come under the darkness of night, for safety reasons,” Gabriel said to Andie. Because he spoke only to her, she figured Gavin had known about the visit. That fact alone made it more evident that he couldn’t stomach talking to Andie, or he would have told her about Meghan’s impending visit.

  Gavin stood back, watching Andie. He’d stayed away from her for too many months. Actually, for three months, two weeks and one day- and that had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. He knew, though, that his presence upset her. Seeing her become more and more withdrawn since Meghan’s departure, had made him understand that she blamed him for Meghan’s parting. Everytime he neared her, they had fought and exchanged snide remarks, and he had finally understood why. His presence had a negative affect on her. Just his mere presence upset her. So, as to not make her upset, he left her alone. He had been thankful that at least she had Riley’s company.

  “We must talk. Come,” Andie said, leading her upstairs.

  “Aye, that we do,” Meghan agreed.

  The men stayed behind looking at the women, who made no apologies for their rude and abrupt departure. A smiled tugged on Gavin’s lips and Gabriel outright laughed.

  “By the way, hello Gabriel. Marriage agrees with ye,” Andie said, stopping at the top of the stairs.

  Taken aback by Andie’s changed appearance, he nodded his head and smiled at her words. “Aye, Andie, it does agree with me. And hello to ye, too.”

  Gabriel, Gavin, and Bryce sat at the table. Charlie, hearing that Bryce had arrived, came in and sat at the table.

  “What is the matter with Andie, Gavin?” Gabriel asked. Bryce was eager to hear the answer, for he’d noticed a difference in Andie as well.

  “I’ve nay idea what ye speak of. She looks the same.”

  “Nay, she looks tired. She’s pale,” Bryce said. “She seems to have filled out a bit.”

  “I doona know. I doona speak to her and she doesna speak to me.”

  Both stared blankly at him.

  “So, in summation, ye’ve abandonded her,” Gabriel accused.

  “I’m nay discussing this, damn it. Andie and I doona agree on much and anything said angers the other, so ‘tis best that we remain separate.”

  The men let it pass and discussed the business at hand- the McArylls and Alistair McBride. The women, meanwhile, caught up with their own news.

  “So what is wrong with ye, Andie?” Meghan asked as soon as she entered Andie’s chamber. She didn’t beat around the bush.

  “Meghan, nothing is the matter. I’ve told ye, I am just tired and since ye’ve been gone, I’ve been sad. Riley has been my only companion throughout the days, weeks, and months. I thank the Lord for him. ‘Tis any wonder why Gavin lets him around me.”

  “Why do ye say that?”

  “Because Gavin hates me.”

  “Oh, no he doesna!”

  “Aye, he does.”

  “Why d’ye say that?”

  “He never wants to be around me, Meghan, and when he does, ‘tis only because his itching needs scratching. Well, I can tell ye that I havena scratched his itches in months. I willna again, either.”

  Meghan laughed. “Oh, Andie, ‘tis not so. He cares for ye. Both Gabriel and I believe that.”

  Andie shook her head. She explained to Meghan what had transpired the day after she had left to Gabriel’s holding.

  “Oh, Andie, they were just words flung at you. He doesna have lovers,” Meghan said, disbelieving.

  “Aye he does, Meghan. We havena been together since he was ill.”

  “Andie! Would ye please cease that talk? Gavin cares for ye deeply. If he hated ye as ye said he does, why would he allow his son to accompany ye so often?”

  “Meghan, quit being so naïve. He allows it because he knows Riley enjoys my company and so he does it for his son, nay me.”

  “Oh, I can see that we willna be agreeing on this issue, so let us talk of other things. There have never been pretty, ungenuine words between us, so I’ll just say it- what have ye been eating and why do ye look like death is at yer door?”

  Instead of being insulted, Andie laughed so hard she had to sit for fear of tumbling over. Meghan also did the same.

  “I was fixing to ask ye what ye had eaten as well!” Andie chirped between fits of giggles. “Ye look like ye’ve gained much weight!”

  “Aye, I have. Ye will be an auntie, Andie!” Meghan said, unable to contain her excitement.

  “Nay, ye lie!” Andie said, surprised.

  Meghan shook her head. “I am expecting! Canna ye nay believe it!”

  “So soon! Are ye disappointed?”

  “Oh, nay! I am verra excited.”

  “And Gabriel? What about Bryce?”

  Meghan’s smile broadened. “Gabriel’s verra excited as well. He fairly marches on air, and if ye doona believe me, watch him. As for my father, he is verra happy! He canna wait to have a grandbairn. Oh, Andie, I am so verra happy. Gabriel told me he loved me!”

  “Before or after ye told him ye were carrying?”

  “Before.” Meghan stopped and looked at Andie for a long pause. Meghan feared that perhaps Andie wasn’t as happy as Meghan was about her news. “Are ye nay happy for me, Andie?”

  Andie looked at her friend and smiled, shaking her head. “I am so verra happy for ye, Meghan. This is all wonderful news and I canna wait to see my neice or nephew. Did ye tell Gabriel that ye love him?”

  “Oh, aye! He told me he loved me the night I told him about my condition. He had worried me into a frenzy! That night, he sat down before the hearth in our chamber and said, ‘Meghan, I’ve something important to discuss with ye. Something verra serious.’ And I almost fainted. Well, I almost fainted again, for I had nay been feeling well weeks before I knew about the bairn. He had been worried as well, knowing that some of the clansfolk there were ill. I fainted many times, and in fact, my appetite doubled. Yes, and-”

  “Meghan,” Andie interrupted, grabbing her hands, “Please doona get lost in the conversation. Tell me what else he said.”

  Meghan laughed. “Oh, yes...well…he said that he had something verra important to say to me. He was so serious, Andie! His face had nay a smile, and some of his wrinkles showed. He had a fierce frown on his face. ‘Twas absolutely horrible! I began tearing up. He rushed to me and said to calm down. I was almost in despair, believing that I had been the only one in the marriage happily wed. I thought he was going to tell me that he was unhappy and mayhap seek a mistress,” Meghan said, chokingly. Tears sprang to her eyes remembering.

  Andie gave her a handkerchief and told her to continue. Meghan blew her nose and wiped, before continu
ing.

  “So, there I was believing that he was going to tell me that he was unhappy right before I was going to tell him about a baby. He tried to soothe me and I was inconsolable. Then he said how he was making a muck out of everything. He said, ‘Meghan, doona cry, my love. I am so sorry I am making ye cry. ‘Tis just that the last few weeks with ye nay feeling so verra well have made me verra concerned. The last few weeks have also made me realize that I canna keep my feelings to myself anymore.’” Meghan gave a long pause, with a broad smile. She looked so cute, Andie began laughing. Meghan then said, “So I began to cry hysterically. I told him that he need not say another word for I understood. I understood that he wanted a mistress. Oh, Andie, ye should have seen his face! He looked murderous. He stood up and roared, ‘A what?’”

  Meghan stopped here, for Andie’s giggles had infected her as well. Meghan fell down on her back on Andie’s bed and laughed until tears fell. Andie was in much the same condition. After gathering a lungful of air, Meghan began again.

  “So I repeated that he wanted a mistress. Andie, he began banging his head on the stone wall!” Again, another fit of giggles. “So he stopped me and said, ‘Meghan, I’ve nay idea where ye got that idea in yer head, but ‘tis nay true! Meghan, I wanted to tell ye that I love ye!’ Oh Andie, I threw myself into his arms and he swung me around. And then I said, ‘Oh, Gabriel, ye gave me a fright. I was fearing ye were going to tell me ye were unhappy and wanted a mistress. And all this on the eve of my news!’”

  Meghan looked at the ceiling, and Andie closed her eyes, envisioning the scene.

  “He then asked what news it was. I rambled, with tears and an overabundance of joy, ‘I love ye and that I’m carrying our bairn. And when ye came in with a serious face with serious news, I thought ye were going to tell me ye were unhappy. And all this before I was going to tell ye of the bairn!’ Oh, Andie, his face went pale! ‘A what?!’ he roared,” Meghan paused as Andie and her laughed again.

  “I told him, ‘I’m carrying.’ I began to cry again when I saw his serious face. I thought he was disappointed and said as much. He cursed violently and picked me up tenderly, and gingerly placed me on the bed. ‘How could ye think that I would be disappointed? How could ye let me toss ye about, Meghan! I could’ve harmed ye and the bairn.’ Oh, Andie, it was so wonderful. He had this wondrous look upon his face. I saw tears just before he blinked them away. Can ye nay believe it? As young lasses, we had dreamed about marrying and carrying, and our husbands’ responses to those events.”

  “Yes, I remember verra well.”

  Meghan sat up all of a sudden. She peered down at Andie, and frowned. “So, what is wrong with ye? Ye’ve still to tell me why ye’re storing food for the winter in yer hips and why ye look as if ye’ll die on the morrow.”

  Andie gave a small laugh and sat up as well. “Oh, Meghan,” Andie sighed. “I doona know why I’ve gained so much weight. I eat, ye know, but then I grow so ill, and I vomit.”

  Meghan eyed her suspiciously. “Why?”

  “Because I think about Gavin’s loathe for me. And then I think about my love for him. I love him him about as much as he hates me,” she said shakily. Meghan placed her arms around her and Andie placed her head on Meghan’s shoulder. “Oh, Meghan, I’m so sorry! Ye’re so happy and here I am ruining it,” Andie said on the brink of hysteria. “I am such a mess!”

  Having never seen Andie so miserable, Meghan grew alarmed. She looked so sad, forlorn, and hopeless. What scared Meghan the most was that Andie looked lifeless.

  “Nay! Get it out. Let me help ye, that’s why I’m here,” Meghan whispered fiercely, hugging her tighter.

  “Oh, Meghan, I am just so sad! I doona know what to do! I eat and when I think about Gavin hating me, the food comes up and I retch. I doona have any stamina anymore. Just walking makes me tired.”

  “But ye were nay like this after I left, were ye?”

  “Well, I was verra sad but I was eating heartily and feeling the best I’ve ever felt. It was a few weeks ago that I began feeling like this. ‘Tis as if something in my stomach is not making me feel well. Even knitting while I tell the nightly story makes me weak. I feel so miserable and so alone,” Andie whispered in a choke.

  Meghan just soothed her friend and let Andie cry. “I’m so sorry ye are so sad. I willna go back, Andie. I will stay here.”

  Andie shook her head adamantly. “Nay, ye mustn’t do that, Meghan. Ye’ve a life now as a married woman, and a family soon. I think it’s just that I’ve nay had a chance to mourn my family’s death. Then I realized I’ve made a mess of my life. Nay, doona shake yer head, ‘tis the truth! I slept with a mon I who doesna love me, who I am not married to. Then I figured out that he hates me a moment before I realized I love him.”

  Andie’s voice was raw and shaky. She sighed.

  “Andie, I doona think that- What! What’s the matter?” Meghan said, wiping the tears away to see Andie clearer. “What?” Meghan repeated.

  Andie placed her hand over her stomach and rubbed. “‘Tis my stomach, Meghan. Again, ye see? I’ve eaten something nay good and my stomach is upset. It’s all this talk about Gavin.”

  Meghan gave her a look. Andie lifted her eyebrows. “What?”

  “How exactly do ye feel?”

  “Well, almost as if I have flutters in my belly. I belch a lot and I think ‘tis that. And I eat, but retch when I think of Gavin. Hmmm…I sleep a lot and weaken easily, as I’ve told you.”

  Meghan laughed so hard that she dropped down on the bed again. Andie looked disgruntled. “Meghan, I doona want ye crying over me, but I doona believe that laughing is a response I wanted either.”

  “Oh, Andie, this is fabulous! Fabulous!”

  Andie was positively irritated. Her friend was behaving so unusually insensitive. Must be the bairn. Bairns had a tendency to addle the brains of their expectant mothers.

  “Fabulous indeed! Meghan, ‘tis not the response I need. If this is how a woman acts when she’s carrying, I’m nay sure I want to ever carry!”

  This made Meghan laugh harder. Tears flowed freely from her eyes and Andie grew more aggravated by the minute.

  “Meghan?” she tried saying here and there, but still her friend could not stop laughing.

  “Oh, Andie. Ye are so dense! Ye arena sick. Ye doona retch because ye think of Gavin.”

  Andie’s mouth opened. She shut it and gave her friend a curious leer. “Meghan, this bairn has affected yer head.”

  Meghan found this funny and Andie waited for her to gain control again. Meghan coughed and continued. “Andie, ye are nay sick. Ye are carrying as well!”

  Andie’s jaw dropped at the same rate of quickness her brows rose. “Surely, ye jest!” Andie fell back down on the bed again. “It canna be,” she said, as if winded.

  “Aye, it can!”

  Andie thought of it and the more she did, the more she realized that Meghan was right.

  “I doona understand!”

  Meghan laughed. “Andie, I doona think I need to explain the workings of it, do I?” Meghan continued, when Andie gave her a scornful look. “Alright. When was yer last monthly?”

  “Oh dear, ‘tis been a long while. Not since before Alistair murdered my family.”

  “Did ye nay ask yerself why?”

  “Well, I believed that it was all the events and the burdens on me that caused my monthly to stop its flow. I assumed that it was the anxiety and strain. ‘Tis a common cause of missing a woman’s monthly, ye know.”

  “Aye, I know, but ‘tis not yer cause.”

  Andie paused for a moment, biting her nails. “Oh dear Lord! What am I to do?” Andie said, going into a fit of tears.

  “We’ll have the bairns near to each other and raise them together! How wonderful!”

  “Wonderful? The mon hates me and I’m having his bairn! We arena married and he’s stated he doesna wish to marry again nor have any more bairns!”

  “Andie, calm yerself. It will all work itself over.
How far along do ye believe ye are?”

  “Well, the last time we were together was over four months ago, when he had lung fever. He never finished in me before then but when he was ill, he didna pull away. It was then,” Andie said in wonder, and placed her hands over her swelling belly. The butterflies returned as if magic. She laughed.

  “What?”

  “I felt the butterflies again. It feels so whimsical, so fluttery.”

  Meghan nodded, touching her own belly. “I’ve nay experienced that as of yet, but I canna wait. ‘Tis an amazing thing. How wonderful to experience this together.”

  Andie looked at Meghan. “Ye canna tell Gavin, Meghan. Ye must promise me.”

  “Andie, ye canna hide this forever. Ye show already and yer tummy is verra large for only four and a half months. He just believes ye are gaining. Soon, it will be more obvious.”

  “And I’ll tell him but nay now. I know not what I can do.”

  “I willna tell Gavin, Andie, I promise ye.”

  Andie sighed and yawned. A knock sounded on the door. Meghan walked towards it and opened it. Gabriel was there and she exclaimed in glee, hugging him. He smiled and enveloped her in his arms.

  “Are ye ready to settle in the chamber?” he asked, and looked at her teary face. He looked over to Andie’s teary face. He had the good-sense not to ask about it now, even though he wanted to know what had upset his wife.

  “Nay. We were-”

  “Yes, Meghan. Ye are expecting and need yer rest. I willna hear anything to the contrary, so do stop shaking yer head.”

  “Listen to Andie, sweeting. Ye need yer rest.”

  Meghan looked at Andie and gave her a fierce frown. “Fine. I shall be here tomorrow morning, early, to be with ye. And this time,” she said, looking firmly at Gabriel, “Ye will be told when we are leaving. As a matter of fact, I will be told when we are leaving.”

  Andie smiled and laughed. “Good night,” she said, walking over to her to give her one last hug for the night.

  “Good night, Andie. Rest, for ye need it as well.”

  With that, Andie closed the door and changed into a nightgown. She stood in front of the looking glass and looked at herself. She placed her hands over her belly, smoothing out the fabric over her tummy. Frowning for a fraction of a second, she slowly smiled at her reflection.