Happy Campers

by Karen D. Badger

  Cat smacked Billie’s arm. Billie stuck her tongue out at Cat and wiggled it around as she raised her eyebrows up and down.

  “Ahh!” Cat exclaimed. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Well...” Billie began.

  “Never mind. Never mind. Forget I asked. Sheesh,” Cat groaned.

  Billie caught Fred’s eye and winked.

  “Well, time for bed,” Fred said. He rose to his feet and grabbed the thick stick they were using as a poker and spread out the glowing embers inside the fire ring while Billie slowly poured half a bucket of water over them. Soon the fire was out, and the campers were on their way to bed.

  As soon as they entered their tent, Cat turned on the lantern and then pounced on Billie, rolling her onto her back on the sleeping bags. She lay directly on top of her, nose-to-nose, and looked deep into Billie’s eyes. “You, my love, are a big tease. You had Fred so hot, he couldn’t wait to get Jen into their tent.”

  “He couldn’t possibly be as hot as I am for you right now,” Billie growled. She pulled Cat’s mouth down to hers for a toe-curling kiss, which deepened as she rolled her over and pressed her firmly into the air mattress beneath them. Billie was so inflamed, she tore impatiently at Cat’s clothes. “Cat, I want to feel you against me.”

  “Wait. Turn the lantern off. The entire campground can see our silhouette through the tent,” Cat exclaimed.

  Billie fumbled for the lantern and quickly turned it off, then returned to disrobing her wife. Between the two of them, they had Cat’s clothes off and thrown into the corner of the tent in record time. Billie trapped Cat in place with her body as she kissed and nipped at her neck, causing her to writhe in agonizing desire.

  Cat pulled roughly at Billie’s clothing. “I need you, Billie. Please.”

  Just as Cat managed to drag Billie’s T-shirt over her head, they heard a noise outside their tent. Both women froze.

  “Mama?” the voice said. “Mama, I’m scared.”

  The sound of the zipper set both women into action. Billie quickly pulled her T-shirt over her head, and then helped Cat locate her own shirt and panties. By the time the zipper was totally opened, Cat had her drawers in place and the two women were lying side by side, attempting to act casually. Had the intruder been anyone but a child, they would have noticed the flush on their faces and desire in their eyes.

  Cat sat up. “Skylar, honey. What’s wrong?”

  “I’m scared. I can hear funny noises.”

  “Sky, they’re just crickets. They won’t hurt you. They can’t even get into your tent,” Billie explained. “Come on, I’ll take you back and tuck you in.”

  “No.” Skylar began to cry. “I wanna sleep with you. Please?” she begged.

  Billie stared at her daughter. Oh my God! Seriously? She looked at Cat, who returned her pained expression. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she ran her hand through her hair.

  “All right, all right, but only for tonight, okay?”

  “Okay, Mommy,” Skylar chirped happily as she crawled in between them and snuggled against Cat.

  Billie couldn’t resist a smile. Lucky kid, she thought. Out loud, she said, “I’m going to check on the other kids and make sure the girls’ tent is zipped. Be right back.”

  After assuring herself that all was well, Billie went to the bucket of water they kept next to the fire ring and reached in with both hands. She pulled up a large double handful of water to splash over her heated face. Suddenly, she heard low moaning sounds coming from the direction of Jen and Fred’s tent.

  Great! This is going be a long night, Billie thought as she headed back to her tent.

  Chapter 13: Your Sword In My Service

  Cat woke the next morning to find Billie missing and Skylar sprawled out on top of her. Cat smiled at her daughter. You are so sweet. It actually makes me want to forgive you for interrupting our fun last night. Cat slowly dislodged herself from beneath the child without waking her and climbed out of the tent. Stretching, she enjoyed the feel of her vertebrae realigning after sleeping on the too-soft air mattress the night before. Jen was already in the process of setting up the camp stove to start breakfast.

  “Good morning, Jen. How did you sleep?” Cat asked as she unzipped and entered the screen tent.

  “Pretty well, once we went to sleep.”

  Cat noticed the pink tinge on her friend’s cheeks. “Got lucky, huh? That makes one of us.”

  Jen raised her eyebrows. “You’re kidding, right? The way Billie was talking last night, we expected you guys to easily drown us out.”

  “Yeah, well, Skylar put an end to any efforts in that arena. In fact, she’s fast asleep in our tent as we speak.”

  “I see. Does she climb in with you often?”

  “No, almost never. I think the unfamiliar sounds of the frogs and crickets scared her. We tried sending her back to bed, but she began to cry, and we didn’t want her to wake Tara and Karissa, so we bit the bullet and let her stay. Needless to say, not a lot happened in the romance department last night, which is unfortunate since things have not been nearly so romantic of late.”

  “Are things okay with you and Billie?”

  Cat ran her hand through her hair. “Yes… and no. A lot has changed since the surgery.”

  “I thought she was regaining her memory.”

  “She has, for the most part, but things aren’t quite the same as they were before.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, Billie isn’t as patient as she used to be. She blows up pretty easily these days. Remember our discussion last night about the mess behind the car after she changed the tire?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that’s because she flew into a rage and literally ripped everything out of the car and threw it on the ground. That’s not something she would have done before the surgery.”

  “I can see why you two are seeing a shrink.”

  “Doctor Connor has been a big help. She recommended this vacation. I just hope it doesn’t backfire and make things worse. Sky crawling in with us last night didn’t help.”

  Jen patted Cat’s cheek. “Don’t lose heart. There’s always tonight.”

  “I sure hope so. I don’t cherish the idea of two weeks with a five-year-old sleeping on my chest.” Cat reached for one of the strawberries that Jen was slicing. “Speaking of Sky, would you mind keeping an eye on her while I run to the showers? I feel like a major grub after traveling for so long yesterday.”

  Jen frowned. “Where’s Billie?”

  Cat looked around. “I’m not sure. She was already gone when I woke up. My guess is that she’s trying to work off some of her frustration from last night.”

  Jen chuckled. “I hear you. Sure, go shower. Take your time.”

  “Thanks, Jen.”

  Cat went back to her tent and collected her toiletries, a towel, and a change of clothes, then set off toward the showers. Before she got more than a few feet up the trail, she saw a familiar figure jogging toward her. Sweat stains darkened the neckline and armpits of her T-shirt, and a sheen of sweat glowed on her bare arms and legs.

  Billie stopped in front of her and jogged in place. “Wait for me, I’ll be right back.”

  “Good morning to you, too!” Cat called after Billie’s retreating form.

  Moments later, Billie met Cat on the trail with a clean towel and change of clothes of her own. She scooped Cat up into her arms and swung her around in a circle, then put her back on her feet.

  “Hey, you’re all sweaty!” Cat complained.

  “So? You’re on your way to the showers, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  Billie backed Cat up against a tree and pinned her there with her own body. “Want some company?”

  “And if I say no?” Mischief danced in Cat’s eyes.

  “Then I’ll have to dishonor my family name by forcing myself upon you, My Lady.”

  “Is that a threat or a promise, fair knight?” Cat teased.
>
  “What would you like it to be, My Lady?”

  “Well, so far you haven’t been very good about keeping your promises, brave knight. I desperately needed your sword in my service last night, and you failed me.”

  “Ah, great lady, but last night’s folly was not my fault. The dragon child intervened. I had no choice but to yield to her power. Will you give me another chance, My Lady?” Billie took a step back and bowed.

  “Give me a moment, and I will consider it.” A split second later, Cat said, “Enough. I have made my decision. To the showers! And when we are through, dear knight, the shower stall had better not be the only wet thing in the room!”

  A grin split Billie’s face. “You have my word, My Lady. My sword will be in your service for as long as you need it. Total satisfaction, great lady, and wetness guaranteed.”

  “And if you fail me again, Sir Charland, you will receive the harshest of sentences.”

  “Pray tell, what might that be, My Queen?”

  “Thirty days of hard labor, chained to my bed post and attending to my every need.”

  “My Lady, it is not only my duty to do your bidding, your punishment sounds delightful.”

  Cat took Billie’s arm. “Then lead the way, brave knight!” They giggled all the way to the showers.

  For the next full hour, the women in that area of the campground studiously avoided the showers. Several approached the building, including Jen, but quickly retreated at the sounds coming from within. Finally, two very satisfied women, one short and fair, the other tall and dark, walked hand in hand along the trail to their campsite.

  Jen had set the percolator to brew on the propane grill not long after Cat and Billie left for their shower, so the coffee was ready when they returned. She motioned for them to sit down and brought three mugs and the coffeepot over to the table. She sat down opposite her friends and poured them each a mug of the rich, dark liquid.

  Jen took a sip of her aromatic brew and said, “Sword in my service, huh? Which one of you is the screamer?”

  Billie nearly choked on her coffee and both women turned several shades of red. “You heard that, huh?” Billie asked, while Cat found something very interesting to look at in her coffee cup.

  “Big Guy, the whole campground heard it. It sounded like someone had a polecat cornered in there. So, which of you is the screamer?” she asked again.

  Billie and Cat looked at each other and then back at Jen. “She is!” they both said.

  Chapter 14: Out of the Mouths of Babes

  The ladies were on their second cup of coffee when Fred meandered back to the campsite after his own shower. He wore a wide grin on his face. “You should have heard the racket up at the showers,” he exclaimed. “Whoever it was, they were sure going at it hot and heavy!”

  “Ahem.” Jen cleared her throat to get Fred’s attention as she ran her hand through her hair. Fred looked her way, and she tilted her head sideways and raised her eyebrows at their friends, who were contemplating the top of the picnic table.

  “Get out!” His eyes wide were with disbelief. “No way!

  Really? Well, I'll be,” he said. “Who’s the screamer?”

  “Oh, God.” Cat dropped her forehead to the table; Billie looked up at the sky.

  “Looks like rain,” she said.

  Cat and Billie were saved from further teasing by sounds of the kids in their tent. The adults’ eyes were drawn to the two small tents in the center of the campsite as the zippers opened. Tara tore out of the tent, a look of panic on her face.

  “Mama,” Tara said, “Sky is gone.”

  “No, she isn't sweetie,” Cat said. “She’s in our tent. She crawled in with us not too long after you two fell asleep.”

  “Well, that explains a lot,” Fred teased.

  “Sure, blame it on the kid,” Jen added.

  Billie grabbed a handful of Jen’s blonde hair, gently pulled her down onto the bench beside her, and whispered into her friend’s ear, “Enough, Curly. Got it?” Then she unexpectedly kissed Jen soundly on the mouth before she released her.

  Stunned, Jen looked back and forth between Cat and Billie. “Wow!”

  At that moment, Skylar emerged from Cat and Billie’s tent. She ran directly into Billie’s open arms, where she curled up in her lap and laid her head in the hollow between Billie’s breasts.

  Seconds later, she lifted her head and looked directly into Billie’s eyes. “Your boobie pillows are softer than Mama’s.”

  Cat, Fred, and Jen all spat their coffee at the pronouncement.

  Billie looked at her daughter like she was an alien from outer space. “What did you say?” She cast a dirty look at the three laughing adults.

  “Your boobie pillows are softer than Mama’s,” Skylar repeated. “Mama said you had soft boobies, and they make good pillows. She’s right.”

  It was Cat’s turn to blush. Billie realized that turnabout was fair play, so she prodded the child further. “What do you mean, mine are softer than Mama’s?”

  “I forgot my pillow when I went to your tent last night, so I used Mama’s boobies, but they’re not as soft as yours. Mama’s boobies are smaller. Can I use your boobies tonight?” she asked innocently.

  Fred and Jen doubled over. The red on Cat’s face matched her hair color.

  Billie tried to keep a straight face. “Sky, sweetie, you’ll be sleeping in your own tent with Tara and Karissa tonight. My boobie pillows are off limits for the rest of this trip.”

  Skylar’s bottom lip protruded. “But you let Mama use your boobie pillows. She sleeps on them a lot.”

  “That’s different.”

  Skylar crossed her arms and lowered her chin to her chest, a scowl on her face. “That’s no fair. Mama is a boobie hog.”

  “Fair or not, you’re sleeping in your own tent tonight.”

  Chapter 15: It’ll Hurt You in the End (Literally)…

  Billie and Cat strolled hand-in-hand through the woods on their way to the stables. Fred and Jen walked close behind. Billie looked over her shoulder. “Have you ever been horseback riding, Jen?” “No, I haven’t, but I’ve always wanted to. Hey, you kids don’t

  get too far ahead of us!” Jen called out after the four older children as they rode their bikes along the trails. Skylar rode her two-wheeled bike with training wheels on the trail directly in front of them.

  “I’ve ridden before, but it’s been a while,” Fred offered. “I hope it’s like riding a bike. You know, you never really forget how. How about you, Cat?”

  “My grandparents own a plantation type home with lots of land, and my sisters and I spent a lot of time there in the summers. We learned to ride during those visits.”

  “A plantation home? Wow. That must be awesome,” Jen said.

  “More than awesome. It’s huge. You walk into the entryway, and you feel like you’re on the set of Gone With The Wind, complete with grand staircase. My sisters and I used to have races to see who could slide down the banisters the quickest. Turns out, Grandma Josie beat us all. She’s a hoot, that one.”

  Jen caught up with Cat and put her arm around her waist. “She sounds like fun. I’ll bet she drove your grandfather nuts.”

  “Correction. She drove my grandmother nuts, my other grandmother, that is.”

  Jen frowned. “Your grandparents are lesbians?”

  “Oh, yeah. Josephine Wycliffe and Alexandra Spirakis. They’re as different as night and day. Grammy Jo is a wildcat. She’d try anything on a bet, and Grammy Alex is regal and the epitome of a Southern belle. They’re really cute together. They made me feel very loved growing up. In fact, one of the things that attracted me to Billie is that she resembles Grammy Alex¯quite a bit, in fact. They’re both tall, dark-haired, and very beautiful.”

  Billie squeezed Cat’s hand. “You never told me that.”

  “It’s true. You look so much like her, she could be your grandmother instead of mine. If you age as beautifully as she has, I’ll be the luckiest geriatri
c in town!”

  “Ha, ha, very funny. Oops, be careful not to trip over that branch,” Billie pointed out as they maneuvered their way around the obstacle. “I can’t wait to meet them. It’s too bad they couldn’t make our wedding.”

  “They would’ve come, but they were in Greece,” Cat said. “They travel so often, they’re almost never home.”

  “I know, but we’ve been married for what, almost three years, and I still haven’t met them.”

  “With our jobs, school, and the kids’ activities, all our lives are busy, Billie,” Cat said. “We just need to set a specific date to visit that works for all of us.”

  “What were they doing in Greece?” Jen asked.

  “Grammy Alex is a professor of history at The Citadel in South Carolina, and she’s often invited to deliver keynote addresses and lectures around the world. Grammy Jo won’t stay home without her, so they go together,” Cat explained.

  “I’m jealous. Maybe I should find a rich professor to travel the world with,” Jen suggested.

  “Hey!” Fred objected.

  Cat and Billie’s hand-holding drew curious looks from passersby as they walked down the path. Some smiled, others frowned, and a few even walked a wide berth around them. One such hiker was bolder than the rest; he intercepted them by stepping in front of them on the path. “You two need to get a room. Can’t you see there are children around?”

  Jen stepped between the stranger and her friends. “Take your prejudices elsewhere,” she said.

  “Mind your own business.”

  “These ladies are my business. You would be lucky to have a relationship like theirs.”

  “Not in a million years, lady.”

  Fred stepped in and put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Look, we don’t want any trouble, just move on.”

  “This is a free country. I have a right to express my opinion.”

  “Yes you do,” Fred said, “but not in front of our children.” Fred squeezed his shoulder painfully tight. “You got my meaning?”