Happy Campers

by Karen D. Badger

  The man shook free of Fred’s grasp and turned toward the path. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said as he walked away.

  Fred grinned at his friends.

  Billie placed a hand on Fred’s shoulder. “Thanks, friend. Now, how ’bout we mosey on down the trail and find us some hosses to ride?”

  “I reckon that’s a good plan, pardner.” He turned to Jen. “Whaddaya say, Ma?”

  “Well, I reckon you might be right, Pa. What’cher wait’n fer?” she replied.

  Cat hooked her thumbs into the belt loops on her jeans. “Lead the way, Billie-girl. I got a hankerin’ for a trail ride. Let’s git’er done.”

  All four adults broke into giggles as they continued on down the trail toward the stables.

  * * *

  “Here you go, young lady,” the stable hand said as he handed the reins of a beautiful chocolate-colored Morgan mare to Jen.

  Jen backed away as far as the length of rein would allow. She looked at Billie and pointed at the horse. “You expect me to ride that?”

  Billie took the reins from her and approached the animal. She stroked the dark brown mane. “Don’t be afraid. Animals can sense fear. She’s a beautiful mount. All you need to do is relax, and you two will get along just fine.”

  Jen stood her ground. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re an experienced rider.”

  “Come here, I’ll help you up,” Billie offered.

  Jen inched her way warily toward the horse until she stood beside it. She looked at the stirrup, which came about waist high on her. “I don’t think I can lift my foot that high.”

  “Sure you can. Just grab the saddle horn like this, put your left foot in the stirrup, then hoist yourself up. When you’re high enough, throw your right leg over her back.” Billie demonstrated the mounting process, then patted the horse’s neck. “Good girl.”

  Jen looked at Billie sitting easy in the saddle. “Easy for someone six inches taller than I am.”

  Billie dismounted and held her hand out to Jen. “Come on. I’ll help you.”

  Jen stood on tiptoes and grabbed the saddle horn. The extension of her arms required her to press herself against the side of the horse with no clearance to lift her foot into the stirrup. The horse began to move. “Whoa!” Jen exclaimed as she ran alongside the horse, still grasping the saddle horn.

  Billie came to her rescue by grabbing the reins. The horse immediately came to a halt. She handed the reins back to Jen. “Maybe this horse isn’t right for you. Stay right here. I’m going to talk to the stable hand.”

  A few moments later, Billie returned. “We’re flat out of luck. This is the last horse.” She looked at the rest of her party and realized that her horse was even larger than Jen’s, as were the ones being ridden by Fred and Cat. “Short of taking a smaller horse away from one of the kids, I’m afraid you’re stuck with this one, Jen.”

  “Well, how the hell can I ride this beast when she won’t even stand still long enough for me to get on her?”

  “What’s the holdup?” Cat said as she rode her horse toward them. “The kids are anxious to start riding, and oh, by the way, the most anxious kid is Fred.”

  Billie motioned her head toward Jen. “Pipsqueak can’t get on her horse. Maybe you can give us a hand here.”

  “Sure.” Cat dismounted and took the reins from Jen. “I’ll hold her still while Billie helps you up.”

  “Okay, Jen, put your foot into the stirrup, and then I’ll tush-push you up far enough for you to grab the saddle horn,” Billie said.

  Jen put her left foot into the stirrup, and Billie put her hands under Jen’s bottom. “Nice ass,” Billie said as she squeezed.

  Jen’s foot immediately came out of the stirrup. She turned around and slugged Billie in the shoulder.

  “Ow!”

  “Serves you right. You’re supposed to be helping me, not feeling me up. In front of your wife, no less.”

  Billie rubbed her shoulder. The grin on her face belied the feigned pain. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.” She looked at Cat. “Forgive me?”

  Cat smiled. “You’re incorrigible. Now help her up. We need to get this show on the road.”

  “Okay, Jen, I promise to be good. Let’s try this again.”

  Jen once again put her left foot into the stirrup as Billie pushed her bottom upward, high enough for her to grab the saddle horn. Before Jen could throw her leg over the animal’s back, the horse sidestepped a full circle around the reins held fast in Cat’s hands. Jen held on for dear life. “Stop! Help!” she screamed. Just as the horse came full circle, Jen lost her grip on the saddle horn and fell on her rump on the dusty ground.

  Cat calmed the horse as Billie helped Jen up. “Sorry, Jen. She got away from me,” Cat said, trying to hide her grin.

  Jen rubbed her butt as Billie tried to brush the dust from her. “She hates me. That’s it, that goddamned horse hates me. And you can wipe that smirk off your face, Red. It’s not funny.”

  Billie picked Jen’s cowboy hat up and put it back on her head. “She doesn’t hate you, Jen, she just senses your nervousness. Now let’s try this again.”

  Jen crossed her arms. “No fricking way.”

  Billie put her hands on her hips. “Curly, are you really going to let the kids show you up? Look at them over there.” Billie pointed to Seth, Tara, Stevie, and Karissa, all mounted and riding their horses around the stable yard while they waited for the adults. Skylar sat in the saddle in front of Fred.

  “Sure, play the kid card,” Jen said. “Okay. One more try. If I fall on my ass again, I’m done.”

  “This isn’t so bad,” Jen said as her horse obediently followed beside Billie’s mount.

  “Just relax, and it’ll be fine,” Billie assured her.

  “It’s almost as if the horse knows where we’re going.”

  “It probably does. I’m sure they’ve traveled these same paths hundreds of times.”

  Some distance in front of the adults, the children were riding happily, with the exception of Skylar who transferred from Fred to Cat’s saddle.

  “Seth, Stevie, stay close,” Billie warned as the boys guided their horses down the trails.

  “Look at them,” Jen said. “They act like they were born in the saddle.”

  “It amazes me sometimes how kids pick up new things so quickly. I think it’s because they’re fearless.”

  “Too fearless. I don’t remember being that bold when I was their age,” Jen admitted. Just then, her horse shook its head and sidestepped a few feet. “Whoa! What’s she doing?”

  Billie leaned over in her saddle toward Jen and stroked the mare’s mane. “You’re fine. You control the horse with pressure from your knees and reins. Squeeze her between your knees. That’s it. Take it slow. You’re doing great.”

  “Spoken by someone who is used to having something between her knees,” Jen quipped.

  “Jealous?” Billie asked.

  “You’re damned right, I am.”

  Billie laughed. “Difference is, it wouldn’t be prudent to squeeze what’s between my knees in those situations.”

  “TMI!”

  “You brought it up, not me.”

  The ladies fell silent for a few moments as Billie watched Jen concentrate on the ride.

  “I’m actually enjoying this,” Jen said proudly as she moved with the rhythm of the horse.

  “Why don’t you lead the pack, Jen? As the rookie, you need to set the pace for the rest of us,” Billie said.

  Jen looked insulted. “I’m not the only rookie here, you know. The kids haven’t ridden before either.”

  “True, but look at them. They’re already riding confidently. They think they’re invincible at this age, remember?”

  “Yeah, I remember. Okay, I’ll take the lead, but I don’t want to hear any whining if I’m moving too slow.”

  After about a half-hour on the trail, Jen’s horse suddenly reared. “Holy shit! What’s happening? Billie!” Jen screamed.

/>   Billie urged her mount closer to Jen to see what had spooked the horse. There in front of them was a small snake making its way across the path.

  “Don’t panic, Jen. Calm down and hold on,” Billie instructed.

  “It’s just a snake.”

  “Uh-oh,” Fred breathed.

  “A snake? Oh my God, I hate snakes. Get it away from me!” Jen screamed as she fidgeted in the saddle.

  Jen’s fear sparked the horse into a panic as it reared up on its hind legs and whinnied in fear. Jen held on to the saddle horn for dear life, shrieking loudly. The other three horses shied away.

  As soon as the front hooves of Jen’s horse hit the ground, it took off running across the meadow to escape the reptile. Jen bounced unmercifully as she clung to the saddle horn for dear life. As Cat and Fred collected the children, Billie skillfully directed her horse toward Jen and quickly pulled alongside the runaway horse. “Jen, try to get your feet back into the stirrups,” Billie yelled.

  “I… I can’t,” Jen cried, barely able to maintain her perch on the horse with the saddle horn grasped in one hand and a handful of mane clutched in the other.

  “Reach for the reins, Jen.”

  “No! I’ll fall off!”

  Billie shifted her weight in the saddle and reached for the trailing reins. As she pulled the frightened animal to a stop, Jen practically climbed up her arm and into her lap, her eyes wild with fear.

  Billie wrapped her arms around her trembling friend. “You’re shaking like a leaf, Jen.”

  Jen started to cry.

  “It’s okay. Calm down. I’ve got you.”

  “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

  “You did well to hold on. Had you fallen off, you might have been trampled.”

  “Don’t make me get on that beast again.”

  “No worries, I won’t. We do need to get her back to the stables, though.”

  Billie helped Jen settle in front of her, then slowly approached the mare who was a few feet away, grazing on the grass. Billie reached for the reins, tied them to the saddle of her own horse, then started back toward where Cat and Fred waited with the children.

  All the way back, Jen clung to Billie’s arm wrapped around her midsection.

  “I feel like such a fool,” Jen said.

  “Don’t. It wasn’t your fault the snake crossed our path.”

  “I know, but if I’d only kept my cool…”

  “Don’t stress about it, Jen. It’s over, done. No sweat.”

  Reaching the others, Billie transferred her passenger to Fred, who wrapped strong arms around her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  Jen nodded, on the verge of tears.

  Chapter 16: The Naked Truth

  Jen was never so happy to have her feet on solid ground as she was when Fred lowered her from his horse at the stables. “I will never do this again, Fred.”

  Fred cradled her face between his hands and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “Its okay, Hon. Horseback riding isn’t for everyone. I’m just happy you weren’t hurt.”

  It was nearly lunchtime when they returned to the campsite. Billie and Fred took the van to the office to purchase more firewood as Cat put together a lunch of canned baked beans, hot dogs, and chips. Jen paced nervously around the campsite, hands on her hips. Every now and then, she stopped to run her hands up and down her butt.

  Cat smiled at her friend. “Hurts, huh?”

  “Oh, yeah. When are we going to the beach?”

  “Right after lunch, if I have anything to say about it,” Cat replied. “I’m looking forward to relaxing in the sun.”

  “I’m looking forward to lying down on my stomach. That’s the only position I’m comfortable in at the moment.”

  “Then let’s get this show on the road. Kids, come wash your hands. Lunch is ready,” Cat called into the adjacent campsite.

  “Aw, Mom, we were just starting a game,” Seth whined.

  “The sooner we eat lunch, the sooner we can go to the beach,” Cat reasoned.

  “The beach! Yay!” Within seconds, five children were gathered around the water spigot.

  * * *

  “God, this feels so good,” Cat purred as she lay on the blanket on her back beside Jen.

  “The feeling is moo-chal, darlin,’” Jen replied in her best German accent.

  “You’re a nut,” Cat said.

  Jen turned her head sideway and placed her cheek on the blanket to look at her friend. “It’s so beautiful and peaceful here.”

  “Peaceful is the operative word. I hope Billie is enjoying herself. She needs the break.”

  “So your doc prescribed a vacation, huh?” Jen asked.

  “Yeah, although I’m not sure this is what Billie had in mind.”

  “Maybe not, but it’ll do her some good to be out in the fresh air. It’s much better than being stuck behind that desk of hers. I mean, look at this place. Beautiful beach, clean water, and not too many people around to crowd us out. It’s our own little piece of heaven.”

  They had chosen a particularly quiet part of the beach, about a hundred yards from a very tall pile of rocks and boulders that separated the property of the campground from private land. Seth and Stevie explored the man-made boundary while Billie and Fred searched for seashells with the three girls.

  “Yes it is. I’m surprised no one is at this end of the beach. I would think that rock wall over there would attract the kids, big time.”

  “You’re right. It is kind of curious why it was so deserted. It’s not like there’re no kids here. Look at them all over there.”

  Cat looked down the length of beach to where there were several dozen kids playing in the sand and water while their parents sunbathed nearby. “Their loss, our gain. I’m glad we have this part of the beach to ourselves.”

  “Amen to that,” Jen said.

  Some time later, Cat was awakened from a light doze by Billie’s voice. “Cat, where’s the sunscreen? Sky needs a fresh coat.”

  Cat located the sunscreen and handed it to Billie. As Billie slathered Skylar’s back, Cat noticed Tara and Karissa, who were still searching for seashells at the water’s edge with Fred. “Where are the boys?” she asked.

  Billie continued to rub the lotion into her daughter’s skin.

  “They’re exploring the rocks.”

  Cat squinted at the ridge of rocks. “Where? I don’t see them.”

  Billie raised her head and looked for herself. After a moment or two, she stood erect and shaded her eyes from the sun with her hand as she focused her gaze on the mountain of rocks. “You’re right. I don’t see them either. Fred, did you see where the boys went?”

  Fred looked up from helping Tara and Karissa rinse the shells they had found. “They’re right over there on the…” Fred stopped short as his gaze failed to locate Stevie and Seth. “Where did they go?”

  “Sky, stay here with Mama, okay? I need to find your brother.”

  “Billie, wait. I’m going with you,” Cat said.

  “The boys are missing? You’re not leaving me behind,” Jen said as she struggled to her feet.

  “All right then,” Billie said as she picked Skylar up, “I guess we’ll all look for them.”

  Tara and Karissa ran ahead of the adults as the group moved toward the mountain of rocks at the end of the beach. The girls reached the top before their parents made it half way up.

  “Girls, wait for us before you go down the other side,” Cat called. She watched to see if the girls would obey and saw Karissa stop short, covering her mouth with her hands. Tara stopped beside her. It was obvious to Cat, by Tara’s expression, that what she saw on the other side shocked her.

  Tara cupped her mouth with her hands. “Mama, they’re naked!”

  Billie looked at Cat, her eyes wide with dismay. “Oh, my God!”

  Fueled by fear and panic that something unthinkable could have happened to the boys, Billie, Cat, and Fred made their way to the top of the ridge as fast as they c
ould. Jen struggled upward at a much slower pace, as her horse riding injuries from earlier in the day greatly hindered her. What they saw when they reached the top made them stop in their tracks.

  “Tara, Karissa, take Skylar and very carefully climb down the rocks and go back to the blanket on the beach. Do it now,” Cat said sternly.

  “But, Mama,” Tara protested.

  “Do as your mother says,” Billie ordered.

  “I agree,” Fred added. “Karissa, go on, now.”

  On their way down the ridge, the girls passed Jen still moving upward. Moments later, Fred lent her a hand for the last few steps.

  Finally, all four adults stood at the top and looked across the ridge.

  “Holy Mother of God… a nudist colony!”

  * * *

  “I can’t believe there’s a nudist colony right next to a family campground,” Cat railed at the park ranger.

  “Ma’am, we have no say over how adjacent lands are being used,” the ranger replied.

  “Why are there no signs posted warning parents not to let their children climb the ridge? No wonder that end of the beach was deserted.”

  “We’re in the process of replacing the signs. I’m afraid they haven’t come back from the sign maker yet. Our sincere apologies.”

  “Yeah? Tell that to our sons. They’ve probably been traumatized for the rest of their lives,” Jen added.

  The ranger looked at the two eleven-year-olds. “You guys climbed the ridge?”

  Seth and Stevie grinned; Billie and Fred exchanged amused gazes; Cat elbowed Billie in the side.

  “Oh! Ahem, yes.” Billie cleared her throat while she rubbed her side. She tried her best to don a serious attitude. “We found them sitting on the ridge halfway down the other side. They had quite an unobstructed observation point. Cat’s right—you need to post some kind of warnings or somehow block off access to the other side of the ridge, and you need to do it now.”

  “You’re right, of course. I’ll take care of it right away,” the ranger promised.

  “Thank you.” Billie gestured to the group. “Okay, crew, back to camp.”