Feels Like the First Time

by Casey McMillin

  He groaned as he thrust forward, filling me. The shock of being stretched hit me again, and I threw my head back enjoying it. He grabbed me by the hips and began to pull down on me while at the same time, pushing his hips into me. He gave me a few thrusts like that before stopping to glance across the stall.

  "Get against the wall again."

  "What?"

  "You heard me. Stand up and put your hands against the wall again." I let out a tiny giggle of delight. I put my hands against the wall and arched my back offering him a clear view.

  He came up behind me and ran his fingertips up the back of my thigh and across my center. I shivered. He came to stand behind me and took my hips in his hands. He pushed up against me so I could feel his hardness, but didn't give me what I wanted. I arched my back even more, hoping to encourage him to come in.

  "Please," I whispered, looking back.

  "What'd you say?"

  "Please," I repeated.

  "What are you asking for?"

  "I want you inside me."

  "You want this?" He ran the tip of his erection up my opening.

  "Yes," I answered breathlessly. "Please give it to me."

  Caleb held nothing back. He gave me everything I asked him to give and more. We spent the night in the barn making love until I was out of condoms and we were both completely spent. I'd never in my life had sex like that, and that was saying a lot. Caleb was an extremely considerate lover with the skills of a much more experienced man. Actually, I didn't ask him about his past experience. I didn't want to know. He was mine now, and that's all that mattered.

  Chapter 21

  I woke up to find that I was in the pallet alone. It was light enough that I knew the sun had already come up, and I picked my head up, wondering where in the world Caleb was, and thinking last night might have all been a dream.

  "Caleb?" I said. My voice came out even raspier than usual and I cleared my throat and gave it another shot. "Caleb?" I said. I sat up, clutching the covers to my bare chest. It was chilly in there, but I'd been so warm under the covers that I hadn't even noticed till I sat up and felt the rush of cold air hit my back.

  I heard a whistle coming from the barn followed by the sound of footsteps coming toward the stall. Caleb Cross, in his stunning, perfect glory came into view, and he looked down at me smiling. He seemed like he'd been up for a while. He was already dressed and looking much more with it than I felt. I couldn't help but feel like I missed something.

  "Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, squinting up at him.

  "I was just in there talking to Cucumber," he said. "She was making noise and I didn't want her to wake you."

  He stretched out beside me on top of the covers and I plopped back onto the pallet so I could cuddle up next to him. He was propped up on an elbow, and I looked up at him. "I wish I would have thought about pillows," I said. He reached under the quilts and gathered a pile of straw to make a little extra cushion for my head. I laid back on it, testing the design. "Why didn't I ask you to do that last night?"

  "Were you uncomfortable?" I looked up at him thinking the word uncomfortable wasn't even in my vocabulary when he was near me.

  "I was great," I said.

  He used a finger to move a lock of hair from my forehead and I smiled sleepily at him. It was at that very second that the barn lights came on. I thought the natural lighting from sunrise made it light in there, but the shock of the sudden artificial lighting scared me to death. I curled into a ball and squeezed my eyes tight for a second before I realized what a ridiculous reaction that was.

  Obviously, neither Caleb nor I turned on the light, so someone else was in the barn. At this point, I needed to be thinking of something besides my own panic.

  "Hand me those clothes," I whispered, wide-eyed. I pointed at the shirt I'd already noticed on the ground nearby.

  "Caleb?" I heard a man's voice say. It was definitely his dad, and I got so nervous that I reared back and slapped him across the shoulder. "Go out there and distract him," I whispered desperately.

  Caleb smiled calmly at me as if he was thinking how cute it was that I was all in a tizzy. This only served to make me more anxious. I was already worried about how his family would accept me. The last thing I wanted was for them to find me lying in their barn buck-naked.

  "Seriously, Caleb, go out there! And throw me that shirt when you get up." I was continually slapping at his shoulder so he'd get up and moving. I felt like it was the cops out there and I was about to be arrested for something. Caleb tossed my shirt at me before heading to the door.

  He was just about to reach for the handle when Ben Cross stepped into view at the threshold. Caleb shifted and did his best to stand in the doorway. "I was just coming out there," Caleb said.

  "What are you doing out here—feeding the horses?"

  "No," Caleb said. He was calm and matter-of-fact like he wasn't scared of his dad at all, and I just sat there and prayed for him to lie so we could get out of this.

  "Did you come in last night?"

  "No sir."

  There was a pause.

  "Why are you being so cryptic, son. You all right?"

  "I'm fine," Caleb said. I could hear the smile in his voice, and I cringed and closed my eyes. I couldn't move to put my shirt back on because I knew Mr. Cross would notice the movement in the background.

  "What's so funny?" I heard his dad ask.

  "Nothing. I just feel bad for Jovi because I know she's mortified right now."

  I wanted to pull the covers over my face and melt into the straw pallet, never to be seen or heard from again. I covered my face with both hands, leaving my fingers open so I could peek through.

  "What do you mean Jovi is mortified? I'm afraid I'm not following—ohhh, I see."

  Caleb had leaned to the side letting his dad get a little peek at what was behind him.

  "Hey Jovi," Ben Cross said.

  I tried to smile a little as I waved shyly.

  Caleb stood up straight, blocking his dad's view once again, and then there was a few seconds where none of us said a thing.

  I heard Ben sigh. "No offense Jovi, but I probably won't be telling Ms. Bonnie about this."

  "Thank you," I said. I heard his footsteps retreat down the main hall and Caleb turned to look at me with a big smile on his face.

  "Feed the horses!" we heard his dad yell.

  "Okay!" Caleb yelled back. Then he looked at me again with a teasing expression.

  I glared at him.

  "Why'd you tell him I was in here?" I asked, horrified.

  "Because he knew something was up. He's not an idiot. He knows this stall's usually empty."

  I flopped back onto the pallet dramatically and threw an arm over my eyes. "That was the worst possible thing that could have happened."

  "Oh, now come on," he said, walking over to me and sitting on the edge of the makeshift bed. "That wasn't a big deal at all. My dad doesn't care. You think he wasn't young once?"

  "Yeah but he said he was going to keep it a secret from your mom. That goes to show you how ghetto he thinks I am."

  Caleb laughed. "He does not think you're ghetto. He just said that about my mom because he thought you'd want him to keep it a secret. He smiled and winked at me before he left."

  I uncovered my face and looked at him. "Did he really?"

  "Yes. I promise."

  I sat up and began to put on my shirt. "It's still really embarrassing."

  "My parents love you."

  "I know they love me, but they love me like a neighbor, not a girlfriend for their son."

  "What's the difference?"

  "There's a huge difference," I said.

  He ignored me, shaking his head a little. He stood up and put a hand out, offering to help me up. I gave him my hand and he pulled me into his arms. My bottom-half was still bare, and he cupped my backside with his big bare hand. He lowered his head and put a kiss on my cheek.

  "I didn't hurt you last night, did I?"r />
  I glanced at him smiling. "No," I said softly. "I'm the one who asked you to do it."

  "Is that something you like to do all the time?"

  I shrugged shyly. "Not necessarily all the time but it was fun for me, and I wouldn't mind it every once in a while if you're okay with it."

  He smiled and I could tell he was okay with it. I felt that warm rush of lust hit me again.

  "You're gonna have to stop being so hot," I said.

  I broke the contact and began searching for my panties and pants. I found them and got dressed before starting to gather the other things I'd brought.

  "What time is it?" I asked.

  "Eight-thirty." He looked around the stall.

  "I'm gonna go feed the horses," he said. "I'll take care of this straw later today. You can just leave it."

  I got dressed and gathered all of the supplies including the quilts, which I folded into a neat pile. I was picking the last bits of straw off of the stack of quilts when Caleb came back to the stall.

  "I'll help you get all this stuff back to your house," he said, bending to pick up the quilts. I tried to tell him I was fine carrying it alone—that I'd done it the night before—but he insisted he wanted to help me with it.

  We talked about my job on the way to the house. He'd asked me about it before, but he was curious about the business side of radio and had a few questions about commercials. He walked inside with me. I sat the bag and lantern near the door and told him to do the same thing with the blankets.

  "I'll wash them later," I said, mostly to myself.

  "Why don't you just leave them right here ready to go? We have a few more nights before Christmas—a few more nights till we both have to get back to our respective colleges. I think they'll probably come in handy."

  I smiled up at him before popping up to put a kiss on his cheek. Coleen came around the corner, catching me in the act. "Oh my word, I'm sorry. I heard you come in but I didn't realize you had Caleb with you. How are you Caleb? How's that knee?"

  "It's much better, thanks. It'll be business as usual this spring."

  "Oh I'm so happy to hear that. Earl and I were just saying what a shame it would be if you didn't get to play your senior year."

  "I'll be back this year for sure. We're already having practice, and I'm pretty much a hundred percent."

  Coleen was extremely interested and looked like she desperately wanted to hear more. "Have you two eaten?" she asked.

  Caleb looked at me and I gave my head a little shake. I was almost scared of what sort of breakfast scheme she had in mind. She turned to look over her shoulder, her curly hair jiggling with the movement. "Earl!" she yelled, startling me. "The kids are staying for breakfast!"

  She looked at Caleb. "Come on in, he'll cook some eggs and toast. I think we have bacon too. Do you like bacon?"

  "Yes ma'am." Caleb said, smiling back at me as he followed her.

  Coleen walked into the living room with such excitement that I had to hold back a giggle. We could see Earl from across the way. "Caleb's here with Jovi," she announced. She sat at the end of the bar and patted the section of the bar next to her so we'd know where to sit.

  Caleb sat in the stool closest to Coleen and I took the one on the other side of him. He looked over at me once I got settled on my stool. Then apparently deciding I was too far away, he took my stool in one hand and tugged on it until I was a good six inches closer to him. He stuck his leg out a little bit until it touched mine. I wanted to rub up against him like a cat on a scratching post. Coleen, who'd witnessed the whole barstool-moving procedure looked on with a wistful expression.

  "Caleb said he'll be playing this year, Earl."

  "Is that right?"

  "Yes sir," Caleb said.

  "Well, did you hear any more about signing any contracts? I know you were being scouted."

  I had already heard the story. Caleb was supposed to be drafted to play pro ball at the end of his junior year, but a few games into the season, he suffered a devastating knee injury and had to have two subsequent surgeries. He was out for the entire season, and was just getting back to full swing.

  "Do you think you'll be in good enough shape to go on to the draft after this year?" Earl asked.

  I was really curious to hear the answer to that question. It was something I'd never asked before mostly because I assumed it wasn't even a possibility with his injury.

  "It might be possible for me to go late in the draft, but I don't think I'm gonna follow that path. Baseball has served me well. I love playing and it paid for my education, but I have career plans with my dad, and I'm ready to get going on that. I guess I sort of lost interest in trying to make it a career when that thing happened with my knee. I understood how quickly everything could change."

  "Are you going to stay here so you can go to work for your dad?"

  "Dad's planning on expanding. He's looking at Fayetteville, Little Rock, and a few other cities nearby, but it's ultimately up to Aaron and I. He offered to do it for both of us. He'll open the business and help us get it off the ground, and eventually will take it over."

  "Jovi lives in Little Rock." Coleen said.

  "Yep, she sure does." Earl added.

  Caleb looked at me with a stunned expression. "You live in Little Rock?" he said.

  I smiled and nodded and then stuck my tongue out at him.

  "I'll probably open a branch in Little Rock so I can be with Jovi then," he said, looking at Coleen.

  Butterflies instantly took over my stomach. I didn't expect him to say boyfriend-ish things like that in front of her especially something as highly committal as moving to Little Rock. Just because I didn't expect it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

  I felt like I wanted to jump up and twirl around and sing like a princess in a Disney cartoon. I reached out to put my hand on his thigh, and he put his hand over mine, holding it there.

  "So are you and Jovi seeing each other?" Coleen asked.

  I cringed inwardly wondering how she could ask something so ridiculous. I just sat there and waited for Caleb to answer, but instead, he looked over at me.

  I shrugged and cocked my head at him. "I mean, we are—aren't we?"

  He made a deadpan expression and shrugged back at me. "I don't know—are we?"

  I knew he was teasing me—trying to make me squirm since he knew how shy I was about all that stuff. I pushed at his leg and groaned as I rolled my eyes at the lot of them.

  "He just said he was moving to Little Rock," I said. "That should tell you something."

  Chapter 22

  We'd just finished eating when we saw a small, older model car come tearing up the driveway. It was the Tuesday before Christmas at nine o'clock in the morning—a random time for someone to speed up the driveway. Coleen went to the window and peered out, trying to see who it was.

  "Earl honey, I think this is Brandon," she said. She sounded unconvinced, but she was sure enough that her voice shook with nerves.

  Brandon's my dad.

  He hadn't tried to contact me since he left New York, and I wondered why he would now.

  "Just go wait in the dining room so you don't have to deal with him," Earl said, looking straight at me.

  "You want me to hide?" I asked.

  Just then, came a pounding at the door.

  "Yes, I want you to hide," he said. He pointed at Coleen and then to the dining room "Go with her in there," he said. He looked at Caleb. "You can stay out here with me if you don't mind."

  Caleb nodded as Coleen and I took off to get out of sight. We sat in a corner of the dining room with a china cabinet between us and the door, but we could clearly hear what was going on in the living room.

  "You just stand right there," Earl said.

  We heard the door open and then nothing for a few seconds.

  "Aren't you gonna invite me in? Oh, that's right, I forgot you don't even know what I look like. Hi dad. I'm your son."

  "I know who you are." Earl said.

&
nbsp; "Aren't you gonna invite me inside? It's cold out here."

  There was a moment of silence along with some shuffling, and I tried to imagine where they were all positioned, but had no clue.

  "Are you my brother? I know I have a brother."

  I heard Caleb say, "No."

  And then Earl followed it with," We do have a son named Sam, but this here's the neighbor."

  There was another long silence and Coleen and I just sat there quiet as little mice.

  "I heard Jovi's doing well for herself," my dad said. "I heard she's got some big time job working on the radio in Little Rock. I went by the station last night, but they said she was at her parents' for Christmas. That was sort of weird since I'm her only parent who's alive and she wasn't with me, but I knew they must be talking about you."

  "Why do you need to talk to Jovi all of a sudden? You haven't seen her since she was a thirteen-year-old kid. You remember, the one you left with your sick sister so she could use her."

  "Hey, I didn't have anything to do with that."

  "Alicia said she didn't mind her staying and I knew she was better off with her than foster care or whatever."

  "You're wrong about that," Earl said. "Foster care or whatever would have been better than your sister." Earl's voice was impassive and I was thankful to him for standing up to my dad.

  "Well, I'm trying to make up for that now," dad said.

  "Really? What are you trying to do? Did you bring a Christmas present or something? You can leave it with me and I'll make sure she gets it."

  "No I didn't bring a Christmas present. It's not even Christmas yet. I wanted to catch up with her because I need a new start and I figured Little Rock was just as good a place as any to find one. I wanted to get to know my daughter. I figured if she was a public figure over there she could introduce me to the right people to get me back on my feet."

  "Brandon, you obviously have no concept of what it's like to work a real job. Jovi works at a radio station, but it's just a part time job. She's a student and she gets by like the rest of us. She's not a public figure; she just has a job at a radio station. Coleen and I still help her out. She's just a kid. You don't need to be asking her for stuff when you're the parent."