First Instinct

by Suzie O'Connell

  He obeyed but snarled, “Do not ever touch her.”

  Nick waited outside Dr. Keller’s office during her meeting, and by the time they headed downstairs afterwards, Eric and Rich had left. Dr. Smith was just leaving his office when they returned, and Nick handed over his assignments.

  “Thanks, Nick,” the professor replied. “Come on inside for a minute, and I’ll get you next week’s work. I appreciate your willingness to keep up your grades despite the circumstances, but I’ll be glad to have you back in class.”

  Beth smiled. At least one of Nick’s professors believed he would be coming back. When Nick left Dr. Smith’s office, much of the exasperation had left his face, and the rest of it disappeared when she took his hand. He squeezed her hand and offered her a genuine if brief smile.

  It vanished as soon as they reached her room to find Dean Harris standing outside it, staring at the note taped to it. Beth let go of Nick’s hand and joined the dean in front of her door. The piece of sloppily torn notebook paper said simply, Round 2?

  “What does this mean?” Rob asked.

  Beth shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She knew exactly what it meant, but she couldn’t explain it without revealing what round one was. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with Nick’s assault charge?”

  Dean Harris didn’t buy it, but he didn’t question her further. “I just talked to him—caught him as he was heading back to his room just now. He swears he hasn’t had anything to do with these… pranks. If anything else like this happens, please do me a favor and let me know right away.”

  “How about Richard Hall and Eric Rice trying to pick a fight with Nick about twenty minutes ago?” Beth inquired.

  “Yes, that’d be something I need to know. What happened?”

  Nick explained up to the point that Beth had arrived, and she filled in the rest. A dark scowl passed over Dean Harris’s normally jovial face.

  “If you two will excuse me, I have a couple students to speak with. Nick, you might want to bring this up with your lawyer. Slapping you—even lightly—constitutes assault. At the very least, it’s harassment, and Mr. McInerny will want to know about it.”

  “I’ve already got enough trouble to deal with,” Nick replied quietly. “I don’t know that I need to be adding any more legal issues to it.”

  “Even though you’re the injured party this time?”

  “It wasn’t much of a slap.”

  “All right. Well, talk to your lawyer about it, regardless.”

  Nick nodded. Dean Harris bid them farewell and strode away. Beth unlocked her door and pulled Nick inside, then closed and locked the door behind them. When she turned around to address him, he’d sat on the edge of her bed and curled over his knees with his hands locked behind his head. Everything about this situation was so wrong and so surreal that, right then, she wondered if it was real. She sat beside him and rubbed her hand across his back. The muscles beneath her fingers were taut, and when she tried to pull him upright, it was like trying to move a boulder.

  “Nick,” she murmured. “Look at me, please.”

  He obeyed, and when he met her gaze, she flinched. The agony in his eyes broke her heart. She’d seen it only once before, and then she hadn’t been in a clear enough state of mind to really take note of it, too consumed by her own pain. Where was her easygoing, smiling Nick?

  “I totally understand now how you felt when you wanted to quit school,” Nick said.

  The exhaustion in his voice worried her. “Except that it would have been my choice. You may not have a choice. That makes it harder, I’m sure.”

  “I just want to go home to Northstar,” he murmured. “Forget all this for a couple of days.”

  “Then let’s go. I’m sure, after all this crap, even a rainy cattle drive will seem like a vacation.”

  Nick nodded, then lay back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. She lay beside him with her head on his shoulder and was glad when he wrapped his arms around her because it meant he wasn’t so lost in his thoughts that he couldn’t feel anything else.

  “I’m so sorry this is happening,” he whispered. “You deserve better, but it seems like the harder I try to make it go away, the worse it gets.”

  “It’s not your fault any more than it is mine,” she replied. “But at least we have each other.”

  “Always.”

  She absently traced the lettering on the front of his T-shirt until he gently captured her hand and pressed their palms together. The gesture was so simple and yet so tenderly intimate.

  “Since we’ve already crossed the line,” he murmured, gazing at their hands for a moment before turning his eyes to her face, “I suppose I should make it official and ask you out. The answer is still yes, isn’t it?”

  “Just so I’m clear, this is you asking me out?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Then, yes, I will.”

  Suddenly, she thought of his ex-girlfriend, whom they hadn’t seen much of, and felt guilty for moving so quickly into Michelle’s place.

  “I thought Michelle said she wanted to keep you as a friend,” Beth said quietly. “But we haven’t seen hardly anything of her.”

  “I talked to her Monday while you were in class. She stopped by. She’s adjusting, just like we are, and she has a new love interest she’d like to investigate without us around—how did she say it?—to confuse her emotions.”

  “She found a new boyfriend already?”

  “They’re not dating yet, but she was interested in him before we got together, and she wants to explore the possibilities.” He turned his face to her, and she caught a glimmer of the Nick she knew and loved. A faintly playful smile graced his cherished features as he reached to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Besides… I have a new girlfriend already, so what’s wrong with her having a new boyfriend?”

  “A new girlfriend from a very old friend, which means we’ve kinda skipped over the whole getting-to-know-you part.”

  “Mmm-hmm. She did ask if a romantic element had changed our friendship. Does it feel like it has?”

  “No. If anything, I feel like our relationship is even more open than it always has been. Like there’s always been a wall or something between us, and now it’s gone.”

  “That’s almost exactly how I explained it.”

  “What did she say to that?”

  “I told you so.”

  Beth laughed. “I knew I liked her.”

  “She’s definitely something special,” Nick agreed. “But so are you. And I’m beginning to understand, more every day, that you’re the right kind of special for me.”

  “Can I try something?” she asked abruptly.

  “Um… sure?”

  She propped herself on her elbow and gazed down at him for a moment, questioning whether this was a good idea after their troubles today. While she debated it, she brushed her fingers through his hair, then smoothed her hand up his neck and back along his jaw. Finally, she decided she didn’t care if it was a good idea or not and obeyed the impulse to kiss him. She touched her lips lightly to his at first, testing herself to make sure she wasn’t going to freak out on him. Nick didn’t kiss her back, but he didn’t pull away, either, submitting and giving her complete control. She pressed her lips more firmly to his, exploring the sensations of kissing a man she’d never thought about kissing until recently. It was as easy as everything else with him was, and the heat that built in her core surprised her. She curled her other hand around the side of his head with her thumb against the line between his jaw and ear, resting her upper body over his. This was not her first real kiss, but it felt like none of the others mattered.

  “Put your arms around me,” she whispered.

  He did, settling one hand on her lower back and burying the other in her hair. Beth gave in fully to her desire and deepened the kiss, gratified when he finally kissed her back. Thrill soared through her, and with a demand that shocked her, she explored his mouth
and curled her fingers around fistful of his hair, oblivious to everything but him. There was only Nick and this incredible sense of freedom, relief, and a dozen other wonderfully consuming emotions. Her heart pounded, and rational thought faded quickly, eradicated by the dizzying sensations.

  Before she lost control, she released his mouth and raised herself up a bit to smile down at him, sensing that it wouldn’t be wise to push it. Desire hazed his eyes in a most distracting way, dilating his pupils until his irises were thin rims of blue around deep pools of black. She pressed another light kiss to his lips, then smiled again.

  “Well?” she asked.

  “That was unexpected and delightful.”

  Her lips parted in a broad grin. “I guess that answers the question of whether or not there’s a physical chemistry between us to match the emotional one.”

  “It most certainly does. But… are you all right? No bad thoughts? No fear?”

  “None whatsoever.” Beth pulled her legs up on the bed and laid her head on his chest, unable to stop smiling. Sighing contentedly, she murmured, “I’m never afraid with you.”

  Thirteen

  He was getting used to the routine of turning assignments in and picking up new ones to work on, but he still would have preferred to be in class. Tad and other classmates made sure he had plenty of notes, but he was missing so much without participating in the discussions and labs. It didn’t help that he might never be allowed to return to class if he was convicted of the assault. Being as the charge was only misdemeanor assault, he’d have the opportunity to petition for re-admission the following year if he stayed out of trouble, but there was no guarantee his petition would be approved.

  Nick trotted down the steps of Main Hall with his newest assignments in hand and headed for his dorm room to get his bag and truck keys. He had a lunch meeting with Beth and Hal in fifteen minutes downtown to bring his lawyer up to speed with Trey’s antics. Because Hal had been out of town on other business, Nick had only been able to speak briefly with him over the phone about it in the week since Beth had gotten Dean Harris involved. Rob’s involvement had curtailed the harassment a little, but Trey still found ways to insult them, usually in the form of notes and crude drawings slipped under their doors in the middle of the night. Eric had been assigned community service for the slap. Rich had been informed that he would receive the same if Dean Harris heard that he’d said even one more word to either Beth or Nick.

  After the meeting with Hal, he and Beth would head home to Northstar for the weekend, and Nick was genuinely looking forward to their ride tomorrow. Most of the aspen still held on to their brilliant yellow leaves, and he and Beth planned to spend all day searching for the most spectacular grove and picnicking up at Baldy Lake. The weather was supposed to be beautiful—sunny with a few clouds—but even if it snowed on them, it’d still be better than staying here on campus to be taunted while Dean Harris wasn’t around to keep a leash on Trey and his friends. Hell, even two weekends ago, when he had been snowed on driving the herds down from the summer allotments, had been a welcomed respite.

  He glanced back at Main Hall, wondering again if he’d graduate on schedule in the spring and if it wouldn’t be better to throw in the towel and turn his attention instead to the ranch. It was very tempting, but he knew he’d spend the rest of his life regretting not finishing his degree because he hated to leave things unfinished.

  When he turned his gaze forward again, he stopped. Rich, Eric, and another of Trey’s friends Nick didn’t know blocked his path.

  “Where you going, Hammond?” Eric inquired, sneering.

  “Home. Excuse me.”

  “Uh-uh,” Rich said, stepping in front of him when he tried to walk around them. “You’re not getting away so easy this time.”

  Easy? “What is your problem with me? I get why Trey hates me, and believe me, the feeling is mutual. But you three? Are you going to be his lackeys the rest of your lives, or do you plan to start thinking for yourselves someday?”

  “I got ten hours of campus community service because of you,” Eric snapped. “Do you know how pissed my parents are?”

  “If you didn’t want to get into trouble, maybe you should have kept your hands to yourself.”

  “That wouldn’t be any fun,” a new voice said from behind him.

  Nick clenched his jaw and turned to find Trey standing far too close, smirking. “I cannot believe I was ever stupid enough to consider you a friend,” he snapped. “You are a truly sick, twisted son of a bitch.”

  He had to get out of here before the situation deteriorated from bad to terrible. The easiest route would be past Trey because he was certain the others would prevent him from going around them, and he started that way only to be jerked backwards by Rich.

  “Let… go,” he said, yanking his arm free.

  From the corner of his vision, he saw his brothers approaching on their way from Mathews to Main Hall for class. Dread weighed heavily on Nick as his concern switched from keeping himself out of trouble to keeping Aaron and Henry out of this mess. That’s all their family needed.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Aaron demanded.

  “Stay out of it,” Nick barked. “No point in you getting in trouble, too.”

  “Bullshit, Nick,” Henry retorted. “They want to pick a fight, we’ll even the tables on them.”

  “Please…” Nick begged. “Please stay—”

  Someone’s fist connected with his right shoulder, and pain shot through the joint. Another punch—from a different direction—landed on his jaw, snapping his head around. His self-control shattered. Every rational thought about keeping a cool head and not giving Trey anything else to use against him vanished, razed by pent-up anger and frustration. He punched Eric in the cheek, twisted and drove his elbow into Rich’s side. Before he could go after the third friend of Trey’s, Aaron and Henry grabbed his arms and jerked him back so hard he nearly lost his feet.

  “Right now would be a very good time to relax, bro,” Henry whispered. “The goddamned Vice Chancellor’s on his way over, and I’m pretty sure the only thing he saw was you hitting those two jackasses.”

  Ah, hell, Nick thought, regaining his balance and straightening. Disbelief at his bad luck and disgust at himself for taking the bait instantly chilled the fight in him, though it didn’t by any means eradicate it. Fury simmered beneath the surface, far too ready and willing to be called upon again.

  The white-haired, rail-thin Vice Chancellor’s face was frighteningly red by the time he reached them.

  “You! Mr. Hammond, right? I do believe you were allowed to remain on campus during your suspension with the condition that you stay a minimum of fifty feet away from Mr. Holt, and yet here you are fighting with him again! You’ll be lucky if you aren’t kicked off campus and expelled by nightfall.”

  Anger ignited again. “I didn’t—”

  “I saw you strike these two gentlemen with my own eyes, Mr. Hammond. Do not presume to tell me that my own eyes are lying to me.”

  “No, but I was—”

  “I don’t care what you were doing. Come with me, Mr. Hammond. We’re going to go have a talk with Dean Harris.”

  “Yes,” Nick snapped. “That sounds like a great idea. Maybe you’ll actually let me say I—”

  “Save it for Dean Harris.”

  Aaron stepped forward and said, “Sir, he didn’t start—”

  “You two had best come along. The rest of you… unless you have something to say, get on to wherever you’re going.”

  Nick stared as Trey and his friends walked away grinning triumphantly and snickering. Henry and Aaron tried repeatedly to explain to the Vice Chancellor what had transpired as the four of them walked across campus to JDC, but the man refused to listen, interrupting them every time. Nick didn’t bother trying to explain again and walked silently into Dean Harris’s office. Rob shot up from his chair and paused only half a second to inspect Nick’s face before he asked the girl manning the St
udent Life Office window to fetch him an ice pack.

  “Now what happened?” he asked.

  “Caught this one fighting with Trey Holt and three other boys just now outside Main Hall,” the Vice Chancellor replied, prodding Nick in the back. “Fortunately, these other two pulled him back before he could cause too much damage, but he managed to punch one of the boys and elbow another. I imagine they’ll be visiting you soon to report it.”

  “You should have brought them all to me.”

  “These two weren’t part of the fight, so I figured they’d be better witnesses.”

  Rob glanced between Aaron and Henry, then told the Vice Chancellor, “These other two are his brothers, and I imagine they pulled him out for his sake rather than the other boys’.”

  The Vice Chancellor looked surprise to learn that the twins were Nick’s brothers. The familial resemblance between the three of them was strong, and it was rare that people who didn’t know them didn’t immediately assume they were brothers. For whatever absurd reason, it struck Nick as funny. Was the man really that oblivious? He swallowed the laugh, however, figuring it was deeply inappropriate at the moment.

  “They hit first,” Henry said. “Rich got him in the shoulder—the one he dislocated—and Eric hit him in the face.”

  “Rich Hall? And Eric Rice?”

  “Yes, sir,” Aaron replied. “Nick didn’t hit first. He was trying to walk away when Rich grabbed his arm.”

  The girl brought the ice pack to Nick. He held it to his jaw, only now calm enough to notice that his face hurt. His shoulder did, too, and more than it should from a punch, and he hoped it hadn’t been reinjured. While he listened as Henry and Aaron recounted the fight, he tested the joint. Mercifully, everything worked as it should.

  “That’s not what I saw,” the Vice Chancellor said when Nick’s brothers had finished their tale. “I didn’t see those other boys hit Mr. Hammond, and I don’t believe they did. These two are just trying to keep their brother out of trouble.”

  “Did you actually see the whole thing, Dick?” Rob inquired. “Judging by the look of Nick’s jaw, I’d say he was hit, and since you didn’t see it, I think it’s safe to assume he was hit before you saw him throw that punch. Might you have missed some of what happened?”