Privileged

by Stevens, Madison

  Her face lit up, and I knew I had been wrong to mislead her.

  “Listen, Heather, you seem real nice, but I have to be honest. I like men.”

  Gavin’s arm slipped behind me in what I can only assume to be some sort of chest-beating gorilla-like behavior. I turned to give him the stink eye for rubbing it in.

  “And Emma, what do you think of the women in the story?”

  My head shot around to a very annoyed James. His eyes flicked between the three of us, wavering mainly between Heather and myself, eyes clouded with obvious lust.

  “I thought they were weak,” I said.

  James smiled, satisfied with my answer. “And why do you think Shelley wrote them that way?”

  I could feel my blood starting to boil and before I thought, my answer came out.

  “She wrote them that way to appease the men of the time. They couldn’t have a woman write one of the top horrors of that time and include strong female characters. It would be direct insult on their manhood.” I felt Gavin shake next to me, but I couldn’t seem to close my mouth. “So instead she had to bow to social expectations. But the last laugh was on them. The Creature only became what he did thanks to Frankenstein, and he continued that way because he didn’t have a woman to keep him in line.”

  James stared at me in shock and horror. That was not what he was expecting, and honestly, it wasn’t really what I was expecting.

  “Yes, well.” James blinked a few times and then moved across the room. “That’s an interesting interpretation.”

  “I’ll say,” Heather piped in.

  When I turned to look at her she gave a big wink.

  “Next week we’ll be discussing Dracula. Please read and be ready.”

  James stared at me warily from across the room.

  “Great,” I mumbled.

  “I thought you liked it,” Gavin said as he gathered his things.

  “I do, but I’m not so sure discussing it will work well.”

  “Are you worried about him?” Gavin gestured to James.

  Heather leaned across. “Don’t be. He’s a prick.”

  I snorted at her accurate description.

  “Yeah, but that prick could hurt my chances at getting an internship at a publishing company.”

  We walked out of class into the crowded hall.

  “You worry too much,” Gavin said.

  Heather looked between the two of us and smiled.

  “I’ve got to get to my next class,” she said and leaned in a little closer. “I understand it all now, and I’d still like to be friend.”

  I smiled and waved as she walked toward the front of the school. It was nice to make friends. My smile dipped slightly as I was reminded of Grace.

  As if conjured by just thinking her name, Grace appeared before me, two cups of coffee in hand.

  “I’m going to head off to class,” Gavin said and waved to Grace. “Go easy on her. She’s having a hard time.” He spoke close to my ear. The gentle rumble of his voice sent shivers down my spine. I nodded and walked to meet her.

  “I brought coffee,” she said meekly.

  As I took the cup, I studied her face. Despite her best efforts, it was obvious she had been crying for some time. Guilt ripped through me wondering if it was from our fight or the break-up. I had to assume a little of each.

  “Thanks.”

  We walked in silence to the big tree. The silence stretched as we settled in.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  Grace nodded, sadness etched on her features.

  “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “It all just came out wrong.”

  “I know,” I said and took a drink of the frothy coffee. “I’m just worried about you. You can be so many things and your parents shouldn’t decide.”

  I could see the look in her eye and knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere with this. It wasn’t our first time talking about this. I just needed to let it go. If Grace wanted to do what her parents said, there really wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  “So has he called?”

  Grace shook her head and looked down at her hands. I really didn’t know what to say. They had been so joined at the hip that it just seemed strange to see them apart.

  “I just don’t know what to do.” She sniffed. Her eyes started to pool with tears again.

  “Well I do,” I said and hopped up from my spot.

  Grace stared wide eyed at me as I extended my hand to help her up.

  “We’re going to do some good old-fashioned retail therapy.”

  “But you hate shopping.”

  Grace stood and eyed me suspiciously.

  “No, I hate the mall.” I glanced at my watch. “But it’s a Monday morning, and I doubt anyone but mall walkers will be out.”

  Grace hesitated to gather her things.

  “Oh come on,” I urged. “We’ll do a little shopping. Have a carb-loaded lunch with the biggest desert possible and bash on men.”

  “But what about class?” She glanced toward the school as if the dean was going to round the corner and give us a paddling.

  “It’s one day. I think we’ll be fine.” I reached down and picked up her stuff. “Live a little.”

  Something sparked in her as I handed over her bag.

  “Okay,” she said, with far more confidence than I expected. “Let’s do this.”

  * * *

  You know it was a good day shopping when you sit down on your bed and the bottoms of your feet throb from the abuse. Not that you mind because you have all sorts of wonderful things to keep yourself occupied.

  Best of all, the little shopping trip seemed to be just what Grace needed. Once again I had the chipper friend from before. Of course, I’d had to give in to going to a party this weekend. It so wasn’t my thing, but she had promised to go pre-breakup and that’s what friends do.

  I pulled out the new clothes I’d bought and blushed. They all looked great, which was more than a little surprising to me. Most were form fitting or dipped low but somehow worked on my small frame. I smiled and wondered if Gavin would like them on me.

  The chime of my phone shook me from my thoughts.

  I pulled it out of my purse and looked at the screen. Mom. Great. Just what I needed.

  I swiped across the front.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  I knew I sounded less than thrilled, but it wasn’t exactly like we left things in a good spot last time we talked. The talk where my mom and dad formed a solidarity compact and informed me that there was no way I would be majoring in English. To which I replied that I’d major in what I damn well wanted.

  No, this did not go well. They threatened to cut off my funding. I threatened to join a hippy commune and run around naked. I don’t think it would have been quite so bad if I hadn’t said I’d send all our friends holiday cards from my naked hippy commune. In the end nothing was really settled. All I knew was that this semester was paid, and my classes were the ones I picked. Not that it would have mattered. Thanks to Gran, I could pay for myself.

  I frowned. Actually, it was a little strange I hadn’t gotten a call sooner. They had both made it clear where they stood.

  “Oh, Emma, dear, I’m so glad to catch you.” My mother’s sweet business tone oozed through the phone.

  “Uh, me too.” I really didn’t know where to go with this.

  “Well listen, I know you’ve been out with Grace shopping.” My hand twitched at the assumption I’d need to go with Grace and the fact that she’s been spying on my credit card.

  “I can pay you back if you’d like,” I said, the irritation seeping through.

  “Oh don’t be silly. That girl has great taste and will know what would suit her brother best.”

  I scrunched my face in confusion.

  “I’m sure she does, but he wasn’t with us today.”

  “Well of course not.” Her haughty laugh pierced the phone. “What would a man like that do during all that time?”

  I shru
gged even though she couldn’t see it. Maybe she was drunk. It wouldn’t be the first time but normally she just cried and said she was getting old.

  “I won’t keep you darling,” she went on. “I just wanted to let you know that your father and I approve of your relationship. Henry Locke has always been an ass, and you’ll likely have a few run-ins with him but stand firm. His son would be lucky to get you after some of the stunts he’s pulled.”

  My knees gave out as I sank to the bed.

  “Mom,” I started.

  “Silvia didn’t seem thrilled when she mentioned it to me, but I’m sure she won’t be hard to win over.” Mom chuckled quietly. “I can help with that when she sees the shoot I just finished with.”

  “Mom, really,” I tried again.

  “Now your father isn’t thrilled, but he thinks you might be able to change the business practices when Henry is out of the picture. We realize this will be some time away, but after you two are married, you’ll be able to help influence things more.”

  “Mom!” I nearly shouted into the phone. “Gavin and I aren’t together.”

  “Oh good plan. Lay low until Christmas. They always have that big party and neither one will want to make a scene.”

  “No, you don’t seem to understand,” I said, gripping the phone tightly. “We really aren’t together.”

  My mother’s haughty laugh rang through again.

  “All right, darling. My lips are sealed. Give my love to Grace.”

  And just like that I was met with dead air.

  I fell back on the bed, the bags rustling around me. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. It seemed that in every direction I turned, something was pushing me toward Gavin. Still, things didn’t add up. Had Gavin told his mother we were together?

  My phone chimed as a text came through.

  The number wasn’t one I knew, but the text certainly was.

  Gavin: How is Grace?

  I really shouldn’t have been so surprised he had my number despite my never giving it to him. It’s not like he couldn’t afford the Internet searches. Getting my number wouldn’t be so difficult.

  Emma: Feeling much better after a day of shopping.

  Gavin: Can we talk?

  Emma: Sure.

  Gavin: Meet me outside in 15.

  I stared at the screen. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who had questions.

  Chapter Ten

  I paced on the stairs of the dorm, out in the crisp air. The trees had already started to lose their colorful leaves, and the musky smell of wet earth filled the air. Plastic pumpkins covered the ground lights, casting an eerie orange light across the yard.

  As I paced in the doorway, I watched the little puffs of warm air turn into a white cloud. It had already been nearly twenty minutes. Much longer and my fingers might fall off. As I turned to walk in, footsteps echoed behind me.

  “Sorry,” Gavin said.

  I turned as he mounted the steps. He had thought more about his jacket than I had and seemed warm and snug in his outfit. I scowled as I looked at his warm hands.

  “Wish I had known I would be waiting so long,” I said and tucked my cold hands under my arms.

  “It’s really not my fault.” He smiled sheepishly. “My mother asked Julia to bring over a few things, and she picked up a cake on the way.”

  Suddenly, the cold didn’t seem so cold. Heat worked its way up my face and spread to my hands.

  “Julia?” I asked as lightly as I could. My fingers twitched to hit something at the mention of her name. I had managed to go all this time at school neatly avoiding her except in passing.

  “Mother had lunch with her, and she just asked her to stop by,” he said.

  I snorted. Well at least we knew where the leak to the mother was. Julia wasn’t one to let someone like Gavin slip through her hands a second time. The woman was a vulture with a capital V. She had been like that for ages. As notorious as Gavin was for being ruthless, Julia was known for using whatever she had to in order to get her way. And I do mean whatever.

  She never did any of her own work, and if a teacher questioned this, they either found themselves the recipient of a fat paycheck or a little one on one in the janitor’s closet.

  To make matters worse, Julia had been my own personal nightmare through most of prep school. Aside from existing, there was really no reason for her hatred of me. I was just barely in her social circle, and she never seemed interested in being friends with Grace, so it wasn’t like I stole her BFF.

  But regardless, I was on her list. Never enough to warrant parent involvement but just enough that I knew it was her. Clothes in the trash during gym. Locker thrashed. Various strange rumors. Much to her annoyance, it didn’t seem to affect me much.

  “Well I’m sure it was a very informative lunch for your mother,” I said.

  A smile quirked at the corner of my mouth when he frowned.

  “You think Julia was the one to tell my mother?” He stepped closer to me.

  “I think it was the reason for the lunch,” I said sat on the stairs.

  Gavin sat next to me, his warm thigh snug against my own.

  “I know you two don’t get along,” he started.

  “No.” I turned to look at him. “She hates me, and I ignore her.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered and looked off into the distance.

  We sat in silence watching the wind sift through the trees in the forest.

  “You know,” he said after some time. “Sometimes I wish things weren’t so complicated.”

  “Maybe,” I said, still staring into the trees. “You shouldn’t let it get complicated.”

  Gavin sighed. I could hear the frustration mounting and knew we were back to the same debate as before.

  “Grace should really go see Chance,” he said abruptly.

  I turned to stare at him. His dark brow was furrowed in frustration.

  “I’m not so sure she should,” I said.

  Gavin turned to look at me. Our faces were so close I could feel his warm breath on me.

  “There are other factors at play here,” he said, his face hardening.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Like what?”

  “Our families have plans, and they know this.” His mouth tightened.

  “What the hell does that even mean?” I hopped up from the cold stair and stood in front of him.

  “It means that they knew what was happening and wanted it too. They can’t suddenly decide to back out now.”

  I stared in horror at the hardened robot before me. It was like I’d been tossed back into time where families were decided by their family connection and not by love. My stomach rolled as I processed this new information. All these years as friends with Grace, and it had never even once come up.

  “Is this how you think things should be?” Anger laced my every word. “You just have a little fun until it’s time to settle down with the right girl. Someone like Julia.”

  I turned and walked away from him before my hand snapped out and smacked him like it was itching to do.

  “No,” he said. “It’s not that way.”

  I whirled around to find him standing not far behind me.

  “Really?” I laughed a hollow sound that seemed to stick in my throat. “Because it certainly seems that way.”

  Gavin walked up and put his hands on both my arms just below the shoulder.

  “I didn’t make that deal. I choose to decide for myself.” His moss green eyes searched my own.

  “What is this?” I choked out. As much as I hated to admit it, our kiss had meant something. It had meant more than something.

  “Em.” My name came out like a tortured sound on his lips. He stepped back and ran a hand in his hair. “I like you. I have always liked you.”

  My eyebrows shot up in surprise. This was not the confession I was expecting to get. I sucked in deep breaths as my mind processed what he just said.

  Gavin paced back and forth in front of me. The
nervousness radiated off of him.

  “You’ve always been so different. Never doing things the normal way. It was no wonder Grace was drawn to you, we all were.” Gavin chuckled. “Do you remember when we first met?”

  I shook my head and noticed a touch of sadness in his look.

  “You must have been around ten. Your mother had just started to take pictures for the magazine, and you came to the house. You and Grace were instant friends.”

  I smiled. It had been a great day after a very hard few years. Grace was the light at the end of the tunnel and when Mrs. Locke had pushed to get me into the academy, things were finally starting to look up.

  “I had just gotten back from boarding school.” Gavin scowled as he looked out past me. “It hadn’t gone like my father thought it would. He wasn’t happy. I stormed out of his office and into the library. When you and Grace came skipping through, it was like the clouds had opened up and the sun came through.”

  I blushed at the analogy. Guilt course through me as I tried to remember our meeting, but nothing came. All I could remember was how great it felt to have a friend.

  “You stopped before leaving the room and raced over to hand me a piece of gum.” He stared at me with wonder. “It was as if you knew just how bad my day had been.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. It was coming back now and not quite the flowery way he was remembering it. I had skipped into the library and ran across Gavin, quiet and surly, a ball of rage sitting in the corner. My stomach had bottomed out. It seemed that everyone in the house had warned me about him.

  The boy was bad news they said.

  I had smiled nervously and fumbled in my pocket for a peace token. When my fingers hit the gum, I prayed that this would be enough to keep him away.

  Without allowing myself the chance to chicken out, I raced over, dropped the gum on his chest and fled the room.

  My heart twisted. Even our meeting was tainted by his past.

  I closed my eyes for a moment and steadied my heart. When I opened them, I tried not to concentrate on the pain that was reflected back.

  “I think,” I said quietly. “I should go inside.”

  Gavin closed the distance between us, his face just inches from my own.