Finding Home

by Meg Harding

  Healthy Blends was sandwiched between a hair and nail salon and a thrift store. Chase had a long-standing business arrangement with the former and was trying to get the owner of the latter—Margaret Jane—to stop hating him. Well, hate might be a strong word. But she certainly didn't like him.

  He had no idea why.

  She never smiled at him, wouldn’t say more than one word, and if he was working, she wouldn’t come into the store.

  His employees had all served her at least once when he wasn’t around.

  He didn't get it.

  Hilary Smith, the owner of the salon, tapped her long ice blue nails on his marble countertop as she waited for him to finish her employees’ lunchtime smoothies. The shop was empty other than her, so he was comfortable airing out his grievances—since just this morning Margaret saw him coming and literally walked the other way. “You’re missing the obvious here,” she said, her dark brown eyes sympathetic.

  He needed to turn the blender on, so he mulled over what the obvious could be while it did its thing.

  Chase was drawing a blank.

  He flicked the switch, and then poured the apple and mango mixture into a tall cup. “If I wore glasses, I’d be looking for them when they’re already on my face,” he said. More than once he’d asked the person he was talking on the phone to where he might have left his phone because he couldn't find it. Sometimes he was a little not with it. “I can’t figure it out. I’m always polite to her. I saw her at Publix once, and I held the door. I didn’t even say anything when she didn’t say thank you. And you know that’s a pet peeve of mine.”

  “Hun,” said Hilary, “she’s not all right with you being gay.” She pushed her dyed sandy blonde bangs out of her face. “She’s a douche. Don’t worry about her.”

  Chase honestly didn't know why he was surprised. He was no stranger to homophobia. To the stigma that followed being gay. He spent the first twenty years of his life enmeshed in it. The one good thing about his career coming to a crashing (literally) end was that he got to be himself. Eventually.

  “Oh,” he said, for lack of anything else. “Okay then.” He’d met a few people in Serenity who weren’t… fans of his lifestyle, per se. But he’d always viewed them as having tolerance. They didn’t dislike him. They just didn’t approve. And once, that would have chafed at Chase, but he didn’t need their approval. As long as they weren’t rude to him or anyone else, he’d ignore it.

  Hilary grabbed his wrist, stopping him from rubbing at his bum shoulder. Huh. He hadn’t realized he was doing so. “Chase, don’t dwell on it. Every time she comes in for a manicure, we overcharge her and stick the extra in your tip jar.”

  Chase had to laugh at that. “No, you don’t.”

  She smiled, wide and proud. She had a tiny gap between her two front teeth. “Oh yeah, we do.”

  He really shouldn’t be charmed. But he was. Knowing she had his back—she was willing to lose business for him—created a warm glow in his chest. He ducked his head to fit the lid on her smoothie so she couldn't see the feelings he was probably broadcasting bright as day in his expression. “How’s she not figured out you’re ripping her off yet?” He slid her drink over, and then turned to get to work on the next one.

  Hilary slurped on her smoothie before answering, probably because she knew the sound drove him crazy. “Everyone’s in on it.”

  Nothing in Serenity was a secret, so…. “How did I not know about this?”

  “We didn’t want you to know. If you knew, you’d tell us to stop.” She clicked her nails on the counter again. He waited. “We’re not going to quit. So, if you ask us to, the answer is no.”

  He organized the smoothies he’d already made into a carton for ease of travel. “You’re bullying an old lady. You do need to stop. I appreciate the show of support, but—” He cut off as the front door swung open, the bell over it chiming. It was a little difficult to make out Jaden’s features with the sun slanting in and slightly blinding Chase from this angle, but Chase could see enough. Jaden was nervous. When he spotted Hilary, he froze and looked like he was about to turn around and leave.

  Chase didn't want that. “Hey,” he said. “Hi.” He ignored Hilary’s raised brows. He was aware he couldn’t have been less smooth if he tried. “How’re you feeling?” When they’d dropped Jaden off the night before, they’d had to wake him again, he’d been practically drooling on Chase’s shoulder, and his skin was hot to the touch. The beach really took it out of him.

  Jaden stepped forward, the door glided shut. What skin was visible was red like a tomato. “I’m on fire,” he said. He walked stiffly as he came closer. “I took an ice bath this morning.”

  “Did you put aloe on last night like I told you to?”

  “I don’t have any.”

  Chase stared at him. “You mean you didn’t look for it?” He knew for a fact Lily-Anne kept aloe in her house.

  It was impossible to tell if Jaden was blushing or not. “Maybe.”

  Hilary cleared her throat, directing their attention to her. “I’ve got something next door. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll fix you right up?”

  “Uh,” said Jaden, the “who are you” left unsaid but clear on his face nonetheless. His dark blue gaze slid to Chase and then back to Hilary.

  Chase was willing to bet Hilary’s motives were not as selfless as they seemed—she was probably following the scent of gossip. “I’ve got a bottle in my office,” he said. “I’ll give it to him.”

  “You have aloe in your office?” she asked skeptically.

  “Yep.” And he wasn't even lying. A couple months ago he’d fallen asleep on the beach and he’d fried himself. He then stashed a bottle of aloe everywhere he spent any significant amount of time, so it’d always be handy. He never got around to destashing things. He slotted the last smoothie into the carton and pushed the whole thing toward Hilary. “Here you go. Tell everyone I said hey.”

  She couldn’t look more reluctant to leave if she tried.

  Jaden’s shoulders relaxed when she left, noticeably lowering. He had his hands shoved in the pockets of his knee-length khaki colored shorts. Chase bit back the urge to tell Jaden he should have become a golfer because he had the look down.

  How is he so fucking attractive when he’s totally not your type? Chase busied himself wiping the counter. He’d never gone in for the whole prep look, but there was just something about Jaden. He couldn't put his finger on what that something was, though. Jaden’s breathing was loud in the quiet of the room, and Chase felt extra aware of it. He scrubbed at a mysterious stain the counter had had for well over a year now. “You want a smoothie?”

  Jaden’s footsteps were slow as he crossed the room. Hesitant. “Um,” he said.

  Unable to help it, Chase found himself smiling. Much like the lip biting, Chase had come to realize “um” was yet another ‘tell’ of Jaden’s. It was his way of saying “give me a minute to formulate a response and another to get up the gumption to speak it.” Chase should probably find it annoying, but somehow he’d landed on cute. He gave Jaden the time he needed, moving on to cleaning the outside of the blender while he waited.

  “I don’t actually like smoothies,” said Jaden finally.

  Chase glanced over his shoulder at Jaden, who actually looked apologetic for not liking smoothies. As if that might be a deal breaker for their budding… friendship. Yeah, Chase would go with that word. He didn't have a better one. “Which must mean you’re here to see me.” And damn if that didn't make him feel all melty on the inside.

  Jaden picked at the label on the tip jar, and as Chase watched, he accidentally nudged it and the whole thing almost fell off the counter. There was a lot of noise as Jaden banged around trying to catch it, and a few coins spilled from it, clinking across the marble and onto the floor. “Son of a bitch,” muttered Jaden, and the tips of his ears practically started to glow. He wasn't visible as he crouched down, picking up the coins, when he said, “Yeah, I came here to talk
to you.”

  “Do you need help?” asked Chase.

  “No!” It was sharp and a little loud. “Sorry. No. I can clean this up.” He still wasn’t in sight. “I wanted to ask you about Friday night.”

  Chase’s heart skipped a beat. “What about it?” He leaned over the counter to stare at the top of Jaden’s bent head. His hair was fluffy and soft, no gel in it. Chase’s fingers shook with the desire to touch, and he folded his arms so he couldn't give in.

  Maybe sensing his gaze, Jaden looked up. His pupils were huge. He licked his lips. “Was that a date? I know I hadn’t told you I was… gay. But did you guess? Or am I reading too much into things? I wasn’t going to ask, because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t, but it’s bugging me. So I am. Asking, that is.”

  Chase knew panic when he saw it. He came around the counter and grabbed Jaden’s shaking hands, pulled him up. The last thing he wanted was for Jaden’s breathing to turn rapid and there to be a repeat of the attack he had the day before. The change Jaden had collected spilled once more, dropped this time. Chase led him to one of the tables, prodding him to take a seat. He took the one across from Jaden. “If it was a date, I’d have let you know.” If he’d known at the time Jaden was gay, it would have been a date.

  “Oh,” said Jaden, and there was definitely an undercurrent of disappointment. That or Chase’s wishful thinking had gotten out of hand.

  Chase remembered one of his peewee coaches saying to him, “If you want something and you don’t go for it because you’re scared, then you’re making a dumb decision.” By those standards, Chase had made a lot of dumb decisions in his life. Especially these last several years. He sucked in a deep breath, let it out in a rush. “But if you’re willing, I’d like to take you out sometime. On a date.” Jaden blinked multiple times, slowly. Chase let him mentally digest. He studied the freckles on the bridge of Jaden’s nose, new and discolored beneath his sunburn. Jaden’s poor nose would peel something awful in a day or two. Don’t forget to give him the aloe, Chase.

  “I’m leaving,” said Jaden. “I’m not staying in Serenity.”

  Chase’s heart did this weird squeezing thing. “I know,” he said. He thought of football and how he was glad for the time he did have playing it. Jaden obviously wasn't football, but maybe the same principle applied. Just because this would be short-lived didn't mean he shouldn’t go for it. If anything, it was healthier. He knew in advance it wasn’t for the long haul. He couldn't be disappointed at the end.

  “And you still want to…?”

  Chase nodded, his mind made up. “I do.”

  Chapter 9

  “I do.”

  Time didn't slow down to give Jaden a minute to think of the perfect response, to properly analyze what he'd do next. If anything, time sped up. Raced ahead at warp speed. Jaden’s heart was pounding so hard he swore he could hear it. “I’d like that.” Those words left Jaden’s mouth, and they hung in the air between them. Jaden had been separated for not even three months, and he was agreeing to go on a date with a man who resembled a Greek God. A man who was absolutely nothing like his ex-husband, in looks or in attitude. He’s so far out of my league, but yet he wants to go on a date with me. Holy shit.

  Jaden pinched himself, because surely this was a dream brought on by Zane’s talk at the beach the day before.

  The pinch hurt his sunburned skin like hell, and he was still sitting in Healthy Blends with a surprised and smiling Chase staring at him.

  Not a dream, then.

  “How about Wednesday?” asked Chase. “After my morning class. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go out.”

  Jaden didn't know what he was doing. He could back out of this now, but the thought made his stomach roll and his chest ache. “All right.” Oh my god. What did he do now? Should he order a smoothie or make his excuses and leave? He didn't remember these situations being so stressful when he was younger.

  Granted Drew hadn’t asked him out. They’d been friends, and then one day Drew leaned over and kissed him. “We’re good together,” he said, and that was that. At the time, Jaden agreed. It was all very anticlimactic. No sparks when they kissed and no overwhelming, sweeping emotions. Jaden had thought Drew was safe.

  Jaden didn't think Chase was safe at all.

  “I’m…. I’ve got to go. I told Elliot I’d help him today.” He stood.

  Chase rose as well. “Can you hold on? I’ve got some aloe in my office I want to give you.”

  “All right,” he said again.

  Chase didn't look put off by Jaden’s awkwardness as he disappeared through the Employees Only door. Jaden shoved his hands in his pockets while he waited, locking his knees so he didn't rock from his heels to his toes. This was the right decision. Deep beneath the fuck damn what did I just do terror was a core of rightness. A warm feeling he hoped would spread and block out the rest eventually.

  Chase returned with a clear plastic bottle with colorless gel bubbles inside it in his hand. He stopped in front of Jaden, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “The sun gave you freckles,” he said, grinning. He brought his free hand up, index finger covered in the clear gel, and dragged it along the arc of Jaden’s cheekbone, the ridge of his sore nose.

  Jaden hissed in a breath and held it. The gel was alarmingly cool and Chase’s touch was somehow intimate. Like he was tracing the freckles rather than trying to make sure Jaden’s face didn't peel off in a day.

  “There.” Chase pulled away, wiping his palm on his pants. He handed him the aloe. “I’ll let you apply this everywhere else.” His smile went crooked, and then he leaned in, brushing a soft, barely there kiss over Jaden’s lips. He didn't even give Jaden enough time to respond, to do more than gasp in shock, before he distanced himself.

  Jaden licked his lips, chasing the faint taste of Chase—tea and mint—that lingered.

  “Have a good day, Jaden. I’ll text you later.”

  His voice deserting him, Jaden nodded in response and then, because he was an absolute dork, he waved as he left. It was like saying peachy all over again.

  He nearly startled out of his skin when the woman from earlier poked her head out from around the door of the neighboring salon. “Hi there.” Her grin was wide, and Jaden felt like a guppy cornered by a shark. The door clicked shut behind her.

  “Uh, hey.” Would it be rude to walk away? Yes.

  “So you’re the man who’s got Chase all flustered, hmm?” She looked him up and down, gaze assessing. “I’m Hilary, a good friend of his.”

  Jaden was starting to feel like everyone was a “good friend” of Chase’s. He shoved his free hand into his pocket and nodded. “Jaden. Nice to meet you.”

  “You’re the other Bannister. From New York, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  She tapped her long nails on the brass door handle. “Chase doesn’t get out a lot around here. Don’t go hurting him.”

  Jaden wanted, fiercely, to understand why everyone thought he’d be the one hurting Chase. “I’m not going to hurt him.” Jaden had been perfectly up front about what this was, and as Hilary pointed out, Chase didn’t have many options in Serenity. They were convenient.

  Where are you? Jaden texted Phoenix when he got back to his grandmother’s house. He was reeling from Chase’s kiss and Hilary’s ambush, but seeing Chase and clearing things up wasn’t the only thing on his agenda today. He was supposed to go into the gym, but he’d finally gotten the gumption to ask some questions about his family, and he wanted to run with it before his courage sputtered out. Before his time in Serenity ran out. He’d chosen Phoenix because Jaden was most comfortable with him. Phoenix radiated calm, and his presence was soothing. Jaden would need that.

  He let Magneto into the yard while he waited, and then refilled his bowl while Magneto wasn't around to try and knock it from his hands.

  Unlike in the city, there was no traffic noise here. No wailing sirens, honking horns, or shouting. The suburbs Jaden and Drew lived in on the outskirts had been quie
ter comparatively, but loud with the sounds of kids and people coming and going. Jaden was used to those kinds of noises after years of working and living in New York. What he wasn't used to was the steady buzz of crickets, the squawking of big birds, the croaking of what sounded like a million frogs.

  He felt like he was stuck listening to one of those sleep aid CDs on repeat.

  The ringing of his phone was jarring. It was Phoenix. Through the rear porch window, he could see Magneto rolling in the grass, flat on his back with his long legs flailing. His white fur would be stained. Yay. He swiped to accept the call. “Hey.”

  “Hey. I’m at the shelter. Did you need something?” He sounded distracted, a little breathy. A dog barked in the background and Phoenix cursed, said, “If you’d hold still, this bath would go much faster.”

  Magneto dug at something, nose buried in dirt. Jaden headed over to stop him. “I can call back if you’re busy,” he said, hating the relief he felt at the sign of an out. He wrapped his fingers around Magneto’s collar and tugged, planting his feet wide.

  “Nah, now is fine. It’s bath day. I like to say I’m an optimist, but this isn't going to get any easier as the day goes on.”

  “Ah.” Jaden bodily shoved Magneto away from what he now knew was an ant colony. “I wanted to talk to you. Would it be okay if I came over? I can help. I’ve got plenty of experience with a stubborn, clean resistant dog.”

  Phoenix chuckled. “Sure. Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’ll see you soon.” Having this conversation over the phone would be taking the easy way out. Jaden needed to learn to stop doing that.

  He’d been to the shelter once before, when Phoenix was showing him around. It was a massive converted barn off to the side of a large farm house. Behind the house and the barn was Phoenix’s wildlife conservation area. It was acres and acres of high fencing and caging, big pools, sprawling space, and wooden structures. He parked beside Phoenix’s work truck and headed for the barn. The enclosures closest to the house were home to rehabilitated raccoons, squirrels, and the like. Small animals that had suffered injuries, meaning life in the wild would be short.