Think Again

by Isabel Lucero

  It really didn’t take the movers long to get everything inside, considering I didn’t have much to begin with. Soon, they’re climbing back into the truck and taking off. The three of us head inside and re-arrange a few things, and then put the dishes away. After I put some clothes into my dresser, and put the comforter set on the bed, I flop onto the couch.

  “I’m hungry, and I just realized I don’t have any food.”

  “We can order something,” Chris suggests. “What do you ladies want?”

  “Pizza?” Jan says.

  Me and Chris laugh. Pizza is quickly becoming “our thing.”

  “Pizza is fine with me,” I answer.

  “Me too. I’m ordering from Sicily’s,” Chris says as he grabs his phone and starts calling. “I programed their number in here. Don’t judge.”

  “No judgment,” I say with a chuckle.

  “Yeah, I’m not judging. I program all kinds of numbers in my phone,” Jan adds.

  The pizza arrives along with some soda, and the three of us stuff our faces while watching a DVD of Black Mass. Chris brought it over, because he knows I don’t have cable yet, but I do have a TV and DVD player.

  “Well, I guess I’m gonna head out,” Jan announces after the movie’s over.

  I look at the time on my phone and see that it’s only seven, so I know she’s just trying to give me and Chris some alone time.

  “You sure?” I ask, because I really don’t mind if she stays. We’ve all had a good time together today.

  “Yeah. I should get back to my cat before she has an attitude.”

  “Doesn’t she always have an attitude?” I ask with a laugh.

  “Oh, yeah. She’s a bitch for sure. But what can you do?”

  We all laugh and I walk her to the front door. “You drove my car here, so take it back to your place and I’ll have Chris drop me by in the morning or something.”

  “Okay. Have fun,” she whispers, wiggling her brows. “Bye, Doc! Nice hanging with you!” she shouts over my shoulder.

  “You too,” he answers with a laugh.

  I shut the door and walk back over to Chris. Once on the couch, I snuggle into his side and he wraps his arm around me.

  “This is nice,” I say after a minute of silence.

  “It is,” he agrees, kissing the top of my head. “Are you excited about your first night in your own place?”

  “I am,” I reply, readjusting myself and sitting Indian style, facing him. “It might feel a little weird at first, but after staying with Jan for this past week, it’s gonna be nice to sleep in my own bed and have my own space.”

  “You could’ve stayed with me and slept in a bed at my place.”

  “I know, but I feel like this is the beginning of us, where we’re just now able to date, and to move in with you for a week would be weird, right?”

  He chuckles. “It’s not moving in, it would’ve been more like an extended sleepover, but I understand.”

  I sigh. “I know I’m not officially divorced yet, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. More specifically, like one hundred and eighty five pounds,” I say with a laugh. “It feels good to be stress and worry free.”

  Chris smiles, but doesn’t say anything right away, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Before I get the chance to ask, he tells me, and that’s one of the things I love about him. He doesn’t leave me to worry or wonder about things. He’s straightforward and tells me what he’s thinking.

  “Aria, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, so bear with me for a sec.” I nod, waiting nervously for him to continue. “I love being with you, whether it’s here, at my place, or at work. Being with you brings me all the happiness I could need, and I look forward to spending more time with you. I feel like I know you so well already, but I’m sure there are still things for me to learn, and I hope that I get to. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, but I don’t mean that based solely on your outer beauty, because you’re so much more than that. You’re a beautiful person on the inside. Watching you with the patients shows me just how caring you are. You’re patient, nurturing, and kind. There’s so much about you that I like, your humor and quick wit included,” he says with a wink.

  “But I also realize that this is the first time you’re going to be single in a long time. You’ve only had two relationships in your whole life, and while I’d love to be your third and last, I would understand if you wanted time to yourself. I get if you don’t want to jump from a marriage to another relationship. So, you tell me if you need some time and space, and I’ll give it to you. Not because I want to, but because I want whatever will make you happy.”

  His words flow through me, filling me with a bliss I haven’t felt in a long time, if ever. The feeling of my desires being put first, and being thought of with such adoration warms me up and sets my heart on fire. Chris has always sparked something within me, and while at first I believed it to be strictly his looks and charm that got to me, I know now that it’s because he’s genuinely a good person. He cares about me, and there’s not much else in the world that compares to a man who truly cares about how you feel, who wants to put your needs first, even if that means giving up something he himself desires.

  “Chris,” I say in a voice above a whisper, “I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Your words,” I pause, placing a hand on my chest, “they touch my heart. I really like you, and though I’m going through a major life changing event, I don’t want to stop seeing you. It’s not like I was dying for the single life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship either, but sometimes things happen when you don’t expect them to. I wasn’t expecting you to come into my life and show me everything I never knew I was missing. Needing. Wanting.

  “Until I began thinking Aaron was cheating on me again, I thought I was happy. And I guess I was to an extent, but my time with you has shown me that I didn’t really know what happiness was. You may not realize it, but just talking to me and asking about my day, and noticing little things about me has made me happy. Cooking dinner for me, and taking care of me when I was hurt, those things meant a lot. It’s cliché to say, but it truly is the little things that matter, and you make me feel like I matter.”

  He shifts his body to face me, grabbing my hands in his and bringing them to his mouth to kiss. “You do matter. You should always feel like you matter.”

  My smile is unstoppable as I gaze into his beautiful eyes. “You want to have a sleepover?” I ask.

  Chris gives me a heart-stopping smile. “I should warn you, I sleep naked.”

  With a smirk, I reply, “I wasn’t thinking about sleeping.”

  He growls before pouncing on me, devouring my mouth with his.

  When we make it upstairs and into my bedroom, he quickly pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his drool-worthy body. I follow his lead, stripping my clothes off hastily, both of us in a hurry to be skin to skin.

  On the bed, he starts to tear open the condom wrapper, but I stop him. “Lay down.” It’s a whispered command that he agrees to.

  With both of us already stripped of our clothes, I crawl in between his legs, and lick my lips in anticipation of what I’m about to do. His groan spurs me on, making me want to please him with my mouth—something I’ve yet to do.

  Leaning down, I lick the length of his shaft, prompting him to let out a lust-filled moan. I wrap my fingers around his thick cock, stroking it a few times before covering the tip with my mouth and slowly taking him as deep as I can.

  The sounds he makes; the grunts, groans, and curse words, turn me on while I switch between licking and sucking him into my mouth and stroking his length with my hands. I twirl my tongue around his head while stroking the shaft, and I can already feel the wetness between my legs. I need to have him inside of me.

  “Come on, baby. Get on top of me,” he states, reading my mind. “I want you to ride me.”

  He grabs the condom wrapper again, removing the latex and rolling it on.
I straddle his hips and take his length in my hand to guide him inside of me. After I take a few seconds to adapt to the feel of him being this deep, I begin to move, grinding myself on him. His hands squeeze my thighs before moving to my ass, and then my hips. It’s like he wants to touch me everywhere all at the same time, and I certainly don’t mind.

  When he touches my breasts, I lean over him, and he takes one into his mouth. I throw my head back and moan as I enjoy the feel of his tongue gliding over my hardened bud. He shows attention to the other one, and my movements never stop. I rise up slowly, until just the head is inside me before I slide back down. I do this a few times, loving the way it makes him groan and squeeze his eyes shut.

  “God, Aria. You’re so good. You feel so fucking good.”

  I ride him hard and fast while he holds onto my waist. My hands rest on his hardened abs, and the friction feels good against my clit. My orgasm builds and builds, taking me higher.

  “Chris,” I moan.

  “Yes, baby. Let me feel it,” he says, knowing I’m close.

  “God,” I grunt, moving faster, needing to get to the peak. Once I’m there, my fingernails dig into his skin as a guttural scream is ripped from my throat. The orgasm hits me hard and feels like it’s never going to end. “Yes,” I pant. “Oh my god.”

  “Fuck, I love hearing you come.”

  With one quick movement, we’re flipped over and he’s thrusting inside me with vigor. My head hits the headboard, and I have to brace myself with my hands on the wood so I don’t keep hitting it over and over. Our noises—reflections of our pleasure—fill the room, and our bodies writhe together as we reach ecstasy.

  My chants change between yes, yes, yes, and fuck, fuck, fuck, as he moves in and out at a steady pace. I look up into his gorgeous face and see him squeeze his eyes closed before every muscle in his body tightens and he bellows into the room as he comes.

  Once he comes down from his orgasm, we pull apart and lie side by side on the bed.

  “I’m glad we were able to christen this room,” I say with a small laugh.

  “We’ll christen all the rooms, baby. Just wait,” he says with a wink before sitting up and pulling the condom off. I ogle his toned body as he walks to the bathroom to throw it away. When he gets back, he joins me under the covers, and we talk for hours. We make plans for tomorrow, and days beyond tomorrow. We laugh so much that my stomach starts to hurt and tears stream down my face. Conversation with him flows fluidly, never becoming awkward or strained, and we keep finding more things we have in common.

  The only time we stop talking, is when we start communicating with our bodies instead. We do this into the night, and eventually fall asleep wrapped around each other. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in a while.

  When Chris and I wake up, we get ready and head out to eat at IHOP, and I make a mental note to go grocery shopping soon. While we eat, we decide we want to travel to Palmer to visit the reindeer farm. The drive is just under an hour, but road trips in Alaska are the best you can have, and the trip to Palmer goes by relatively quickly.

  The clouds hang low in the sky, and the weather is a bit cool, but it’s still beautiful out here. The backdrop is stunning, with snow-capped mountains, and thick, green trees. As we enter the little cabin area, we’re joined by several other people who are here to enjoy the tour. A woman with long, wild hair begins to tell us about the animals they have here.

  “Reindeer are just domesticated caribou. Does anybody know any famous reindeer?” she asks, aiming the question at a few kids.

  “Rudolph! Prancer!” they shout excitedly.

  The rotund lady laughs. “Yep! Unfortunately, these ones don’t fly. However, both the males and females have antlers. Right now, they’re what we call ‘in velvet’, meaning their antlers are still furry and soft, and are a living mass of blood and marrow. Try not to touch them, because they are very sensitive until they harden. Now, you’ll each get a cup of feed. Just pour a small amount in your palm and they’ll come and eat it out of your hand. Once your cup is empty, though, make sure you hide it or come give it to me, because they know what’s in those cups, and they’ll follow you around.” She laughs as she hands us multi-colored cups full of food. “If you need boots, we have several pairs you can borrow, because it is a little muddy out there.”

  “I’ve never been in a pen with large animals before,” Chris says quietly into my ear as we’re led out to the animals. “It’s kind of nerve-wracking.”

  I can’t help but laugh. I’ve been out here several times, so I know what to expect, and Chris hasn’t lived in Alaska long, so the whole wildlife aspect of it all is new to him.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.”

  The tour host hears him. “Don’t fret, honey, they only have bottom teeth. The top is just a bony plate to help grind food.”

  Chris shoots me a look. “Does that mean they try to bite?”

  I bark out another laugh. “No. Come on,” I say, pulling on his long sleeve so he can follow me.

  Most of the reindeer are hovering near the gate where we enter, knowing they’re about to get fed, and several more are further out, grazing. After we make our way through, we approach a reindeer who stands alone, and I instruct Chris to pour the food in his hand.

  “Just make sure your palm is as flat as possible.”

  The reindeer begins nibbling at his hand, taking the food, and Chris looks over at me and smiles a boyish smile. My heart flutters and I smile back, feeding another reindeer that approached when he saw we had food.

  “I like this one,” Chris says, pouring more food in his hand for the reindeer.

  “They all look the same,” I say with a laugh.

  “I think this one likes me, though.”

  “Yeah, because you’re feeding it.”

  “Is that why you like me? Because I feed you?”

  “Of course,” I say with a giggle, throwing him a wink.

  He makes a face at me before turning his attention back to his favorite reindeer.

  “See, we have a connection,” he states as the reindeer rubs up against his side. He pours more food into his hand and the reindeer quickly gobbles it up.

  I’m feeding two different reindeer, but I hear an unmistakable sound and turn to watch Chris and his reindeer, and burst out laughing.

  “Uhh,” I say, pointing at the back of reindeer.

  He looks and makes a face. “She’s shitting while eating out of my hand?”

  I laugh, hearing her poop pebbles falling to the ground. “She really likes you. So much so that she feels comfortable using the bathroom in front of you.”

  “I’m not ready for this relationship level,” he says, talking to the reindeer. “I’m sorry.”

  I shake my head with a smile on my face and turn my attention back to my animals. Me and Chris quickly run out of food and have to hide our cups while we go put them back on the deck. The reindeer follow us for a little bit until they come across some more people who have food to give out.

  We spend some more time feeding a moose they have on the land, and looking at the thirty-five rocky mountain elk that are fenced elsewhere. Right as we’re finishing up feeding the elk through the fence, it starts to sprinkle, so we hurry back to the car and start the drive back to Anchorage. In the car, Chris rests his hand on my thigh, and even though it’s such a small gesture, it makes me smile. I rest my hand on top of his and he glances over and smiles at me before bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. God, this man.

  “So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?” he asks.

  I look at the clock and see that it’s already almost two. “Well, I need to go grocery shopping,” I say, making a face. “I hate grocery shopping.” He chuckles. “After that, I don’t know. Just get ready for work tomorrow.”

  “Well, while you have fun doing that,” he says with a laugh, “I’ll be making a phone call to my parents. I haven’t talked to them since I first got here, and I received a me
ssage from my mother asking if I was dead.”

  I laugh. “Then I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear from you. I guess I should talk to my parents soon, too. Inform them about some things.”

  He looks over briefly. “Do you think they’ll be upset?”

  “Nah,” I answer, shaking my head. “They got divorced, so it’s not like they’re against it or anything,” I say with a chuckle. “I just don’t want to have the whole detailed conversation with the both of them. I’ll come up with a cliff notes version.”

  He squeezes my hand gently, and on the way back home, I fall asleep.

  “Aria. Aria.” Chris’s voice wakes me up.

  I look around, briefly confused until I see we’re at my place. “Oh. I slept the whole way?”

  He smirks. “Yep.”

  With a stretch, I say, “I’m sorry. Somebody wore me out last night. Guess I’m still exhausted.”

  “That somebody should be proud of himself.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he is,” I reply with a grin.

  Chris just smiles back at me, looking like the cat who ate the canary. “Call me later?”

  “Of course.”

  We lean in and kiss goodbye before I exit the car and head inside. I elect to take a nap before going to the grocery store.

  When I wake up, it’s because my phone won’t stop ringing. It takes me a minute to shake the sleep from my head and find the phone. My eyes are still half closed as I bring it to my ear.

  “Hello?” I answer with a croaky voice.

  Silence.

  Not again, I think to myself.

  “Hello?” I say again, this time more stern.

  “Aria.”

  My eyes enlarge, and I’m suddenly wide awake. “What do you want?”

  “I . . . I need you to come over. I need you,” Aaron’s voice is broken, and my stomach twists at the sound.

  “What is going on, Aaron?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice sounds like a mix between him crying or being drunk. Maybe both.

  “Aaron, what is wrong?” I ask, sitting up.

  “I did something so stupid,” he says softly.