She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.

by Allana Walker

  “No, Dad.”

  “You’re working late,” Lillia says, between bites of her second Baconator. How the hell she could eat two of those is beyond me.

  “Ah.” Dad blushes. Actually blushes. “I was on a date.” He looks behind him towards a woman around his age with red hair sitting waiting for him to be finished.

  “Way to go, Mr. Hunt.” Lillia whoops. “She’s stunning.”

  “It’s early days, but I feel I’m getting my second chance with her.” He smiles.

  “Sally?” I ask. He nods his head.

  “Who’s Sally?” Lillia stands beside us.

  “My lost love.”

  “Is everything okay, Emmett?” a woman’s voice says.

  I look around and I’m stunned. She’s as beautiful as my dad described.

  “Sally, this is one of my sons, Tristan, and my daughter-in-law, Lillia.” Lillia gasps at his title for her but doesn’t correct him. She’s practically his daughter; she’s having his grandbaby, after all.

  I shake her hand. Her eyes widen slightly when she looks up at me. “Wow. You look just like your father when he was your age.”

  “So I’ve been told.” My mom’s words come unbidden into my head. You look and act exactly like your father. You’re nothing to me.

  “Better than that dragon of a mother,” Lillia mutters then slaps a hand over her mouth like she wasn’t meant to say that out loud. “Oops.”

  “Baby, we know your feelings about my mother.” I chuckle, remembering Lillia slapping her in my hospital room. “Okay, well, we’ll leave you to your date.” I turn to Dad, taking Lillia’s hand in mine.

  After saying goodbye to Dad, we drive along the highway. “Where are we going now?” Lillia asks.

  “A surprise.” I take a left and drive another five minutes and park.

  “You brought me to make-out lane?” Lillia tries to look angry about the fact, but I can see the amusement in her eyes.

  “Well, we’re starting again, right? I would bring you up here if we were sixteen and on our first date after Wendy’s.” I jump out of the car and open her door, helping her out. I lead her to the back of my truck and open the flat bed to reveal a blanket and pillows.

  “Tristan.” She gasps. I hop up and hold my hand out to help her up. We lie down and stare up at the twinkling winter night’s sky.

  “I love you, Lilly. Always have and I think I always will.” I play with her hair. “I just never thought I could be the man you deserve.”

  “Why, Tristan?” She lifts her head to look at me. “What did your mom do to you that made you feel like you couldn’t love?”

  “That’s a story for another time.”

  “I want to know, Tristan. I mean, I know she used to leave you and Aiden to go out and fuck other men. But she seems so loving and she’s the doting mother to Aiden, but she’s mean to you.”

  Let her in.

  “Mom hates me. Always has.” I sigh, staring up at the sky. “She blames me for her getting pregnant and being forced to marry Dad.”

  “What? You asked to be born, did you? It doesn’t make sense. Surely she’d blame Aiden too. You’re twins.”

  “Yeah, you would think.” I let out a humorless laugh. “Aiden was always the golden child. He was smart; a grade A student. And looked nothing like my dad. She used to take Aiden places and leave me with my grandma while they went to the zoo, the park, or shopping. He got all the hugs, the kisses. Everything a mother does with a child.” I look down at her. She has tears falling down her cheeks. I reach over and wipe her tears away. “I used to get in so many fights at school just to get her attention, longing for her to just reach out and love me the same way she loved Aiden.” A tear slips from my eye. I’m reverted to that little boy who longed for his mother’s love. Lillia crawls up my side and places both hands on my face.

  “She doesn’t deserve the word mother. A mother loves unconditionally.” She sniffs. “I love you, Tristan. Our child will love you. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be an amazing father to our baby because you had a great role model in your father.” She leans down and kisses me lightly on the lips.

  “As long as I have you by my side, I will be the best father I possibly can.” I kiss her back.

  Waking up early the next morning, I look over to a sleeping Lillia. Once we got back from stargazing and me spilling some of the things my mom used to do to me, we came back to her place. As soon as we climbed into bed, she crashed out. I watched her sleep for a while before falling into a peaceful sleep.

  After my shower, I lean down and peck her lightly on the lips. It’s my first day back at work. She stirs a little, groaning and opening one eye.

  “Morning, beautiful.” I run my nose down hers.

  “What time is it?” Her voice is thick with sleep and sexy as hell.

  “A little after seven. I need to get into the office early to check a few emails.” I kiss down her neck, making her moan.

  “I’ll cook dinner tonight,” she says.

  “Okay,” I whisper against her collarbone.

  “Tristan. Slow.” She breathes out. We agreed to take things slowly. I did joke that it was a little late for taking things slow, indicating to the growing bump.

  “You’re right.” I jump up, sporting a raging stiffy. “I’ll see you tonight.” I bend, kissing her again.

  “Love you,” she whispers.

  “Love you too, Lilly.”

  “Morning, Tristan.” Erin smiles, handing me a pile of notes.

  “Hey,” I say, without looking at her. I’m too busy looking at my phone. Since leaving Lillia, I’ve become anxious. I shoot out a text. The third of the morning since I left her.

  I miss you. Xx

  I don’t have to wait long for a reply.

  We miss you too. Xx

  We? Who the fuck is we?

  We?

  When she doesn’t reply right away, I call her. It goes straight to answerphone. I hang up and try another three times. The fourth time I call, she answers.

  “Hey.” She sounds out of breath.

  “Why are you out of breath?” It comes out a little harsher than I intended.

  “Tristan. It’s eight-thirty a.m. I was in the shower. And in case you have forgotten, I’m twenty-one weeks pregnant.”

  “Who did you mean by we?” I snap.

  “Me and the baby. What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m sorry. I just miss you, that’s all.” I sigh. I need to get a handle on my temper and jealousy.

  “It’s okay. I miss you too. I’m going out with Avery later.”

  “Okay. Look after yourself while you’re out.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  “Love you too.” I hang up and try to get on with my mountain of work.

  I’m finally finished for the day. I walk into Lillia’s room and see a suitcase open with some clothes in it. Tilting my head, my eyebrows pinched, I look at Lillia, who walks out of her closet with a pile of clothes in her hands.

  “Hey.” She walks over to the suitcase, placing the clothes in.

  “Going somewhere?” She turns her head, a confused look etched on her features. I point to the suitcase. Realization floods over her face.

  “Yeah. I have to go back to New York,” she says, zipping up the case. She lifts it, placing it on the floor.

  “Why?”

  “I’m needed. We have a big convention coming up. They need all hands on deck.” She busies herself, grabbing her antenatal vitamins and other toiletries.

  “When were you going to tell me?” I ask, watching her every move.

  She stops and turns around with a confused look on her face. “I only found out ten minutes ago. You were driving. I didn’t want to distract you.” She looks down. “I just couldn’t risk it.”

  I gather her up in my arms, sighing. “I’ll come with.”

  “No, Tristan,” she says too quickly.

  “Why not?” I hold her at arm’s length to see her face.r />
  “Because you have your own work going on.” She tilts her head slightly with creased brows. “You need to stay here.”

  “I can get an extension and help you move back here.” I offer her a smile. She steps out of my reach. “You are moving back here, right?”

  “I don’t know.” She starts playing with her necklace. “It’s all moving so fast, Tristan.”

  “But we’re having a baby, Lilly.” I start to pace. “I want to be with you and the baby. I could move to New York with you.” I look at her hopefully.

  “Tristan, can we just take a step back?” Her voice is small. “I will move back, I promise. Just not right now. I need to sort out a few things back in New York then we’ll talk about this.”

  I run my hand through my hair and a million different scenes play in my head. “What things do you have to sort out? Is there someone in New York you need to tell about me? That you’ll be coming home to?” I fire questions at her.

  “Tristan, there’s been no-one else.” She closes her eyes and sighs. “I meant I need to sort out my job, and my apartment. Say goodbye to my friends.” She’s standing in front of me now, looking up at me with glistening green eyes. Her hand comes up and rests on my cheek. Closing my eyes, I relish the feel of her soft hand on my rough, day-old stubble. “I love you. I’ll be back before you know it.” I feel her soft lips on mine.

  I can’t help myself, I have to have her. Spearing my fingers into her hair, I pull her as close as possible and kiss her deeply. I swallow her moans, walking her back until her legs hit her bed. Laying her down gently, I run my hand down her side to her hip. My finger lightly traces the waistband of her jeans, popping the button, never breaking the kiss. I slide my hand inside her panties; she’s already wet for me. Brushing her clit lightly, I insert one finger, causing her to moan and lift her hips. I move my mouth down to the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder, where I know gets her wild.

  “Shit.” She gasps as I nip the soft flesh. Her fingers are in my hair, pulling a little. My dick strains against my slacks, begging me to let him free and fuck her raw. I apply pressure to her clit using the heel of my hand and add another finger. Making my way down, I bite her pebbled nipple through her t-shirt. “Fuck,” Lillia curses. I can feel her walls begin to contract. Removing my fingers from her hot, wet pussy earns me a disgruntled groan and glaring green eyes killing me slowly.

  “Baby, you’re not coming on my fingers.” I stand above her, looking down at the one woman who can bring me to my knees. I unbuckle my belt and drop my slacks along with my boxer briefs, setting my dick free. Lillia sits up, her face inches away from my cock. Looking up through her lashes, she licks her lips and leans forward. Her wet tongue licks the head of my weeping dick, lapping up the pre-cum. “Fuck.” I hiss, my fingers gripping onto her hair when she takes me in her mouth and starts moving up and down. The feeling of my tip hitting the back of her throat drives me wild. She swirls her tongue around the head then the underside. I nearly come when she takes me back in her mouth and slowly sucks down then scrapes her bottom teeth up on the underside. I can’t take it anymore, and I push her back. I pull her jeans and panties down and spread her legs wide with my knee. Placing the tip of my eager cock at her entrance, I look down into her beautiful emerald eyes, moving a piece of hair out of the way.

  “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, you know that, right?” A blush creeps up her cheeks. “You are, Lillia. I love you.” Leaning down, I kiss her softly and push into her at the same time.

  I make love to the woman who holds my heart and soul just the way she should always be loved.

  “I’ll call you when I land,” Lillia whispers against my lips. We’re at the airport, and she’s about to board a flight and leave me again.

  “Please stay,” I beg, leaning my head against hers.

  “Final call for the flight to New York,” an annoying voice shouts.

  “I can’t, Tristan.” A tear slips from her eye. “I’ll be back in two weeks for our appointment.” She takes my hand in hers. I bring it up and kiss the back of her hand.

  “Tristan, let her go, man.” Lennon places his hand on my shoulder.

  “I’ll see you later.” She walks away, wheeling her cabin bag behind her. She hands her ticket over to the attendant at the desk. Looking over her shoulder, she offers me a breath-taking smile before she’s out of sight.

  Lillia’s been gone for three hours. She called to say she had arrived safely almost two hours ago. Then radio silence from then on. I can’t rid the thoughts running through my head. Who’s she with? What’s she doing? Is she okay? Is the baby okay? I pace the floor of the kitchen, running my hand through my hair, clenching and unclenching my fists, locking and unlocking my cell to check if there are any messages from her. Nothing.

  Are you okay? T xx

  I wait eagerly for a reply. Nothing.

  “Tristan. She’s not even been gone a day and you’re already going crazy!” I scold myself.

  “Son?” I turn to see Dad with a worried expression on his face, standing with the same woman from the other night. “Everything alright?”

  “Yeah.” I sigh.

  “Sorry. Tristan, this is Sally. Sally this is Tristan, my son.”He introduces us again. I hold my hand out to shake it but she shocks me by hugging me.

  “Sorry, I just...” she stutters. “It’s just really good to finally meet you, without the police around us and some idiot shouting mean things to your girlfriend,” Sally says nervously. “Your father has told me so much about you and your brother.” She smiles warmly at me. Like a mother. Warmness spreads across my chest then the hurt comes, thinking about my own mother. She isn’t the warmest of people. Not towards me, anyway.

  “Nice to see you again, Sally.” I nod and start twirling my phone in my hand, hoping it will ring or do something that will tell me what Lillia is doing right now.

  “Son, are you alright?” Dad touches my shoulder. I look up into concerned blue eyes.

  “Yeah,” I lie. “Just nervous about a project at work.” I offer him a smile. Hopping off the bar stool, I head to my room, but not before I hear Dad say something to Sally.

  “I’m worried about him, Sal.”And rightly so. You’re losing it, man. She’s only been gone a day.

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Emmett.” Sally placates him. “He’s just missing his girl.”

  Damn right I’m missing her.

  My cell buzzes in my pocket. Digging in, I see Lillia has finally text me back.

  I’m fine. Just busy. Call you later.

  That’s all she sends? What could possibly be keeping her busy at seven in the evening? I feel my blood begin to heat up and my fists clench. I throw my cell on to my bed and pace the length of my room; I feel like I’m suffocating. The walls feel like they’re closing in on me. Running my hands through my hair, I pull, letting out a growl.

  “Get a grip of yourself, Tristan. She loves you and only you. She’s not fucking someone else!” I repeat to myself over and over again. I need to hear her voice. I need to know.

  Picking up my cell, I dial her number. “Hey, this is Lillia. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you after I finish feeding my unicorn.” Her voice and little giggle at the end calms me a little.

  “Hey, it’s me. Just checking in to tell you how much I love and miss you.” I hang up and hope she calls me soon.

  It’s gonna be a long night.

  “Lillia, you gonna answer that call?” Daniel asks, coming over from the kitchen with a glass of water for me. We’ve been poring over ideas of how to get new authors to his company.

  Lifting my cell, I see that it’s Tristan. Again. Sighing I place it screen down. It’s the tenth time he’s called in an hour. “I’ll call him later.”

  “Listen, why don’t we call it a night? You look tired. We can start again tomorrow during office hours. I’m surprised you even came home this soon anyway. All of this could have waited another few days.”


  Okay, I lied to Tristan about there being a big convention I was needed for. I needed out of Boston and away from all the heartache and memories that surround my parents’ house. I look down, ashamed of lying to Tristan and my family.

  “What’s going on, Lillia?” Daniel places his hand on top of mine. “I’m not your boss right now. I’m your friend.”

  “I lied.” I sigh. “I lied to my family and Tristan.”

  “Lied about what?”

  “I told them there was a big convention I was needed for.” I look down, staring into my glass of water. “I just needed out of that city.”

  “I’ll tell Avery that there is one,” he says out of the blue.

  “No, don’t lie for me. I’ll tell them the real reason I had to leave, just not yet.”

  “Lillia, if I know my niece, you know as well as I do she’ll be on the phone shouting and screaming at me, telling me I’m heartless for making you come back so soon. It’s better for the heat to be on me and not you. At least for a bit.” He winks at me.

  “Thank you. I can’t thank you and Darcy enough for the love you’ve shown me since I moved here.”

  “Hey, you can repay us by babysitting when the baby arrives.” He winks again.

  “Deal.” I giggle. Standing, I pick up my laptop and cell. Just as I’m about to pocket my cell, it rings for what feels like the hundredth time. I slide my finger to answer it.

  “Hello.”

  “Lillia, thank God. I thought something happened,” Tristan's desperate voice breathes through the receiver.

  Pulling the cell away from my mouth, I say goodbye to Daniel. “See you Monday.”

  “Who are you talking to?”

  “Bye, Lillia,” Daniel calls before closing the door.

  “Lillia, who the fuck are you talking to?” Tristan shouts.

  Woah, where the hell did that temper come from? Yeah, right. He’s a ticking time bomb.

  “What’s wrong with you, Tristan?” I snap, irritated that he’s called me some many times in the space of an hour. I only left him a few short hours ago.