Connected

by A. E. Murphy

  When I exit the bathroom I tread quietly down the stairs, my messy clothes shoved into my bag which is hanging from my shoulder. I really like Eric, I do, but I don’t feel comfortable in his house. Especially not whilst I’m wearing nothing but a tight pair of his boxers and a long T-shirt.

  I follow the sounds of clattering into the kitchen. “Hey.” Eric beams, looking me up and down. He doesn’t bother to hide the heat in his eyes. “How are you feeling now?”

  “Clean.” I smile sheepishly, pulling on the bottom of his shirt to make sure it’s covering my arse and lady parts. I’m wearing boxers but they’re tight and don’t leave much to the imagination. “What’s this?”

  He shrugs, looking sheepish himself. “Lunch.”

  “Looks good.” I stare at the sandwich that has to be fatter than my mouth is wide.

  “It’s my mum’s homemade bread, although it probably pales in comparison to yours. Here, sit.” I follow him to the tiny round table with two seats and do as he says. “What time do you have to be home for Dillan?”

  “He’s at nursery today until six.” I respond, rubbing my stinging eyes. He slides my sandwich in front of me. I look at it for a moment, assessing the best way to hold and bite. Following his lead, I crush it down with my hand before picking it up. It’s really good. “I should go home after this. I really do need to sleep.”

  He chews and swallows the food in his mouth before answering, “Sleep here. What’s the big deal?”

  “I don’t know you, or your house. It’s weird.” I respond, trying to sound as polite as possible so he doesn’t take offence. “I’m not dressed either.”

  “Yeah, I’m still finding it hard to believe I managed to get you naked and in my clothes before I’ve even kissed you.” Reaching over the table, he flicks my nose and tugs on the loose braid that hangs over my shoulder. “Honestly, I brought you here because we have more privacy. I know your mum is probably home and whenever we do anything, there always seems to be someone else there.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I point out. “But I’m going to be sleeping.”

  “Exactly, I’ll get to learn a few things.”

  “Like?”

  “If you snore, if you fidget and if you drool.” He shields himself from my pinching fingers and takes away our plates, smiling the entire time. “Come on. I’ll show you to my room.”

  Well, at least it’s tidy. His bed is huge; it looks clean and very comfortable. He pulls back the red cover and pats the mattress. With a sigh I climb in. It is as comfortable as it looks.

  Eric sits on the side of the bed, making a show of tucking me in and tugging on my braid again. “I’m tempted to join you.”

  “My bed.” I comment petulantly and burrow into the blankets. “Go do whatever it is you do at this time of the day.”

  He chuckles and gives me a salute before standing. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

  “Mummy! There’s a girl in Eric’s bed!” I hear a sweet young voice call, rousing me from my deep sleep.

  Ugh, does Mum have friends over?

  Wait… I’m at Eric’s.

  I peek open an eye when I hear footsteps bounding up the stairs and see a cute little dark haired girl staring at me. She can’t be older than ten and, if memory serves me right, Eric said she was nine, although I don’t think he shared her name with me.

  “Get out of my room, Kara!” Eric shouts, after almost falling through the door. I scoot up the bed, blinking the sleep from my eyes.

  “A girl?” I hear a woman’s voice call, followed by more footsteps on the stairs. “What girl?”

  “She’s pretty.” Kara states, smiling and showing two deep dimples on her cheeks. “You’re pretty.”

  “Umm…” I stammer, not knowing what to say as Eric grabs his sister, tosses her over his shoulder, gives me an apologetic smile and heads to the door. His mum beats him to it and now, standing in the doorway, is a round woman who Eric definitely gets his facial features from.

  “Oh my.” She beams at me, then slaps her son on the arm.

  “What was that for?” Eric whines, still holding his squealing sister.

  “Put your sister down and introduce me to your girlfriend.” She looks way too excited.

  “Mum, she’s just woken up. Please leave the room.” He hisses, giving her gentle nudges with his free hand.

  “I’ll see you downstairs.” She grins, placing her hand on the doorframe so Eric can’t throw her out. “Coffee?”

  I nod, still not saying anything as my heart beats a rapid beat in my chest.

  Girlfriend? That’s what she said.

  Eric comes back inside moments later and winces. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were coming.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll just hide in here until they’re gone.”

  He frowns. “Don’t be daft. Get out of bed and come and say hello or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

  Is he serious? “I have no clothes.”

  He blinks in realisation. “Right. Shit. Umm… here.” And his dressing gown lands on my head. He laughs, pulls it off and brushes my fringe from my eyes. “Sorry.”

  “I look like a whore.” I snap, pulling the gown on.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll explain the situation. My mum is really cool; she won’t judge you.” I don’t believe him but I have no other choice than to suck it up and go downstairs. He wraps his arms around me from behind as I pass him in the doorway and presses his lips to my ear. “I promise. She’ll love you.”

  “Hmm.” I try to hide my nerves. I’m not great at meeting new people, especially parents. Never was and probably never will be. Caleb’s parents hated me, but even before then I rarely went to friends’ houses because I was scared of their parents. I’m strange, I know.

  He spins me in his arms and presses me against the wall. His hands find their way inside my dressing gown and rest on my hips. “If you want to stay in my room you can. If you’re not ready for this, my mum will understand. Although Kara will definitely put up a fight. She’s far too nosy for her own good.”

  “It’s fine.” I lie. It’s totally not. “Let’s just go.”

  He frowns slightly, clearly concerned. “Are you mad at me?”

  Sigh. “No, of course not, I’m just… I don’t know.”

  “Shy?” He steps closer, his body against the length of mine.

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “I’ll hold your hand.” He says this like it will help me at all. I can’t hold his hand in front of his mum! Is he insane? “But first, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while.”

  I’m about to ask what, but it’s cut off by his lips gently pressing against mine. It takes me a few seconds to figure out what’s going on before I melt into it. He’s a good kisser; he tastes nice, his lips aren’t too moist and he’s soft. There’s no force behind it, only gentle coaxing.

  Well, that is until his tongue pushes past my lips. He changes then, completely. Not in a bad way either.

  Overall he’s a good kisser, but there are no fireworks or sparks, nothing like there was with… I’m not going to mention him whilst I’m kissing another man, that’s not fair on Eric or Caleb.

  His hand slides around to the small of my back, pulling my hips away from the wall and into him.

  He groans into my mouth, clearly excited. I can’t say that I’m completely unaffected. I wish I were.

  But I’m not affected in the way I should be affected. It’s not lust I’m feeling, it’s guilt. All I can see is his face. Not Caleb’s… Nathan’s.

  I can’t do this. This feels wrong.

  I’m about to push him away, but he moves back first, a smile lighting up his face.

  “Okay, you stay here.” Eric pants, his breath fanning against my lips. “I’ll go and get rid of them.”

  Clearing my throat nervously, I scrape my teeth over my tingling lower lip and look down. I really hope he doesn’t mean what I think he means.

  “Mum, they’re kissing!”
/>
  “For crying out loud!” Eric hisses, his body shaking with laughter. “Come on.” Taking my hand, he leads me down the stairs as I pull the gown closed.

  Eric’s mum is very sweet; so is his little sister. They constantly smile, laugh and joke with each other. Eric was right too, she didn’t judge me at all. We all sat in the living room for half an hour. She asked me about my life, but not in the way that she was prying, trying to see what kind of woman her son is dating. She was just genuinely interested, even more so when she heard about Dillan and announced that she loved babies.

  Eric sat to my right, his arm behind me over the couch. He didn’t say much, only spoke when he was spoken to. I love his little sister; she’s adorable, not to mention extremely well mannered. Well…not including when in somebody else’s bedroom in front of a sleeping person.

  Overall I was glad to have met them. Eric made me feel at ease, which was nice, and I’m grateful for that.

  Now we’re on our way to mine. I’m wearing nothing but his boxers, top and my shoes and jacket. I still have to pick up Dillan from Nursery. I miss my little man.

  I was relieved when Eric didn’t pick up where we left off on the landing when his mum and sister were at his. Now I’m wondering why that makes me happy. I should want to kiss him all of the time. Shouldn’t I?

  He’s about to pull up in my driveway, but stops when we both notice the car already parked there.

  “Oh shit.” I whisper, my hands starting to tremble and my stomach suddenly churning.

  “Isn’t that Dillan’s uncle’s car?” Eric asks, seemingly oblivious to my sudden change in mood.

  This isn’t happening. This really isn’t happening.

  I want to tell Eric to drive away, but I know Nathan has probably seen the car already. What’s he going to think when he sees how I’m dressed? Well, it’s pretty obvious what he’ll think, but how will he react?

  What’s worse is that Eric gets out of the car, obviously wanting to walk me to my door or something.

  Taking a deep breath and calming my quivering body, I open the car door and climb out.

  “I was about to ask you where the hell you have been for the past three hours, but I can see that question is already answered.” Nathan spits as he climbs from his car, Dillan in his arms. He doesn’t look happy with me at all.

  “Why do you have Dillan?” He’s supposed to be at nursery.

  “If you’d pick up your phone, you’d know exactly why I have Dillan.” Nathan glares at me, his body tense and his lips a thin line.

  Shit. My phone! “I must have left it at work.”

  He turns his glare onto Eric, looking him up and down before looking back at me. His eyes widen as he takes note of my bare legs and the bottom of the tight grey boxers that cling to the top of my thighs. I pull my coat tighter around myself, praying it gives me the shelter I need from his pained stare.

  “The nursery couldn’t contact you. They called your mum but she’s at work. Luckily I was still in the area. I was planning on leaving only twenty minutes after they called.” Nathan’s voice is a lot calmer now, but it’s deceptive. I know he’s trying to put that blank mask back on.

  “Give her a break man, she’s been sleeping all afternoon.” Eric frowns, placing his arm around my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

  I stay stiff, waiting for Nathan to say something else. He doesn’t. He only walks towards me, hands the nappy bag to Eric and hands Dillan to me.

  Dillan doesn’t have a temperature. I’m relieved.

  “Get inside; you’re barely dressed.” Nathan hisses, giving me a lingering look that screams of disappointment. “I’m leaving. I’m not coming back.”

  My lips part with a gasp. “What about Dillan?”

  “What about Dillan?” He states, laughing cruelly. “He’s not…”

  “Don’t.” I snap, holding up my hand. “You’re about to do it again.” He closes his mouth, his jaw tensing. “Don’t say something I can’t forgive you for. Go inside and we’ll talk.”

  “Forgive me?” He breathes the words, his disbelief apparent.

  “Why do I feel like I’m missing something?” Eric asks, pulling me tighter to his side.

  “Because you are.” Nathan snaps, looking directly at him.

  “Nathan.” I warn, but it falls on deaf ears.

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” He snarls at Eric, who instantly puffs out his chest in challenge.

  I look to Eric, pleading him with my eyes. “Please, I really need to talk to him.”

  “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you on your own with him.” He eyes Nathan still, but his body is turned towards me.

  Nathan takes a step towards him. I shoot him a look and he instantly stops. “He’d never hurt me.”

  Eric sighs, but I see him relent. “Fine. Call me later.” Then he does something that shocks the hell out of me. Being careful of the sleeping baby in my arms, he hooks his hand around my neck and pulls me into him until my lips are touching his. I’m mortified but I don’t have a chance to say so, because as soon as I gasp in shock, his tongue pushes into my mouth briefly. He pulls away just as abruptly, his eyes staring into mine. On another sigh and a slight shake of his head, he gives me a weak smile and walks away.

  I don’t have time to assess that reaction as I hear the front door slam. Nathan has gone inside.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I’m nervous when I walk in and place Dillan in the chair in his room. I’m not sure what to expect. This needs dealing with and it needs dealing with now.

  I follow the sound of movement up the stairs and into my room. Finding Nathan pacing should be a comical sight. Nathan doesn’t pace, but he is.

  Opening my mouth to speak, I don’t get the chance as he talks first. “It’s the same as before, exactly the same. I’m beginning to wonder if this would have happened last time, even if I had been first. You won’t choose me. I was right when I said it. Guys like me don’t win. Why would they?”

  Nathan doesn’t ramble either, but he is. “Slow down. I don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “He’s fun, right?” He stops, stares at me and runs his fingers through his hair. “He’s everything you want and everything you need, all wrapped up in one male bundle with stupid dimples and the body of an athlete.”

  Well… what the hell do I say to that?

  “It doesn’t matter that I saw you first.” He laughs incredulously and I have to repeat his words a few times in my mind to understand them. I still don’t understand them, so I ask. “Saw me first?”

  “I didn’t show up in town a year ago to take you in out of obligation to my brother.” He says the word brother with such venom it scares me a little.

  “Why did you then?”

  He runs his tongue over his lip, his eyes scanning me up and down. I see the flash of pain in them before the shutters come down. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “It matters to me.” I say softly, placing my hand on his arm. He pulls away from my touch, turning alarmingly pale in the face. “Sorry.” All of that progress, completely gone. “Tell me.”

  “If I tell you, you might never forgive Caleb.” He says, going to sit on my bed, but after looking at my attire once more, he thinks better of it and stands at the window instead.

  “Tell me.” I insist, standing beside him with my hands on the windowsill.

  “I was going to, but I don’t need to anymore.” He motions to my current attire. “It’s already too late.”

  Oh, right, he thinks I’ve done the deed with Eric. I can’t blame him for thinking that. “I haven’t slept with Eric, Nathan. I was tired. He took me to his, I had a shower and I slept. My clothes were covered in flour, sugar and jam to the point where they were more like cake than they were fabric.”

  “You’ve kissed him.”

  “You saw me.” I clear my throat and look away.

  “Just kissing? Is that it?”

  “Only twice, once at his, once in f
ront of you.” Why am I explaining this?

  He smiles slightly, his brows still furrowed. “Choose me.”

  Whoa… what? A one eighty flip just happened.

  “I’m serious.” He says, backing me up into the door. “Choose me.”

  Is this happening? “What?”

  “Choose me.” He dips his head and looks directly in my eyes. “You don’t want him.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do.” He places his hand on my cheek and traces his thumb over my lower lip. “I know that when he kissed you, your thoughts were on me, worrying how I felt, worrying about how I’d react.” Well… “Stop being stubborn and choose me. It’s simple. Just say yes.”

  “But…”

  “Don’t think about Caleb.” He implores, his other hand gripping my bicep. “Please, he doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”

  Blink. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” It’s not like Caleb is here to defend himself, so I don’t appreciate his cryptic sentences about him.

  “You don’t know him like I do. You think you do, but you don’t. He wasn’t always a good person, Gwen.”

  Eye roll. “He changed. He was very good to me.”

  “Yes, so it would seem.” He mutters conspiratorially.

  Shaking my head, I frown at the scowling man before me. “Like what? Tell me damn it!”

  “I saw you first!” He shouts, his fingers biting into the skin of my arm. “He would have never have met you if I hadn’t sent him down to that beach to get you!”

  My breath leaves me in a whoosh. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. “What?”

  “I saw you, every single day, from the window of my hotel room. You would walk down the beach. I’d watch you every day, wishing I wasn’t the way I was, just so I could talk to you.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He growls and gives me a small shake. “I hate sand. Hate it. But you enchanted me. I had to meet you.” This is insane, completely insane. “I even took pictures of you and wrote about you in my damn journal. I had to meet you. I once waited at the end of the beach near that kids play area on the pavement. You’d always walk up to there and back, looking over your shoulder every so often whilst smiling at nothing. Sometimes you’d walk backwards with your arms out to the sides. You were mesmerising.”