Reckless Abandon (Damaged #2)

by J. C. Hannigan

  ***

  Falling asleep with Everly in my arms and waking up with her warmth still encasing me like the best kind of blanket was unspeakably incredible. I couldn't help but just lie there, quietly holding her with my hand on the small of her back while I stared up at the ceiling.

  I honestly never thought things would go this way. I thought I'd fucked it up so badly that the moment she saw me again, she would throw things at me and demand that I get out of her life.

  And I would have; I would have done whatever Everly told me to do without question. I was lucky enough that Everly could see past her heartbreak and let me in...even a little. I knew she still hesitated—how could she not? But the way that she melted against my touch was enough for me. More than enough; it was more than I deserved.

  "What are you thinking about?" Her voice was gentle, but it still surprised me. I hadn't realized that she was awake yet. I was too locked in my head as I laid there, enjoying the feeling of her against me, the feeling of her finally being in my arms once again.

  "About us," I answered, my voice rough from sleep, lack of use and emotion.

  Everly smiled slowly. "What about us?" she whispered.

  "About how lucky I am," I answered, the lump in my throat getting bigger as my other hand came to brush against the necklace I'd given her yesterday. It rested between her breasts, glinting in the early morning light. Last night, it had served as a reminder of the pain I'd caused. Today, I was looking at it with new meaning. Hope.

  "I'm hungry," Cadence's voice came timidly from the hallway. I lifted my head up, grinning at her. She was rubbing the sleep from her eyes, almost pouting. At the sight of our daughter in the doorway, my grip tightened around Everly. It was still surreal to me.

  "Okay, go on downstairs and check on your Barbies. We'll be right down, alright?" Everly smiled. Cadence nodded, shuffling back out of our room and disappearing. I could hear the soft gentle fall of her feet descending the stairs. Everly stretched against me before sitting up, a vulnerable look on her face.

  "What?" I asked, almost amused.

  "We need to tell her. Today." Everly bit her lip, looking down at the sheet that she had pulled up over her breasts.

  "So, let's tell her then." I sat up and shrugged, feigning confidence as if the mere idea didn't terrify me when it absolutely did.

  "You make it sound so simple." She smiled sadly, shaking her head.

  I caught her chin between my forefinger and thumb, gently lifting her face so that her eyes locked with mine. I brushed the pad of my thumb over her lips, enticing a shiver of pleasure from her. "There isn't a single thing about you or me that has ever been simple. I don't know about you, angel, but...I like that about us," I drawled.

  She inhaled sharply before my lips brushed against hers. I kissed her slowly, savoring it and smiling against her lips as she sighed in blissful response.

  When I pulled away, I left my fingers on her chin, drawing power from the affected way she bit her lower lip. Any other time, I would have given in and ravaged her then and there—and I knew she was thinking along the same lines I was—but I could hear the distant sounds of Cadence playing in the living room, and I wasn't exactly skilled at my stealthy moves when it came to Everly. I liked to take my time with her.

  "Well, we might as well do this." Everly sighed again, this time with apprehension. I knew she was terrified of confusing Cadence. I squeezed her hand reassuringly before I pulled myself out of bed.

  "Cadence is definitely important," I remarked, ruefully shaking my head and almost chuckling as I stood before my dresser, searching for clothes.

  "And what do you mean by that?"

  My eyes found hers from across the room. "Because nobody else would have been able to get me out of that bed with you."

  Everly laughed lightly and blushed. "Well, it's a good thing we have a personal alarm clock, then. We wouldn't want to miss going to that castle place today."

  After dressing, we went down the stairs together. Everly had her arms crossed, giving me a tentative smile before she sank down on the floor beside Cadence. Cadence was playing quietly with her Barbie dolls and house.

  I didn't bother asking what they wanted to eat; I just set to work making a breakfast of epic proportions like last week. I called to them when it was ready to go, and they walked in as I set three heaping plates on the kitchen island.

  "That's a lot of food," Cadence remarked, her eyes wide as Everly helped her up onto the stool.

  "Yeah, but you did so good last time, I figured you'd be interested in another challenge." I smirked.

  "What kind of challenge?" Cadence questioned, her brow lifting in the same way mine perpetually did. My smile widened and my breath caught in my lungs. It was still surreal to see so many signs of myself in such a perfect being. It was impossible to carry around any hate for myself when I looked at Cadence.

  "If you eat all that, we can go somewhere fun today."

  "Where?" Cadence inquired, still not touching her food.

  "Do you know of Fairytale Palace?" Cadence's face lit up as if I'd just told her she had won the lottery. "If you eat all of that, we'll go there."

  She didn't need to be told twice; she dove in with the biggest grin on her face. Everly's eyebrows were raised, and I could tell that she was impressed.

  "It's a talent I have." I shrugged.

  "Oh, I know that talent." She smirked. "You could sweet talk the Statue of Liberty into giving you her torch."

  I snorted, shaking my head at her analogy.

  We ate in silence for the most part, with me standing on the other side of the island, Everly and Cadence sitting on the stools. Everly kept watching me, taking sensual bites of her sausage with a deadly serious look on her face. I knew she was just kidding around, but it didn't stop my pants from straining uncomfortably. I lowered my eyes at her, promising retaliation for her teasing later, and she grinned.

  "I can't anymore." Cadence pouted, pushing her halfway finished plate away and dropping her head down on the counter.

  I grinned. "That's good enough. We can still go," I told her, clearing the plates from the counter as she cheered.

  "Now, Cadence...there's something we need to tell you," Everly said.

  Cadence turned her blue eyes to Everly's face. "I promise I'll be good! I'll listen when you say it's time to go and I won't talk to any strangers!" she said solemnly.

  Everly smiled. "That's good, but that's not what we need to talk to you about." Everly's voice wavered as she looked at me. I came back to stand before the counter. "So, you know that you came from my tummy, right?" Cadence nodded, her eyes quietly assessing Everly. "Well, I had to have help to make you, right?"

  "I guess so." Cadence's face squished up with confusion.

  "Well...Grayson helped me make you." Everly smiled, looking at me nervously.

  My heart was pounding frantically in my chest, and emotion choked me, but I didn't show it. I kept a passive yet friendly smile on my face as Cadence's eyes slowly swept over to me. She studied me for a moment.

  "So...is Grayson my daddy?"

  I swear my heart stopped hearing those words coming from her. I swallowed hard, the minutes standing still.

  "Yes," Everly answered.

  "I always wanted a daddy. Everyone else has one—except for Lily. Her daddy went to heaven but she still has one I guess..." Cadence frowned thoughtfully. "Do I call you Grayson or Daddy?"

  "You call me whatever you're comfortable calling me," I said, my voice raw. "If you want to call me Grayson for now, you can. If you want to call me Daddy...well, you can do that, too."

  "What do you want?"

  "Cadence, I'm happy with whatever makes you happy. I don't want you to feel pressured either way." I leaned forward when I spoke, making sure that my eyes never wavered from Cadence's face. It didn't matter what I wanted, and I basically already had it. I had the opportunity to get to know our daughter, to start anew with Everly. That was more than I could have ever asked f
or and more than I ever imagined five weeks ago—that was for damn sure.

  I used to tell myself I'd tell Everly how I felt if I ever saw her again, but I never truly imagined a positive outcome. After all, she was a successful star, and I was the idiot who burned her in high school. Telling her would have just been a way for me to know that I'd truly done everything I could have to make things right, no matter what her answer was.

  But this...this went beyond a happy ending. It was exactly what I needed and hadn't known I wanted.

  "I'll have to think about it, but I'm glad I have a daddy now," Cadence said. Everly brushed a tear away quickly before Cadence turned to look at her. "Where was he before?"

  This was the question we were both dreading. Everly took a deep breath, her eyes rising to meet mine. "He didn't know, or he would have been here."

  "Why didn't he know?"

  "You'll understand this bit when you're older...but you don't know right away when you make a baby. It takes time, and Grayson had to go away for a while...for work." Everly was almost stuttering, but she was doing a better job than I was. I couldn't even form words.

  "Like you?" Cadence's eyes fixed back on Everly. She winced a little.

  "Yup, but now we're here and we aren't going anywhere," I told her, finally finding my voice. "So, let's start today off with a trip to Fairytale Palace, shall we?"

  "Okay." Cadence nodded. "That sounds good. Can I play with my Barbies for a bit?"

  "Of course." Everly smiled, standing up to help her down from the stool. We watched her head out to the living room before turning to face each other. "Well, that went better than I expected."

  "I told you there wouldn't be a problem." I shrugged, forcing a smile. I turned back to the counter, needing to busy my hands. I scraped the plates, rinsed them off and loaded the dishwasher, all the while feeling Everly's eyes on my back. I felt her move in behind me then her arms came around my waist.

  "Are you okay?" she whispered against my back.

  "Yeah." I took a shaky breath, swallowing hard as I turned to face her.

  "Was it a mistake to tell her?" Everly asked, the vulnerability detectable in her eyes and face.

  I cupped her face with my hands. "No, angel. It wasn't. I'm just..." I searched her eyes as if I could somehow find a way to convey my feelings. I swallowed again. "You know that intense feeling you got the first time you held her? The first time it truly sunk in that you were her mother?" she nodded. "Well, that. I guess."

  She smiled, her eyes welling with tears. I brushed them away from her cheeks with my thumb. "Is it a good thing?" she whispered.

  "Of course it is. It's the best thing ever." The words came out without me having to even think about them. I was sure that this was the best thing that I had yet to experience. I kissed her slowly, pulling her against me. "You really are my angel, you know that?"

  She laughed lightly with disbelief.

  "No, you are," I insisted, turning her chin upward so that she had to look at me. "You've brought light into my life, and hope. Even when I did nothing to deserve it...you're my savior."

  Everly didn't respond; she just melted into my arms, her lips parted slightly with open invitation.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Everly

  WE WALKED ACROSS the snowy parking lot of Fairytale Palace with Grayson's hand on the small of my back and me holding Cadence's hand. She was practically skipping with excitement. I felt jittery, almost like I was about to go on stage and perform, when I was really just going to take my daughter to an indoor play structure that supposedly looked like something out of a fairytale.

  "Maybe this wasn't a good idea." I worried my lip, looking at the building as if there was really a fire breathing dragon inside.

  "Come on, Mama, can't I play for a little bit?" Cadence pleaded.

  Grayson arched his brow up, grinning. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," he said mysteriously, opening the door for me. I narrowed my eyes at him, not trusting the look on his face in the slightest. I didn't have much of a choice, though; Cadence was tugging on my arm hard enough to dislocate her own. I followed her warily inside.

  "It's empty." I frowned, peering around the entrance room. There were several cubby shelves for boots and hooks for coats, all of them vacant.

  "I know." Grayson grinned, winking. "I rented out the space. I hope you don't mind, but I invited just four other people. Two of them are your age, Cadence. They'll be here any minute."

  "Yay!" Cadence squealed, releasing my hand and rushing to take off her coat and boots. She carefully put them in an empty cubby and attempted to reach one of the coat racks. Grayson took her jacket off her and hung it up with ease, grinning with just as much excitement as Cadence was vibrating with.

  "Who are the other people?" I asked, slowly slipping out of my coat.

  "My dad, my step-mom, and my two little sisters." Grayson shrugged. "I knew coming here wasn't going to be a good idea unless I booked the whole thing, but I still wanted Cadence to have fun with other kids and, well...they’re the only other kids I know." Grayson frowned, scratching his head as if it suddenly occurred to him that I may not be okay with that.

  I forced a smile. I was nervous—of course I was nervous. I'd never met Grayson's family before, and I knew they knew about Cadence and me. I wasn't entirely sure how warm their reception would be toward me, but I could see Grayson's point. He just wanted to do something fun for Cadence while still avoiding anything similar to the movie theater situation.

  "Okay," I said, shrugging out of my coat and boots as a young girl bounced into the room. She was wearing a Fairytale Palace t-shirt and a mega-watt grin.

  "Welcome to Fairytale Palace!" she said, crouching down to look at Cadence. "Have you been here before?"

  "No but all my friends have!" Cadence said, practically jumping up and down.

  The girl smiled. "Well, you're in for a treat! I'm Becky...what's your name?" she asked. Becky was around sixteen years old with long brown hair braided over her shoulder. She had a soft mannerism about her, and gentle brown eyes that smiled warmly at Cadence.

  "Cadence!"

  "Okay, Cadence, do you mind if I get you guys wrist bands? The wrist bands are for the food and beverages. You get scanned every time you want something so that you don't need to pay until the end," Becky explained, stepping behind the reception counter.

  "Sure." Grayson stepped forward first, holding out his wrist. She expertly placed the band around it and moved on to Cadence, then did mine.

  "Perfect!" Becky grinned, avoiding looking directly at me. I knew she recognized me by the way she averted her gaze. Her hands kept shaking while she put the band around my wrist, but she was working her hardest to appear unaffected, which I found admirable. Most teenage girls couldn't help but do the ear-piercing screech when they noticed someone famous out in public. "Why don't you come on back and I'll give you a little tour."

  "Sounds great." I nodded, smiling warmly at her. She smiled shyly back and took Cadence's hand to lead us through the doors that separated the entrance room to the food area. Grayson gently guided me by the small of my back. The food area had plenty of tables and comfortable looking sofas for parents to sit, and a concession stand with empty warming ovens and several coffee makers. The room was empty, naturally, but I got the impression that it was pretty uncommon for a Sunday afternoon.

  "Brock will get you any food or drinks, so just see him if you want a coffee or anything. There are cold beverages in the refrigerator and some snacks for the kids. We also have fresh muffins and croissants. We have pizza delivered around noon, and we'll be putting on hot dogs soon as well," Becky explained, gesturing to the room.

  "Wow, this is incredible," I said, my eyes widening as I took in the space. It truly did look like something out of a fairytale book.

  Becky grinned happily. "Thank you! My parents built this place for me, actually," she gushed, turning a bright shade of red. "I was obsessed with Disney princesses growing
up, and prior to this, there weren't any indoor play areas locally. It made for long and boring winters. I wasn't able to play outside like the other kids—I had a terrible immune system. I was premature at birth and my lungs were under-developed. I'm better now though, but I do have asthma...anyway, my parents got the idea and I sort of got to pick out what I wanted for it..." Becky's face grew redder with each word as she realized I was listening raptly to her explanation.

  "So this was your vision?" I arched a brow, deeply impressed.

  "Well, I guess so." Becky seemed uncomfortable with the attention. She forced another bright smile and looked down at Cadence. "Who's your favorite Princess?"

  Cadence bit her lip shyly. "Fiona!"

  "Fiona as in Shrek and Fiona?" Becky prompted, grinning. "I like her too! My favorite is Belle though. I like to read."

  "You look like Belle," Cadence remarked, blinking up at her with wide blue eyes. Becky grinned.

  "Aww, thank you! That's very sweet. Do you want to go check out the playroom?"

  "Maybe we could wait a little? The other girls will be here any minute," Grayson interjected hopefully. We both knew that if we lost Cadence to the playroom, we likely wouldn't get her back any time soon. He was excited for his family to meet her, so I nodded my agreement.

  Cadence nodded as the door chimed, alerting us to the arrival of the rest of our little party. We turned, seeing two fair-haired little girls approaching.

  "This is the coolest thing EVER!" the taller one yelled. "It's practically empty! The girls caught sight of us and raced up to Grayson with excited expressions on their similar faces. They all but tackled him, each grabbing hold of Grayson's legs.

  "Ah, speak of the devils. These are my sisters, Chloe and Jocelyn. Girls, this is Everly and Cadence." Grayson grinned, affectionately hugging them with one hand each before gesturing to us each in turn.

  The taller girl, Chloe, gazed up at me with the same piercing blue Dixon eyes and that miss-nothing stare. "So you're Grayson's girlfriend?"