Learning to Love Again

by Chrissie Loveday

  All too soon it was time to collect Holly and she knew the effects of a sleepless night were taking their toll. She stayed at home for some lunch and rushed back to catch up the antenatal class. She had just arrived back at the Centre when her mobile rang. It was Lucy.

  ‘Sorry to bother you, dear, but did you take the back door key with you? I meant to ask when you were home but I forgot.’

  ‘No. I haven’t got it. Oh dear. Do you think Ben could have taken it?’

  ‘Crumbs, I hope not. Perhaps Holly hid it somewhere. She was in a funny mood this morning. Don’t worry. I’ll find it.’ Anna closed her eyes. Her life had become a nightmare in a few short days. How was it going to end?

  ANNA FACES DANGER

  There was no sign of the key and when she mentioned her concerns to Joe, he insisted they should get the lock changed. There was no way Ben should be allowed access to the house. He was clearly unbalanced and might even try to snatch Holly. That was enough and she immediately phoned a locksmith. It was a difficult few days, even though they heard nothing more from Ben.

  ‘Anna dear, have you seen that box of teaspoons?’ Lucy asked when she arrived back. ‘The little silver ones? I can’t think where I put them. I thought I’d polish the silver this afternoon and they were missing. I’m worried I put them somewhere silly, when I was ill. I’m beginning to discover just how many stupid things I was doing over the past weeks.’

  ‘Aren’t they in the sideboard? I’m sure I saw them there recently.’

  ‘I’ve mislaid so many other things too.’ Lucy looked both ashamed and agitated.

  ‘Such as?’ Anna asked worriedly.

  ‘Oh my rings. Other bits of jewellery. I can’t think where I might have hidden them. And there’s my emergency money. You know your uncle and I always kept a little store of cash for emergencies. In case we needed something and couldn’t get to the bank.’

  ‘I didn’t realise you still kept it. Was there much?’

  ‘Well yes. I think there may have been about two thousand pounds.’

  ‘Two thousand pounds!’ she gasped. ‘You can’t be serious. Why on earth did you have that much money in the house?’

  ‘Well, we got into the habit of drawing out a few pounds each week. I just carried on doing it and well, I suppose I just never seemed to use it. It mounted up over the months.’

  ‘Oh, Lucy. Why didn’t you tell me? You should never have kept money in the house. I definitely think that we must have been robbed. Maybe Ben took the things. He must have come back into the house before we realised the key was missing.’

  ‘Oh, surely not. He would never steal from us. I can’t believe it of him.’

  ‘I don’t know what to believe any more. He’s certainly no longer the man I married. I begin to think he’s capable of anything. Well, at least he can’t get in any more, not now the lock’s been changed. But when could he have done it?’

  The phone rang.

  ‘Anna? It’s Joe. I hate to ask you at this time, but I need some help. It’s Evie. I don’t know if you realised but she’s pregnant again. Only there’s something badly wrong. I’m going over there now but Tom’s away on business and someone has to look after the kids. I hoped you might see what you can do for her and I’ll stay with the kids. I wouldn’t ask but well, it’s all a bit desperate.’

  ‘Joe . . . I don’t know what to say. We’ve got a . . . a situation here too.’

  ‘Please, Anna. We need you. Bring Holly with you. She can stay with me overnight if necessary.’

  ‘Why don’t you phone the hospital? There’s bound to be someone on duty.’

  ‘She won’t let me. She wants you to be there. Says she trusts you. Much more than me. Besides, being family . . .well, you know.’

  ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

  Eventually she was persuaded, and called Joe to say she was on the way. She waited outside the door until she heard Lucy fasten the lock and safety chain before she drove out to Evie and Tom’s farm.

  * * *

  Evie was in a dreadful state when she arrived. She was grey with pain and lying on the sofa, refusing all attempts to get her to bed. Joe had got the boys to bed and was ready to assist in any way he could.

  ‘Can you describe what’s been happening?’ Anna asked.

  ‘I’m only about seven weeks on. Everything seemed fine and I’m booked for a scan next week.’ She paused as pain surged through her body.

  ‘I’m afraid you may have an ectopic pregnancy. We have to get you into hospital as soon as we can. You’ll need a blood transfusion and we must stop the bleeding quickly.’ She glanced at Joe who nodded his agreement.

  ‘Exactly what I thought. But even though he’s a fully qualified, experienced doctor, a little brother can’t be right.’ Joe held his sister’s hand as he spoke. Evie smiled wanly. ‘I’ll phone for an ambulance. It might take them a while to get here,’ he warned as he dialled. ‘Nobody can ever find this place.’ He snapped out instructions to ambulance control and said he’d meet them at the bottom of the lane to make sure they didn’t waste a second.

  ‘What does it mean? Ectopic?’ Evie asked anxiously.

  ‘The baby is growing outside the womb. It tries to attach itself to something and well, there are lots of problems, Evie.’

  ‘How can the baby survive?’

  ‘Evie, my dear. It can’t possibly survive. I’m so sorry.’ Even amidst her pain, she wept for the loss of her baby.

  ‘I know what’s happened . . . with your husband,’ Evie gasped. ‘Joe told me what he’d done, trying to find him. He’s grieving now. Grieving because he thinks he’s lost you and it’s all his fault.’ Her words were stilted but she felt the need to speak. ‘Please, Anna. He did it for the best. Don’t leave him now. He wants you . . . loves you so much.’

  ‘I know. I love him too, but Holly’s father still has rights and we are still married, whatever he’s done. Now, try not to upset yourself even more. Don’t try and talk.’

  ‘But . . . will I be able to have another baby?’ she asked.

  ‘You’ll need some time to recover from this. But we’ll have to wait and see what implications there are after this operation. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t after a while.

  ‘Here they come. Would you like me to come with you? I can follow the ambulance and meet you at the hospital.’

  ‘It’s all right. But thank you. I’d much rather you stay here and talk to Joe. There must be something you can do. I want to see my little brother happy again.’

  ‘I’ll call in at the hospital tomorrow morning to see you. They’ll operate right away so you’ll be out of pain very soon and then you can sleep.’

  The paramedics were soon carrying her out to the ambulance and Joe was making comforting noises, telling her not to worry about the boys or anything else.

  ‘I did offer to go, but she said not to. She wanted me to stay and sort things out with you.’

  ‘Marry me, Anna,’ he asked suddenly. She blinked tears away.

  ‘I can’t. I’d love to Joe, but you know what I said and nothing’s changed.’

  ‘Please don’t tell me that . . . that man’s going to win? After all he’s done to you? You’re an intelligent woman. Don’t get sucked into his world again. He’ll hurt you again, I’m telling you. At least give me some small hope.’

  ‘Joe . . . I . . . there’s nothing I can do. I can’t make plans yet.’ He grabbed her and kissed her. He held her so tightly that she could scarcely breathe. Tears coursed down her cheeks and she felt faint. He let her go.

  ‘I’m sorry, my darling Anna. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll be waiting for you. However long it takes.’

  ‘I should go now. I do love you, Joe. But that’s the only thing I can say. I don’t know if it gives you any hope or not.’

  She drove home, her eyes were blurred with tears. It was almost midnight and she was totally exhausted. She would have to wake Lucy to let her in, unless she’d released the safety c
hain before she’d gone to bed.

  She tried her key and the door opened. The safety chain had been removed. Perhaps it wasn’t a wise idea but at least it meant that she needn’t disturb her aunt. Barely stopping to brush her teeth, she almost fell into bed and instantly fell asleep. She awoke refreshed and went for a shower before Holly arose. She dressed in her uniform and hair still damp, went down to put some coffee on. She turned as the kitchen door opened.

  ‘Morning, Anna,’ said a male voice. She dropped the coffee pot and screamed. ‘Ben. What on earth are you doing here?’

  ‘Just getting up. Like old times isn’t it? You, me and a pot of coffee.’

  ‘But you left. I told you I didn’t want you here.’

  ‘But your aunt made me feel so welcome, it would have been churlish not to stay on. Why were you so late? Out with the boyfriend?’

  ‘Not that it’s anything to do with you. Now, I’d be obliged if you were to get out of our house. How did you get in, anyhow?’

  ‘Took a key conveniently left in the back door, but you changed the lock. Very silly of you. But it was all right. I took the spare front key too, just in case. And very conveniently, the safety chain was left undone.’ Anna remembered the spare key which Joe had returned to the pot in the kitchen. He must have hunted round to find it before he left.

  ‘And did you also take Lucy’s things? Her jewellery? Cash and all the rest of the missing things?’

  ‘Of course not. She’s obviously put them somewhere safe. You must realise your aunt is in a bad way. Her mind’s dodgy. She’s not fit to be left in charge of my daughter. She should be put in a nursing home right away. It would mean you’d have this house for yourself. For us.’

  ‘Get out. Now. Before I call the police. I’ll give you ten minutes and then I phone them.’ She was so angry at his words that she could scarcely speak. He ignored her and sat down and asked for coffee. ‘No way,’ she spluttered. ‘You have five minutes left.’

  Ben went upstairs and she could hear doors opening and closing. She heard Holly’s voice and ran into the hallway. He was coming down the stairs carrying the protesting child.

  ‘We’re going for a nice day out, aren’t we darling?’ Ben was saying. ‘She’s my daughter and I’m going to take her with me. We’ll have lots of fun. Call the police if you must but it will be a long time till you see her again.’ Holly was screaming in terror.

  ‘All right. I won’t call them but you put her down. Right now.’

  ‘Mummy, Mummy,’ cried the little girl. ‘Don’t like man.’ She held her arms out to her mother and Ben let her go. Anna grabbed her and held her close. Ben shrugged and went out of the door.

  ‘Leave the keys you stole,’ she called after him but he laughed and went off down the drive. Almost crying with relief, she went to find Lucy. She must have slept through everything.

  ‘Oh Anna, is everything all right?’ Lucy asked when she was finally woken up. ‘I couldn’t sleep and so I took a couple of pills. I left the chain off the door for you. I didn’t know when you’d be back and thought I might not hear you.’

  ‘Oh Lucy, my dear. It’s OK.’ She told her the whole story of Ben’s extra night spent under her roof and the threats he’d made. ‘I know I should have called the police but I was so afraid he might take Holly. I’m sorry, but we have to change the locks yet again. All of them this time. And we’ll get locks put on the windows too. I’m not taking any risks.

  ‘I’m sorry but I really have to go to work now and I want to look in on Evie before I start. Will you be all right? I think you should keep Holly with you today. He might try to take her from nursery. And both of you, stay inside with everything firmly locked until the locksmith gets here.’

  Anna found Joe already sitting by Evie’s bed. He’d dropped the boys at their school and come straight here.

  ‘I feel as if someone kicked me in the stomach,’ Evie said weakly.

  ‘I’m just so sorry for you. But it looks as though everything was caught in time. Before any more serious damage was done.’

  ‘I should have insisted on calling the ambulance when I first got there,’ Joe chided himself ‘But I never could boss my big sister.’

  ‘And have you two sorted out your problems?’ Evie demanded.

  ‘I’m afraid they seem insurmountable at the moment,’ Anna replied. ‘I really don’t know what’s going to happen. But, you’re not to worry. Try to get better soon, ’cos we all need you.’ She leaned over and kissed Evie’s cheek.

  They walked out to the car park together.

  ‘Any more news this morning?’

  ‘You mean like Ben breaking in and sleeping in the spare room again? I didn’t even know he was there until he walked into the kitchen. I nearly died of shock.’

  Joe’s face turned red as if he was about to explode. ‘Don’t, Joe,’ Anna begged. ‘It’s all right. I’ve already booked a locksmith to change all the locks and fit new ones on the windows. It feels a bit like shutting the stable door but we need to do something.’

  ‘You should contact the police. Get a restraining order on him.’

  ‘He threatened me with taking Holly. Said he’d challenge for custody.’

  ‘He doesn’t stand a chance.’

  ‘Maybe not. But even thinking about it fills me with horror. And he’s stolen all manner of things. Well, we think he has. Lucy isn’t convinced she hasn’t put them somewhere silly. He took two thousand pounds and several pieces of jewellery, that we know of. Maybe there’s other things too that we haven’t noticed yet.’

  ‘Then you really must report him to the police.’

  ‘But he says he’ll find a way to take Holly if I do. I couldn’t bear it Joe.’

  She began to cry again and once more, he put his arms round her to comfort her. Her head rested against his shoulder. He drew in his breath, furious that this man should be able to threaten Anna and Holly. He had never felt such hatred for anyone before and vowed he simply must do something. Physical violence was against his nature but he really felt this time he might have to get satisfaction from crashing his fists into the man’s face. He was boiling inside as he stroked Anna’s soft hair.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I have patients who’ll be waiting for me. I didn’t let them know I’d be late.’

  It was a long morning and Anna felt disconnected from reality. By lunch time, she was feeling physically sick.

  ‘Maggie, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to go home. I really don’t feel well. Can you ring my afternoon patients and let them know?’

  ‘Don’t worry about it. You do look dreadful,’ Maggie told her. ‘Maybe Lynn can come and take over for you. I’ll give her a call and see if she can cover for a day or two. You need a break after the last few weeks. Is your aunt any better?’

  ‘Lucy’s fine, thanks. Just a few new family problems have come up.’ She daren’t tell Maggie the full story. It was all too complicated and she didn’t feel capable of speaking about it without bursting into stressed tears.

  She arrived home, much to her aunt’s concern.

  ‘What is it dear?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m just exhausted. I wanted to be home, here with you and Holly, making sure that we don’t have more unwelcome visitors. Has the locksmith been yet?’

  ‘This afternoon. Holly’s having her nap at the moment. I’ll get you some lunch. I don’t expect you’ve eaten anything.’

  ‘Oh Lucy, I’m so sorry to have brought all this trouble to you. You’ve been fantastic and now it seems never ending.’

  ‘Nonsense, dear. I love having you here and once this business is sorted out, we’ll soon be back to normal.’

  Their conversation was interrupted by a scream from upstairs. They both rushed out, fearing the worst. Had Ben broken in again? Holly was lying on the floor beside her bed.

  ‘What happened?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Mister Teddy felled out and I felled after him. Banged head.’ Anna picked her up and cuddled her close. There was no r
eal damage and she rubbed the little red patch. She looked into her eyes and the pupils were even so she felt sure there was no chance of concussion. But she would need to keep a close eye on her for the afternoon to make sure the child showed no symptoms or drowsiness. Just one more problem to add to the list, she thought.

  ANOTHER TRAGEDY OCCURS

  Anna was on tenterhooks for the next few days. She was constantly looking behind her and watched Holly keenly, every little thing she did. She was finally persuaded to allow the little girl to go to nursery to give her a break from the house and hopefully, to relieve the pressure they all felt. She had given strict instructions to the nursery supervisors that the child was never to leave unless she collected her. On no account was she to leave with any man who might come to take her, especially one claiming to be her father.

  ‘No problem,’ the kindly woman assured her. ‘We have a very strict policy on the matter. Only the person we know who brings the child to us is allowed to take her away.’

  Anna went into work and began her day. Almost as soon as she walked into the Medical Centre, there was a call for her. One of her patients, Emma, had started her labour and it was to be a home birth. She hoped for an easy delivery but asked who was the on-call doctor, just in case she might need help.

  ‘It’s Joe,’ Maggie told her. She sighed. Why did it have to be him? She had been avoiding him all week, not daring to allow herself any time when they might be alone. It was all too difficult.

  ‘OK. Well, you’d better make sure he knows where I am in case he’s needed. Should be plain sailing but well, you never know.’

  She drove out to the little house, near the edge of the village. Emma was in her room.

  The labour was slow. It was going to be a long day. Anna phoned the Medical Centre to explain and asked if she might be relieved by her colleague later in the day. Maggie was apologetic and said that the other midwife had also been called out. The hospital was busy and someone was off sick there. There was no-one else who could take over.