Shallow

by Yessi Smith

  It wasn’t my words that drew a gasp from her pretty lips though. She went to her knees and with outstretched fingers, she traced over the first frame. Then the other.

  “When did you do this?”

  “Last night I went to the drugstore,” I answered. “Pretty sure the manager thought about changing their twenty-four-hour policy when he realized I was printing out so many pictures from their automated photo printer. The frames aren’t great.” A breath hitched in my throat. “But I can get you new ones if you want to keep the pictures.”

  “This is perfect. Better than perfect.”

  After touching another picture of us that I’d printed — this one a selfie of us on her bed, she stood up and came to me. Framing both sides of my, she pressed her lips to mine.

  It was soft, tasted like forgiveness, like love, like home.

  “They’ll look great in our apartment,” she said when she broke from our kiss.

  My face must’ve shone with the shock I felt. She laughed, kissed my chest before she snuggled into my hold.

  Tipping up her head, she said, “We’re still moving in together, aren’t we?”

  “Yes.” A thousand times yes. A million times yes.

  “I love this.” She stepped out of my embrace, made a couple small twirls in front of me. “I love everything you did for me. I love you, Roderick. So much.”

  I hugged her again, never wanted to let her go.

  “This, what you did for me…” she trailed off. “A thousand thank yous will never be enough.”

  Inside my chest, my heart stuttered before it leaped forward, straight toward Brinley and our future.

  “I love you, Brinley.” I grazed my nose over her throat to her shoulder, kissed every inch that I covered.

  “So Roderick,” Danny called out, but I didn’t move or let Brinley move away from me, “did you invite us so we could witness your love fest, or are we going to eat?”

  Brinley laughed, her breath tickling my throat. “We should probably eat.” She kissed my jaw, right where my pulse throbbed hard and fast. “If we don’t, he might die or mutate or something.” Her lips moved to my lips.

  “Maybe we should just kick them out,” I said against her lips.

  “Heard that!” Danny shouted. “Brin, if you don’t get over here, I’m eating all the chips and queso dip.”

  She twisted in my arms, her eyes wide with mock horror. “Oh no, not the queso dip,” she deadpanned.

  Ari and Seth laughed while Ari took out the containers of food and spread them across the ground and over the petals.

  “Great, you’re back to being in love and losing your priorities.” He took out a chip and made a big show out of dipping in the queso. “Mmm,” he said when he took a bite.

  “We really should grab some before he eats them all,” she suggested.

  I laughed. My heart fluttered in my chest when she took my hand in hers.

  When I sat down, I extended both arms to Brinley. She came to me, crawled in my lap and nestled her head against my chest. Right where she belonged.

  “My grandpa called me after school today to let me know he rented the limo for us,” Seth said after a few moments of silence.

  “Cool,” Ari said.

  “Thank him for us again,” I added.

  “Yeah,” Ari agreed. “And I was thinking, Brin, do you have your dress yet or an idea of what you’re wearing?”

  “I have my dress from the Fall Ball that I only wore in Roderick’s room,” she said.

  Memories of that night flooded me. I almost lost that, threw away what we had. And for what? Fear? It wasn’t a good enough reason. Nothing was.

  “I was thinking about wearing that,” she continued.

  “What color is it?” Ari asked.

  “Silver.”

  Silver that clung to her body with a dip in the back. Reaching beneath her shirt, I caressed her back. She shivered.

  “Okay, so guys, what do you think if we all get tuxedos to match Brin’s dress?” Ari asked.

  On top of me, Brinley jerked in surprise. Her lips parted as she watched her friends through wide eyes.

  “That’s kind of a great idea,” Danny said.

  “Yeah,” she agreed, “I think it’s amazing and absolutely would love for you guys to do that. I mean, everyone already knows you’re all my favorite guys,” she smiled, “but, Seth, what about your date? She wouldn’t want to match me or have you match me instead of her.”

  “This date you’re talking about is totally fictional,” Seth said. “And look, I just talked to her and she says she thinks it’s an awesome idea.”

  “Shut up,” she griped. “Right now you don’t have a date. That could change.”

  “Prom’s two months away,” he said. “I’m not gonna find someone before then. Besides, everyone already has a date.”

  “Nicole doesn’t,” Brinley said.

  Seth’s laughter boomed in the cave, echoed off the wall. All while Brinley watched him through narrowed eyes. When he finished, he smoothed his hands over his face.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” Seth said. “We both know Nicole would rather not go to Prom than go with me. I don’t need a date, Brin. I’m just happy I’m going.” He paused, licked his lips. “In the beginning of the year, if you’d asked if I were going to Prom, I would’ve laughed. I don’t go to school events. Hell, up until we all became friends, I hated going to school. Hated being there.”

  “I guess it works out better this way.” Brinley’s smile was slow. “Just means I don’t have to steal you away from someone to dance.”

  “Dance?” He gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t think so. I don’t dance.”

  “Like hell you don’t!”

  With her foot, she pushed away her uneaten food and stood up.

  “One of you guys, put on some music we can dance to,” she ordered.

  “Like shake your ass kind of music?” Danny asked.

  “Exactly!”

  Danny was the first to reach for his phone. A fast beat spilled from it, filled our small cave, vibrated in my muscles.

  Brinley nudged Seth’s shoe with her foot. When she reached down to him, he put his hand in hers.

  Her body moved to the music as she danced in front of him, swaying and bouncing to the beat of the song. When Seth finally started shuffling his feet, she brought their joined hands over her head and spun with her head tipped back in a laugh.

  She was stunning to watch. Beauty in motion.

  The way she moved her hips sent adrenaline pulsing through my body. My gaze followed her every motion, swept over her enchanting body and beautiful face.

  As if she sensed my searing gaze, she tipped her head to me. When our eyes clashed, she smiled. It was the only invitation I needed.

  While Seth danced in front of her, I put a hand on her waist and moved behind her. Not close enough to hinder her movements. Free, that’s how she was meant to be.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Ari and Danny start to dance alongside us.

  It was liberating, captivating.

  The beating rhythm of one song bled to the next, and for hours we danced. We laughed. We chased away the troubles of the past few weeks.

  We lived.

  My mom snapped another picture. It was at least the millionth one of the night. Not that I minded when it meant I had my mom back. At least for a few hours, she was herself.

  “You look so handsome, Roderick.” She smoothed the front of his suit. “You all do.” Her eyes jumped from Roderick, Danny, to Ari.

  The only one missing was Seth, but he’d be here any minute with the limo his grandfather rented for us.

  “Your daughter’s standing right here,” I teased my mom. “She wants a compliment too.”

  My mom winked. “You look very handsome too, sweetheart.”

  “This house is full of nothing but smart mouths,” my dad quipped, putting his arm around my mom’s waist and pulling her to him.

  “I love that
your suits all match Brin’s dress,” my mom said. “That was such a great idea, Ari. If you guys can suffer through a few more pictures, I’d love to take some more when Seth gets here.”

  “We should take some in front of the limo!” I squealed.

  I couldn’t believe I was going to Prom in a limo with my four favorite guys. If that didn’t make me the luckiest girl in the world, I didn’t know what would.

  When the doorbell rang, my dad shouted, “Get in here, Seth.”

  Beside me, Roderick laughed. And because he couldn’t seem to help himself, he pressed a kiss to the side of my head. I turned my face to him and captured his lips with mine. His palm pressed against my back and he stroked a finger over my skin. He ended the kiss quickly, his eyes bright, his smile wide.

  “Be right back!” Roderick shuffled to the door, following Danny and Ari through it.

  I went to follow them, but my dad stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. He pulled me to him and my mom reached across him to put her hand over mine.

  “I’m proud of you, Brin,” my dad said. “You’ve turned out to be one hell of a good woman. Exactly the kind of daughter I always hoped for.”

  “I have pretty awesome parents to thank for that.”

  “Brin.” The way my mom said my name, filled with so much insecurity and doubt, pricked against my skin.

  “Both of you,” I continued. “I have the best mom and dad.”

  She tightened her hold so I bent down to kiss her hand.

  Shouts and swearing came from just outside the door. Ari came in first, walking backwards as he carried part of what looked like a heavy box wrapped in pretty yellow wrapping paper. Seth and Danny took either side of the object while Roderick carried the far end.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  Seth beamed at me. “A present for you. Well, I guess it’s for Roderick, Danny and you since you’re gonna be living together, but I originally made it for you.”

  “You made it?” I asked. “Ohmygosh! Seth! You made me something.”

  I flung my arms around his neck, squeezed him tightly to me. The hug didn’t last long. Not when I needed to see what Seth had created with the wood he loved to work with. The table he’d made for my mom was stunning, and she used it every day. But this? This was for me from one of my best friends. I knelt in front of the large box and after sending Seth another grateful smile, I tore in to the wrapping paper.

  “Don’t take your time savoring the moment or anything, Brin,” Danny teased.

  I was too busy to shoot him the middle finger. When I finished unwrapping it, I sat back. Took in the beautiful bookshelf Seth had made. On unsteady legs, I stood up, trailed a finger over the intricate carvings, made several sweeps over the poems he’d cut into the sides. Poems the five of us had written together and apart.

  They were all in our cave, but now I had some of them to keep with me forever on my bookshelf.

  Emotions caught in my throat. I blinked several times to keep the tears away. When one slipped out anyway, I laughed as I fanned my face with a hand.

  Turning back to Seth, I hugged him again. Thanked him a thousand times, but like Roderick’s mom had once told him, it wasn’t enough.

  “It’s perfect,” I told him.

  It was. Everything about this moment was perfect. And while our high school years were mostly not perfect, we had plenty of moments that were. Those were the moments we had to hold onto.

  “Okay,” my mom said. “I need more pictures. I want a good one of the five of you so when you all go off to college, we still have a photo of Brin and her guys.”

  Sometimes I felt like I’d lost my mom, like the distance between us was too big, too grave, and she’d never understand me. Tonight she proved me wrong. She knew me better than I thought. She saw me, saw my best friends were also my guys. They were mine.

  On the stage, Mr. Scott cleared his throat into the microphone. “Every year,” he started, “I get the honor of announcing your Prom King and Queen. And every time I stand up here, I reflect on the years I watched not just them, but all of you grow into the young men and women standing before me.” He paused, his gaze falling on us, the prom court standing beside him before he looked out to the sea of students.

  I reached for Danny’s hand and he squeezed. Just like the Fall Ball, I hoped he’d win the title of king. Not because the title was some prestigious thing, but to further show how much he was loved because of who he was, even if his father couldn’t see it.

  “I’m proud of all of you,” Mr. Scott said into the microphone. “Proud to have gotten to know each of my students. That being said, I must tell you I have deep rooted respect for your future king and queen. I’ve watched them stumble, watched them be pushed down, watched them rise with a resiliency and strength I admire. Before I announce them, I want to read something to you.” He took out a piece of paper from the front pocket of his pants and unfolded it.

  My heart kicked up, beating hard against my chest. I looked out into the crowd, looked for Roderick. He nodded his head, and I felt the calm seep into my system. Slowly, from limb to limb.

  “This was written by one of your nominees, Ms. Brinley Crassus with Mr. Roderick Roher. They were partnered together to create a blackout poem in my class. With her permission, I’d like to share it with you.” He slipped his glasses over his face.

  “Afraid to show my depth

  I use my shallow

  as a shield.”

  Mr. Scott looked at all of us, seemed to take us in. “In life, we will wear several masks, carry numerous shields. Despite that, students, I want to ask you to remember to be true to you. Remember to always be someone you are proud of. Don’t be afraid to show your depth. Don’t be afraid to show the world who you really are. The world needs you to be you. No one else can do what you’re capable of. Give us your talents, show us your passion. I promise you, you won’t regret it.” He took another long pause. “Okay,” he laughed, “enough with that! It’s time to crown your Queen and King.” He smiled at the court. “Graduating class, I’d like to present your King and Queen, Danny Reyes and Brinley Crassus.”

  Cheers and applause erupted in the large dance hall. I grinned up at Danny, who held our joined hands in the air. When he led us to the center stage, I gave him a quick hug before I turned to Mr. Scott. He nodded, handed me the microphone and waved me to move forward with the request I’d made in case I won.

  I licked my lips and smiled when Danny gave me a curious look. “I know as Queen and King, Danny and I are supposed to share the first dance to kick off Prom,” I said into the microphone. “But I’m not gonna dance with Danny, at least not right now. Maybe later?” I turned my head to the side in question.

  He stayed quiet, his brows drew together as even more confusion crossed his features.

  “Instead, I’m going to give my spot to someone else.” I turned to the silent crowd, found Ari’s face and with a finger signaled for him to come to the stage. “Ari,” I said, “you wanna take this dance?”

  He nodded, a smile so wide it made me dizzy with happiness. Or maybe the dizziness came from Danny spinning me in circles in his arms. When Danny put my feet back on the floor, he kissed my temple.

  “I love you, Brin,” he said before he stepped into Ari’s arms.

  To the thundering applause of our peers, they started to dance. Danny’s hands clasped behind Ari’s back, and Ari’s arms around Danny’s neck.

  I got off the stage and with my heart soaring, I stepped into Roderick’s embrace. He held me from behind, swayed our bodies in tune to the music while I watched my best friend show our class one of his greatest truths without fear.

  When the song ended, Danny leaned over to Mr. Scott and shouted into the microphone, “Let’s party!”

  Music emanated in the air, infused our souls with dreams and hopes that reached beyond our little beach town. We danced as if the yesterdays never existed, as if the tomorrows would never come.

  And in a sense, it
was true.

  Our yesterdays could hurt us, could mold us, could drive us, but they were only as valuable as the importance we gave them. They only existed if we gave them the power to. And the tomorrows, of course they would come. Or at least, I hoped they would. But worrying about it, about what might or might not happen, stole us from the todays. And the todays… they were far too important for them to be ripped away from us by our own fears.

  When the song finished, and a slow one started, Seth shouted that he was going to grab something to drink. Danny and Ari turned to each other, went into each other’s arms, and held each other close.

  With my arms around Roderick’s neck, we danced the first slow song of the night. His nose inched across my throat to my ear where he nipped.

  “Are we all really spending the night in our cave tonight?” he asked.

  His warm breath hit my skin, set me ablaze. I pulled myself closer to him.

  “My dad bought us some sleeping bags,” I replied. “You don’t want to disappoint my old man, do you?”

  “Are they Star Wars bags?”

  “No,” I giggled. He wasn’t far off. “He got me Thor, Danny Yoda, Ari Captain America, Seth Spider Man, and you Superman.”

  “Superman?” He laughed.

  “He says you’re the greatest superhero of them all. I agree.”

  I twined my fingers through his hair. He murmured something against my neck. I didn’t hear him but it didn’t matter. I heard his heart. Every day it got louder. But it always said the same thing.

  Home.

  Home.

  Home.

  We were home. No matter where we lived, as long as we were together, we were home.

  The song ended and when another slow song came on, I asked if I could ask Seth to dance with me. He kissed my cheek and led me to where Seth sat at our table drinking a soda. Cocking my hip to the side, I held my hand out to him. He looked at it and then at me, before a slow smile began to build on his lips.

  Holding onto me, he led me to the dance floor. When his hands met my waist, I circled my hands behind his neck.