Liquid Redemption (Liquid Regret Book 4)

by MJ Carnal

  “Player,” Max starts laughing as he sits next to me. “I hear there’s a celebrity in our midst.”

  “I wish you guys would have been in that elevator when Chance saw him. Priceless.” I sip my coffee and let the warm liquid energize me. “If you’ve got some time today, I’d love to do an interview.”

  “Works for me. Lorenzo going to beat my ass for taking you away for a bit, though?” Max winks at me and I can’t help but wonder how Rachel survives his charms.

  “No. It’s nothing like that. He’ll be happy to have some down time.”

  Chance practically throws himself in the seat next to me and waves at the waitress. “I’m dying.”

  “There’s no way we’d get that lucky.” The words sting a bit and Max’s eyes widen at me.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, the Ice Princess.” Chance orders some coffee and glares at me. “You’re two completely different people. All smiles and laughter with the rest of the guys and as soon as I walk in, the concrete wall around your heart is fortified and you start to fight.”

  “Your point?” I sip at my coffee and attempt not to look interested.

  “My point is that you make me feel very powerful because I’m the only one who can affect you like that. There’s a very fine line between love and hate.”

  Max practically chokes on his coffee as he laughs. “You two are exhausting. Speaking of, Chance, you look like shit.”

  “I feel like shit. Everything hurts. I’m going to skip the group hang today. Hope that’s cool. I just need to sleep this off.”

  I look at him and notice how flushed he is. We’re all in tanks and shorts and he’s in a hoodie and sweats. His hands shake a little when he reaches for his coffee. As if it’s instinct, I reach over and touch his forehead. He’s on fire.

  “You’re burning up. Do you have anything you can take for a fever?” I dig into my purse and grab the bottle of Tylenol I have for emergencies. “Here.”

  He takes the bottle from me and downs three tablets right away. He puts his head down onto the table and I look at Max wide eyed. I’ve stalked these men long enough to know they never get sick.

  Lorenzo walks up to the table after his workout. He winks at me and looks at Chance. Even he can tell Chance isn’t feeling well. “Big night last night or is it not that exciting?”

  He barely responds. Just shakes his head no. After his reaction to Enzo last night, I know he must be feeling like crap.

  “Well, shit.” Max texts Joshua. “I’m going to have Seymour send someone over to see you. We’ve got a show tomorrow and you’ve got to be better. We’ve cancelled too much shit in the last year with everything that’s happened. There’s no time for anyone to be sick.”

  “I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep.” He pushes his coffee cup away and it’s still half full. “I’m never sick. It’s just a temporary setback.”

  “Not good enough. He’ll send someone up. Go get back in bed. If you need anything at all, call me and I’ll head your way.”

  “Can you get from here back into the hotel without a big stir? I had a ton of followers when I walked over here.” Lorenzo looks over the menu. “Second thought, Max and I can head out there together. That should get their attention. You guys should be able to get back into the lobby and up to the room without problem. You ready?”

  Max stands up and follows Enzo out the door and into a rapidly growing crowd. The bodyguards I hadn’t noticed stand up from a table in the corner and make their way outside. Never a dull moment with these guys.

  I stand up and put my hand on his shoulder. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your room. You need to get in bed and keep your germs away from all of us.”

  “And a piece of the wall crumbles,” he mumbles as he pushes back from the table. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 11

  The walk from the diner to the lobby is just a few yards. The crowd is too interested in Lorenzo to even notice us. I pick up a pebble and stick it in my pocket and follow Katrina into the lobby and then the elevator. She pushes the button for the twentieth floor and I lean back against the wall. My head is pounding and I’m so cold.

  It seems like an eternity before I’m at the door and fumbling with the key card. I’m desperate for my pillow. I cough and Katrina takes the card from me to open the door. When it opens, I race to the bed and fall face down on it. I can feel my shoes being untied and taken off but I’m so tired. A gorgeous woman is starting to undress me and I don’t have the energy to even care.

  “Can you roll over?” When I do, she covers me with the blanket.

  “You dropped something.” I hold my hand out and she gives me a questioning look. Her hand brushes mine and I drop the pebble into her palm.

  She stares at it. “A rock?”

  I shake my head no. My eyes are too heavy to open but I manage a smile. “Not a rock. A piece of the wall.”

  She rubs her hand through my hair. “Sleep, Chance. You’re delusional.”

  I put my hand on top of hers. I know exactly what I’m doing.

  When I awoke from my nap, I felt a bit better. Katrina was gone and for a minute, I thought maybe I had dreamt the whole thing. The note on the nightstand assured me it wasn’t. I smile as I read the words to call her if I need anything. I wonder if calling her for more Tylenol would make her come back.

  I float on my back in the huge hotel pool. My bodyguard slipped enough money to the staff to allow me to have the pool to myself for an hour. It probably makes me an asshole but I needed some time to myself and the water has always been my home. When we are back in LA, I spend a bunch of my time in the ocean surfing or swimming against the tide. The only thing that was an essential when I bought my home was a view of the ocean. Nothing else mattered to me at all.

  I take a deep breath. I can’t hear anything but the rushing of the blood through my ears. The cool water surrounds me and eases my mind. My body is weak and still aches but the fever has broken and I feel almost human. The coughing has made my voice raspy and I hope that is a sexy sound on stage tomorrow. I may have to get Max to sing backup instead.

  “Times up, Lennon.” My bodyguard points to his watch.

  I take my time drying off. I can see people waiting inside. Some are here to swim but others just want a glimpse of the pompous ass who has stolen the pool during their vacation. I don’t care. Pissing a few people off is the least of my worries. Hell, with Katrina around, it seems to be a daily occurrence.

  My bodyguard goes in first and holds the crowd back as I walk through. As pictures are snapped, I wish I would have bothered to put a shirt on. Girls are screaming and I just want to disappear. It’s always such a commotion.

  I look up and notice one of our other guards heading my way. I’m sure he sees the relief on my face. I’m standing here in a pair of wet swim trunks, no shirt, water dripping onto the floor and feeling like crap. His arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me toward the open elevator. He shoves me in and another pair of arms breaks my momentum.

  I look up at Lorenzo and he smiles. “Fans. You rock stars have it a lot worse than we do. I’ve never been mobbed. It’s been crazy seeing how they are with you.”

  “I’m not even their favorite. You should see Harley try to leave his house.” I shiver as the air conditioning hits my wet skin.

  Katrina hits the button for our floor and steps in between me and Enzo. It’s like it happens in slow motion. He looks down at her and smiles. His hand finds hers and he wraps his fingers in hers like it’s meant to be. I should feel nothing. I feel everything.

  She’s so tiny and he towers over her. Just his size protects her from everything. I have this overwhelming urge to protect her and this man, no matter who he is, seems to think that’s his job. I take a deep breath and lean my head back against the wall. It has to be the fever. I should feel relieved that he could make her happy and she’d be less angry at me, for whatever the hell it is I’ve done.

  I feel her eyes on me and I open mine. “Are you fe
eling any better? You’re shivering.”

  “I was until I got into the elevator,” I mumble.

  “I can bring some more medicine to you if you need it.” I’m not sure what emotion her eyes hold but it warms my heart a bit.

  “I’d appreciate that.”

  She smiles as she turns back to watch the numbers light up with each floor we pass. I close my eyes and wonder if she’ll come alone or bring Lorenzo with her. I’m not sure which scenario is the better one. They both suck.

  For just a moment, I think I could be imaging it. Her finger runs over the top of my hand and down to wrap around my pinkie. I freeze. If I move, she might let go. For the first time since I was eleven years old, I feel tethered to something. For the first time in so long, I feel like I can breathe. What the fuck is happening to me?

  When the doors open, I step out and they both follow me. Lorenzo stops just one door away and lets himself in. He tells Katrina not to be long and I want to punch him.

  Just as she did earlier, she takes my key card and lets me in. This time, I head to the bathroom to put some clothes on. I don’t trust myself lying here with no shirt on and Katrina only inches away. I come out to find her sitting with her legs crossed on the edge of the bed.

  “I was going to surprise you but now I think I should probably tell you. I had an idea for a story and I’m hoping you don’t want to kill me when I tell it to you.” She picks at her nails. I’ve never seen her nervous. This should be good.

  “I wouldn’t survive in jail. I’m too pretty. So murder is off the table.” I try to lighten the mood.

  “I want to find the woman from your past that you loved.”

  I swallow hard. “What? Why?”

  “Can you imagine the headlines? I mean, it’s you. If you fell in love…”

  “No.” My voice is a little harsher than I imagined it would be. “I don’t know anything about her. I wouldn’t even know where to start to look. It’s better if my past stays in the past.”

  “How hard could it be? I mean, where did you live? Was she from school? We could totally find her. And what if you still love her? I could call your mom. I guarantee she’d remember something.”

  “Katrina, it’s not that easy. I need you to drop this. There’s no way I still love her. It’s been twenty years since I’ve seen her. She wouldn’t even remember me.”

  I want this conversation to end. Looking for her would be a disaster. It would expose the past I’ve kept hidden. It would bring up too many feelings and it’s better if those stay buried. My parents are dead. I dealt with so much survivor’s guilt and have lied about them for over twenty years. And how fair would it be to her? She’d gone through the most unbelievable trauma any kid could endure and I couldn’t keep her safe. She’d never forgive me for letting her down all those years ago. This can’t happen. She can’t write this story.

  “Chance, it would be so heartwarming and Joshua wants good press. I can’t imagine anything better than a love story.”

  My head is swimming. My body is run down; my fever is slowly crawling its way back to make life hell for me. I need to sleep. I can’t talk about this anymore.

  I pat the bed next to me. “Katrina, scoot over. I’m freezing. It’s like the heat is broken.”

  Her eyes widen. She stands up faster than I’ve ever seen her move. “I need to go. I put the pills and some water over there for you. I’ll check on your later tonight. I’m taking your key.”

  “Kat,” I whisper as sleeps surrounds me in peaceful bliss.

  Chapter 12

  I pound on Harley’s door. I hate to wake him up. I’ll hate it even worse if Laney is here. But I need answers right now. This can’t wait until morning.

  “Katrina,” Harley rubs his eyes. “What’s going on?”

  He steps aside as I push into his room. “Where is Chance from? Where are his parents?”

  Harley is clearly confused but he sits down and tries to make sense of my rambling. “Um, Maywood I think. He used to talk to Della about this stuff. She never told me anything. I’m not sure about his parents. Why?”

  “Is it possible he doesn’t have parents? Think, please Harley. Think.”

  “What the hell is going on?” He’s more awake now and he looks worried.

  “I don’t tell many people this so listen and then forget. This doesn’t leave here. Ok?” My heart is pounding in my chest when he agrees. “I was in foster care from twelve until I turned eighteen. It was awful and I was tossed around to more families than I can even remember. But there was one, right at the beginning, that I will never forget in El Monte. There was this little boy who helped me when I first got there. He was the best person I’d ever met. This is going to sound crazy but I swear to you, I think it was Chance.”

  Harley shakes his head. “That can’t be possible. If he doesn’t have a family, who does he talk to once a week? Who are the people who have picked him up and taken him out to dinner? I’m sorry, Katrina, I just don’t see how it’s possible.”

  “His name was Lenny. I don’t have answers to those things but maybe they’re a foster family he had later on. I need to know, Harley. He said something tonight and it was like I was twelve all over again. The words he used, the way he said it, it brought tears to my eyes.”

  Harley puts his hand on my back and rubs slow circles against my shirt. I start to cry and he pulls me into him. “I’ll help you. I don’t know how but I will find out.”

  “We had the same birthday. When’s his birthday?” I shiver as I wait for the answer.

  “May something. June maybe? I don’t know. Like I said, Della handled all this stuff.”

  I hug him goodnight. “Find out when his birthday is. That will tell us everything.”

  I walk back to my room. Lorenzo will probably be asleep and I will feel awful. He flew all this way to see me and I’ve been emotionally unavailable the entire time. I know we don’t have a relationship but I’m seriously the worst friend with benefits ever.

  He’s packing when I come in and my heart breaks. He gives me his award winning smile and motions for me to sit. He folds a final pair of jeans then zips the bag shut.

  “You’re leaving? I’m so sorry.” I feel like the world’s worst friend.

  “Bella, don’t apologize. I’m not angry, I’m excited for you. You’re my best friend. I want to see where things go with you two and they won’t go anywhere if I’m in your bed every night. I was leaving Monday anyway.”

  “Enzo, please. I need you here with me.” Begging doesn’t look good on me.

  “I did something in the elevator to get his reaction. And I was right, Kat. He watched me the whole time I held your hand. I know you say he’s heartless, among a million other things, but he isn’t. He absolutely reacted the way I thought he would. He wants you.”

  “He wants everyone.” I roll my eyes, further proving his point. I hit his arm when he laughs. “In all seriousness, I need you to stay. I think he’s Lenny. I’m terrified.”

  Lorenzo’s jaw drops and he sits on the end of the bed. “How is that possible?”

  “I sound crazy. I know that. But when I first met him, it was like I knew him. And I’m so angry at him for absolutely no reason at all. Maybe it’s because part of me knows who he is and I’m afraid he’ll leave again so I have to push him away.”

  “That’s a huge leap from that to him being Lenny, babe.”

  “When I was in his room a few minutes ago, he said something. It was exactly the same thing he said to me our last night together. It wasn’t just déjà vu. It was like I heard his old voice and saw the kid he was. I went down to talk to Harley and he said he grew up in Maywood. That’s where they sent him when they sent him away. I know it doesn’t make sense but I can’t shake this feeling.”

  Lorenzo lies down and pats his chest. I lay my head on him and close my eyes while he plays with my hair. “I’ll stay, Amore. This is going to be too good to miss. Ti voglio bene. Dormire.”

  “I love y
ou too. Goodnight, Enzo. Thank you for loving me like you do. You’re my best friend.”

  Lorenzo wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. It’s been a wonderful weekend but it’s time to say goodbye. Everything changed between us in just a few days. He’ll always be my best friend but our benefits are over. I know it’s for the best and it allows him to move on and find someone if he ever decides to settle down. He’ll start the next racing season and travel the world and I won’t be holding him back from living it to the fullest.

  “My wish for you is that you finally find some peace. Whether Chance is who you think he is or not, I want to see you happy. Remember, Bella, he was a child, too. He didn’t leave you. Your parents did. And maybe it’s time you let that little boy off the hook.” Tears stream down my face and he wipes them away with his thumbs. “You tell me all the time that love doesn’t exist. But we’re proof it does.”

  “When did you get so wise?” I sniff and pull him even closer. When I met Lorenzo, I was a broken shell of a person. I had to interview him for a celebrity spotlight and we spent the night in his bed. I knew right away that he wasn’t a one-night stand. We exchanged numbers and talked constantly. He let me into his family. I hadn’t had that in a really long time. We knew we’d never be more than friends but he satisfied a need in my life. It was a need for physical and emotional contact. He was the perfect person for that and I spent every day wondering what I had done to deserve a man like him by my side.

  “On the bus you go. No more tears. When you’re done with this assignment, come to Rome. We can spend the week together, no strings, no expectations. You can help me settle in for the first race.” He kisses me on the cheek and turns to walk away.