Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary

by T. K. Rapp

  The last period of the day is English Lit and it’s full of my fan club. I usually wait until the last minute to show up so I don’t have to deal with the comments and looks. My locker is across the building, so Braxton lets me keep my stuff in his to make it easier, but I have been standing here longer than necessary.

  “Hey, killer.” A voice startles me and causes me to turn clumsily. The girl from the cafeteria is behind me, a smile on her face.

  “Hey,” I manage to say before recovering. “Laila. The name is Laila.”

  “I’m Perrin,” she shoves her hand out in greeting, “but back home people called me Ree.”

  “So you are new here,” I state the obvious for her.

  “Yeah. Sucks, too. Move from one school where Christmas break already started. I mean, who insists their kid go to the one day of school left in the new school? I’m not happy with him right now,” she says in a rush.

  “Ree?” I furrow my brow in question. “I’d love to talk and all, but I have to get to class.” I point to the door next to the lockers and she nods.

  “Cool, see you in there,” she says as she starts to walk away.

  “There she is.” Braxton smiles, coming to stand next to me. “I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

  “Oh yeah, I’m great,” I feign excitement. Ree is still standing nearby and I remember my manners: “Brax, this is Ree—the girl who stopped me from making a fool of myself at lunch. Ree, this is Braxton.”

  “Nice to meet you.” He smiles and turns to me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. You’re taking me home, right?”

  “Of course.” He winks before kissing my hair and jogging off to his class.

  Ree is standing at the entrance waiting for me, so I follow her to the back of the classroom and take a seat. I have to admire a girl who comes in the very last day and shows up to class empty-handed. She doesn’t seem to care at all, and I doubt that Mrs. Lancaster will cover much anyway.

  “Hey,” Ree whispers over to me. “Your guy is seriously hot.”

  I stifle my laughter and shake my head. “So not my guy. Just one of my best friends,” I admit.

  Her eyes widen and she nods her head as she relaxes into her seat but she leans forward again. “Is he seeing anyone?”

  I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face, because I think she’d be perfect for Braxton: thin build, exotic face—and obviously she can make herself comfortable wherever she goes.

  “Not that I know of. Are you going to be around for the entire break?”

  She purses her lips and shakes her head. “I’m going skiing with my dad in Colorado.”

  “That works out great. Here’s my number, call me when you get back and we’ll talk.” I scribble my phone number on a ripped out piece of paper and hand it to her.

  She rips off a small corner and writes hers down and gives it back. “Seriously, how are you not dating that?”

  “Dating who?” Haden asks when he takes the empty seat next to me.

  “Haden, this is Ree.” I point to the girl on my right. “And she wants to know why I’m not dating Braxton.”

  He leans over, resting his arm on the back of my chair, and looks at Ree. “Nice to meet you, Ree. I’m Haden, Laila’s boyfriend.” He smiles genuinely before extending his hand to her.

  “Oh,” is all she manages to say. “All right, point taken.”

  “So where did you move from?” Haden asks.

  “Charleston,” she says with an overly done southern drawl. “My dad was transferred here.”

  “She’s going skiing with her dad, but when she gets back I’m going to try to set her up with Braxton.”

  Haden shakes his head and sits back when the teacher shuts the door to start class.

  “Good luck with that,” he mutters.

  Chapter 19 ~ Finding Braxton

  “Merry Christmas,” I gush, giving Braxton a hug as soon as he answers the door in his basketball shorts and no shirt. Most girls would love to be in my shoes and have the chance to ogle this guy in a state of semi-undress. That dark hair and his brown eyes—there’s a reason certain girls have been after him for so long.

  “C’mon, let’s go.”

  “Lai, it’s Friday, and Christmas isn’t for another week. What are you doing here so early?”

  “Go get dressed,” I order, shooing him inside so I can close the door behind us. “We’re going to get some coffee and hang out.”

  “Fine, I’m sure Mom can make some coffee and we can hang out here. Just come back after one, I’m tired,” he says, rubbing his eyes.

  “Nope. We’re going now. Let’s go.”

  “I hate chipper Laila,” he grunts, taking the stairs two at a time.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Jameson,” I call down, following him up the steps.

  His room is a mess, as usual, but I find a spot on his bed to sit down. When he walks out of the bathroom, he grabs a shirt from his drawer and pulls it over his head. Years ago, being in this room and seeing a shirtless Braxton would have made me tongue-tied. But so much has changed and he’s almost like a big brother, even though he’s only a couple of months older than me.

  “Glad football season is finally over?” I ask, glancing around the room.

  “Yeah, I guess. Maybe I’ll actually get to have a life.” He grins.

  “You really do need one of those. It’s kinda sad,” I tease.

  “All right, let’s get out of here and you can tell me what I need to do about this life I need.”

  He grabs my hand and pulls me to his chest, and gives me a hug that I reward in kind. His body is warm and he seems hesitant to let me go as his heart starts to beat faster. Braxton finally releases me and looks down at me with a sad smile. He kisses my forehead before taking my hand in his and dragging me down the stairs.

  The coffee shop is around the corner, but we drive anyway because I’m a wuss when it comes to the cold weather—or ‘not so hot’—as the guys like to say. The cute redheaded barista checks out Brax when she hands us our coffees and muffins, and we take a seat so we can talk.

  “Looks like someone’s into you.” I smile over the rim of my cup.

  He looks around to see who I’m talking about, and laughs when he assumes that I’m referring to the redhead. The coffee shop is relatively empty and I suppose it’s because people have taken off for the holiday. There are a few people sitting inside with their laptops and books, but Braxton wanted to sit outside. Why did I listen to him? It’s cold and this coffee cup is doing little to warm my fingers.

  “Who ya talking about?” he finally asks.

  “Candace really pushed all the wrong buttons the other day,” I say, seemingly changing the subject.

  “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you actually react to anything people have said to you,” he admits.

  “I really don’t know what came over me.”

  “I’m glad you said something.”

  “I’m glad Ree was there to hold me back.” I smile and wait for his eyes to meet mine.

  “Good thing,” he agrees. But when I don’t say anything else, it finally hits him. “Nope. No way. Sorry, Lai, but you’re not setting me up.”

  “Why not?” I whine. “You haven’t dated for a while—it’s time to get back on the horse!”

  “I’ve dated and I do just fine on my own,” he protests. But his argument doesn’t hold water; he hasn’t dated.

  “Name one.” I raise a brow at him and wait.

  “Jennifer,” he says.

  “That was two years ago, Brax, and you haven’t been with anyone since. Isn’t there someone you’re interested in?”

  “Not here,” he groans, breathing in his coffee, and mutters again, “please not now.”

  “Fine.” I stand up with my coffee in hand. “Where to? Quarry?”

  “No.” He shakes his head with a serious look. “Your house?”

  “Eh, Luka’s home and running through every r
oom to find her presents. Park?”

  “Yeah, that works,” he concedes and stands up so we can go.

  We drive with only the sound of the radio and his heater on full blast, but of course my mind is running the gamut of ideas of who he could be talking about. He pulls into a spot at the park, but doesn’t turn off the car.

  “Could we just stay in here?” he asks.

  “Thank you,” I drag out and laugh. “It’s way too cold out there.”

  “Wimp.” He winks at me and I return it with a smirk.

  I hand him a piece of paper and smile. “This is Ree’s number—she wants you to call her.”

  He takes the paper from me, looks at it, and then hands it back. “Not interested.”

  “But she’s cute,” I argue.

  He turns in his seat and leans against his door to face me, so I do the same.

  “Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty, but she’s not really my type,” he says.

  I close my eyes and lean my head against the window, fighting a groan.

  “All right, then tell me your type,” I demand. “And do I need a piece of paper for this?”

  He laughs and shakes his head, but looks nervous to say any more. His face turns serious, and my stomach begins to roll as my curiosity wants to retreat and take my body with it.

  “My type…” He closes his eyes and looks up. “Someone who is strong and funny. Definitely someone that’s independent, but doesn’t mind asking for help when needed. They’d have to be smart and athletic and get along with my friends—oh, and hopefully they get along with my parents.”

  “Braxton,” I interrupt, but he stops me.

  “Look, Laila, you’re my best friend and you know how much I love you,” he says. “I can’t keep this—”

  “I love you, too, but not like that,” I answer. “Jeez, this is going to ruin everything isn’t it? I mean, I’m with Haden, and you never said anything like this before. Why now?”

  “Whoa, easy there, Lai.” He reaches over and lays his hand on my arm. “I love you, but not like that.”

  “Wait, then what was all that about?”

  He starts laughing so hard he can barely breathe and I’m turning redder by the second, I can feel it.

  I slap at his arm and glare at him. “What’s so damn funny?”

  “You are,” he laughs again and does his best to stop. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “Like. What?” I say, punctuating each word for emphasis.

  “God, I love you. You always make things so much easier.”

  “Okay, enough,” I say, barely able to control my anger.

  “Lai, I’m not telling you that I’m in love with you or that I want to be with you,” he pauses and waits for my head to catch up, “I’m telling you that I’m gay.”

  “Wait…You? What? When?” I can’t string together a sentence worth a damn from my shock.

  “Yes, me. I’m gay. Since…for as long as I can remember,” he says. “I wanted to wait until after football season so I didn’t have to deal with any fallout.”

  “But…hold up.” I grab my head and look at him so he can talk. “Start from the beginning.”

  “I don’t know, I guess some time back I realized it, but never told anyone. When all the guys were having crushes on you, I was having crushes on guys.”

  “Our guys?” I ask for clarification—not that it matters.

  “Well, there was a time I liked Joey, but that was it. Haden was too moody and Cole was too obnoxious,” he grins.

  “But why didn’t you tell anyone? You know it wouldn’t change anything, right?”

  “Actually, I did tell my parents this summer,” he says. “Yeah, Mom hugged me and said she loved me.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “Funny thing, he thought my big news was that I had picked a college, even though it was too early to apply. After I told him, he was just looking at me. I thought he was pissed, but then he goes, ‘well?’ and I looked at Mom then back to him and he goes, ‘so you haven’t ruled TCU out, yet?’ And that was it.”

  “Your parents are seriously the best,” I gush and reach out to hold his hand. “How did I not know this?”

  “Really?” he scoffs. “You thought Haden was gay. I think you’re senses are completely off.”

  “So what now? I mean, clearly Ree isn’t your type. I get it, but who is your type?”

  Braxton turns around, opens his door to step outside, and stretches while simultaneously trying to hide his smile.

  “Omigod! There is someone. Who?” I ask, jumping out of the car to get the details.

  “I don’t want to talk about it yet. It’s too soon, and outside of my family and him, you are the first person to know.”

  My smile grows wider and I link my arm through his as we walk to the swing set. Braxton has always been confident and comfortable in his own skin, but I never felt he was hiding anything from us. I figured he was focused on sports and trying to keep his grades up, but there’s this whole other side I’m excited to discover.

  “Can you tell me his name so I don’t have to refer to him as ‘him’?” I ask, taking a seat, hoping for some little detail.

  “His name is Scot—with one ‘t’—and he’s pretty great.” He sways back and forth on the swing and turns his head to look at me.

  “Okay, I know you don’t want to give me too many details—which I don’t get—but tell me something about him. I’m really excited for you.”

  “We met at work this summer, but he’s in college.”

  I nod my approval. “Older guy, smart—okay, what else.”

  “Jeez, Lai, give me time here,” he laughs. “Actually, I’m really glad you stopped by this morning. I was planning on telling you, but I didn’t know when or how.”

  “You know we love you and there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you.” I move my swing closer to give him a hug.

  “I’m so glad you said that, because now I need you.” He stands up and pulls me to my feet.

  “Sorry, Brax,” I grin, “I’m taken.”

  “Cute. But really, I have a big favor to ask, and if you don’t want to, I understand.”

  “Anything, just tell me.”

  “You’re the first one to know, but I want to tell the guys—would you…come with me?”

  “You don’t need me, but absolutely, I’d love to be there with you. When do you want to do it?”

  He looks at his watch and then back to me. “No time like the present.”

  * * *

  One group text is all it takes and the guys show up to the park without question. Haden sees Braxton and me on the merry-go-round and smiles, clearly remembering our night here when he told me how he felt about me. I’m beginning to think there’s something special about this place.

  “So what’s the big deal?” Cole asks when he is close enough. “I was still sleeping.”

  “At eleven?” I ask, shaking my head. “Good thing I woke you up then—too much beauty sleep and none of us will be able to look at you.”

  “Very funny,” he deadpans.

  “How long have you been out here? You’re freezing,” Haden says after kissing my cheek.

  “Ah, an hour or so, but who’s counting?”

  “Someone better do some talking before I head back home.” Joey sits on another part of the playground toy.

  “You will not.” I narrow my eyes at him and watch as he backs down.

  “All right.” Braxton stands up in front of us and crosses his arms across his chest. “I guess now’s as good a time as any.”

  “Are you gonna finally come out?” Cole teases, to which Braxton raises a brow.

  Does he already know?

  My eyes dart between Cole and Braxton in shock, but he remains the epitome of calm.

  “Actually, I am.”

  Silence.

  The guy is standing in front of the four people who know him best and my heart swells with pride. He doesn’t look nervous, doesn�
�t cave under their wide-open mouths—he waits for the words to sink in.

  “Really?” Joey asks, looking to me.

  I nod and smile, looking at Braxton.

  “Really,” he smiles. “I just told Lai this morning.”

  “You’re happy?” Joey asks, just to make sure, because that’s the guy he is.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “So how long have you been into me?” Cole asks with a laugh. “I mean, we all know that I’m the best looking of all of us.”

  “In your dreams,” Braxton answers quickly. “You’ll be happy to know that I don’t see any of you like that.”

  Haden has been quiet and seems deep in thought, so I nudge his arm and he finally shakes his head and joins the rest of us.

  “You all right, man?” Braxton asks him.

  “Yeah,” he mutters. “Just kinda pissed you don’t think I’m hot.” Haden laughs at his own lame joke and stands up, pulling Braxton in for one of those guy hugs that turns out to be a real hug.

  “I love you, brother.” He pats his back. “I’m glad you’re finally being you.”

  “Haven’t I always been?” Braxton seems somewhat offended by Haden’s words.

  “You’ve always been you, but you were keeping something pretty big hidden—and that’s totally your right—I’m just saying, it’s gotta feel good to get it off your shoulders and let everyone know.”

  There’s a look of understanding exchanged between them that I don’t get, but then Cole decides to say out loud what I’m not privy to.

  “Yeah, I guess Haden knows what it’s like to be in the proverbial closet. I mean, he only pined after for Lai for like, what—ever?”

  “Cole, take a look around,” I tell him. “You’re the only single one here.”

  The words come out and I want to strangle my own neck. I spin to face Braxton and apologize, but he shakes his head and smiles before pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around my neck in a hug.

  “What Lai didn’t mean to say is that, I’m seeing someone. I don’t want to give out details right now, but he’s pretty damn cool and I guess we’ll see what happens.”