Empire of the Space Cats (Amy Armstrong Book 2)

by Stephen Colegrove

  Sooka Black straightened his black cape and the golden seal of his office around his neck.

  “Let’s see how good this cat is.”

  A Life Guard with stripes on his red beret leaned toward Sooka.

  “Sir?”

  “Nothing, sergeant. Put your cats to attention.”

  “Already have, sir.”

  “Put them at MORE attention, then!”

  The sergeant saluted. “Yes, sir! Sorry, sir.” The cat turned to face the soldiers. “BAT-ta-lian-AAH! Tan-SYON!”

  With a clatter of metal, the Life Guards switched their rifles to the left shoulder and back again.

  The outline of a circle gleamed on the silver skin of the ship. The circle sank inside, rolled to the left, and a metal ladder dropped to the concrete field. On cue, the imperial brass band started up from somewhere in the crowd, playing the royal Tau Ceti anthem. A flight of twelve fighters from the Royal Blues rocketed overhead, red smoke streaming from their wings, as an orange tabby appeared at the open hatch blinking from the bright sunlight.

  Sooka Black sucked in a breath. “Cat’s teeth, that’s good surgery.”

  AS SOON AS the hatch rolled open the cheering hit Amy like a brick.

  “Wow,” she mouthed to Philip. The tall, dark-haired teen shrugged at the noise, and jammed his arm into the sleeve of his wool jacket.

  Sunflower stared at the crowd for a moment, and then climbed down the ladder to the landing field, followed by Amy and Nick. The buzzing sprite had re-done her makeup and thrown on a tiny white gown she had found somewhere in the ship. Philip had finished changing into his gray English suit. He carefully descended the ladder one-handed with an unconscious brown-and-white terrier under one arm.

  A line of cats in black armor with “POLICE” across the chest stood around the perimeter and kept the crowd from surging forward by hitting them with batons that crackled with blue electricity. A gray tabby squeezed through the perimeter and sprinted toward Sunflower, only to be buried under a pile of police cats.

  Amy felt like she was on stage at a rock concert in front of fifty thousand screaming fans, only she had no idea what they were screaming about, what she could do to make them stop, or even if making them stop was a good idea. It was very possibly the scariest moment of her life.

  A solid rectangle of cats wearing maroon berets and holding black knobby rifles on their shoulders marched on hind legs across the open concrete. At the head of the procession was a brown cat with a cape and a medal around his neck.

  The orange fur on Sunflower’s tail stood straight out. He grabbed Amy’s leg and tried to tell her something over the screams of the crowd.

  Amy shook her head. “Can’t hear you!”

  The cat wearing the cape stopped in front of Sunflower and bowed to the concrete, his furry chin touching his front paws. Sunflower froze for a second, and then returned the gesture. The brown cat turned, walked a few steps, and then tilted and bobbed his head in a manner indicating that Sunflower and his friends should follow.

  A cat with gold stripes on his beret shouted unintelligible phrases against the din of the crowd. The orderly rectangle of cat soldiers marched around the small group, forming a protective shell as Amy and her friends crossed the landing area and entered the chaos of a screaming, banner-waving feline horde.

  Amy plugged her ears with her fingers against the noise as the cat soldiers escorted the small group through the mob, using the butts of their rifles to beat away the overly-enthusiastic cats. A collection of low white buildings and a large silver dome gradually appeared over the furry heads of the crowd and the upraised banners of Sunflower, growing larger and larger as the soldiers pushed through. After ten minutes of walking, the soldiers guided Amy and her friends to a set of double doors at the base of the giant silver dome, which was guarded by a platoon of armored cat police.

  The metal doors slammed shut behind Amy and her friends. They walked through a dim, green-painted corridor, empty of all sound apart from the faint scratch of paws on the floor.

  “Where are we going?” she asked, definitely too loudly.

  The brown cat at the front spoke over his shoulder as he walked.

  “Thank you for that question, honorable miss. Please follow me for only a short distance.”

  “How much further?” asked Sunflower. “I’m dying for a drink of water.”

  “Yeah! Me, too!” squeaked Nick.

  “Only a few meters, honored guests. Refreshments will be provided.”

  The caped official led them to a metal hatch, typed in a combination code, and passed through. The cat soldiers stayed behind in the corridor as Amy and her friends followed the brown cat through a dark and apparently unfinished corridor filled with cables and the smell of plastic and oil. The cat passed through a large, heavy-looking hatch, crossed a small white room, and stopped in a circular chamber lined with soft, low couches. Unlike the utilitarian spaces they had just walked through, this room gave the impression of heavy, overwhelming luxury. The floor was covered in lacquered mahogany and the walls were painted deep green with mirrored wall panels.

  The cat bowed to Sunflower. “Please rest in this place for a moment, Your Excellency.”

  A white cat wearing a red bow tie popped through a small door in the wall. A silver tray strapped to his back supported a half-dozen glass bowls of water.

  Sunflower swiped a bowl from the tray and plopped onto a couch.

  “The service at the spaceport is much better than I remember. The last time I was here I lost all my luggage and got fleas from an old tomcat.”

  Amy bent over and grabbed a bowl. “Don’t you have cups or glasses? Maybe a straw?”

  The white cat coughed and stared up at her with bright blue eyes. Amy could have sworn he shook his head a bit.

  Sunflower flicked his tongue rapidly at the water in the bowl and laughed. “Don’t be disgusting. This is Tau Ceti, not some back-alley diner on Alpha Centauri serving cheese sandwiches and pickles. You’re on a civilized planet, so act like a civilized cat.”

  “I have to drink from a bowl?”

  Philip lay the unconscious Betsy on a couch. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

  “I’d rather be in Rome, now that you mention it.”

  The brown cat padded over to the dog on the couch. “Does this servant of yours require medical attention? We have canine doctors in the capital.”

  “Can’t you hear him snoring?” asked Amy. “He’ll be fine.”

  “You need a brain to have brain damage,” said Sunflower.

  Amy waved at Nick, up high near the ceiling. The tiny sprite buzzed down to the bowl in Amy’s hands and took a long sip.

  The brown cat bowed. “Now that we are in a secure location, allow me the opportunity to introduce myself.”

  Sunflower looked up from his water bowl. “You’re Sooka Black.”

  “Your Excellency remembers his loyal servant?”

  “Of course! You’re the right-hand cat of the Emperor. I used to see you plastered across the magazine covers at the supermarket. That was before I got hired by the Lady, of course. Not much reason to go to the supermarket after that. Or come back, actually.”

  Sooka blinked for a long moment at Sunflower.

  “The Lady? Supermarkets? I don’t understand.”

  “What’s not to understand? Everyone goes to the supermarket.”

  “Not you, sire. Never in a million years.”

  Sunflower squinted at him. “I know the Lady replaced most of the squishy bits inside me and that means I can’t eat normal food, but how is that your business? Who do you think you are?”

  “I’m Sooka Black. The billion-mao question is … who are you?”

  “I thought you already knew that. I’m Sunflower of the Western Range, apparently.”

  Sooka nodded. “Of course. Perhaps you would agree to a simple test to verify your identity?”

  Amy laughed. “Airport security scan! Next, a flea dip.”

&nb
sp; Sunflower shook his head and sighed. “Whatever gets me through customs faster. The wait at the taxi stand can be massive.”

  The white cat appeared again through the small door with a small, pen-like device rattling around the silver tray on his back. Sooka Black flicked a paw, causing the “manos” bracelet around his wrist to sprout thin metal fingers, and grabbed the pen.

  “By your leave?” he asked Sunflower.

  Sunflower nodded, and Sooka touched the inside of Sunflower’s paw with the end of the pen. The device clicked, causing Sunflower to yelp and jerk his paw away.

  “My apologies, Excellency,” said Sooka.

  “These consular procedures are very strange,” said Philip. “Perhaps we should have landed at the other spaceport.”

  Sunflower glared at Sooka and licked the bottom of his paw. “Maybe another planet entirely!”

  Sooka Black stared at a small display on the pen-like device. “Again, I apologize for the intrusive test and my questions, sire, but it is necessary considering the prolonged period of your absence.”

  “Does everyone who goes off-planet get hassled like this?”

  “Not everyone,” said Sooka, and looked up from the pen. “Your DNA matches that of Sunflower, your appearance matches that of Sunflower, and your speech pattern, vocal tone, and vocabulary match that of Sunflower.”

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious, for telling me something I already know.”

  “One last test, if you please. A single fragment of information can prove that you are who you say you are, and not an imposter. Vast sums of treasure and entire departments of the intelligence service have kept this one fact a secret from anyone but the actual Sunflower.”

  “It’s not about that cat from my junior year of college?” said Sunflower. “She promised she wouldn’t tell. In fact, I think she joined another sorority.”

  Sooka Black shook his head. “No, sire. Tell me––who are your parents?”

  Sunflower’s whiskers drooped and he stared at the glass bowl between his paws.

  “You know everything about me. You should know that, too.”

  “Please answer the question.”

  “My mother’s name was Bocephus,” whispered Sunflower. “My father went by many names, but most of the time he was called ‘Amy.’ The first ten years of my life, they drove from place to place, selling catnip and leather mugs from the back of the transport van that was also our home. My only friend was a mouse that lived under the passenger seat.” He glared at Sooka Black. “Happy now? Thanks for bringing up the fact that I had a horrible childhood and hippy-dippy, catnip-smoking parents!”

  Sooka Black’s jaw dropped. The brown cat bowed low to the floor and touched his chin to his paws.

  “Sire! Pardon this servant for ever questioning you!”

  “Why does it matter who I am or who my parents are?” said Sunflower. “You’re the second-most important cat in the Empire and I’m sure you have better things to do. Tell me if I’ve done something wrong or let us get in line for a taxi already.”

  “There is no need for Your Excellency to wait for a taxi,” said Sooka Black. “It is true that I am the not the most important cat in all civilization. That would be Sunflower of the Western Range––the Emperor of Tau Ceti.”

  Chapter Six

  Standing on all fours on the couch, Sunflower froze into the spitting image of a stuffed animal Amy had seen in the Monterey Wax Museum, only he was a wide-eyed, open-mouthed orange tabby, not a pointy-eared bobcat. He failed to move even when Nick landed on his back.

  “Does that mean I’m a princess?” asked the tiny blonde-haired sprite. “I’ve always wanted to be a princess!”

  “You and everyone else in the universe,” said Amy. “Welcome to the club.”

  Philip raised a hand. “I’d rather not be a princess. I’ve met several, and it’s more bother than you can imagine.”

  “Fine. Apart from Phil here, everyone else is a princess.”

  “Yay!” squealed Nick, and twirled through the air.

  Sunflower shivered and closed his mouth.

  “Impossible,” he said hoarsely. “Sassycat was Emperor when I left the planet. He’d only been on the throne a few months!”

  Sooka Black trotted a few steps closer and squinted at Sunflower.

  “Forgive me for being so bold, sire, but what happened when you boarded the Andre Norton?”

  “The what?”

  “RMS Andre Norton, the trans-dimensional warship developed by the Navy. You boarded the craft for a royal inspection and she disappeared in a gigantic flash of light.”

  “That couldn’t have been me,” said Sunflower. “I don’t remember anything like that, and it’s the kind of thing I’d put in my diary.”

  “But … where have you been for three years, Excellency?”

  Philip cleared his throat. “His Highness suffered injuries in the accident, and unfortunately, memory loss. It was only by the greatest of efforts that he acquired another craft and traveled home.”

  “Exactly,” said Amy. She leaned down to Sunflower. “We crossed through several DIMENSIONS where things are DIFFERENT from every other dimension.”

  Sunflower nodded slowly at Amy. “Other dimensions where things are different.” His yellow eyes widened. “Oh! I get it.”

  “The Emperor has suffered injuries?” Sooka Black rushed to a wall and tapped several lighted buttons rapidly. A screen brightened and displayed a tuxedo cat wearing mirrored sunglasses. “Leave for Saint Tarder Hospital immediately!”

  “Copy that,” said the tuxedo cat. “Prepare for emergency launch, Your Worship.”

  Philip held up both hands. “There’s no need to see a doctor. Sunflower’s fine, apart from the memory loss.”

  “And bad attitude,” said Amy. “Is there a pill for that?”

  “What a pair of comedians,” said Sunflower. “I hate hospitals and doctors and people that go to hospitals. It’s the last place I want to be!”

  The lights in the room darkened to red and a warbling came from the ceiling.

  “No time,” said Sooka Black. “Grab your harnesses!”

  Orange webbing sprouted from the couches around the circular room. Sooka jumped next to Sunflower and helped him buckle the straps around his chest.

  Strong vibrations shook the floor as Amy grabbed a seat on the nearest couch and threaded her arms through the orange belts. “This isn’t a waiting room?”

  “It IS a waiting room,” said Sooka Black, fastening the buckles of his webbing. “A waiting room in an Imperial corvette.”

  Nick flew down and jumped into the breast pocket of Philip’s jacket. The teenage boy snapped the safety webbing around his chest as the room began to shake.

  Amy shrugged. “When in Rome …”

  Philip grinned and gave her a thumbs-up gesture.

  The rumble below their feet grew louder, and Amy felt a heavy weight pushing her down into the couch. Steel building supports slid past the mirrored wall. Amy realized the mirrors were actually windows as the hangar dome dropped away, revealing mountains on the horizon and the still-crowded landing field below.

  The room tilted and the engine sounds reduced in volume as they cruised over the brick buildings and puffing smokestacks of large factories outside the spaceport.

  “Where are we going?” asked Philip.

  Sooka Black waved a paw at the gleaming steel skyscrapers rapidly growing in the opposite window. “To the best hospital in Cheezburger.”

  “Change course immediately,” said Sunflower. “I feel absolutely fine. Take us to the Imperial Palace.”

  “As you wish, Excellency.”

  Sooka Black unbuckled his safety harness and scrambled to the communications panel.

  “I think Betsy’s waking up,” said Philip. He held the little brown and white dog on his lap.

  “Ooo, my head,” groaned Betsy, his eyes still shut. “The washing machine … always the washing machine. Why, Dad? Why do you always use the maxim
um spin cycle?”

  “Because he doesn’t love you, that’s why,” said Sunflower.

  Betsy shook his furry head with his eyes still closed. “That’s not Dad, that’s Sunflower. Why did you put me in the washing machine, Sunflower?”

  “Dogs don’t wear clothes,” said Amy. “Why would they have a washing machine?”

  “To clean puppies, of course,” said Sunflower. “The little monsters are constantly smeared in filth, rooting through garbage, and sticking their noses into every dead poona they see.”

  Betsy opened his eyes in Philip’s lap and stared up at the teenager.

  “Philly-Billy! Did Sunflower put you in the washing machine, too?”

  “Not at all. We’re in some sort of flying craft. The confusion is understandable, since you hit your head rather hard today.”

  “He’d have brain damage if the Lady hadn’t strengthened his bones with titanium,” said Sunflower. “Should have replaced his entire head while she was at it.”

  Betsy climbed to the top of the couch and stared out the window at the city far below. “Where are we?”

  Sooka Black puffed out his chest. “Cheezburger, capital of the empire.”

  “Whoa! Cool! I’ve never been there.” Betsy stuck his nose on the glass and his breath fogged the window. “I hope they have marshmallows and I can eat some when Sunflower isn’t looking. I also hope Sunflower didn’t hear me say that.”

  “Don’t worry, I never listen to anything you say,” murmured the cat.

  Sooka stood next to Betsy and looked carefully at the dog. “Perhaps we should land at the hospital, after all, sire. Your canine companion seems to have an altered mental status.”

  “Altered from what? That’s the way Betsy’s always been.”

  “Speaking of wacko mental cases,” said Amy. “We left that giant lizard back at the ship. I hope he doesn’t get into trouble.”

  Sunflower blinked at her. “What? You mean like getting his head stuck in a bucket or eating soap?”

  Amy turned and looked out the window. She watched the peaked roofs and jade green tiles of the houses pass below her.

  “Worse. I don’t know, it’s just a feeling.”

  NISTRA WIPED SWEAT from his scaly green snout and kicked the dome in the center of the power room.