The Survivor and his Safe Place

by Rebecca James

  I sat on a stool, well out of the way of the cameras and crew, watching Hung screw up the scene being filmed for the umpteenth time.

  Matteo, or Bullseye, Blaze’s second-in-command, stood next to me, arms crossed over his chest.

  “Christ, this is fucking ridiculous,” he muttered, dark eyes pinned to the train wreck in front of us. “What’s gotten into Hung today?”

  “Hell if I know,” I said, watching as Hung moved right instead of left as Blaze had instructed, obscuring the view of the cameraman yet again and causing Blaze to yell “Cut!” I’d long ago gotten over the weirdness of watching my friends having sex on camera. Hung might be a little older than the rest of us, but he had a great body and normally moved with a grace that was both sexy and kind of beautiful.

  Not today though. Blaze’s cursing when Hung botched up yet again told me the bossman was losing his cool.

  Matteo looked at me. “I’m putting myself through this because I told Blaze I’d give my opinion on the scene, but why are you hanging around for this fuckery?”

  “I’m waiting for Tease,” I said. “His bike’s on the fritz, and I’m giving him a ride to the shipyard.”

  Matteo raised a dark brow. “New job?”

  I nodded. “Welding.”

  “The porn gets old. At least, for everyone except that guy.” Matteo jerked his chin to where Hung was repositioning himself with Tatiana, who looked like she was having trouble remaining in the mood. When she called for more lube a second later, that verified it.

  Tease was the newest member of the Hedonist MC; and although he’d opened up a lot to some of the guys in the past few months since he’d joined, I still didn’t know him very well, which was why I’d offered to give the guy a ride when Skitz was originally supposed to do it. Not that we could do any talking on my bike, but I thought it would be a nice gesture.

  I was off work and trying my best not to hightail it over to Caleb’s. We texted all the time, and I’d been to see him again since our kiss. The way things had heated up that day, I was afraid we were going too fast. I didn’t want to pressure him. To be honest, I was a little confused at Caleb’s eagerness. He was the one initiating everything, not that I was complaining. With any other guy, I would be all over him, but Caleb was special. Lately, it was like a switch had been flipped. He seemed determined to be with me.

  I knew I should ask him exactly what he wanted, but the thought made me nervous. Serious conversations about feelings and stuff weren’t exactly something I was good at, although I’d given my share of advice to my club brothers. It was different when it was my love life on the table.

  Isaac was keeping his opinions to himself, but I was pretty sure he was still worried. Things between me and Dante had blown over since our scuffle. Sometimes I thought I would’ve felt better if I’d landed a punch on his pretty face though. The guy could be insufferable sometimes, especially when it came to Isaac. Looking back, I could see now that Dante had always watched over Isaac, even when the former playboy hadn’t realized how much he really cared for the younger man. I guessed that made sense, seeing as how Dante had brought Isaac to the clubhouse to get him off the streets, taking on the role of the kid’s protector from the get-go.

  Maybe I felt similarly about Caleb. I’d had no part in hiring him at the shelter, that was all Isaac, but I’d been around from the beginning, and it was miraculous we’d developed a connection considering Caleb’s first reaction to me had been a complete meltdown. I’d worked hard since then to gain his trust, too hard to fuck it all up now.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I slipped it out to look at it, heart jumping when I saw Caleb’s name on the screen.

  Are you off today?

  Shit. My fingers itched to reply that I was, and that I’d come by to see him. What would happen if I did? Would we kiss again? What we’d shared so far had been pretty tame, but I didn’t know how long I could keep that up. I was a man who was seriously starved for physical touch, and Caleb was the one man I wanted.

  “Aren’t you gonna text him back?” Matteo asked. I hadn’t realized he was looking over my shoulder, and I elbowed him in the ribs.

  “Nosy son of a bitch,” I grumbled.

  Matteo only laughed.

  The filming had stopped yet again, and this time Blaze yelled they’d meet back after lunch and that Hung was being replaced by Cane.

  “Holy fuck,” Blaze said, joining us when the small cast and crew had broken up. “Even after pulling kinky all-nighters, Hung usually performs better than that shit.”

  I glanced past Blaze to where Hung had donned a robe and was smoking in the corner, knowing full well he wasn’t supposed to be smoking inside the warehouse.

  “Maybe he’s got something going on we don’t know about.” I had a thought and looked around the warehouse “Where’s his keeper?” Of course Matteo and Blaze knew who I was talking about. Nick had taken to micromanaging Hung’s life like a biker to the open highway, and even though it had started out a win for me as I was getting back at Hung for always throwing me out of our room, I was beginning to suspect the Brazilian actually enjoyed the bossy bottom’s over-the-top attention.

  “His boyfriend’s in town, so I gave him a few days off,” Blaze said.

  “Nick has a boyfriend?” Matteo voiced the question on the tip of my tongue. “Since when?”

  “Evidently a long time. He’s Nick’s sugar daddy.”

  “You mean some old guy’s got Nick in a penthouse lubed up and waiting to be fucked whenever he breezes through town? If that’s the case, what the hell is Nick working here for?” Matteo asked.

  Blaze shrugged, checking his cell phone. “According to Julianne, Nick doesn’t live with the guy or take his money. Just gifts and stuff. Calls the man ‘Daddy’ ‘cause that’s what turns them on. Speaking of which, we might want to add some of that to our gay porn. It’s popular.”

  “Christ.” Matteo shook his head.

  “Nothing wrong with it,” I said. “I see it all the time at The Banana.” I looked at the sulking man smoking in the corner. “Maybe that’s why Hung’s got a burr up his ass.”

  “What d’ya mean? I’d think he’d be happy to have a break from the harassment,” Matteo said.

  Blaze met my eyes, and I got the feeling our club leader was on the same page I was.

  Tease approached, and I slid off the stool.

  I still hadn’t texted Caleb back and thought about it all the way to the shipyard.

  When Jared got off my bike and we said goodbye, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and sent Caleb a text. I couldn’t put off the burning need to see him a moment longer.

  Okay if I swing by?

  A few long minutes went by before I got a response, which I suppose I deserved for my own radio silence after Caleb’s text. The answer was short, sweet, and all I needed.

  Of course.

  ****

  When I pulled up outside the shelter, I was surprised to see two strangers on the porch talking to Caleb. I could tell by the tense lines of Caleb’s body he was uncomfortable, and adding the extreme relief on his face when he saw me, I was off my bike and striding toward the porch in seconds.

  The two guys were younger than I’d first thought when I’d spotted them and maybe I was imagining the threat in their postures, but I flexed my biceps a little just to see their eyes widen with trepidation.

  “Axel.” Caleb sounded so happy to see me, my heart did a little dance in my chest and I smiled, completely ruining the badass persona I was trying to project to the strangers.

  “Um, this is Brad and Jerry,” Caleb said. “They’re the ones who moved into Deirdre’s old house.”

  The one called Brad was tall and lanky and wore a hoodie coupled with a ratty pair of jeans. Jerry was heavier and wore only a thin T-shirt and shorts despite the chill in the air.

  “Hey,” I gave them each a hearty handshake that I hoped would leave them in no doubt of how strong I was.

  “Yo
u in a motorcycle club?” Jerry asked, eying my bike.

  “Yep. The Hedonists. You know ‘em?”

  “Heard of ‘em,” Brad answered.

  “They brought an injured bunny,” Caleb said, and for the first time, I noticed Brad held something in his hands. Brad seemed to have forgotten too, for he stared blankly down at the roll of blanket before nodding. Moving closer, I peered inside the folds at the quivering young rabbit.

  “Thought maybe since this is an animal shelter, Caleb here would know what to do with it,” Brad said and passed it to Caleb like he suddenly couldn’t wait to get rid of the animal.

  “I’ll try,” Caleb said, “but rabbits are difficult to keep alive when they’re traumatized.”

  I noticed he didn’t look either man in the face, and suddenly I wanted them out of there.

  “Thanks for bringing it by.” My tone and glare left no question I expected them to leave. I didn’t care that I was being rude. When they disappeared into the woods, Caleb breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I guess I mentioned this was an animal shelter when I met them,” Caleb said, turning to me, gray eyes meeting mine and melting the hard persona I’d put on for the unexpected visitors. “I wasn’t going to open the door, but when I saw the rabbit…” He turned his attention to the animal. “Poor bunny. I’ll have to find someplace to put it.”

  He started to walk inside, then stopped. “Come in. Only…leave the door open, okay?”

  I nodded. Dante had recently installed a screen door, and although he said it was so the dogs could look out, I expected it was really so Caleb could have company and keep the door open.

  Caleb passed me the rabbit, and I stood holding it uncertainly in the foyer, listening to Caleb rattle around in one of the animal rooms. He came back frowning.

  “I can’t put him in there with the dogs; they’ll give him a heart attack. And I don’t have anything to keep him in other than this animal carrier.” He held up one of the small crates you would use to take a cat to the vet.

  “That should do for now,” I said, helping him get the rabbit settled inside the carrier. “I can build you a hutch outside.” I would do anything to get rid of that worried look on Caleb’s face.

  Caleb smiled at me like I’d invented a cure for cancer, and my chest swelled.

  That’s how I wound up spending the next hour putting together a basic rectangular frame out of wood Dante had stored in the shed. Isaac had a couple of grooming appointments, and when he was finished, he made a trip to the local hardware store for some wire and plywood. Caleb sat and watched me work, and when the day warmed up and I stripped off my shirt, I felt his gaze on me like a touch. I imagined what it might feel like to have his fingers trail down my back, and goosebumps erupted over my flesh.

  When lunchtime rolled around, Caleb brought out sandwiches and cans of soda, and we sat on a blanket to eat. I could get used to the quiet of the country. I’d always liked nature, the serenity a welcome change from the bustle of the city. Taking the time to watch a woodpecker have a go at a tree trunk might seem dull to many, but I found it a nice change of pace.

  “My dad called them ‘peckerwoods, Caleb said. “He was originally from Georgia and told me that’s what his father always called them.”

  “My favorite’s the Pileated woodpecker,” I said. “It’s the biggest kind.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those.” Caleb leaned back on his hands, eyes closed, soaking up the sun. I idly wondered if it would bring more freckles to his skin.

  “They’re about as big as a crow,” I said. “They’re cool looking, but the redheaded woodpecker is probably the prettiest.”

  “How come you know so much about birds?” Caleb asked.

  I didn’t like talking about my past, but since it was Caleb asking, I was going to answer.

  “My grandparents raised me on a farm in New Jersey.”

  Caleb rolled his head towards me and opened his eyes. Seeing him so languid and at peace made me happy to tell him anything he wanted to know.

  “It’s hard to picture you on a farm,” Caleb said, looking at me so intently I yearned to lean in and kiss him. His eyes went to the sleeve of tats on my right arm.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Figuring he wanted to know about one of the tattoos, I nodded.

  “Why were you in prison?”

  My breath stilled. Suddenly feeling like the lowest of low life in the presence of this pure, tortured kid, I looked away, gazing toward the calm waters of the lake in the near distance.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” Caleb said quietly.

  Hadn’t I just had the thought I’d be happy to tell him anything he wanted to know? I hated to see his estimation of me fall, but it had to happen sometime.

  “I was arrested a couple times for trespassing but didn’t do any time for those. Took the heat for my club on a drug charge that gave me eight months in the slammer and a record. I was arrested a few other times for fighting, and I took the heat for a club member on a breaking and entering charge, doing a little over a year before getting out.” And the club had let me do it. “Fucked somebody up pretty bad one time, but the charges were turned over on a technicality.”

  Caleb turned to sit cross-legged on the blanket, eyes wide. “Wait. The Hedonists do drugs? And one of them let you go to prison for him?”

  “No, sorry. That was my old club. Blaze doesn’t allow any drug use in the MC, and the Hedonists wouldn’t do anything like that to me. We’re family.”

  “Sounds like your old MC was a sorry bunch,” he said, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way he was wrinkling his freckled nose. He was so damn cute.

  “Yeah. They were. I was loyal to them for all the wrong reasons. The Hedonists wouldn’t ask that kind of shit of me.” I tilted my head. “Does what I just told you bother you?”

  Caleb’s eyes skittered away from mine. “No. I figure you had your reasons.”

  My heart swelled in my chest. This kid had no reason to trust me—in fact he had a lot of reasons not to—but here he was having a picnic with me, even after I told him I’d done a lot of fucked up shit.

  Caleb touched my arm. “I’m sorry your old club treated you that way.”

  I mustered a smile. “You’re a sweet kid, Caleb.” The words came out sounding more tender than I’d meant them to, but he had that effect on me.

  “I’m not a kid,” Caleb said, climbing into my lap. Before I could register what was happening, he laid a kiss on me that curled my toes. My arms encircled his waist, and for a few moments, we consumed one another with lips, tongue, and teeth.

  I couldn’t get enough of him. He tasted sweet and smelled sweeter. The skin between his shirt and his jeans felt like silk under my fingertips, and I longed to run my hands up his bare back and down his ribs. A soft sound issued from the back of his throat, and my cock jumped in the tiny amount of room it had left in my quickly tightening jeans.

  Caleb pulled away and looked into my eyes, curls tousled and lips red. “I want to touch you, Axel. All over.”

  I briefly lost the ability to breathe while I replayed his words in my head.

  “Please,” he said, breaking down my every defense.

  “Christ, you don’t have to beg,” I said hoarsely and leaned back on my elbows, giving him carte blanche. Caleb took a deep breath as though he was about to plunge into deep waters before eagerly and reverently running his hands over my chest. I’d put my shirt back on before sitting down to eat and kind regretted it, wanting to feel his touch on my skin. A moment later I got my wish when Caleb slid his hands underneath the fabric. The fingers of his left hand gripped the hair on my chest, and I gasped when he flicked the small hoop in my left nipple with the fingers of his other hand, expressive eyes darting to mine as though to gauge my reaction.

  I groaned and dropped my head back, closing my eyes against the sun and just enjoying Caleb’s explorations.

  “Let me taste you,” Caleb said
, and I raised my head, ready for another kiss. Only Caleb wasn’t looking at my mouth.

  “You…”

  He met my gaze.

  “Please. It’s all I can think about.”

  Heat filled my face and pretty much everywhere else too.

  “Can I?”

  My dick was so damn hard.

  “While I was inside making lunch, Isaac texted me. He and Dante have gone to the clubhouse.”

  “You really want to—”

  “Yes.” Caleb scooted back on my legs and unzipped my jeans with long, graceful fingers. When my dick sprung out of my shorts, Caleb groaned.

  What the fuck had happened to the scared, reticent kid from just a few weeks ago?

  The whole thing was like a dream. I expected to wake up any minute in my bed at the clubhouse with my morning wood demanding attention and Hung in the other bed loudly fucking someone.

  When Caleb’s full, soft lips touched the head of my cock, I almost came off the blanket. Pre-cum dribbled onto Caleb’s lips, and I groaned at the sight.

  “I have a feeling I’m gonna embarrass myself,” I rasped.

  Caleb smiled, opened his mouth, and went down on me. I sucked in a breath, the feeling of his hot mouth on my sensitive cock unbelievably good. I’d been sucked plenty of times, but never by someone I really cared about. Never by this angel I’d been infatuated with for so long. I wanted to grab hold of those infuriating curls and push Caleb’s head down until my cock filled that pretty throat of his, but I didn’t; I wasn’t about to do something that might set him back in his recovery. I was still reeling from the turn of events, and now he was giving me the best goddamn head I’d ever had. I never wanted it to end. It was all I could do to keep the thrusts of my hips short and gentle.

  I couldn’t last, not with the visual of Caleb bending over me, round ass in the air, so intent on licking and sucking me, pink tongue flickering over my taut skin. The whole thing was erotic as hell, and before I knew it, a tingling began in my spine and my balls drew up.

  “I’m gonna come…”

  Caleb surprised me again by covering my dick with his mouth and sucking urgently. Before I could even think about pushing him away, I came in his mouth, watching in a daze as he swallowed all of it down and licked his lips like my spunk was fucking cake batter.