Moth to a Flame

by Antoinette, Ashley

  A panicked look crossed Raven’s face as she thought of herself with a baby. “Oh, shit,” she whispered as her legs gave out on her and she flopped down on the bed. “Pregnant?” This wasn’t supposed to happen to her. Living with Mizan was one thing, but to have his baby took their relationship to an entirely new level. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that, and, most importantly, she was afraid of how Mizan would feel if it turned out to be true. Having a baby was irreversible. Her life would be forever changed. Nikki noticed the look of uncertainty on Raven’s face.

  “There’s only one way to find out for sure.” Nikki shrugged. “Let’s go get a test.”

  “I can’t. I need to wait for Mizan to come back,” Raven said.

  “We’re just running to the store ... come on,” Nikki replied with a frown.

  Raven pulled out her cell phone to check in with Mizan. She didn’t want him to come back and find her gone. When she got his voicemail she sighed and flipped her phone closed. “He’s not answering and I don’t feel like going to the store anyway. Can you just go pick it up and bring it back for me?” she asked.

  Nikki nodded uncertain. It seemed to her that Raven had been locked down, but she didn’t want to seem like she was hating so she simply agreed. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.”

  Raven paced back and forth anxiously. Ten minutes felt like hours. She met Nikki at the door and snatched the test out of her hand. As soon as she peed on the stick, two lines began to appear.

  She put her hand over her mouth. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered as she turned to look at Nikki.

  “Y’all didn’t use condoms?” Nikki asked.

  “Yes!” Raven yelled hysterically.

  “Every time, Rae? All it takes is one slip-up,” Nikki stated seriously with sympathetic eyes.

  “I mean, no, not every time, but most of the time, and when we didn’t he pulled out,” Raven exclaimed in bewilderment. “This shit is unreal. This cannot be happening.”

  “What are you gon’ do?” Nikki asked.

  “I don’t know,” Raven replied absently. All she could think of was how Mizan was going to react.

  Mizan and Rich sat in the car watching Benjamin Atkins. They had been following him for months in an attempt to learn his routine.

  “You see that? I bet you that’s his connect,” Mizan said, referring to an older black woman getting out of a car. They watched as Benjamin helped the woman out and escorted her into a small bakery.

  “Man, that old bitch ain’t his connect,” Rich said. “We wasting our time with all this stalking bullshit. You trying to do too much. You playing house with his daughter, trying to get her to lead you to the safe ... You been fucking that bitch for months and we’re still in the same position. I’m starting to think you got ol’ girl around for another reason. I say we quit playing games and run in his spot.”

  Mizan shook his head. “We tried that already, remember?” He thought of the three members of his crew who had gotten aired out by Benjamin. “Nah, we got to take our time on this one. Tie all loose ends. I got Raven under control. I’ve been popping holes in the condoms.”

  “I know I heard you wrong, fam. You trying to get shorty pregnant?” Rich asked in disbelief.

  Mizan nodded as he continued to watch the bakery, never taking his eyes off Benjamin.

  “A pregnant bitch is loyal to her man above anyone else. Once she’s carrying my seed she’ll do anything I ask her to,” Mizan explained.

  “And if she doesn’t?” Rich shot back.

  “She will.”

  “And you really think that the old lady is supplying Benjamin with the birds?” Mizan’s plan didn’t make sense to Rich, and he wanted to make sure that all of his bases were covered before he went up against the hood legend.

  Mizan pointed toward the bakery, Rich turned to see Benjamin and his goons carrying pie boxes out of the shop and loading them into one of the shop’s delivery vans.

  “I know Benny Atkins ain’t eating a hundred pies, my nigga.” Mizan smiled and started his car so that he could follow the delivery truck. He knew that he was close to the biggest come-up of his life. Ever since he had met Raven he had been watching her pops. For Benjamin to be such a legend in the streets he moved like a rookie. He had gotten comfortable and was too easy a mark. Benjamin picked up 100 kilos of cocaine from the old woman twice a month. Same day, same time, rain or shine. It never failed. Mizan had meticulously observed Benjamin, wanting to learn as much about him as he possibly could before attempting to rob him. He estimated there to be close to half a million dollars worth of product in that safe, and he wanted it all. He knew that strong, arming his way into the house would be suicide. His only way in was Raven, and it was only a matter of time before he convinced her to rob her own father blind.

  Raven’s hands were sweaty as she sat next to Nikki with her knees tucked to her chest. They hadn’t spoken a word for hours. Raven had asked Nikki to stay with her until Mizan came home. She didn’t know how she was going to break the news, and she needed her girl for support. When Raven heard keys in the front door, her stomach tightened and she stood up.

  “Hey, baby,” she said, as a thousand butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

  Mizan came in and stood silently as he looked from Raven to Nikki. “I thought I told you not to invite anybody over here,” he stated with no emotion.

  “I know, but I needed some company. I ... I was feeling sick today,” she replied. “That’s why I called Nikki over. I have something I need to tell you.”

  Mizan stared at her blankly as he waited for her to continue, but in his head he already knew what was about to come out of her mouth.

  “I’m pregnant,” she whispered. Her voice shook and was so low that he almost didn’t hear her.

  On the inside he smiled, but on the outside he remained calm. He put his hands on top of his head and closed his eyes as if it was the worst news he could have gotten.

  “You’re what?” he asked.

  “I’m pregnant,” she replied, her eyes on the floor as her heart tore in half from the devastated look on his face. She looked back at Nikki, who came and stood beside her, grabbing her hand because she knew that it was not the reaction Raven had been hoping for. “Say something, Raven pleaded. “Are you mad?” she asked as tears began to accumulate in her eyes.

  “No, I’m not mad, baby. Calm down.” Mizan approached her and kissed her forehead. “There’s just a lot of stuff you don’t know. I can’t bring a baby into my world right now. I’ve got to go ... I need to clear my head.”

  “Where are you going?” she asked. “You just got home.” Her questions bounced off his back as he walked out the door.

  Mizan smiled deviously as he pulled away in his car. Raven was vulnerable to his manipulation. Her emotions were all over the place. He knew that she thought he was going to leave her, and he was sure that at that moment she would do anything in her power to keep him. He was about to set his plans into motion. He was tired of being on the bottom, robbing petty niggas for petty cash. He was ready to inherit the throne, and he was going to enjoy contributing to Benjamin Atkins’ fall from grace.

  “Don’t touch Raven,” Mizan instructed as he pulled the ski mask over his face. “I don’t give a fuck about that other bitch, but Raven belongs to me.”

  “I think you’re feeling her and don’t want to admit it,” Rich replied.

  “I don’t give a fuck about a bitch. This is about a dollar. I’ve got to do this. It’ll make her desperate to get this money, and where do you think she’s going to go get it?” Mizan asked. He didn’t wait for Rich to reply. “Right back home to Daddy.”

  Mizan and Rich got out of the car and approached Mizan’s house with pistols in hand. Mizan knocked on the door. He knew that Raven had a bad habit of opening the door to see who was outside, instead of looking through the peephole, and as soon as he saw it crack he kicked it open. The impact of the door caused Raven to fall to the floor.

  “
Nikki!” she screamed as she scrambled backward, away from the two masked men.

  Nikki came rushing into the room, but instantly turned on her heels when she realized what was happening. Rich went running after her, grabbing her by the hair. “Bitch, where you think you going?” he asked.

  “No!” Nikki screamed as she kicked and swung, trying to free herself of his hold. Rich covered her mouth with his hand and she bit down as hard as she could.

  “Aghh fuck! You bitch!” he hollered as he backhanded her across the face.

  “Nikki!” Raven screamed as she was snatched up from the floor. Snot and tears covered her face as she pushed her assailant off of her. She had no idea that the man behind the mask was Mizan, and the fear she felt paralyzed her.

  “Raven!” Nikki yelled, hysterical. They called for each other as if they could save one another, as if they weren’t in the same predicament.

  The men manhandled the girls, dragging them down the hallway toward the bedroom.

  “No! No please!” Raven screamed as she held on to the walls. Mizan held her with such force that her nails broke and her fingertips bled. “No!”

  “Shut that bitch up!” Rich screamed.

  They forced the girls onto the bed, sticking their guns in the center of their foreheads. Rich went into action. He was the only one who could speak because they would have recognized Mizan’s voice.

  “Put your hands out,” Rich instructed. The girls hudd-led together, hugging each other for dear life. Mizan snatched Raven’s hands so hard that she felt like her wrists were breaking.

  “What do you want?” Raven yelled.

  “We want our money. That nigga Mizan been dodging me for weeks. Now we’re here to collect,” Rich said harshly, planting the mental seed so that Mizan could grow it later. “Where the money?”

  “I don’t know!” she responded.

  “Too bad for you,” Rich replied in a sinister tone.

  She sniffled loudly as Mizan zip-tied her wrists together in front of her. When Nikki saw Raven’s wrists getting bound, she knew what they had in store for them. They’re going to kill us, she thought. She knew that she didn’t have anything to lose. She ran for the door full speed. She got all the way to the front door, but as soon as she opened it Rich came barreling into her from behind, causing the weight of her body to slam the door.

  “Where you going, bitch?” he asked through clenched teeth as he threw her down on the floor. He mounted her, licking his lips as he noticed her ripe body for the first time. “Now I’ma have to teach you a lesson,” he said as he unbuckled his pants, preparing to have a little fun.

  As Nikki looked up into the eyes of the man in front of her she began to sob, her chest heaving up and down as her head fell to the side. She felt him get on top of her and slide her shaky legs open. She closed her eyes and refused to look. She didn’t want to be a witness to the rape that was about to occur.

  Mizan looked down at Raven as she sat with her head down and her hands in front of her body. As he pointed his gun to her head, she was so afraid that she shook violently. He pushed her back on the bed and got on top of her, staring her directly in her eyes.

  “Please don’t do this,” she cried as she listened to the screams of Nikki coming from the next room. He ignored her pleas and opened her legs. She used all of her strength to keep them closed, but he was too strong and pulled them apart with such force, she thought they may have broken.

  His ultimate goal was to scare her into submission. He had to make her think that her back was against a wall so that when he asked her to do the unthinkable, she would agree.

  When she saw him unzip his pants she knew there was no stopping him. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stop crying as he positioned himself on top of her. She was waiting for the pain to come. She was prepared to scream with Nikki as they were tortured together. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat while her heart beat rapidly. She stifled her cries, and she felt a cold hand on her thigh she tensed in terror.

  “When Mizan find out you did this to me, he’s going to kill you. You bitch-ass nigga,” she whispered hatefully as she trembled and stared her attacker in the eyes.

  Mizan paused and looked down at Raven. He was surprised at her loyalty. Despite the threat of danger, Raven had stood behind her man. He scoffed and got to his feet as he zipped his pants back up. He had always demanded her loyalty, but with the words that had just come out of her mouth she had gained his in return. He saw Raven in a new light, and in that moment he decided to keep her around after he got rid of her father.

  Boom! Out of nowhere a loud blast erupted through the house. “Nik!” Raven screamed out for her, and when Nikki didn’t respond she knew what it meant.

  Mizan rushed out of the room. When he saw the bloodbath in front of him, he snatched Rich up by the neck and pushed him toward the door.

  Raven ran into the room, not caring that they had guns pointed in her direction. She had to check on Nikki. She knew in her heart that she had been shot, but when she saw her lying in the middle of the floor naked, a pool of blood surrounding her head, she fell to her knees beside her.

  “No ... no, Nik ... wake up!” she whispered as she cradled her bloody face in her hands. Raven tried to press her hands against the bullet hole in her temple, but nothing she did would stop the profuse flow of blood as it seeped onto the floor.

  Raven crawled to the house phone and picked it up, her shaky hand barely able to dial 911. “Please, I need help,” she muttered hopelessly.

  Rich lunged toward her to snatch the phone from her hand, but Mizan grabbed his forearm forcefully and stared him in the eye. The look he gave Rich spoke a thousand words. He had meant what he said: Rich was not to touch Raven. Oddly, Mizan knew he felt something deeper for Raven then he was willing to admit, and he gave her one last look before pushing Rich out the front door.

  “Fuck did you do?” he screamed at Rich as soon as they were in the getaway car.

  “Shit got out of hand,” Rich said nonchalantly as he peeled off the ski mask.

  “You stupid mu’fucka. Now my crib is a fucking crime scene. I said scare the bitch, not kill her,” Mizan said, enraged. He hit the steering wheel in frustration and put as much distance between himself and his house as possible. “Fuck!” he shouted. He hadn’t meant for anyone to get seriously hurt. Fuck it, what’s done is done, he thought. His cell phone began to vibrate and he pulled it off his hip to see that it was Raven, trying to reach him. He picked it up.

  “Yo’?” he answered coolly.

  “I ... I need you to come home. She’s shot ... . They came in here ... They tied me up.” She sobbed uncontrollably. She was so terrified that she couldn’t piece her words together intelligibly.

  Mizan played his role perfectly, like a skilled actor. “What? Rae, I can’t understand you. Calm down and tell me what went down.” He tried to appear rational.

  Raven didn’t have the strength to repeat herself, and all he heard were her wails accompanied by sirens. “I’m on my way,” he shouted, then hung up the phone.

  He pulled up to Rich’s house and they both went inside, where Mizan quickly changed clothes. Before Mizan left, he said, “Keep your mouth shut about what happened tonight. I’ll let you know when we’re hitting the safe. Until then, lay low.”

  Rich nodded and Mizan pulled off into the night, heading back to his house to come to the rescue of the woman he had just terrorized.

  Chapter Eight

  Flashing red, white, and blue lights were scattered all over Mizan’s street when he pulled onto his block. He made sure that he tucked his pistol underneath his seat before he got out to search for Raven. He saw her standing on the front yard, speaking with a police officer, and he hesitantly made his way over to her. When she saw him she broke down, running to him as if he could take all of her pain away. She melted into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her.

  “It’s okay, ma ... I’m right here,” he whispered
in her ear. “What happened?” he asked.

  Before she could respond a police officer interrupted them. He attempted to finish questioning Raven, but in her current state she wasn’t much help. She refused to say too much. All she could think of was Nikki and how close she had come to ending up just like her. There were policemen and paramedics everywhere, and all Raven wanted to do was get away from all the madness.

  “Let’s get you out of here,” Mizan said, touching her with such care that he even fooled himself into thinking his concern was genuine. She began to walk away with him, but stopped suddenly when she heard a paramedic call out for help behind her.

  “We have a pulse in here! We need to get her to a hospital before we lose her!”

  Raven turned around and ran back toward the house. “She’s alive? Raven called out in shock. She had seen all of the blood that had come out of Nikki. “They shot her in the head,” she whispered in pure disbelief. A police officer stopped her from getting too close to the gurney that Nikki lay on. “Is she all right? I just want to know if she’s okay!” she shouted. “She needs me!”

  Mizan grabbed Raven by her waist and carried her away kicking and screaming. “I have to be with her!” she yelled. She spoke with such persistence that Mizan had to oblige. He grabbed her by the shoulders to calm her down.

  “We will meet her at the hospital,” he assured her.

  The waiting room was eerily silent as Raven sat between Mizan and Nikki’s mother. They had been there for five hours anticipating the results of the emergency surgery that Nikki was undergoing.

  “I don’t understand this ... I don’t understand how this happened to my baby,” Nikki’s mother said.

  “I’m so sorry, Auntie Gena,” Raven whispered as she put her face in her hands.

  “I can’t just sit here and wait. I need to find out what’s going on in there!”

  Nikki’s mother stormed off, an emotional wreck, while Raven leaned against Mizan. It was 4:00 A.M. and Raven’s body begged her to rest, but she could not sleep until she found out if her best friend would make it.