The First Cut: A Dark Psychological Thriller (Gushers Series Book 1)

by Chuck Buda

  Spencer composed himself and brought out an ancient dagger from his father’s collection. The dagger held no particular significance, which is why he had been able to secret it from his father’s display. Plus, Spencer told her, it was kept on the bottom shelf and near the back of the display case. The chances of his father discovering its absence was small. Unlike the special sword which took center stage.

  He began to aim the point of the dagger inside his thigh when Zoe decided she wanted to be more involved. Spencer looked into her eyes and expressed his fear she would lose control or slip and cause real damage to his body. Zoe suggested she use the dagger on herself then. She wanted to be part of the ritual and if she could donate her own blood then it would mean so much to her. Spencer thought about it briefly before relenting. He handed the dagger to Zoe and showed her where she wanted to slice, how deep to make the incision, and a word of warning about the pain.

  Zoe knew the pain wouldn’t be an issue for her. She made the cut and watched the crimson flow from her inner thigh into the jar Spencer held against her skin. The excitement at using her own blood made Zoe hot with desire. She kissed Spencer deeply as he collected her blood. She wanted to feel him inside again. Her hand felt along until it found something he could use to provide another sample. She clutched it and stroked, still slick from the last time.

  As she started to feel faint from letting so much blood out, Spencer slapped a piece of duct tape on her thigh. She laid down on her back and beckoned him to climb on top of her. Spencer did as he was told. They writhed for a few more minutes in ecstasy as they climaxed together. Spencer slammed his fist on the floor in frustration for wasting the seed. Zoe giggled and told him to tilt the jar in front of her. She squeezed her muscles several times, ejecting the semen which trickled into the jar.

  Spencer smiled, happy he had not wasted an opportunity. Zoe felt close to Spencer for the first time. Closer than just friends. She nuzzled into his armpit and they laid inside the pentagram in silence.

  Zoe’s mind worked overtime while her body shut down and rested. The progression of her plan had been good. And she saw it getting better each time. She laughed to herself that they wanted to be a silly club like fang bangers from the television series, True Blood. Instead, they were more than that program. There were no vampires, but the blood and sex had been much more satisfying than what could be seen on the show.

  Next, Zoe wanted to take both to new heights. The sex would have to be much more intense. Much dirtier. And they needed to have more blood. Much more blood. Zoe wanted to leave her mark on The First Cut and her friends. And she wanted to be known for the power she could wield.

  She smiled at the ceiling as she thought of the next steps.

  Chapter 38

  Leah awoke to the smell of bacon cooking downstairs. She cleared away the sleep from her eyes. After crying all day yesterday and part of the night, Leah realized she had fallen asleep and gotten some much needed rest. She also gained perspective.

  She rolled onto her side and stared at the posters on her wall. Leah was in a much better mood this morning. She thought about Aiden and his persistence last night to speak with her. Even though she was still upset with him for his actions in the hot tub, Leah felt she might be ready to work on forgiving him. His apology had been so sincere. She knew he had cried. Her feelings were obviously important to him. His speech was honest.

  And he told her he loved her.

  Leah smiled at the image of Aiden standing below her window in the shadows, apologizing and admitting his feelings for her. It warmed her heart that Aiden was still the boy she thought he was. Yes, he had screwed up in a big way and he had to work on rebuilding her trust in him. But it had been a mistake, and not a callous intent to hurt her.

  Did he really love me?

  Leah wondered how she should handle things now. She found it difficult to ignore Aiden or treat him harshly after what he said last night. Yet, the pain in her heart was still fresh. Leah wasn’t the type of person to hold grudges or make big deals out of problems. Of course, she thought, this situation wasn’t typical of her standard daily frustrations.

  It was big. Huge.

  Aiden had been such a good friend to her for so many years. She always had a soft spot in her heart for him over the other guys because of how genuine and pure he was. Was he as hot as Todd or Ryan? Not even close. But Aiden was the kind of boy girls could bring home to mom and dad. The kind of boy who acts like a gentleman and treats a girl right.

  Like shoving his dick in Jordyn? Right in front of you?

  Leah squeezed her eyes shut to blurt out the images which plagued her consciousness. She needed to figure out how to get through the next week. She didn’t need reminders of Friday night.

  Leah thought about Aiden’s admission. He said he loved her. She felt the same way about him until recently. It wasn’t a head over heels love, more like a puppy love leaning toward crush love. The more she thought about it though, Leah realized it might have been stronger than she had ever admitted to herself. Aiden was someone she could talk to. Confide in. She loved to spend time with him and he allowed her to be herself. Leah didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t like she sometimes did around Zoe and Jordyn. With the girls, Leah had to keep up with them in order to maintain her status as part of their elite group.

  But Aiden was normal. Neither he nor she exactly fit with the other members of the group. Leah suspected they were still part of the group just because they had all been close friends back in grammar school. When the others stretched into popular kids with the cool crowd, they probably felt bad and dragged Aiden and Leah around with them out of years of loyalty as opposed to a real desire to be friends.

  The smell of the bacon was intoxicating. The odor wafted through the vents and under her bedroom door. Leah wanted to eat so badly. Today, she would put the tirade behind her and rejoin her family. Leah knew she would have to apologize for her behavior. She might even be expected to explain why she had acted this way. She had to come up with a cover story so she wouldn’t cause her parents to ban her from seeing Aiden or hanging out with her friends.

  Aiden.

  What was she going to do about him? He said he wanted to quit The First Cut. She wanted to do the same but she knew it would be the equivalent of self-exile in Siberia. It just wasn’t worth it to put herself through such a torture with only a few months remaining before graduation. The summer would slip by quickly and before she knew it she would be away at college with new friends. And a fresh start without anyone knowing what she had done.

  Now she had to save Aiden from himself. It was noble what he intended to do on her behalf. But if Aiden no longer hung out with them, Leah saw no reason for her to continue. Especially with The First Cut. The idea of the club was exciting because of the chance to finally hook up with Aiden. She thought Todd and Ryan were cute but she didn’t like them enough to stick around. Although, she had to admit the sex with Todd was pretty exciting. Painful at first and then very pleasurable.

  She felt her cheeks blush as she replayed the events in the hot tub.

  Leah had to stop Aiden from making a fool of himself. She worried about his safety, too. Zoe had made it sound like anybody trying to leave once things started would be dealt with. At the time, it was natural to believe that meant ex-communication from the group and most likely back-stabbing gossip around the school.

  She wasn’t so sure anymore now that things had gotten out of control. Blood and knives and dark rituals. Leah imagined cloaked figures stringing Aiden up in the forest and burning the tree he was tied to. She shuddered and tried to push away the images as silly. Her friends would never be capable of harming others like that. Especially, one another.

  Can you be so sure?

  Leah got dressed before joining her family downstairs for breakfast. She fixed her hair so she didn’t look like she had been like a hermit for the last day and a half.

  While she fixed herself up, Leah thought about the
best way to stop Aiden from self-destructing. She still needed to think further on it. And she wanted to remain distant from her friends today. Maybe after school tomorrow she would pull Aiden aside and speak with him about the best options. She definitely wanted to look him in the face when she spoke to him so he could understand her sincerity in his best interests.

  And she wanted to see more of him.

  Leah was still very upset with him. The anger was disappearing. Mostly. The hurt would take longer to heal. But she couldn’t cut him off just because he made a mistake. And the punishment would be just as detrimental to herself as Aiden. And that wouldn’t be fair to her, she chuckled.

  Leah opened her bedroom door to an overpowering whiff of eggs added to the bacon. Her stomach growled and she took a deep breath. It was time to get back on track.

  Chapter 39

  He was more determined than ever about the plan. Aiden would talk to Zoe tomorrow after school. He had to quit The First Cut and make a stand. Nothing had ever felt so important to him in his life until he had arrived at this conclusion last night.

  Aiden had slept better last night after talking to Leah. His conscience felt clearer, not completely clean though. Just like Leah would need time to forgive him, he would need to give himself time to put everything behind him. Behind but not forgotten.

  He was happy he had gotten through to Leah. Aiden had obsessed over apologizing and explaining himself. Now that it was done, he could breathe a bit easier. And try to move forward.

  Aiden wondered how to broach the topic of quitting with Zoe. He feared it would have to be like ripping a bandage off a healing wound. It would be painful and be sore afterward. The key would be to get Zoe alone. Not an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. Zoe liked to surround herself with acolytes and followers. Jordyn and Leah were usually in tow. Or Ryan, Spencer and Todd. Or all of them. Zoe couldn’t exist without other people around her. Her persona was larger than life and required dominance over lesser beings. Without others, Zoe would be plain. And that wouldn’t suffice...without the others.

  He thought about her movements throughout the day at school. In between classes, too many people filled the hallways. Kids within earshot would be too risky. Before school, Zoe usually commuted with Jordyn or Ryan, depending on who chose to drive each day. They took turns so everyone had a fair chance of showing off their wheels at school. And with limited parking near the school, it didn’t make sense for everyone to drive separately.

  After school would provide the best opportunity. Aiden would have to get to her before the others showed up. Of course, he would have to pay attention to the carpooling arrangements to know what his chances would be like. If Zoe were hooking up with the guys then Aiden would have less of a chance to speak with her. Jordyn and Leah were always slow to exit the building. Their extra-curriculars necessitated brief conversations with faculty after hours. Or sometimes they would have to prep for activities in the library. Zoe would sit on the hood of the car, taking in the sun and showing off her long legs while she waited.

  He ran through the potential arguments Zoe would pose. She would most likely tell Aiden if he gave up The First Cut then he was essentially giving up his friends. His response would be, if they were his REAL friends, they would understand his discomfort and support his decision. Zoe would argue he could never tell others what the club had discussed and he definitely couldn’t reveal what had taken place. Aiden would respond, as their friend, he wouldn’t stoop to the level of making his friends look bad or expose their private doings.

  What if Zoe threatened something against Aiden? What if she threatened to tell his parents what he had been doing? She wouldn’t do that because his parents would go to the school to file a complaint about “cult-like” activities within the student body which would start an investigation. Everyone would suffer from such a threat. She could turn Leah against him. Could Leah be more against Aiden than she already was? Maybe, he reasoned. But he wasn’t as worried about that possibility because he felt he had taken steps to improve his standing with Leah last night. Again, maybe.

  The thing which would hurt Aiden the most would be if Zoe turned his friends against him. If everyone became convinced Zoe was right in her feelings about Aiden then it would be a very lonely last few months of school. Graduation would suck. No pictures with friends. No graduation parties to attend. And then a long, hot summer by himself before going off to college.

  This is where Zoe held the most power over Aiden.

  He wondered if he should lobby with Todd and Ryan before speaking with Zoe. If he could get his side of the story out first then maybe the pressure would be on Zoe to allow his departure without incident. Of course, if word got back to Zoe he had discussed things with them before her, the results would be more disastrous. And that was assuming they took his side at all.

  No. Best to have a chat with her to gauge her tolerance for his decision. And it would give him an opportunity to stand up to her without either of them losing face in front of the others. What are the chances you’ll stand up to her? You have no backbone. Aiden couldn’t argue with his conscience. He didn’t exactly have a track record of defending himself or speaking up about his feelings. Things had changed for him but not enough where he now walked around with courage of his convictions.

  As much as he tried to anticipate the conversation, Aiden knew Zoe was a wild card. Her moods and her will could take on different shapes and sizes depending on the direction of the wind. It was good to have a general plan and prepared points in advance. But anything could happen. Aiden just had to be sure to be on his toes. And to pump himself up so she couldn’t knock him down so quickly. Or easily.

  He thought about Leah. She was the strongest reason for why he was quitting. He wanted to walk so she could be more comfortable. Either she could stay with The First Cut without having to deal with him. Or she could use his quitting as the impetus to walk out, too. Then she would be relieved of future discomfort. The most important thing was for Leah to feel better. It was his sole purpose. And it was the least he could do since he had caused her pain.

  The gnawing in the back of his mind continued to plague his thoughts. What if Leah never forgave him? What if he never got to see her anymore outside a casual passing in the school hallways? Never got to smell her hair again? See her smile and stare into those beautiful eyes? Hear her laugh?

  How would he explain to his parents he no longer hung out with his friends?

  That was less of a concern in the grand scheme of things. It was a problem for him but not as important as Leah remaining a presence in his life. Aiden felt his stomach twist in knots, thoughts of a world without Leah becoming more of a reality.

  Aiden just had to make sure it didn’t happen. And that started with a conversation with Zoe. A strong conversation. As equals and not as a subservient pawn for her own popularity and self-esteem.

  Tomorrow would be an interesting day. His nerves would be frayed by the time he had the chance to meet with Zoe.

  Chapter 40

  School seemed to drag on all day. Leah pretended it was because it happened to be Monday. And Mondays were insufferable after the weekend. In her heart of hearts, the day dragged on because she was burdened with thoughts of Aiden.

  After re-integrating herself with her family on Sunday, Leah had calmed down and become more pensive. She was still upset about Friday night’s events, but the more she thought about it, Aiden hadn’t really done anything purposely to hurt her. Leah felt more hurt by not being Aiden’s first and he being hers. Somehow, Leah had imagined if things had progressed the way they were headed, Aiden and she would have been able to ride out the storm together. And have some cherished memories for down the road.

  She labored on what to say to Aiden after school. Leah had over-analyzed the perfect words in order to display her forgiveness while continuing to show Aiden he needed to give her time to heal. Then she would revise the imaginary conversation in her mind. Leah hadn’t paid at
tention in any classes today. She stared at the front of the classroom but her thoughts were focused on the upcoming conversation.

  Leah had avoided running into Aiden in the hallways between classes. Their typical schedules brought them across each other’s paths between two different periods. Both times, Leah lingered in her previous classroom so she wouldn’t encounter him. Leah was afraid if they ran into each other, then he would want to talk about things again. And she wanted to do it right, not try to squeeze it all in within a two minute break. Besides, too many people would be in the vicinity increasing the chances of someone listening in or interrupting.

  The day finally came to an end. Leah gathered her books from her locker. She stared into her eyes as she looked in the small mirror hanging on the door. Her eyes still looked puffy and sunken. Too much crying and not enough sleep, she complained to herself. Leah touched up her make-up. The hallway slowly emptied as students made their way home.

  She glanced nervously over her shoulder. Leah worried Zoe and Jordyn would happen by while she stood at her locker. She didn’t want to get caught up in their exit because she wanted to speak with Aiden unencumbered by friends. Leah knew if the guys caught up to her, she could easily dismiss them. Ryan and Todd would be too busy clowning around and high-fiving. Spencer was usually pensive and quiet. Guys were easier to deal with than girls.

  She closed her locker door and slung her backpack over her shoulder. Leah started the walk through the halls. A nervous tickle settled in her belly. It made her chuckle to herself for being nervous. She had known Aiden for years and considered him a good friend. Why should she be nervous about speaking with him?