Ayrie: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  He nodded, a knowing smile on his lips. He was acting as if I had already agreed to throw myself at Elle’s feet. “That’s a good start. As a matter of fact, your friend’s place is a short flight from the pick-up location.” He said his next words with an innocent look on his face. “Just in case you decide to go there for a visit after your flight.”

  I shook my head. “We’ll see, Anders. We’ll see.”

  The flight down was uneventful. Anders had personally checked the maintenance logs of the ship, making sure it was up-to-date. I wasn’t going to get stuck on the planet with my brother.

  When I watched Anders pilot a spaceship, it always gave me an inferiority complex. He had so much control that our shuttle seemed like an extension of himself. He set our ship down as lightly as a feather.

  He was wasting his talents doing supply runs. He needed to get back to being a fighter pilot. I would have to have a word with our father about Anders when I got back to the ship.

  I took a nervous breath as we climbed out of the shuttle. It was an unbelievably beautiful day on Vandwa, with clear blue skies and a light breeze. It would be perfect for soaring.

  “There’s a private area over there for the crew. You can access it from the outside and take out your wings.” He motioned to a couple of doors in the warehouse. “I hope you make the right choice, Ayrie. Go for it. Don’t let your fear stop you.”

  I still wasn’t sure which decision was correct, but the right one seemed to involve a petite brunette who I couldn’t get out of my head. I watched Anders leave with trepidation. Was I really going to talk to Elle? What if she didn’t want to see me?

  A small, quiet thought popped into my head, silencing all the rest. What if I didn’t do anything, and I never saw her again for the rest of my life?

  The idea made me sick to my stomach. I had only spent a few days without her, and it had already been too long. Spending a lifetime without Elle was inconceivable. I held out for another moment, enjoying the perfect Vandwan day, and then I let myself go.

  Something unclenched inside me, and I was set free. It felt like I was flying, and yet my feet were still firmly planted on the ground.

  I had been a fool. I loved Elle, and I was going to get her back.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ELLE

  Ashlyn and I lay on blankets wearing bikinis while we watched Kathryn swim on the beach outside their house. The natives were always swimming. Nathaniel and Kathryn had finally revealed how their breathing worked. Two areas along their torso had gills. Kitty had dived beneath the ocean and waved at me while smiling and swimming underwater. She wasn’t holding her breath. She was actually breathing down there.

  “I was a wreck the first time she did a deep-water dive. She was little more than a baby. During the Vandwan holidays, the custom is for the children to pick up their presents from the ocean floor. She was just a baby at the time, but I’ve gotten used to it.” Ashlyn rubbed her forehead absently. “She’s my daughter and as close to me as anyone, but she’s also Vandwan and not entirely human.”

  “If Ayrie and I had a baby, it would have had wings.” I turned from lying on a blanket on my stomach onto my back.

  “What does he look like with his wings out?”

  “You wouldn’t believe it even if you saw it. It’s hot! He has to take off his shirt to fly, and he exposes all his muscles and enormous wings. But why am I talking about him? He’s not coming back.”

  “Maybe you don’t want him to be gone.”

  I shook my head. I was miserable without him. I had no idea how I was going to get through the rest of my life alone.

  “It’s hard to watch you pining, Elle.”

  “That’s not what I would call it at all. I’m getting my résumé in order, and I’m going to get a job. It’s only been a few days since Ayrie left.”

  “You’re more than welcome to wallow in misery.” Ashlyn held up her hands. “I know I would if it was Nat.”

  “Sadly, the tears you’ve seen are nothing compared to what goes on behind closed doors.” I didn’t want her to think I was totally okay with losing my husband. Ashlyn was a wonderful person, and we were becoming good friends. Having her family around during the past few days was the only reason I wasn’t going mad.

  “Have you considered all your options? What if you talked with him again?”

  “I’m not sure, Ashlyn. That’s probably not a good idea. It will open wounds that are just starting to heal.”

  “You don’t want them to close over and getting infected. What if Ayrie’s had a chance to think about things?” Her eyes started to light up. “Maybe he is as miserable as you have been. If you go to him, he might fall at your feet and beg to love you.”

  “Are you trying to make me cry again?”

  “You’re never going to know unless you give him a chance.”

  “He’s never changed.”

  “You’ve done things for the first time, too. You never said you were going to divorce him and left before.” Ashlyn started to nod her head. “It might be enough to clear his mind. Everybody can see he loves you. I can’t believe he still denies it.”

  “You’re out of your mind.”

  “I’m not the only person who thinks this way. Nat agreed with me. He’s pretty good at paying attention to our relationship, but noticing things about other people is not his strong suit.”

  “This is not helping me get over Ayrie.”

  “It’s not supposed to. All you have to do is talk to him one last time. Put everything on the table. If he still says he doesn’t want you, come back here and start a new life.” Ashlyn bit her lip. “But what if something has changed? Maybe he believed it when you said you wanted a divorce and is too scared to tell you how he feels. Despite their cold exterior, men can be fragile creatures, Elle.”

  “Ayrie doesn’t need anything from me.”

  “Yes, he does. Women are the strong ones. It might not be the greatest idea, but give him one last chance before you give up.” She could see my hesitation. “I’ll call Jayne for you right now and ask when the next shuttle is coming down to pick up supplies. You can fly back to the ship on it.”

  I reluctantly agreed with her. “Okay. I’ll try.”

  “Anders has his shuttle docked in Bay Three. He’s working today, so you can probably catch him there.”

  I glanced over at Gwen, a beautiful, fiery redhead who had piloted the shuttle bringing me back to our mothership. “Do you know Anders?”

  “Definitely. He’s friends with my husband, Jake, and he’s my partner. We usually fly together, but we’ve been working apart so we can make more shuttle runs.” I followed Gwen as she ducked around ships and waved to people as we passed. It seemed like she was in her element on the flight deck. I made sure to stay right on her tail. I didn’t want to get lost or run over. “Anders helped me study for my intergalactic license so I could fly outside of our solar system. He’s helped me learn all about Auxem. He brings me lunch when I’m on shift and I forget to eat. He’s is a good friend.”

  Gwen was painting a picture of Anders that I had often seen, but his brothers would never believe. “He’s my brother-in-law.”

  “Oh.” She looked faintly surprised. “Are you married to one of the princes? It must be Ayrie. You’re not anything like Jayne.”

  “That’s right. Ayrie’s my husband. And like you said, I am definitely not Jayne.” Everyone knew Jayne Lynch because she was responsible for the human women on the ship, making sure we had everything we needed and were healthy and happy.

  “She must have her hands full with the twins right now. Hey, there he is right now!” Her face lit up, and she waved enthusiastically.

  I turned my head to see Anders staring at us. Spending even just a few minutes with Gwen was starting to let me see him through her eyes. For the first time, I noticed how handsome he was, in an understated way. He had short brown hair and stood with his hands in his pockets, looking disinterested. His square jaw and brigh
t blue eyes were breathtaking when I saw him as a man and not only as my brother-in-law and friend. When we reached him, Gwen gave him a hug, and I watched the two with interest.

  “Didn’t I just see you yesterday, Gwen?” I had concealed myself behind her, and he finally caught sight of me. “Elle, what are you doing here?”

  “What kind of welcome is that for your sister-in-law?” Gwen gave Anders a push on the shoulder.

  “Well, it’s complicated.” He looked shocked and started to laugh.

  “I don’t understand what’s so funny, Anders, and I don’t think I want to know. I came here to see Ayrie. Do you know where I can find him?

  Anders laughed harder, barely managing to gasp out an answer to my question. “He’s not here.”

  “Where is he, then?” I stared at Anders in consternation. Jayne had told me Ayrie was staying with him.

  “I dropped him off on Vandwa before I came back. You came here with Gwen, didn’t you?”

  I nodded and wondered about the glint in his eyes when he said her name. I would have to talk to my brother-in-law about her eventually. I didn’t know when I would get the chance if I was going to divorce his brother. But whenever it happened, I was going to find out all about Gwen.

  “I did. I don’t understand what’s so funny, Anders.”

  “I guess it all depends on your point of view.” He regained control over himself, and his face became serious. “I can’t believe you came back.”

  “Don’t get too excited. Ashlyn convinced me to talk with him one last time. Wait a second. Why would he go down to the surface of the planet?”

  Anders shrugged his shoulders.

  I lifted my eyebrows. “He didn’t want to see me, did he?”

  He laughed again. “Ayrie is in love. Of course he wanted to see you! You must have come up here at the same time he left. He didn’t explicitly say he was going to try and get you back, Elle, but I know my brother.”

  “Fuck.” I covered my mouth, glancing at Gwen.

  She shook her head. “I fly with pilots every day. I’ve heard much worse.”

  Anders started laughing again.

  “I’m glad I’m a source of amusement for you, Anders.”

  He finally stopped laughing. “I just returned from a shuttle run. I’m only getting something to eat before going back again. Do you want to catch a ride?”

  AYRIE

  I emerged from the bathroom with my shirt removed and stuffed into the back pocket of my pants. After quickly looking around, I jumped and flew into the sky. I closed my eyes as I felt the wind blowing through my hair. I shouldn’t have to worry about anyone seeing me, but I had certain habits ingrained in my soul. There was prejudice everywhere, and I didn’t want to find trouble.

  As I flew over the warehouse and yard, I saw Anders emerge from a building. He looked up and waved before climbing into his shuttle. He was going to take it back to the mothership after reloading with supplies.

  I soared straight up until I reached a comfortable altitude before spreading my wings and catching an air current. I started to glide lazily over the ocean. In my mind, I went over my history with Elle from the time I had seen her at the first date night. She had seemed burdened and anxious, and I knew she was afraid to approach me.

  We had still talked to each other. Elle was scared, but she did it. I strengthened my resolve, wondering if I would back out at the last moment. I wanted to tell her. If she couldn’t forgive me, I wouldn’t be worse off than now.

  But Anders thought she would exonerate me. I had a chance. When I thought about it, leaving me showed how strong Elle was compared to when I had first met her. I liked to think I had helped her discover herself. I hadn’t given anything to her — it had been within her all along. She thought she deserved happiness, and that was something she had never been able to believe before.

  It occurred to me that I had never seen myself worthy of happiness before either. Like her, I had been avoiding the thought because I knew I didn’t deserve it. It was still hard to believe I was worthy now. But I knew Elle had earned it. The only way she would feel satisfaction was through my love. The idea of being happy was intoxicating, and I was sick of being miserable.

  At Ashlyn and Nathaniel’s house, I dropped down onto the beach, not bothering to put my wings away. I was going to take Elle to a different place so I could talk with her. We needed privacy. I knocked on the front door.

  The housekeeper, Mrs. Morley, answered. Her eyes went wide as she looked my wings. “Hello, Mr. Ayrie.” She put her hand on her chest and looked at me in amazement.

  “Who is it, Mrs. Morley?” Ashlyn’s voice came from the hallway. Ashlyn emerged and gasped before she blushed.

  Kitty ran in and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. Her eyes were as big as saucers.

  I guessed these women had never seen someone from Auxem in all their glory before. It was enough to make me feel self-conscious.

  Ashlyn pulled herself together in an instant. “You came back!”

  I nodded. “Where’s Elle? I want to talk to her.” I tried to sound polite — even though I was in a hurry, I didn’t want to scare the older woman and the little girl.

  Ashlyn’s jaw dropped, and she covered her mouth with her hand as she started to laugh. I didn’t think I looked funny. “Maybe I should just go.” I felt uncertain all of a sudden.

  “Don’t do that.” She came past Mrs. Morley. “I wasn’t laughing at you.” Ashlyn put a hand on my arm. “Elle’s not here. She went back to the ship a couple of hours ago. She’s probably knocking on your door right now.”

  The humor in the situation hit me, and I started to laugh, too. After we had calmed down, I ran a hand through my hair. “What do I do now?”

  “I don’t know Elle too well, but I bet by now she’s coming back to the surface. You shouldn’t go anywhere.”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. It’s sweet.”

  “Ayrie? What are you doing here?” Nathaniel’s voice came from the hallway. He saw me as he approached the door, joining the small crowd starting to assemble. “I thought you might come back. I imagine that as wonderful as we are, we’re not the primary reason for your visit today.”

  I shook my head.

  “You look different.” Nathaniel put his arm around Ashlyn. Kathryn leaned herself against his other side. They were the picture of a perfect family. I wondered if I would ever have the same things he did. “I can’t put my finger on it, though.” He knew I couldn’t punch him in front of the women like I wanted to. He gave me a knowing grin that turned into a genuine smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.” If I could find my wife, beg her forgiveness, and confess my love, everything would be perfect.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  AYRIE

  “Elle sent a message, and she needs a ride from the warehouse.” Ashlyn came out onto the beach. We were all assembled, waiting for Elle’s return. I had given Kitty a ride on my back. She had decided she wanted to have wings when she grew up.

  “I can run over and pick her up.” Nathaniel had been making a sand castle with his daughter, but he stood up and started getting ready to leave.

  “That’s okay. I’ll get Elle myself.”

  “Ayrie, I was hoping you would say that.”

  I moved closer to him so we could talk privately. “I need a place to have a conversation without an audience, if you know what I mean. Is there somewhere between here and the warehouse where we could have a bit of privacy?”

  Nathaniel thought for a minute. “Our planet is mostly open water. There’s an old guest house on the other side of this island. You should be able to spot it easily from the air. We keep it ready for guests, but we only use it when Ashlyn’s family comes over here. Ashlyn was just talking about the servants cleaning everything, including the bedding.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  My mouth dropped open, and I stared at him.

  “You don’t seem to
think about the future much. If everything goes well, you’ll be in need of a bed tonight. I’m rooting for you.”

  I closed my eyes. “All I’m thinking about is getting Elle to change her mind.” Unbidden, her image entered my head. She was naked and beautiful, just as she was the night we were together on the deserted island.

  Nathaniel gave me a sympathetic look. “If everything works out, don’t wait. You should form a bond with her.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

  “The guest house is the perfect spot for you. It’s a private place for you two to talk and do anything else that might come to mind.”

  “It’s not a sure thing.”

  “You should always be prepared.” He gave me a slap on the back. “Good luck.”

  I nodded, said goodbye, and went to get my wife.

  ELLE

  Ayrie set us down next to a cute house on the island. I got off his back as quickly as I could. Being close to him was weakening my resolve. I didn’t recognize where we were, but it looked like no one would bother us. He had brought me here to talk. It was better than being at Ashlyn and Nathaniel’s where there were always people everywhere. If he ended up breaking my heart again, I wanted him to do it privately.

  “Come on.” He took my hand and started walking toward the house.

  I wanted to pull away from him. I was enjoying holding his hand too much. Something in the way he looked at me made me decide against it.

  We walked together into the little cottage. It was spotless and smelled fresh as if someone had recently cleaned it and aired it out. I wondered how he had found the place.

  “What’s this about, Ayrie?” I felt like I had to break the silence first. I wanted to get everything over with one way or another. I released his hand and moved across the room from him. “Why did you come down looking for me?”

  “I might ask you the same thing. I heard you ran into Anders on the mothership.”

  I blushed. “Ashlyn convinced me to come and talk to you.”