Heartstrings

by Heather Gunter

  “Why?”

  I may be crazy, but something tells me that she was affected by calling me. My instincts are screaming at me and telling me to pay attention. Even her stating she lost a bet and Charlie made her call me, tells me that this is something I need to remember. The fact Charlie made the bet with Tori having to call me, as the loser, doesn’t even bother me. I could kiss Charlie for that, but then I’d have to feel the wrath of Maverick and I’d just as soon not be on his bad side. The thought makes me chuckle, recalling a previous conversation with Maverick when I called Charlie hot. Shit, did I hit a nerve with him, and man was he pissed. He deserved it though, and he needed to get his head out of his ass and stop being so damn stupid. And he did, eventually. Don’t get me wrong Charlie’s hot, but she’s just not the girl for me, and she’s certainly no fiery redhead.

  But there are things I need to know, like why did she leave me that night and was he worth it? My heart begins to hurt just thinking about that night a year ago. Before that first date we had flirted like crazy, until I’d finally gotten the nerve to ask her out. She said yes instantly, so I thought there was something worth exploring. She looked at me, the way I looked at her—as if time stopped. And when she looked at me, her green eyes would get even greener, which sounds impossible, but they did.

  I have so many unanswered questions and I know there has to be more to the story that I’m just not aware of. Tori has never been the same since that night, and she’s avoided me like the damn plague for the last year. She won’t look me in the eye, or speak to me, unless she has to.

  What did I do, to cause her to not speak to me?

  I sigh and shake myself out of this funk. I’m a guy and I need to man the hell up and try to get the girl. Because this is a girl I haven’t been able to shake myself from, and she is most definitely worth it.

  I grab my bathing suit trunks, towel and a cooler and head out to my truck calling Maverick on the way.

  He answers on the first ring. “What’s up bro? I heard Tori called and invited you to the lake. Are you coming?”

  First of all, he knows me well and knows that I’d never miss the chance to spend any time with Tori, so it seems like a dumb question to me. “Um, yeah, Tori lost a bet and didn’t get a choice in the matter.”

  “There’s always a choice Will. Do you even for a second believe that Charlie can make her do anything? If she didn’t want to call you bro, then she wouldn’t have. Simple as that. I know we’ve never spoken about the ‘date’, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here dude.”

  As his words sink in completely, I realize he’s right. Tori is strong willed, and if she didn’t want to call, then she wouldn’t have. If there ever were moments of second guessing myself, they are now dead and buried. I like this fiery girl a lot. And if I’m not mistaken, she likes me back.

  Chapter 3

  I hear a tapping on the door and suddenly I see Charlie’s head peek around, only showing her face. “Well, did you call him and is he coming?” She asks. There’s a hint of excitement in her voice that I can see she’s trying hard not show on her face and she’s failing. I inwardly chuckle.

  “Yes Char, I did. He’s meeting us at noon. Do you have the bathing suit on?” I see her face get her typical pink flush when she’s either embarrassed or nervous. “I’ve seen you in it already, so what are you worried about? You know I wouldn’t say it looked good on you if it didn’t. You know I’m as honest as it comes.”

  I am such a liar. I feel a twinge of guilt start to seep through and then quickly tell myself, “When it comes to Charlie, and helping her feel better about herself, I am always honest.”

  She gingerly opens the door all the way and stands in the doorway. The deep purple is a perfect color for her. The suit is a halter style that wraps around her neck. It makes her already curvy body, more so. She needed a halter to hold the ‘girl’s’ up, as she likes to call them. Charlie is so beautiful, but still has some issues with accepting and believing it. She is not fat by any means whatsoever. She’s got curves that I would kill to have. I’m as skinny as they come; you could use me as an ironing board, and I’ll never understand what made her dad say those hateful things to her. They simply aren’t true. He’s such a douchebag and if I could get my hands around his neck I’d….

  I don’t get a chance to finish my thought before I hear, “So, really, this looks okay?”

  “Girl, Maverick is going to eat you up like a Popsicle. You are hot Char, don’t you dare even second guess me on this.”

  “You know T, I don’t want to embarrass myself, but if you’re sure...” I know how hard this is for her, and I’m certainly not a heartless bitch. Buying the bikini was a huge step for her. I know wearing the bathing suit wrap will make her feel better.

  Baby steps, right?

  “If it will make you feel better, I will concede and you can wear the wrap.” I see a huge look of relief on her face that she doesn’t even attempt to hide.

  “Are you sure? I mean a bet is a bet and I did make a deal,” she sputters out. The fact she was willing to go without it, is enough for me.

  “Nope, grab it. You’ll feel more confident with wearing the two-piece and I love the confident Charlie. You’ll get there girl. Mark my words.”

  She walks over to me and gives me a hug and says, “Thanks T,” and then heads out of my room.

  Before she’s completely out I ask, “Charlie, you know I’ve always got your back, right?”

  She turns, cocks her head to the side and smiles, “Duh.”

  I can’t help but laugh out loud at her, because she just pulled my signature mannerism. She knows exactly why I’m laughing. That is so completely what I do all of the time.

  I’m a head cocker. Well, that sure didn’t sound right in my head. Note to self, never say that out loud, ever.

  I shake my head and close my door, knowing I only have about an hour before we leave and I need to mentally prepare myself. I always have to do this when I know I’m going to be around Will. It’s so hard. I see how he looks at me and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, but I also see something else there. Buried beneath the surface, is hurt. I can see it even through his attempts to hide it. I’m attuned to him more then I’d like to be. I sigh knowing full well that I’m lying to myself, yet again. I would love nothing more than to be completely and utterly attached to everything Will. Sadly, some things are just not meant to be. I lie down and snuggle into the softness of my bed, holding my pillow a little too tight, praying I can lay down for just a few minutes with no thoughts of anything bad. Trying so desperately to clear my head, I finally fall asleep. Unfortunately, instead of dreaming of just Will, I end up with a nightmare.

  I see Will and he’s staring at me intently until he begins to turn and walk away. I can’t seem to move and realize someone is holding me back. My stomach falls to the ground, because I know who it is. I see him in my head every night when I close my eyes begging for sleep to take me, but just once without a nightmare to follow. I don’t dare turn around. Crying out, I reach out my hands to grab hold of Will, but his face looks so sad. He doesn’t reach for me either, which makes me scream even louder for him. “Will! Will!” I scream with all of my might but he doesn’t seem to hear me and completely turns around and begins walking away. Please God, let me wake up. I know what’s coming, I know what happens and I can’t relive it. I can’t. I’m sobbing and I can’t seem to stop screaming Will’s name.

  All of a sudden I’m being shaken, “Tori, wake up, wake up. It’s just a dream. You’re dreaming.”

  I slowly open my eyes to see Charlie hovering over me with a look of fear plastered on her face. Holy shit, it was just a dream. Just a dream, it’s not real. Just a dream. I say to myself like a mantra, over and over.

  “Tori, you’re scaring me, please say something.”

  I release the death grip I still have on my pillow which reveals cramped up fingers from holding it too tight. “It was just a dream Char.”

>   “I don’t think so, Tori. That was more like a friggin ass nightmare. Are you okay? Do you need to talk about it?”

  “Nope, I’m good,” and I try to smile to let her know I’m fine so hopefully she won’t press me to talk anymore. Disbelieving and irritated, she studies me intently, but says nothing else.

  “What time is it? Is it time to go meet them?”

  She releases an irritated sigh, but letting it go, turns to walk out. “Yep, get your skinny ass up and get ready, it’s time to go.”

  The second she closes the door, I crumple into a heap and try to compose myself.

  It seemed so fucking real. I need to get a grip. Why, all of a sudden, are my nightmares getting worse?

  Knowing I don’t have long before she comes back in to get me, I pull my bikini out of my drawer and begin to get ready. I throw on my cut-off jean shorts and slide my feet into my flip flops. Throwing the door open I holler at Charlie, “Did you grab towels and a cooler?”

  “I’ve got it packed up already. Let’s go, and I’m driving!”

  I will not argue there, I love her Jeep. With the top down and the radio blaring, it’s the perfect spring break and summer time vehicle.

  I walk outside and see her already in the Jeep with the top down, placing the ever coveted iPod into its place.

  “You’re not excited are ya?” I tease her, I can’t help it. I love seeing her so happy and I’m doubly happy that it’s with Maverick. He’s such a good guy and so good for her.

  Just when I think she’s going to ignore me, she gives it right back. “Now, if we can only see you just as happy and excited.”

  I try to brush her words off, “I am happy.” I turn and look out the right side of the car, where the window would be, if the top was on.

  “Tori, I want to see you excited for a guy. I want to see you just as freaking giddy as I get when I get to spend time with Mav.”

  It’s always cute when she uses his nickname, but I hate it when she says it to Maverick in front of me. It may as well be just the two of them. Maverick gets this heated look in his eye when it’s used and I feel like some kind of voyeur, or pervert. Like I’m intruding on a very private moment, which I’m sure I am.

  We pull up to ‘their’ spot, which will always be deemed “theirs” and get out. I notice Will’s truck and not Maverick’s, which I’m sure means they rode together.

  Grabbing all of our stuff we head off in search of the guys. As soon as we make it to the clearing, there they are and I’m rooted to the ground. Standing before me is the most exquisite male body I’ve ever seen. He’s slim but muscular and he’s all Will and perfect. Charlie grabs my hand, pulling me along and gives me a very noticeable look that clearly says, “Uhuh you like him, admit it.”

  In response, I shrug my shoulders and give her a small smile that says, “What? I’m human and I’d be stupid not to think that’s hot.”

  The moment we get close, Will looks up and stares at me. His look is penetrating, making my whole body feel like it’s on fire. It’s always like this when I’m around him.

  Note to self, there is no preparing for this. You can’t, it’s impossible.

  “Hey ladies,” Maverick says.

  “Hey Maverick,” I say without ever taking my eyes from Will.

  Shit, I was staring at him this whole time.

  I try to play it cool, maybe he won’t notice. “Hey Will. How ya been?”

  “Since I talked to you this morning, great. Even better now that you’re here,” he says with a twinkle in his eye, and wearing a come hither look that would have most girls panting and fanning themselves. Well, I’m definitely not most girls.

  Charlie whispers in my ear, “Play nice,” before heading over to Maverick. He’s staring at her and I see the instant he notices her two piece. Yep, score! He likes it, just like I knew he would. My eyes follow Charlie as she wraps her arms around his neck immediately and it’s as if there is no one else around. I begin to feel slightly uncomfortable, and my eyes betray me and stray back over to Will.

  He’s staring at me with this look of complete desire. I know he’s liked me for a while, but this look is new. It’s a look of determination, like he’s come to a new conclusion of some sort. This look of his scares the ever-living snot out of me and makes me want to go running for the hills in the opposite direction.

  I’ve always been attracted to Will, but he scares me. Not a bad scare, but a good scare; although I guess that depends on how you look at it. The kind of scary you could get lost in and give yourself completely in to, and I can’t handle that. My heart, my head and my broken body just can’t handle it.

  I force myself to tear my eyes away from his, head off closer to the lake and lay my towel down, knowing full well he’s watching me walk away. I peel my shorts off, laying them down on my towel and grab my suntan lotion. I swear it feels like my back is on fire from the heat of his stare. I attempt to ignore the scorch that’s enveloped me so completely and go about applying my lotion, when I feel warm breath cascade across my neck.

  It scares me so badly that I turn around screaming and punch the shit out of the person. Unfortunately, that person turns out to be none other than Will. I’m immediately horrified and feel so ashamed of my behavior. He just stands there and I see no condemnation on his face. “I’m so, so sorry Will. I didn’t know it was you,” I sputter. I grab at my towel and start to put my shorts back on.

  Then I see Maverick and Charlie running towards us shouting and asking what is wrong. They stop in front of us and spot Will’s face. “What happened and why does Will have a mark across his cheek?”

  I look down at the ground knowing full well there is no explanation that I can give them. Will immediately pipes up saving me, “It’s not her fault. I startled her and it was an instant reaction. Truth be told, she’s got a mean right hook.” My eyes shoot up from the ground and look at him, not sure of what I was expecting, but I know it isn’t this.

  Charlie suspiciously looks from me to Will and then back to me and I see her eyes soften. “Are you okay T?”

  I nod my head that I am and try to put on a brave face, hoping I haven’t ruined the day completely for everyone. “I am, again I’m really sorry Will.” I hope my eyes can relay how very sorry I feel.

  “Think nothing of it, really, it’s okay,” he says sincerely. Had it been anyone other than Will that I punched, I know for a fact that this would not have been the reaction that I’d received.

  I know this first hand.

  I know, deep down, that Will would never hurt me, not intentionally anyway.

  Chapter 4

  God almighty, the moment I saw Tori come around the corner I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Short cut-offs that showed her long, lean, tan legs with no shirt, only a bikini top; be still my beating heart. I’m sure I looked like a freak staring at her like I did, but I couldn’t help it. My eyes were glued to her. I watched her walk away and head for the water and sliding those short shorts off of her long legs. It did things to me, and I couldn’t keep my legs firmly planted on the ground any longer. They moved of their own accord.

  I ached to touch her and I was done with just looking. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, right? I would just be helping to rub the lotion in. I made my way over to her, and I think the freak in me might have inhaled her, when I reached her, causing my breath to fan out across her neck. She smelled so good, like strawberries.

  Unfortunately, her reaction wasn’t what I was expecting, because the next thing I heard was a scream, and I felt a hard smack right across my cheek. Well, I’ve never received a response like this from a girl I’d gotten close to. All joking aside, the moment I opened my eyes and looked at her, all I could see and sense was fear. Unwittingly, I completely terrified Tori. I don’t know how, but I sure as hell wanted to find out. A girl doesn’t react that way without a reason and several different scenarios were flying through my brain.

  Seeing Maverick and Charlie come running at Tori’s scream m
ade me feel like shit, and she immediately started to apologize. Honestly, for what? I was the idiot who sniffed her and scared the ever-living shit out of her. I could tell she felt horrible and embarrassed, and I was trying to put the whole situation to bed and let it go. I didn’t want her to feel weird around me. That’s the last thing I wanted.

  I tried to laugh it off and tell her what a mean right hook she had, which I hoped helped to lighten the atmosphere just a tad. Obviously concerned, Charlie just watched Tori. Witnessing their interaction, told me a couple of things. One, Charlie was just as concerned about Tori, and two, she had no clue what was going on with her either.

  Charlie being in the dark is extremely concerning. If Charlie doesn’t know why she’s acting this way, then Tori’s hiding something. This isn’t the Tori we all know and that worries me. My mouthy redhead seems to have disappeared and I aim to get her back.

  Chapter 5

  Thoroughly embarrassed, I am determined to let it go and have a good time, but it will take some major pretending on my part. “Hey Char, do you have your iPod on you?”

  “You silly girl, when do I not have it on me?” She tosses it to me, so I can put it on the player and crank it up. Charlie and I have a lot of differences, but the one constant similarity is that we both love our music. We love all kinds of music, but thank goodness that girl loves country music as much as I do, or we might have had a problem.

  I chuckle and shake my head, grateful the whole ‘incident’ is forgotten, at least for now. I begin grabbing food out of the cooler and glance at Will, hoping to make this less weird between us. “Will, want to help me get this food out? We can eat first, lay out and then get in the water? I may even let you help me put on my suntan lotion.” I toss a wink over my shoulder at him for good measure.