Heartstrings
Page 10
“Thank you,” I breathlessly say and take a moment to look at him. He’s dressed in jeans that hug every delicious curve and a button down white shirt, with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows that show off his strong, tanned arms. “You don’t look too shabby yourself.”
His eyes crinkle in the corners, “Thank you but you…there aren’t enough words…”
I think I’m blushing and I don’t blush, like ever. The feelings he elicits in me scare me a little, but I’ve got to say bye to mom before I go.
“Hang on, I’ll be right back” I say. I walk into the other room and see my mom sitting down with a book in her lap and she looks up when she hears me.
“Are you going to be okay with this?”
“Yeah, I am. He makes me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t worry or over think things when I’m with him.”
She smiles and says, “Good. Have fun and call me if you need me.”
I lean over and give her a quick hug, “Thanks mom.” I walk back out to see them waiting for me patiently. Will puts his hand out, as if asking permission and not just taking my hand. I smile as I place it in his and follow him out the door.
We reach Maverick’s car and Will opens the door for me. I smile before getting inside, finally beginning to feel somewhat like a normal girl just going on a normal date with the guy I like and my best friend.
Will gets in and we’re thigh to thigh in Maverick’s compact car, because of course he had to have another vintage Camaro. After he was in that horrible car accident several months back, he wanted to find one just like it, unfortunately he and his dad had restored it together. They aren’t easy to come by, however they were able to find one similar in a different color. Will places his hand palm up on his leg and I turn to glance at him. He has the most intense look on his face and without turning away, I place my hand right into his. The close proximity with his hand doesn’t make me cringe and has the complete opposite effect on me. It’s a simple touch of feeling safe and cherished. He leans down and drops his forehead onto mine. I close my eyes at the contact and breathe him in. He smells of mint and a light cologne and of Will; my Will.
The fact that I just called him ‘my’ Will, in my head doesn’t escape me. In this very moment and what I hope will become permanent is that he will become my Will; one day.
He straightens back up, looking directly at me and says, “God, I have waited for this for so long. You completely take my breath away.”
I have nothing to say, how do I top that that? I’m such a dumb ass, all I say is, “Me too.”
“Shit Tori, you are an idiot and you need to work on your vocabulary,” I berate myself, completely in my head, of course.
He smiles and thinks nothing of it.
We reach our destination and I look around. Yeah a seafood restaurant! “Yes, I love me some seafood,” I say.
Charlie, Maverick and Will all chuckle and Charlie says, “Yes we know Tori. There was never a question of where we’d be eating.”
Will pipes up and says, “Yeah, I’ve never seen a girl eat shrimp like you do.” He then leans into my ear and whispers, “I’m actually hoping to watch you eat crab legs.”
Lord. Have. Mercy! That voice in my ear causes shivers to spike and traipse down my spine.
Okay, so I’m easily sold with seafood. Not just that but he knew what I’d want to eat and he’s willing to watch me lick my fingers while eating crab legs, which is messy. All of a sudden it dawns on me.
Ooooohhhhh, I get it now and I think I’m blushing again. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t blush!
Before I can respond he gets out holding the door open for me, his hand reaching out for me to take, which is quickly becoming a very natural thing for me to do. I grab it without hesitation and let him guide me through the restaurant following on the heels of Maverick and Charlie. They sit us down in a booth and he never lets go of my hand. I could get used to this very easily. I lean over and whisper, “You know I’m going to have to have my hand back when I eat, right?”
Turning to me he says quietly, “You’d better eat fast because I’m going to be needing that hand back.” He has an intensity about him that tells me he isn’t kidding.
I’m so dumbstruck and in awe as I say, “Okay.” Then decide to push it just a tad and say back, “You know it takes time to peel crab legs, so it could be a while."
This time I receive a slight sexy as hell smirk and he replies with, “Don’t you worry if I have to help you, I will.”
This is an offer I can’t refuse because peeling crab legs is time consuming to get to the meat. He’s quickly becoming indispensable and not just in the crab department. Getting braver with my banter I say, “I may just have to keep you around then.” I see his eyes darken and smolder but then I add, “You know, for seafood purposes and all.” I can’t help but smile after this comment.
His reaction is priceless and this time I receive a huge grin that sets me on fire everywhere. Feelings that I’m not sure if I should be feeling right at the moment; intimate feelings. I turn away, feeling ashamed for having these thoughts and glance over at Maverick and Charlie, see that they are watching us, with a smile on their faces. I feel kind of embarrassed that they just witnessed this exchange.
Charlie looks at me and winks. She doesn’t even try to hide it from Will. That girl’s been around me for too long. She’s starting to act like me; for shame!
We finally order and chat back and forth, all four of us in a comfortable conversation. The whole time I feel Will’s thumb rubbing against my hand. It’s like it’s not something he thinks about, a subconscious thing he just does and it feels really nice to be touched so sweetly and with care.
Our food arrives and Will glances at me with a smile, letting go of my hand.
Every so often I sense him staring at me and I catch his eyes a time or two. I do manage to eat in a timely manner all on my own, much to my disappointment. What can I say? Deep down I was kind of hoping I might need his help. Too bad I’m a pro at cracking these shells, if only I’d been a little slower.
We finish and pay the bill, and head over to the movie theater. To my utter amazement they’ve chosen a romantic comedy. We grab our tickets and Charlie and I make our way into the theater to grab seats while the guys grab us some popcorn and drinks. I may be full from dinner, but I am never to full for extra butter popcorn. As soon as we sit down Charlie begins to question me. “So are you okay? You look okay. Actually you look really happy.”
“Slow down woman! Yes I am okay, better than okay. I’m actually very happy and I feel good, normal even. I don’t feel like a freak. I feel like a normal girl that’s out with her best friends and boyfriend.”
Charlie smiles really big.
“Boyfriend huh?” Will says from behind me.
Oh God, if I could die. This would be the time to do it.
“I like how that sounds,” He says sitting down and grabbing my hand. He leans over for my ears only and barely a breaths whisper away says, “You’ve always been my girl, you just needed to realize it yourself.”
If he affected me before this, then that was nothing compared to how I’m feeling right now in this moment, barely able to respond I murmur, “I was, was I?”
He’s so close. Close enough that if I leaned just a little closer I could kiss him. The music starts all of a sudden and the lights dim completely signaling that the movie is getting ready to start. We continue to stare at each other until there is no light left and I turn away first.
My heart beats a million miles a minute and questions bobble around in my head. If I’d kissed him would I have flipped out on him causing a commotion in the theater? I’m not sure if I’m ready for that or for this. But I can’t deny that the physical contact of hand holding has been completely fine. I haven’t shied away from his touch so far. I remind myself that there are no expectations and he himself even said that he was fine with slow or whatever pace I’m willing to go. He respects it; respects me.
I give her a slight nod and mouth a yes. How do I explain it? I am fine, but I just want to be a normal girl with a boyfriend. I want to be a girl that doesn’t have to over think her feelings for her guy. A girl that doesn’t have to be concerned with whether or not kissing her boyfriend would set her off and go crazy. I spend the rest of the movie over thinking everything.
Walking to the car Will gently tugs on my hand, “You’re quiet, anything that you want to talk about? I hope I haven’t done anything to make you feel uncomfortable.”
I quickly respond back with, “No Will, you’ve been perfect. It’s not you at all.”
“Are you sure? Because you know I’ll listen.”
“Hey Maverick,” he hollers. “We’re going to go for a quick walk. Meet you in a few minutes.” Will pulls me away and we go out on our own. We start to walk down the street, stopping at a bench in the square before asking, “What’s on your mind and what are you worrying yourself about?”
I’m completely surprised at how attuned he is to me and my moods. I take a deep breath and put it out there, “I wanted to kiss you in the theater.”
“I know, but not as much as I wanted to kiss you,” he says. “However, you aren’t ready for that and I need you to be ready before we kiss again. I want you to be one hundred percent sure when we do, without any question. Because when I kiss you, I want you to feel everything with me in the moment. No second guessing in your head.”
Don’t ask me why I ask this, but in a very Tori like fashion I ask, “Why do you like me so much and why have you waited so long for me?”
Without any hesitation he answers, “The first time I saw you, that hair of yours grabbed my attention. It was the prettiest shade of red that I’d ever seen. But I noticed this beautiful face and I may have noticed your long legs,” he says with a shameful laugh. “What really got me was how outspoken and outgoing you were. You treated people with respect and you didn’t act like your shit don’t stink.”
I’m completely surprised at his open admission when I blurt out, “I love you Will.”
I feel embarrassed and I turn my head away. I did not mean to just throw that out.
Taking his hand and gently turning my head to face him so we are eye level he tenderly says, “I love you Tori and I’ve hoped and waited for so long to hear you say those words to me.” He cups my face with his hands and strokes my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
There aren’t enough words to describe how I’m feeling right now. I’m elated and happy but more than anything, I am grateful. I am grateful that this perfect guy is mine.
He leans over and kisses my forehead and I close my eyes at the contact and my breath hitches when he suddenly leans back and says, “Come on let’s get you ladies home.”
I almost whimper at the loss of contact until he instantly grabs my hand back, making me feel a little better.
We reach the car and see Maverick and Charlie kissing. Will clears his throat and they jump apart quickly, startled. Charlie looks embarrassed, but Maverick just throws his arms around her shoulder and smiles unabashedly chuckling softly. “What can I say? I love kissing my girl.”
She lightly smacks his arm and he opens the door for her. We get in and drive home. Will’s arm wraps around my shoulders and I snuggle in next to him, his other hand holding mine.
The guys walk us to the door and Will leans over kissing my forehead once again and says, “Goodnight Tori, dream of me.”
As I walk into the house I think to myself. Maybe, just maybe, I might.
Chapter 25
Maverick and I drive in silence to his house so I can pick up my truck. As I get out he asks me, “What’s going on with you? Everything looks like it went well tonight, so what’s up? Talk.”
It did go well; better than well, it was perfect. She loves me and I love her and I love everything about her, but I’m still feeling guilty. I choose my words carefully when I say, “I’m feeling guilty because I haven’t told her that I saw her that night. I feel like I should, but I’m scared that I’ll lose her all over again.”
Maverick looks at me thoughtfully before replying, “I agree that there shouldn’t be any secrets between you. If you feel guilty over that, then you need to tell her. If you don’t, it’ll eat at you until it screws up your relationship and I know you don’t want that.”
I know he’s right but I’m scared about the repercussions that this conversation could lead to. “Yeah, I know,” I sigh.
I tell him goodbye and head for home and decide to focus on the positive. After everything she’s been through, she still told me she loves me. Those three words mean everything to me.
I think about the entire date. When she walked down those stairs, Lord have mercy she was gorgeous and getting to hold her hand practically all night was a bonus. I had to keep telling myself to go slow. At the theater I knew she wanted to kiss me, but holy hell it took a huge ass amount of resistance to not do the one thing I so desperately wanted to do. I know she needs time and I’m not going to rush her but it was so hard keeping my lips to myself. I knew she was affected by me as much as I was by her.
I make it home safely and walk up to my room and decide to call her. Laying on the bed, I yank out my phone and scroll down and push the button.
“Hey Will,” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Hey baby, I just wanted to make sure you had a nice time tonight.”
“I had a really good time Will, thank you for tonight,” she says in her sexy voice.
Just the sound of her voice does so many things to me. “Well, I’m glad you had fun.”
“Hey Will, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, you can ask me anything.”
She hesitates for just a moment before asking, “Next time, can we go out, just the two of us? I mean I love going out with Maverick and Charlie, but I’d really like to try a one on one date with just the two of us.”
“Are you sure?” I ask. I would love nothing more but I need to make sure she’s really fine with this first. It would kill me if it made her uncomfortable in any way.
“I am,” she replies. “I need to do this for me. I need to feel like a normal couple.”
I sigh happily and say, “I love that you call us a couple.”
She lightly laughs on the phone, “Do you now?”
“Oh yeah, more than you know. How does next Friday sound?”
“It sounds perfect.”
“Hey Tori, do you trust me? I know this is an odd question, but I need you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you?”
Just a moment goes by before she responds, “I do. I really, truly do.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief, hoping that this confirmation is enough and that when I do need to tell her that she’ll take it all right.
“Good and Tori, I love you, sleep well.”
“I love you too Will. Night.”
It makes me feel like I’m ten feet tall hearing her tell me those words. We hang up and I lay there for several minutes feeling hopeful. My fiery redhead is finally coming back and the best part is, she’s mine.
Chapter 26
The rest of the weekend flies by and it’s Monday morning before I know it. Today after school is another group session but I get to see Will today. We’ve talked several times throughout the weekend, but seeing him in person is different. I’m excited to see him this morning and curious how we’ll be together in school. I carefully choose my clothes and get dressed, feeling a little giddy about seeing him. I’m beginning to slowly but surely feel more like me. There aren’t any pretenses with Will. He knows everything and there aren’t any secrets between us.
I hurriedly get r
eady and meet Charlie in the kitchen. She glances up and then looks at the clock on the microwave. “You’re not ready to get to school are you?” She gives me a knowing smile.
“Maybe,” I can’t help the smile that takes over my whole entire face.
Charlie laughs, “You’re glowing T, I love seeing you so happy.”
“I am happy and I’m dealing with it in the best way that I can. I mean I can’t think of one thing without the other. They go together but they don’t, does that make sense?”
“I think so,” she replies.
I take a moment to try to explain this better. “It’s like this, every decision I make with Will is going to lead me back to that night. Being raped has affected me having a relationship with anyone, no matter who it is. For instance I wanted to kiss him the other night, but I didn’t feel like I was ready because I was afraid of freaking out on him. Hence, it goes back to that night. I can’t do anything about that, but with help and hearing other’s experiences, it’s getting a little easier.”
Looking a little sad she says, “I understand what you’re saying T. I’m just so sorry that you ever went through this and this happened to you.”
I glance away for a moment before replying, trying to contain my emotions and look back at her. “You know what, no one deserves this but if there’s one thing that I’ve learned through all of this is that I’m stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. If I can get through this then I can get through anything. I honestly believe that.” I walk over to her and throw my arm around her. “I couldn’t have done it without you and mom. You know I love you Char.”
She gives me a little squeeze. “Okay enough of this mushy stuff, we’d better get to school before we’re late. I know you want to see Will before school starts.”
Not wanting to hide my feelings for him any longer, “You know I do.” I wink as I walk out the door. “Meet you there.”
The closer I get to school, the more evident the butterflies in my stomach become. I park right next to Charlie and see her looking straight ahead. I follow her eyesight and I see the guys leaning together on Maverick’s car. Trying to maintain my excitement, I attempt to play it cool. I get out, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder and wait for Charlie. We walk over to them together, of course Maverick’s eyes are only for Charlie, but he quickly glances over acknowledging me. I say hi and then glance at Will, whose eyes are following my entire walk over to him. I’m getting braver so I give him my trademark smile and say, “Hey there handsome.” He smiles big and the moment I reach him, he grabs my hand and pulls me lightly towards him and whispers in my ear, causing shivers to race down my back.