Longing For Home

by Christine Lynxwiler

  “Seriously, even though I would have liked to know before you went and got her, I’m glad you were there for her. That’s what matters.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up. So now we’re even. Let’s forget it. Okay?”

  She nodded. “Since my most embarrassing moment is officially ended with no hidden cameras or ten-thousand-dollar prizes, I have to get back downstairs to work.”

  He was kind enough to laugh at her feeble attempt at humor. “See you in about ten minutes for lunch. Sub sandwiches, right?”

  “Yep.” She started to leave then paused. “Quick question. Since you’re here all the time, instead of just occasionally like most guests, are the menus too predictable for you?”

  He ran his hand through his hair and regarded her solemnly. “Brandi, you have my word that absolutely nothing around here is too predictable.”

  Before she could form an answer in her shell-shocked brain, he grinned. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  ❧

  “Jake? Got a minute?” Brandi asked from the doorway.

  “Sure.” He followed her into the den.

  In the four days since she’d burst into his room, she’d definitely been avoiding him. The fact that she was seeking him out now piqued his curiosity and gave him a surprising surge of pleasure.

  He occasionally took a two- or three-day break from training to speak to schools. His trip to Missouri had been scheduled for a long time, and if he hadn’t left so irritated in the middle of the night he’d have told Brandi. But he never dreamed she would think he’d moved out. He grinned as he remembered how aghast she’d looked when she saw him sitting at his desk. And how pretty once the color came back to her face.

  Brandi sat on the couch and motioned him to the chair catty-cornered from her. She opened her mouth then shrugged. A now-familiar pink stained her cheeks. “It’s hard not to feel awkward around you, after I made such—”

  He held up his hand. “Stop. It’s forgotten. We agreed, remember?”

  She smiled. “Okay. This is about Michael. Have you talked to him much lately?”

  “Other than to tell him and Melissa I’d pay them ten bucks to wash my truck today? No.” He frowned. “Should I have asked you first?”

  “No!” She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t be silly.” She looked toward the doorway and lowered her voice. “Michael wants me to sign a permission slip so he can play football.”

  “Well, is that a problem?”

  “Not really. I think Dad and Mom will be okay with it, but—I’m not sure Michael has the right motivation.”

  How much motivation does a kid need for playing seventh-grade football?

  When she frowned, he realized he’d said the words aloud. “I’m sorry. But I don’t see the problem with signing his consent form unless you’re worried about his getting hurt.”

  “Maybe you’re right. But would you talk to him about it? See if you can draw him out a little bit. I guess what I’m saying is I’m not sure he really wants to do this.” She twirled a strand of hair with one finger.

  Jake stared at her. Her beauty was breathtaking, but the caring concern in her blue eyes, even though he knew it was for Michael, made his chest ache with an emotion he couldn’t define. He cleared his throat. “I’m just heading out to check on the truck clean-up mission. I’ll see what I can find out.”

  Relief erased the lines in her forehead. “Great. I really appreciate it.”

  Jake found himself looking for a way to prolong the conversation. “Hey, I’m supposed to meet Elizabeth and her husband, Steve, Friday night at the pizza parlor. Why don’t you come with me? Elizabeth would be absolutely thrilled.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. . . .” Brandi glanced down at her hands. “I’m going back to California when Mom and Dad get home. And you’ll be hitting the road again as soon as your shoulder is better. We probably shouldn’t. . . .” Her voice faded away.

  “I like you, Brandi.” He realized as he said the words how true they were. He did like her, but he also knew there was no future in it. “I don’t need a relationship right now any more than you do. It wouldn’t be a date. Just a bunch of old friends—and one new one for you, counting Steve—getting together for pizza.”

  Her face brightened. “That sounds like it would really be fun. If you’re sure Elizabeth won’t mind.”

  “I’m positive.”

  “Great.” She stood and motioned toward the dining room. “I guess I need to go see how Valerie’s getting along with her chores.”

  He nodded and stood. “I’d better check on my truck.” He turned to go.

  “Jake.”

  He glanced back. “Yes?”

  “I’m glad you asked me to go.”

  His heart thudded against his ribs. Was that tenderness in her eyes for him this time? “I’m glad you said yes.”

  Ten

  Jake walked out to where the preteens were hard at work washing his truck.

  “Hey, guys. How’s it going?” He grabbed a brush and tackled the bug-crusted windshield.

  “A lot better,” Melissa assured him.

  “Better?”

  Michael snorted and waved his soapy sponge. “Yeah. Better since I let her have the water hose.”

  Jake grinned. He should have figured they’d both want to spray the water. He remembered arguing with his brothers over the same thing when he was young.

  “Melissa, why don’t you use it for ten more minutes then let Michael have it for a while?”

  Melissa nodded.

  “So, Michael, Brandi tells me you want to play football.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Jake restrained a grin. The Delaney kids were a neat mixture of old-fashioned manners and modern savvy.

  “He’s just doing it so the kids will think he’s cool,” Melissa said, clutching the water hose with both hands and neatly shooting Michael’s sponge off onto the ground.

  “I am not—hey! Be careful.” Michael scooped up the sponge and glared at his sister.

  “You like football, Michael?” Jake asked, keeping his eyes on the window he was scrubbing.

  The boy mumbled a reply.

  “What?”

  “I said not so much.” He shrugged. “Okay, she’s right.” He narrowed his eyes at Melissa. “But at least I don’t eat worms to be popular.”

  “Hey!” Melissa punctuated her exclamation with a blast of water in Michael’s direction, but the stream fell about a foot short. “I was in kindergarten. Give me a break.”

  Jake didn’t speak for a few minutes. Surely no one could live very long and think God didn’t have a sense of humor. How was Jake supposed to advise a boy about participating in a sport in order to feel good about himself? When he’d figured out he had a natural talent for baseball, he’d mostly worked hard to pursue it because he wanted to find his own place among his bigger-than-life brothers. By the time he outgrew that motivation he had other, more complicated, ones.

  “Going out for a sport is a big commitment.” Jake took Michael’s sponge and directed him to a new section of the truck. “You won’t be able to miss a game or practice, even when you’re working hard on a new invention. Are you sure you’re willing to be there for every practice, every game, day in and day out?”

  “I’m pretty sure.” The twelve-year-old scrubbed furiously, but his face clouded with indecision. “I don’t know.”

  “Mike, buddy. You’ve got an incredible amount of talent and intelligence.” Jake cleared his throat. Michael was looking up at him as if his words were a lifeline for a drowning man. Melissa had let the water hose aim at the ground and was listening intently, too. “Most important, you have a Father in heaven who made you just the way you are and loves you that way. And so do your family and friends.” He squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “So, whatever you decide about football, you don’t need sports to prove you’re somebody. God’s already done that for you.”

  The kids worked in silence for a while. Jake
didn’t know if it was because they were considering what he’d said or if he’d embarrassed them with his lecture. He felt like a hypocrite telling Michael not to play football unless he loved it. But then again comparing seventh grade and the majors was like comparing a 1972 compact sedan to a 1965 sports convertible.

  A stream of water droplets slid down the windshield, hit his brush, and veered off, zig-zagging toward the hood. Jake could sympathize. It seemed as if he’d suddenly been deflected willy-nilly onto an uncharted path. He had no idea where he was going.

  Three weeks ago he’d had plans. Goals. Direction.

  Now he knew only one thing for certain. If he didn’t manage to chase these doubts away, his career truly was as kaput as all the sports writers said it was. Coming back from a bad injury was tricky enough. Many tried and failed. It was all in having the tenacity to see it through.

  He knew some of his confusion was caused by the blond he’d fished out of the water. That was nothing new. She’d had the same effect on him when he first met her eight years ago. Even though she wasn’t quite as prickly now, she distracted him from his goal. And distractions were something he couldn’t afford.

  He tossed the brush in the bucket. “I’ve got to walk over to Coach Carter’s. Think you guys can handle this?”

  “Sure.” Melissa said.

  “We can if she’ll let me use the sprayer.” Michael held out his sponge to his sister.

  She made a face but handed over the water hose. As Jake walked away he heard her say, “See, Michael? I told you, you didn’t need to play football.”

  ❧

  “You’ve got a date with Jake?” Valerie squealed.

  “No, we’re just meeting some friends for pizza.”

  “Like I said—a date. Are you nervous?”

  “Well, I wasn’t.” Brandi grimaced. How could she explain to her sister that a nomad baseball player would be the last person she’d date? Valerie had been six when they moved in with Gram after Gramps died. She didn’t remember the years before spent on the road, moving from place to place. Brandi would never forget the feeling of not belonging anywhere.

  She pulled the front part of her hair back in a clip, leaving the back hanging down. One more glance in the mirror, and she spun around on the vanity stool to face her sister. “What do you think?”

  “Why are you worried about it, if it’s not a date?”

  Brandi blew out an exasperated sigh and stood. “Just forget it. Do you think you can handle things tonight?”

  “Hmm. I’ve been dealing with guests since I was ten. I’m pretty sure it won’t be too much of a challenge.”

  “Great.”

  Valerie grinned. “You’ll be home by midnight, right? We wouldn’t want to change those rules Mom and Dad made oh-so-long-ago.”

  Brandi didn’t want to encourage the sassy teen, but she couldn’t bite back a chuckle. “Yes, smarty. I’m sure I’ll be home long before midnight. No turning into a pumpkin for me.”

  “Actually that was the coach that turned into a pumpkin, not Cinderella.”

  Brandi suddenly remembered how literal Valerie had always been. So many things like that she’d forgotten since she’d moved back to California. Seeing someone twice a year didn’t allow a lot of time for close bonding. It was strange. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed her sisters and brother until she was with them again.

  She hugged Valerie. Her sister resisted for an instant but then returned her embrace.

  After a minute Valerie pulled back and peered up at her, brow furrowed. “What was that for?”

  “Because I love you.”

  “Hmph. I love you, too. But if you ask me, you’re just excited about your date.”

  Brandi groaned. “You’d better go get changed since you’re in charge tonight.”

  Valerie nodded and slipped out the door. Brandi grabbed a light jacket from her armoire. Her sister leaned back into the room, an impish grin lighting up her face. “By the way, you look fantastic.”

  “Thanks, Val.”

  “Anytime,” Valerie called over her shoulder as she bounded down the hallway.

  Brandi shook her head. How could there be such a shifting mix of sunshine, rain, and fire in one person? Sometimes she worried about getting older, but she was immensely thankful not to be a teenager again.

  ❧

  “I hope Elizabeth and her husband don’t mind my tagging along,” Brandi said, as she and Jake walked out to his truck.

  “They’ll be thrilled. Especially Elizabeth. I can’t wait to see her face when she realizes who you are.” Jake grinned. Elizabeth had always bemoaned the fact that she’d lost touch with Brandi.

  “If you say so. I still think we should have called.”

  “You worry too much.” Jake opened the moon roof then turned on a CD of classical music mixed with nature sounds. “Just relax.”

  She glanced at him, apprehension apparent in her eyes, even in the moonlight.

  He smiled. “Don’t worry. No ulterior motive here. Just one friend trying to help another to chill out.”

  “When you start playing Mozart and Beethoven accompanied by birds and thunder instead of Cotton-Eyed Joe, I’m thinking maybe it’s time to worry.”

  He threw back his head and laughed. “I have very eclectic tastes in music, I’ll have you know.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ve successfully hidden them until tonight.” She flashed a white smile.

  “Maybe we haven’t given each other a chance until tonight.” He wished the words back as soon as he’d said them.

  Her smile disappeared. “Look, Jake. I know we agreed this isn’t a date. But there are some things you need to know if we’re going to be friends.”

  “Like what?” He thought he could probably guess most of them, but he knew she needed to tell him.

  “You know I didn’t want to move here at the beginning of my senior year.”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s probably an understatement. I detested the idea and did everything but chain myself to the mailbox.”

  He smiled at the image. “Sounds as if you were a lot like Valerie.”

  Her eyes widened, but she nodded. “I guess I was.” She picked at imaginary lint on her pants. “Anyway, I begged my parents to let me stay with Gram, but they decided a ‘simpler life’ was better for all of us and insisted I come to Arkansas.” She glanced at him, and pain flashed in her eyes. “You know how well that worked out. All of you hated me. And I have to admit the feeling was mutual.”

  Jake started to protest, but she held up her hand. He guided the truck into the pizza parlor parking lot.

  “I promised myself that when I got back to California I would control my own life. And except for a few things not worth mentioning”—another flash of pain—“I have. If I have a flat, I fix it. If there’s a spider in my closet, I kill it. But invariably people, especially men, think I need ‘taking care of.’ ” Her face reddened as if she regretted saying so much. “They’re mistaken.”

  Jake stared at the most independent woman he’d ever met. “You seem perfectly capable of taking care of yourself to me.” He closed the moon roof and turned off the stereo. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel otherwise.”

  A strand of hair had come loose from her clip. He wanted to brush it back, but he was afraid if he did, the tenuous connection they’d forged would break.

  “Let’s go eat some pizza,” he said.

  “I can’t wait. It’s made fresh daily, you know.”

  He laughed. He could remember her making fun of that sign eight years ago.

  But she was all grown up now. As if to prove it she tucked her hair neatly back in place with no help from him.

  ❧

  When they walked into the pizza place, Brandi felt as if she were stepping back in time. Right inside the door a crowd of people stood waiting to be seated. Jake nudged her, but she’d already spotted Elizabeth’s long red curls. Jake made a “shh” motion with his finger
and stepped in front of Brandi. He tapped Elizabeth on the shoulder.

  She turned around, and her face lit up. “Jake! It’s great to see you.” Elizabeth had replaced her soda-bottle lens glasses with contacts. Her green eyes danced. The tall man beside her smiled warmly and walked forward to embrace Jake.

  Brandi noticed he had a slight limp. Elizabeth hadn’t changed a bit since high school. She’d always looked out for the underdog.

  “I have a surprise for you,” Jake said.

  Brandi almost laughed at the excitement in his voice. He was like a kid at Christmas.

  He stepped over. “Remember Brandi Delaney?”

  Elizabeth squealed and grabbed Brandi in a hug. “It’s so great to see you! I can’t believe it.” She stepped back and held Brandi at arm’s length then hugged her again.

  Brandi smiled at her old friend. Her exuberance was contagious. “It’s wonderful to see you, too.”

  Elizabeth introduced her husband to Brandi; then for the first time her smile faltered. “I have a surprise, too.”

  She reached for a young woman about their age who’d been standing next to Elizabeth, studying a menu on the wall. Grabbing her by the arm, she pulled her over. “This is Denise Simms, our new librarian. Since Denise hasn’t been in town long, I thought it would be good for her to get to know some people.” Elizabeth’s smile was back in full force. “So now she gets to meet two people instead of only one. This is wonderful.”

  Denise looked like someone had just driven a Rototiller through her begonias. She seemed to be speechless.

  Panic washed over Brandi like a wave. She’d stumbled right smack into the middle of a surprise blind date for Jake.

  Eleven

  Brandi’s face grew hot. She knew they should have called.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Denise,” Jake said, shaking her hand. His smile was so genuine there was no doubt he meant it.

  Brandi nodded. “Yes, it is.”

  “Y’all, too,” Denise half-whispered. Her brown hair was swept elegantly into a French twist, and her makeup was flawless. She’d obviously put a lot of effort into tonight.