In A Heartbeat (The Shameful Regret Series)

by King, Liz

  Michelle and Gabbi were busting with excitement all day because they decided that not only were we all going straight to Michelle’s apartment after work, but it was now imperative that we go shopping. My curvy figure wasn’t going to fit into any of Michelle’s clothing, and I was not allowed to wear my usual attire of jeans and a top. Have I mentioned that I also hate shopping?

  This also seemed to make Dr. Morrison think that it was okay to join in on the conversations. I swear, if that man said “Nae-Nae, you’re gonna look so hot tonight!” one more time, I was going to stab him! I was seriously going to pick up a set of calipers and stab him.

  I must have hollered “Shut the hell up, Travis!” at least fifteen times throughout the day. We have a very laid back relationship with some of our doctors. We work side by side all day, everyday so we’re like family. A dysfunctional family, but a family none the less. Thank God our patients are sedated, and they can’t hear our conversations.

  So, after an extremely long trip to the mall where every single clothing choice I picked off the rack was rejected, I am all set with my new denim skirt and one-shoulder top. I swear if I bend over even an inch, my ass is going to be hanging out. I really don’t want to wear a dress or a skirt of any kind. I haven’t worn anything other than pants in eight years. I do like my new top, though. It isn’t something I would have picked out myself, but I am comfortable in it, and it is my favorite color, a royal purple.

  Gabbi tried to talk me into going without a bra with it, but my “girls” can’t handle that, I need support for these melons. She relented, and we went and bought a strapless bra, and she insisted that I get a pair of matching panties. “In case you get lucky!” she chirped. That certainly isn’t going to happen. No man is going to get near my undergarments, ever.

  Michelle’s apartment is in the same complex as mine, just a couple of buildings over, but she refuses to let me go home to shower. She claims that once I get home, I will try to come up with some excuse to stay home and not come back out. She is probably right.

  Sitting in Michelle’s bathroom after getting showered, Gabbi still insisted on doing my hair and makeup. “Woman! If I had hair like yours I wouldn’t be wasting it by just tossing it up in a bun everyday. I’d let it all hang down!” she chimes as she curls my hair.

  My hair is a dark chestnut brown that hangs midway down my back. It is thick and heavy with just the slightest bit of natural wave to it. I often times think of just cutting it all off since, like Gabbi said, it spends most of the time in a bun, but I just can’t part with my hair. I remember as a little girl sitting on the floor in front of Momma while she would run her fingers through it and braid pretty ribbons through it to match my dresses. I usually just keep it cut in long layers, with my bangs cut to just sweep over my face, but still long enough that I can easily pull them back into a clip.

  With my hair curled to Gabbi’s approval, she decides that my eyes need a smokey appearance to go with the dark purple top we bought and highlight my hazel eyes. “Fine, just do what you want. I don’t care, just don’t make me look like a clown. You know I don’t really wear all this crap!” I huff as Gabbi digs through Michelle’s makeup drawer.

  “Wowza chica! You look hot!” Michelle exclaims when I walk out into the kitchen after getting dressed. She is mixing what looked like vodka and orange juice together for some “pre-game” cocktails to get us ready.

  I look down at myself and shrug my shoulders. I am comfortable for the most part, except the wearing a skirt thing, I feel a bit too exposed, but I admit, I have a nice body. I am curvier than what would be considered mainstream, but I can’t help that I was given boobs and ass. Scrubs usually cover that pretty well, but if this makes my girls happy, then I can suffer through it for one night, then maybe they will let me off the hook for another month or year.

  Michelle has on her favorite little black dress that she must have several of, because it always looks brand new. The beaded straps crisscross in the back and dip into a low V just above her rear, and the skirt is fitted down below her waist and flares just slightly above her knees. Michelle is petite and can pull off a dress like this. Add in her strappy sandals, and it makes her look like she has mile long legs. Her fair skin and honey blonde hair make her look sweet and innocent, until you look into her blue eyes that scream mischievousness.

  Gabbi, on the other had, she is trying to be a little sexpot. She has on the tightest black leather mini skirt I have ever seen, and she pairs that with a blue and silver halter-top. Gabbi may not have much in the chest department, but she certainly makes it look as if she does with the way she carries herself. While she was bending over and slipping her feet into her silver pumps and I swear you could see right down her shirt.

  “Alright bitches! I need to find a man tonight! Think this will do the trick?” Gabbi asks as she swings her hips walking over to grab one of the drinks Michelle mixed.

  Michelle giggles. “If we can keep them off Boobilicious over here, I’m sure you’ll land someone with as little as you’re wearing.” She points in my direction as I’m trying to catch my balance in these damn heels.

  I am a little worried about the shoes that Michelle was insisting I borrow from her. They are gorgeous, but me in heels was a recipe for disaster. I reluctantly agreed to wear them, considering all I had with me were my work shoes, and something told me that pink zebra clogs weren’t going to go well with my skirt and top, so I put on the purple peep toe pumps that just happened to match the color of my top perfectly.

  “You two are not to leave my side at all tonight! If I find myself alone, that’s it. I’ll be calling a cab right back to my apartment. Do you hear me?” I glare at them as we are waiting on the cab to pick us up from in front of Michelle’s building. This is going to be a long night. I just hope I’m up for it. Michelle and Gabbi giggle their way into the cab. Yep, a very long night.

  Chapter Three

  The cab drops us off right in front of Metro. I have never been here before. Actually, I have never been to a club before. I don’t really know what to expect, but I know immediately that it isn’t going to be pleasant for me judging by the crowd in line waiting to get in, girls in dresses so tight that it looks like they were painted on, and guys that look like they are all out for fast hook up. Gabbi waves to the guy standing by the doors and he signals us to come over. He unclasps the velvet rope, ushering us on through the door in front of the grumbling crowd. I scurry past him as I feel his eyes lingering a bit too long on my chest.

  “Thanks Mike!” Gabbi kisses his cheek on her way in swaying her hips to the beat of the music pumping.

  I look at her and raise my eyebrow. “And Mike is who exactly?”

  She just smiles and walks passed me. “He’s a friend. It pays to have friends that work places like this. Got us in cover free, didn’t I?”

  I just shake my head as Michelle loops her arm through mine and we make our way up to one of the bars. I don’t really want to drink, I don’t want to feel like I’m not in control, but one drink can’t hurt, especially since it is early. Maybe it will help calm my nerves about being in a crowd.

  I look around at the club. Metro is a very nice club. It’s all black and red leather, with strobe lights and thick curtains draped across the ceiling. I sense an upscale city theme. There are high top tables set up to either side of the stage and a large dance floor out in front. I notice two bars that line the entire length of both sides of the room set in front of large mirrors that reflect the lights, making the club feel much larger than it is.

  “Ladies, what can I get you tonight?” the guy behind the bar asks as we walk up, looking right at Michelle. She’s eating up the attention.

  Michelle giggles then leans over the bar showing off her cleavage “I’ll have a vodka and club soda with lime, Trey, and give Nae-Nae here a vodka and cranberry please.”

  I look from the guy I now know as Trey to Michelle. I wonder how her and Gabbi know these guys’ names. I guess they really do
go out every time they try to get me to go with them. I take the drink he hands me and smile. “Thank you.”

  Trey pulls his eyes away from Michelle and smiles at me. “Nae-Nae, is it? Haven’t seen you in here before. Where has Michelle been hiding you?”

  I roll my eyes and elbow Michelle. “The name is Lynae, I don’t know why Michelle thinks that Nae-Nae is my name, it’s not, and I’ve told her this a bazillion times! And, she hasn’t been hiding me, I just don’t go out much.” Sheesh! I need to stop rambling!

  Michelle and Trey talk a little more and I turn around to lean my back against the bar. Gabbi ran off to find a table close to the stage, but I can’t see her through the crowd.

  The DJ is playing some pretty good music to keep everyone entertained until Shameful Regret takes the stage. I can’t help but think that’s an interesting name for a band. There must be some reasoning behind it. The music that the DJ is playing has a nice beat to it, and I find myself closing my eyes letting the thumping take me away. I suddenly feel a buzz creep up my shoulders and open my eyes. Across the room I lock onto a pair of green eyes that feel like they could burn a hole right into me. This man is just standing there leaning against the amp set up on the stage. He has on dark rinse jeans that have a few holes in the legs, and a tight black t-shirt stretched across his broad chest. I can’t see much of his face because he has the hood of his jacket pulled up casting his features in a shadow, but his eyes are piercing.

  I shake my head and turn back to Michelle. I can still feel his eyes on me, making my heart race as I tug on her arm. “Hey, lets go find Gabbi and sit down. These shoes are killing me, and I need a chair. See ya later, Trey.” I start to pull her away when she notices Mr. Brooding Stare looking our way, and she stops walking.

  “Holy sex on a stick! He is fucking gorgeous!” Michelle says as she leans into my shoulder, then she adds, “He is totally eye fucking you Nae-Nae! You should go say hello!”

  As I try to ignore the eyes I feel on me, I continue to drag Michelle along to find Gabbi. “Leave it alone Michelle, I’m not going over there. Besides, he’s probably not even looking at me. Just, come on.” I finally spot Gabbi at a table right by the dance floor to the right of the stage. She’s claimed our spot for the night. I’ll probably just stay at the table and let them go dance and jump around.

  The stage was being set up when Michelle and I finally make our way through the crowd over to Gabbi. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement. “I am so excited to hear Shameful Regret play! They are so freaking hot! I love their sound. I swear, they are really going to make it one of these days!” she shouts over the music.

  Smiling, I nod my head and scoot onto one of the barstools sighing in relief of being off my feet. I try to shake the feeling of being watched and get ready to listen to this new band. I’ve only been sipping on my vodka and cranberry, so I still have well over half of my drink left. I think I’ll just sip on this a little longer, then order a coke or water. As much as the club scene isn’t my thing, drinking certainly isn’t either.

  The lights go down a little up front, and people start crowding towards the stage. I’m really glad that we have this table to sit at. I don’t think my feet could have taken having to stand for a few hours in these shoes. I pull out my phone to send a text to Sly.

  Me: Hey doll, really wishing I had already agreed to head your way this weekend instead. Michelle and Gabbi have taken over my life for the night! God help me! XO!

  I’m so engrossed in my phone that I don’t notice when Shameful Regret takes the stage. The voice that comes over the speakers is deep and resonating. The opening lines of Lips Of An Angel by Hinder wash over me, and my body hums with energy. That voice is so magnetic. It just pulls me in and makes me look up so I can see the source. My heart beats hard in my chest as I look into those same piercing green eyes that captivated me earlier. He is looking right at me as he is singing, his lips practically caressing the microphone.

  My phone vibrating in my hand draws me out of my fixation, it’s Sly responding to my earlier text.

  Sly: Poor thing! You need to get out more, babe. Have fun, it’s okay to let go every now and again.

  He knows that I don’t like to go out. I only went places with him while we were in high school, and that was only because he dragged me along.

  I blink and try to clear my head. I hope Michelle didn’t notice my dazed look a few moments ago. What just happened? I don’t get those feelings when a man looks at me. That just isn’t how I’m wired.

  Gabbi and Michelle wander off closer to the stage, and I’m left at the table by myself. I try to calm my racing heart by closing my eyes and listen to the music. I mustn’t look into those eyes again. I can’t let myself get drawn in again, even though I can still feel them on me.

  Shameful Regret really is a great band. The lead singer has an amazing voice, not to mention he’s drop dead gorgeous, and the rest of the group have a great sound. Mr. Brooding Stare works the crowd. He is strutting across the stage with a strong and sure stride, winking and obviously flirting with the girls clamoring at the front of the stage. He knows he’s sexy, and he uses that to get the women worked into a frenzy. The looks he throws out at the crowd have all the women screaming and vying for his attention. He’s lost the jacket, and is now in just the tight black t-shirt and ripped jeans, jeans that have some tears along his strong looking thighs. When he raises the bottom of his shirt to wipe away the sweat from his brow, I see the most perfect specimen of a six-pack ever created. Shameful Regret moves on to some faster songs that get everyone jumping and dancing.

  My heart is fluttering in my chest. My palms start to sweat a little. What is wrong with me? I tear my gaze away from Mr. Brooding Stare to take in the rest of the band. I’ve not had a visceral reaction to a man like this before. It must be the alcohol. That and I’m probably just tired from a long week. My mind is forgetting that I don’t really want to be here and that I don’t have any interest in guys.

  I manage to shrug off the advances of a few men that think I need company or another drink. I guess I haven’t perfected the “leave me the hell alone” vibe I thought I was sending out. Michelle and Gabbi finally come back to the table after the hour long set from the band. Fortunately they were always in my direct eyesight, so I didn’t feel the need to make good on my threat to leave if I felt they abandoned me.

  “Oh! My! God! I want to have his babies!” Gabbi exclaims as she bounces up onto the seat beside me. I’m sure I can imagine just whose babies she wants to have.

  Michelle shakes her head and laughs at Gabbi, then looks at me. “Isn’t that the guy staring at you from earlier?”

  “Guy? What guy? What did I miss?” Gabbi asks excitedly.

  Standing up and stretching my back, I look over at them and tell them, “Nothing. I’m headed to the ladies room. Watch my clutch.” And I shake my head “No” to Michelle when she arches her eyebrow in question of if I need her to go with me. The restroom is only just down the hall that is right behind where our table is. I don’t trust Gabbi to stay at the table alone, she’s a social butterfly. She sees a handsome face, she wanders off to make a new friend.

  I make my way through the crowd to the hallway. I keep my head down so I don’t make eye contact with anyone. I don’t want to get drawn into a conversation. I should have kept my head up, because the next thing I know I was running nose first into a very hard chest and stumbling backwards.

  Chapter Four

  Jolts of electricity surge through both of my shoulders as strong hands grab me and pull me back to an upright position. “Hey there sweetness, watch out. You don’t know who you can run into back here.” a deep voice said as I look up into the most intensely green eyes I have ever seen. This can’t be happening to me. I can’t be standing here with Mr. Brooding Stare’s hands on me.

  “I, uh, um, excuse me. I’m sorry.” I mumble as I try to walk past him. He hasn’t moved his hands, but he maneuvers us to the side of t
he hall and my back is very close to the wall. I’m starting to feel trapped, but at the same time, I feel safe with him.

  He moves his body closer to mine. He is so tall. I have to crane my neck to look up to his face despite my four-inch heels. He is even more handsome than I originally thought. A small dimple is set deep in his right cheek and pops as a little smirk forms on his lips. Oh, those lips. They look so full and soft. He has high cheekbones, and a strong jaw that is covered with a day’s worth of dark stubble. His face is so close to mine. He bends down until I can feel his lips near my earlobe. He licks his lips and says “Sweetness, you trying to get away from me? Come on, I don’t bite.” He pauses then adds, “Hard.”

  My mouth drops open at that comment and I am at a complete loss for words. Did he just say that? I back away from him until my back hits the wall. I place my hands flat against the wall as if I can crawl inside and disappear. I look down and away again. If I keep looking into those emerald pools I will crumble right here. What is wrong with me? I can feel my face flush. “No, I was just going back to my table.” I answer, and I try to shrug off his hands that are still on my shoulders, although they have crept closer down to my arms.

  I start walking in the direction I was going when he grabs my elbow again. “Sweetheart, the tables are that way.” He says pointing back over his shoulder, that smirk on his lips turning into a full-blown smile. Shit! I was still heading to the restrooms.

  Looking back up at him I smile shyly, “Yeah, I’m just going to the ladies room, then I’ll go back to my table.” Why on earth I felt the need to tell him that, I have no idea.