Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series

by Yesenia Vargas

  Her mom had made sopes, one of her favorite meals. Really just about anything her mom whipped up was considered a favorite meal.

  She realized how much she’d miss her cooking next year as she looked down at her plate.

  “How was school? What’d you guys learn today?” her mom asked as they all dug in. Her dad finally showed up and took a seat in front of a huge plate of sopes.

  “Eh,” Jimmy said in between bites. “Same old, same old.”

  “Ariana?” her mom asked as she looked at her.

  Ariana looked at her but froze as she wondered just how to word what she was about to say.

  Now her dad was looking at her too.

  “Um, I actually just found out like thirty minutes ago that I’m getting a scholarship. You won’t have to worry about having to pay for my school anymore.” She slowly smiled as she waited for them to say something.

  They looked at each other. “Is this the scholarship you were talking about a few days ago?” her mom asked.

  “No, actually. This one is ten thousand dollars a year for four years.”

  Her dad put down the sope he had in his hand, and her mom took a swig of her drink.

  “Are you freakin’ serious?” Jimmy asked, his mouth half full of food. “Forty thousand dollars?”

  “Jimmy, swallow,” she said, trying not to laugh.

  He resumed chewing and finally swallowed. He also drank some water.

  “And you’re sure this isn’t a scam?” her father asked.

  “Yep. My counselor helped me apply. They chose one person out of the state for it, and I won.”

  “Congratulations.” Her mom got up, walked around the table, and hugged her. “We’re so proud.”

  Her dad did the same and walked into the kitchen. He walked back out with some tequila and two small glasses.

  “This calls for some real celebration.” He poured some tequila into each glass and handed the other glass to her mom. For a second there, Ariana thought maybe one of those was for her.

  “When you’re twenty-one, you can have one too,” her dad said as he threw his shot back.

  Her mom was much slower but drank the whole thing. Ariana noticed her take a napkin and wipe at her eyes several times.

  “Don’t worry, Ariana,” Jimmy said as he walked over and put his arm around her. “We’ll have ours later when they’re asleep.” He ignored their mom’s face as he headed back to his seat, and they all resumed eating their dinner.

  “I have to admit I was worried before about our finances. We just recently started doing a little saving since the raise I got a few months back. Before that, it just hadn’t been really possible.” Her mom looked at her. “You know we would have done whatever necessary to get you to college, but this sure takes a load off.” She paused but looked like she wanted to keep talking.

  Instead, her dad continued. “You should be proud of yourself. This means you’ve earned your way there. Do you know how rare that is?” He looked at her mom. “We never would have been able to do that. This country has so many opportunities, so you can be whatever you can be.” He paused again, staring right at Ariana’s eyes. She made herself not look away. “We’re so blessed to have kids who know that and take advantage of that. You’re smart, Jimmy might be on his way to a scholarship for his basketball. You both work hard. ”

  Ariana looked at Jimmy, who smiled. She smiled back and took a deep breath, making sure to remember how this moment felt. She never wanted to forget it.

  ###

  “Must be a bummer, huh? The whole Lucas slash UGA thing?” Mayra asked.

  Ariana nodded.

  “But you’re still going to UGA, right?” They were in Mayra’s room. Ever since Mayra had started driving herself around, they hadn’t seen each other as much. So today, they had decided to hang out all day.

  Jimmy had finally gone to take the test for his driver’s permit with her dad this morning. It had been a couple of hours ago, and they still weren’t back.

  “Yep, I’m going.”

  “Well don’t sound so excited there.”

  “I am. It’s just really gonna suck.” She had her arms wrapped around one of Mayra’s pillows so it was covering her abdomen. There was a movie on TV, but they had both lost interest twenty minutes ago. Mayra was scrolling through something on her phone.

  “No, it’s not,” Mayra said as she looked up. “And you better not be all mopey over there either. Meet new people, doesn’t have to be guys, make new friends, join clubs, get involved, go out and have fun. I saw this thing on Twitter the other day. These next four years are gonna be the best of our lives. Don’t waste them.”

  Ariana blinked and thought about that. She had a point. She remembered how excited she had been to leave for college and become a new person with a newfound freedom. Where had that gone? The longer she thought about it, the more she felt those feelings come back.

  And like she kept saying, if she and Lucas were meant to be, their relationship would survive.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” she said slowly.

  “I know I am,” Mayra laughed. “Just kidding. Your life is gonna be so cool because you’ll be far away enough that nobody will know you so you can be whoever you want to be. But still close enough you can come and visit whenever. I, on the other hand, will be living at home because the college here doesn’t have dorms, and I can’t afford an apartment. Like half the people graduating are going there, so it’s probably gonna be like high school all over again.” Mayra rolled her eyes, put her phone down, and began flipping through the channels on her TV again.

  Mayra had a point. This was going to be a fresh start for her.

  Just as she envisioned joining clubs, going to meetings, and maybe even going to a party with new friends, someone barged through the door.

  She turned towards it.

  Jimmy. With a driver’s permit in his hands. He was out of breath.

  Mayra laughed. “Did you just run all the way here?”

  “Yeah,” he said breathing heavily. “Maybe I should have driven, huh?”

  He was wearing his basketball hoodie with his name and number on the back and the school mascot on the front.

  “Anyway, guess what I got?” He jumped and landed on the bed next to them. “I passed with flying colors, a.k.a. a seventy.”

  “Oh, God,” she and Mayra said at the same time. His arm was around Mayra, and he kissed her on the cheek.

  “Who wants to go get a milkshake or something?” he said.

  “No, thank you.” Ariana got off of the bed and went over to the desk chair.

  “Maybe later,” Mayra said. “Besides, don’t you have to have an adult with you?”

  “In theory,” Jimmy replied.

  Ariana stared at him.

  “So what are we watching?” Jimmy said, ignoring her look. He couldn’t keep still. He kept moving his arms and legs around and then moving around on the bed. “Did I mention I had a huge coffee this morning to wake up? I think it’s still having an effect on me.”

  ###

  “Man, I can’t believe basketball season is over. This sucks. And we didn’t even win the state championship,” Jimmy said as he dribbled the ball around their driveway. He faked left then right even though no one was in front of him or blocking his way. Then he shot.

  Swish. No surprise there.

  “Second place in the state isn’t bad, though.” Ryan ran to get the ball. “What are we going to do with all our free time now?” he asked as he took a shot. Another swish.

  Mayra and Ariana were sitting on some lawn chairs enjoying the sun. They had played a short game of two on two, but she and Mayra needed a break.

  “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mayra asked Ryan.

  “No,” Ryan said. He swung his head a little so his hair got out of his face. He was always doing that.

  “So you guys want to play another round? We can switch teams if you want,” Jimmy said.

  “Nah,” Mayra said. “Late
r.”

  “You said that like twenty minutes ago,” Jimmy said, walking over to her.

  “So?”

  Ariana sighed and wished Lucas was there. But he was at work. He almost never got Saturday off.

  Jimmy sat next to Mayra in another chair, but it was like there was nothing between those two. He kissed her on the cheek and had his hand on her back.

  Mayra closed her eyes and smiled. Ryan kept shooting.

  Even if she missed Lucas, she liked seeing Jimmy and Mayra together. It was like they couldn’t get enough of each other, like they were making up for lost time or something.

  “Your mom still doesn’t know you two are going out?” she asked Mayra.

  Mayra opened her eyes. “Nope.”

  Ariana smiled and shook her head. Her parents didn’t really know either. None of them had said anything, but Ariana knew they would figure out sooner or later. They always did.

  “Then have our parents be all uptight and paranoid and not let us go out together anymore?” Mayra asked.

  Jimmy didn’t say anything. He got up and began dribbling again.

  Ariana wondered how he felt going behind their parents’ back. Not that it was the same thing as her and Carlos last year. That had been different. This was Mayra, who her parents knew well and trusted. She was a good person. Carlos had been different.

  She got up and grabbed the ball when it bounced off the back board. She shot but missed.

  “I just think you guys should say something.” They stared at her. “I mean I’m not going to. That’s your business, your call.” She grabbed the ball again and kept dribbling. She shot again. This time it went in. “Sooner or later, though, they’re going to find out, and it might not be pretty. You know how Mom and Dad can get.” She looked at Jimmy, who was sitting now.

  “We’ll tell them,” he said. “At the right time.”

  ###

  “Hey, you,” Lucas said. It was after school. It was also Lucas’s day off, and they had all lied to their parents to be together.

  Ariana put her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. They were lying on his bed.

  “So you told your parents what?” he asked.

  “That I had to make up a test after school.” She didn’t want to leave the warmth of his body so her voice was kind of muffled.

  “Do you really have a test to make up?”

  “Not at all.”

  Lucas laughed. “Where’s Jimmy? Wait. Let me guess. With Mayra?”

  “Yep.”

  “At her house?”

  “Yep.” She tried not to think about what they were up to. Meanwhile, Lucas’s mom and sisters were out visiting a relative or something. They wouldn’t be back for a while.

  “Do you think your parents are gonna find out?” She looked up at him and scooted up to look at him better.

  “Nope. They’re at work.” She glanced at her phone. “My mom might be on her way home, but I’ll get there a little after her and just pick up Jimmy on the way.”

  “Does that mean you have to leave soon?” he asked. His voice was a hoarse whisper.

  She saw Lucas shift his gaze from her eyes to her mouth. Her upper body was kind of on top of him, and her thigh was against his. Then she saw him glance farther down than her face and raise his eyes back up to her eyes.

  She had an idea of what he had been looking at, and it made her mind go a little crazy. She realized she was staring down at him, and now her mouth was slightly open. She closed her eyes as Lucas’s face came up to meet her.

  First, his lips pushed against hers softly, but she could feel his hands trembling as they held her waist. Ariana pulled back a centimeter and opened her eyes to look at Lucas. He did the same.

  She had never seen him look like that. In the next second, she decided to close her eyes again and move her face until his mouth was on hers again. This time, she pulled on each of his lips. He responded, and then she could hear his heavy breathing. And she realized she was breathing heavily too. Her hands were around his neck and in his hair.

  When she thought she couldn’t feel any more good, she felt his tongue brush hers, and her mouth let out a groan before she could attempt to control herself. Then Lucas’s hand moved from her waist to her butt and stopped on her upper thigh.

  There it was again. His tongue on hers. She liked this. She moved her tongue into his mouth, and this time, it was Lucas who groaned.

  He pulled on her thigh until she was completely on top of him. One hand grazed her butt, and the other creeped under her shirt. Not too fast. This was new territory for them, and she knew he would stop the instant she wanted.

  She didn’t want to stop, though. This felt right. It felt good.

  If there was a guy she wanted to do this with, it was Lucas.

  She opened her eyes as his mouth moved to her neck. The sound of their breathing was turning her on even more. She looked down at Lucas’s slightly curly hair before closing her eyes again.

  Lucas’s hand had reached the clasp of her bra, but he only gripped it. Didn’t unclasp it.

  She moved until they were facing each other again. She wanted to feel his mouth again, as good as the kisses on her neck felt.

  Lucas looked at her and whispered, “Do you want to stop?”

  Ariana didn’t have to think to answer. “No.”

  Lucas kissed her again, like before, and it felt like she couldn’t get enough of him. She wanted her skin to touch his. Any and all part of her skin to touch him.

  With her shirt still on, Lucas unclasped her bra. She felt it detach from her body and felt the cool air on her chest.

  Lucas’s eyes met hers as his hand slowly came around to the front of her shirt. First, she felt his fingers brush against her abdomen. Then they were on her chest. Her chest wouldn’t stop rising and falling from how hard she was breathing. Lucas began kissing her again, his hand awkwardly in between them.

  He moved his hand to her upper back as he rolled with her until he was on top of her.

  “Lucas,” she whispered.

  He stopped and looked at her. “Are you okay?

  She made her breathing slow down. “I…am more than okay.”

  His mouth moved to her neck, and she finally wondered what time it was. That thought was lost as he moved back to her mouth.

  Lucas used his knee to move her legs so his were in between hers. Then his hips grinded against hers, and she gasped. Lucas groaned as their hips touched.

  Now she was trembling, and she wondered how it was possible for one person to do this to another, make someone feel this.

  chapter twenty-one

  Ariana wondered what time it was as Lucas kissed her.

  “Lucas?” she whispered. “I think I have to go.”

  He stopped kissing her neck and took his hands off her hips. He kissed her on the mouth one last time before they checked their phones.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “Crap.” It was almost 5:00pm. Her mom was probably already home. “I have to go.”

  She got up, adjusted her clothes, and put on her shoes.

  Lucas hugged her from behind before she could grab her book bag.

  She turned around and hugged him back. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Text me if you get in trouble or something. Sorry I kept yo—”

  She kissed him before he could finish. “I love you. I’ll call you later.”

  Lucas got up and put on his shoes. “Love you too. Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  A few minutes later, Ariana was on the road, but she could hardly keep her focus on it. She couldn’t stop thinking about Lucas, not to mention his touch, his mouth on hers. On her body.

  It had driven her crazy. In every way that was good. It was a good thing she was still on birth control because she really thought they were going to do it. In a way, she was glad they didn’t. She wanted to wait a little longer and enjoy their relationship as much as possible before they got to t
hat.

  Then her stomach sank.

  She still hadn’t told him that she was definitely going to UGA. Her acceptance letter was due this week. She had to tell him. She would tell him. Soon. Her decision was pretty much made.

  She bit her lip as she pulled into Mayra’s driveway and Jimmy ran out the door and hopped in.

  Jimmy didn’t say anything as they headed down the street to their house, but his look said it all. She was a little late. Their mom was already home.

  They headed inside. Ariana headed straight for their room as Jimmy announced they were home. She almost ran into her mom as she power walked down the hallway.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “How was the test?” her mom asked.

  “Oh. Good,” she said, walking past her and adjusting her book bag on her shoulder.

  “It must have been a long test. It’s five o’clock,” her mom called back as she went into the living room.

  “Yeah,” she yelled from her room. “I got stuck on some of the problems so I took my time.”

  She changed into some shorts and lay down.

  She had completely forgotten to tell Lucas about her scholarship. There was no question about it now. She wanted to go to UGA. She had found a way to go to UGA. She was going to UGA.

  Which meant she and Lucas would no longer be together. Yeah, they’d do the long distance thing, but she thought about how hard that would be. They had to try. Right?

  She got up and closed the door to her room. She had to get this out of the way and know how Lucas felt about all of this. It’d be the moment of truth.

  She pulled out her phone and called Lucas.

  It rang a few times before he finally picked up. “Yeah?” He sounded groggy.

  “Oh sorry. I woke you up, didn’t I?”

  “It’s okay. I fell asleep after you left.”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’m awake. There’s some stuff I have to do anyway.” He sounded like he was getting up.

  “Should I call you back?”

  “No. It can wait.”

  “Are you sure?” Was she sure she wanted to have this conversation?

  “Yes,” he said drawing it out. “You okay? You didn’t get in trouble, did you?