Crazy Sexy Love

by Alison G. Bailey

“It was my night and you are my pain in the ass,” she said.

  I couldn’t stop the smile from crossing my face. “Soph, I don’t know what you saw or what you think you saw. All I was telling her was to run a tab before you got there.”

  The wrinkle between her eyebrows smoothed. “You mean you didn’t want her booty and tooties?”

  “No.”

  Her expression melted into peacefulness. “Good.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “That makes me happy.”

  “Soph?”

  Suddenly, the room filled with a snore that could be heard around the world. I tucked the comforter in around her then eased off the bed. Before leaving the room, I stood in the doorway and looked back at her.

  “I like making you happy,” I whispered.

  In that moment one part of me thought, I better get credit for my restraint. While the other part was a little too happy Sophie thought of me as hers.

  I HAD BARELY opened my left eye when a harsh light accompanied by a sharp pain seared through my head. I lay in bed contemplating whether or not I was alive or dead. With the dryness of my mouth and stillness of my body, I was leaning heavily toward dead. My brain took baby steps as I pieced the events of the previous night together.

  My friends surprised me by celebrating my promotion. I drank. A lot. Fucking Bellinis. What was I thinking? They are so punchy you don’t realize alcohol is the main ingredient until you try to stand or walk. Usually I only drink them when I’m either really pissed off or having a pity party. I definitely wasn’t feeling sorry for myself. I had stepped up another rung on the corporate ladder in record time.

  I remember Bryson met me at the door of The Cocktail Club. Our table was right up front. I was surprised to see Colin with Hazel and made a mental note to ask Bryson about that situation. A purple haze kept clouding my brain. Had Hazel colored her hair purple? I know I was so touched that everyone was there for me. Wait a sec. Was Doug there? He had to have been there. Was he wearing purple?

  Doug.

  Purple.

  Purple.

  Doug.

  Recognition hit me like a bolt of lightning. I sat up, causing the room to spin and the sheet to fall from my chest. When I got my wits about me, I looked down in horror. All I had on was my bra and panties. My head was still swimming as anxiety took root in my chest and quickly spread through the rest of my body. I needed to calm down and clear my head.

  Last night I was pissed at Doug, which wasn’t unusual. It had something to do with purple. Purple, purple, purple ponytail. Why had I been mad at him about a purple ponytail? It wasn’t the purple ponytail. It was who had been attached to the purple ponytail. He had been flirting with purple ponytailed Priscilla. But how did I end up in bed wearing only my underwear?

  I didn’t hook up with a guy… did I? It did sound like something I’d do, except I wouldn’t have brought him home. I never bring them home. When I go to their place, I know when I’m leaving. If I brought a guy here, there’s no telling when he’d leave. I was exhausting myself trying to figure out the rest of the puzzle. I needed aspirin and coffee before further investigation.

  With great ease, I slipped from under the covers and headed to the bathroom. I popped back a couple of aspirin before wrapping myself in my oversized white terrycloth robe with big orange flowers and stepping into my fluffy slippers. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were a little bloodshot and puffy. But not as much damage on the outside as I felt on the inside. Carefully, I gathered my hair into a topknot and splashed a little water on my face. I walked into my room as I patted my face dry, tossing the towel over the back of the corner chair. As I passed the dresser, I picked up my sunglasses and slid them on before wobbling to the kitchen.

  I pushed the kitchen door open to find Doug facing away from me at the counter, in pajama pants, shirtless. I slid my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose to get a better look. After all, I was hungover, not dead. His back was a work of art. Toned with well-defined muscles pouring down from his shoulders, culminating into a V at the small of his back, with deep dimples on either side of his spine.

  I slid my sunglasses back up into position, shuffled over to the cabinet, grabbed a mug, and stuck a K-cup into the Keurig in silence.

  Without looking up from his task, Doug said, “Mornin’, sunshine.”

  “Why are you always so cheery in the morning?”

  “Lovin’ life.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Cutting up a honey dew. I love melons.” He chuckled, held up a piece, and said, “Want some?”

  I didn’t respond.

  I grabbed my mug of coffee, headed to the table, and sunk into the chair. “And put on a shirt. It’s unsanitary to be in the kitchen naked.”

  “It didn’t seem to bother you a second ago when you were ogling me.”

  “What are you talking about?” I took a sip of coffee.

  He turned to face me with a stupid grin on his face. “I caught your reflection in the window. And even though it’s against the rules, I’m going to give you a pass this time.”

  “How generous of you.”

  He turned back to his melon. “Hey, Soph?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “As long as it doesn’t require thinking.”

  “Which do you like more, my booty or—” he spun around to face me “my tooties?”

  I looked at Doug, bewildered. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “It’s a simple question.”

  “It’s a stupid question,” I said.

  “Huh, you didn’t seem to think so last night.”

  “Doug, I’m not in the mood for your foolishness today.”

  Turning his attention back to his fruit, he muttered, “You were certainly in the mood last night.”

  “If you’ve got something to say then grow a pair and say it.”

  Not turning to face me, he started counting backwards. “Five…”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Four…”

  “Obviously, you’re bursting at the seams to tell me something about last night.” I racked my brain in an attempt to figure out what he wanted to brag about.

  “Three…”

  “If you hooked up with that purple ponytail, newsflash, I’m not interested in hearing the sordid details. You better have kept her far away from my house.”

  I hadn’t gotten the words out of my mouth when a surge of jealousy coursed through my veins.

  “Two…” He kept going.

  So it wasn’t about that chick. As I ticked through last night, things got a little clearer. Doug flirted. I ignored him. Bellini. Bellini. Bellini. Bryson and Hart wanted to drive me home. All the couples were leaving, no doubt to go home and have sex. I wanted to have sex.

  “One…”

  “Noooo!” I said.

  “Yeeees,” he countered, turning to face me.

  I cringed. “You undressed me?”

  “No, you did that, then pranced around in your pretty little lacy things.”

  “And asked you…?”

  “If I liked your booty or tooties more.” His grin was big and cocky.

  “Did we do anything?” I hesitated.

  “Like what?”

  “Don’t play with me, Doug.”

  He slowly walked toward me. “You mean did our bodies collide igniting a roaring inferno of passion?” We were nose-to-nose by the time he uttered the last word.

  I swallowed hard. “Uh-huh.”

  “I’m not going to lie to you, Soph. There was grabbing.”

  “Grabbing?”

  “And tussling,” he said.

  “And tussling?”

  “Lots of tussling. The atmosphere was palpable with desire.”

  “Oh God, not palpable.”

  He lifted my sunglasses exposing my bloodshot eyes. “Yes, palpable. But even with all the heat, need, and wanton abandon…

  “Doug,” I said through clenched teeth. />
  “No. No canoodling occurred here last night.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

  Doug stood abruptly. “You don’t have to act so relieved. I can think of a lot of worse things than having sex with me.”

  I felt happy and bad at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

  “Too late. My feelings are already bent.” He pouted and crossed his arms.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just… us like that… especially while you’re living here… not a good idea.”

  “So if I weren’t living here we could…? Because I’ll move out right now.”

  The corners of my mouth curled up slightly. “Doug…”

  “You gotta give me something, Soph.”

  “You already saw me in my underwear. What else, besides sex, could you want?”

  “A photo of you in the little black lacy things would be awesome. Just let me get my phone.”

  “I’m going to leave now,” I said turning.

  “Come on! How about from the neck down? No face.”

  I walked out of the kitchen and toward the stairs. “Now you’ve made things awkward.”

  “What’s that?! You want me to follow you to your room?!” he teased, following behind me.

  As I made my way up the first couple of steps, I loosened the sash of my robe, letting it slip off my shoulders. By the time I got midway, I let the entire robe fall to the floor before flying up the rest of the stairs.

  Before making it to my bedroom, I heard Doug groan and holler, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Cipriano!”

  MY GAZE STAYED glued to Sophie bounding up the stairs as she gave me a little show. God, she made me smile. I was thankful she was in a better mood now than when she first came into the kitchen. Gauging her mood was always tricky even when she wasn’t hungover. Two of my favorite things was to make her laugh and smile. I managed to do both, so the scene was set for me to ask her for the favor I needed.

  Early this morning I awoke to a ringing phone. When I saw who it was, I came close to ignoring it, but knew it would keep sounding off until I answered. As usual, there was very little warning and the ever-present expectation to drop everything and be present. No was not an option. I figured if I had a wingman the evening would go by faster and not be as horrible. I knew there was a ninety-nine percent chance Sophie would say no, but it was worth a shot.

  I kept busy with cleaning up the kitchen and doing laundry while waiting for her to come back downstairs. Even though I knew her order to put on a T-shirt was a lie, I did it anyway. No need to rock the boat. Deep down I had a feeling that just asking for the favor would make waves.

  A half hour later Sophie sauntered down the steps, dressed in a pair of pink, white, and blue flowered lounge pants and a plain white T-shirt that allowed a little bit of skin to peek out from underneath. Her hair was down and slicked back, still damp from her shower. No heels or makeup. She was still the sexiest woman on earth. Why did I find her so appealing in her natural state? I’d seen many women the morning after, and to my recollection, it wasn’t always pretty. But Soph was even more gorgeous schlepping around in plain clothes with a clean face.

  I’d taken my first load of clothes out of the dryer and was folding them on the sofa when she came into the room.

  “How’s the head feeling?” I said.

  “Much better.”

  “No yoga, Soph?”

  She walked over to the small entryway table where we kept the mail and thumbed through it. “Not today. Bryson has a catering job. Plus, I need a day at home to relax and putter around. Besides, it’s gray and rainy. I was going to visit Nonnina, but this afternoon is matinee madness. She informed me that Herbert McGregor was escorting her to the movie and she wasn’t sure what their plans were for afterward.”

  “She’s cheating on me,” I said.

  “My grandmother has more of a social life than I do.”

  I folded a pair of boxers. “So no plans… even tonight?”

  She tossed the stack of mail back on the table. “Why are you so interested in my schedule?”

  Holding up a towel, I snapped it in the air before folding it. “No reason. Just thought you might like to go out… for dinner… my treat.”

  She sat in the chair across from me, pulling her knees into her chest. “Where?”

  I overly focused on the pair of jeans in front of me. “I was thinking Magnolias.”

  “Magnolias? That’s pricey.”

  I finished with my jeans and glanced up at her. “Nothing but the best for you, sunshine.”

  “Spill.”

  “Spill?”

  “You heard me. What do you have up your sleeve?” she said narrowing her eyes.

  I chuckled in an offending manner. “I’m shocked and appalled.”

  “Appalled?” There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

  “Yes, appalled. Can’t one friend show another friend… We are friends, right?”

  “For lack of a better term.”

  “Can’t one friend show another friend how much they appreciate them?” I huffed and rolled my eyes.

  She studied me closely for a few seconds. “Yes. I apologize for assuming you had ulterior motives.”

  “Thank you. Apology accepted.” I stood and picked up the pile of folded clothes. “There is one teeny tiny thing.”

  “Ah- ha! I knew it!”

  “My mom called me this morning.”

  “Heartwarming.” She smirked.

  “It seems her and my dad are in town and want to have dinner.”

  “Again, heartwarming.”

  “I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.”

  “What’s the catch?” she said.

  “I wouldn’t describe it as a “catch”. My parents and I don’t always see eye-to-eye. I figured if there were a little buffer, i.e., you, everyone would be on their best behavior.”

  “Okay.”

  “Oh, come on, Soph. I know what you’re thinking. You’re already doing me a favor by letting me stay here. Blah, blah, blah. But you’d get a nice meal…”

  She stood in front of me. “Doug, I said okay.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. What time should I be ready?”

  “Reservations are for eight,” I said, a little dazed. “Wow, that was easy. Thanks, Soph.”

  “No problem.” She started toward the kitchen.

  I squinted my eyes. “Wait a sec.” She stopped and looked at me. “This was a little too easy. What do you have up your sleeve?”

  “Nothing. You took care of me last night when you could have very easily taken advantage of me. I owe you one. Besides, Magnolias is my favorite restaurant. Be prepared to shell out some doe-re-mi.” She gave me a wink then turned to go into the kitchen.

  “Hey, Soph.”

  She looked back at me. “Yeah?”

  “You know I’d never do that… take advantage. Right?”

  “I know.”

  We locked eyes, both of us trying to convince the other of our sincerity.

  The rest of the day was spent doing chores, a little bit of reading, and we both took a nap while watching 10 Things I Hate About You. It was a fun and relaxing day that was about to be ruined.

  I WASN’T NECESSARILY nervous about having dinner with my parents. It was more like a dark foreboding dread that seeped into my very soul, choking the life out of me. My father and I had always been polar opposites. He was a successful lawyer who planned on having both of his sons follow in his footsteps and join his firm. My older brother, Charles, didn’t disappoint dear old Dad. In fact, Charlie boy was the spitting image of my father. Uptight, judgmental, and hungry for money.

  The look of disappointment on my father’s face when I told him I was going to become a biotech engineer will forever be etched on my brain. He got downright angry when I told him I wanted to help the hunger epidemic and would be going to work for a non-profit organization. Dad looked at my career choice as a waste
of my time and intelligence.

  “Famine has been present since the beginning of time and it will continue to exist no matter what effort is put into solving it.” He repeated to me countless times over the years.

  Money and power were all that mattered in his eyes. I often wondered if there had ever been a time when he thought differently. If the pursuit of justice and fairness was ever a factor in his choice of career. Or was it always for personal gain.

  Knowing my family was more than punctual and didn’t like waiting, Sophie and I arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. The day had gone from pouring rain to a steady drizzle. We looked like two spies walking into the place wearing black trench raincoats.

  I shrugged my coat off and handed it to the coat check clerk. I noticed Sophie taking her coat off and quickly went to her.

  “Let me help you with that,” I said, slipping the coat off her shoulders.

  “Thank you.”

  The breath caught in my throat when I saw her strapless dress. The soft purple material melted over every curve of her body. Her dark hair was tied back in a low ponytail that draped over her creamy exposed shoulder. Elegant diamond earrings dangled from her small ears. The pair of stilettos she wore looked to be a perfect match of the dress color. And around her sexy leg hung the delicate diamond ankle bracelet. By the time she had come downstairs earlier, she already had on her coat, so I hadn’t seen everything. I was so focused on how beautiful she looked that I didn’t notice she’d taken her coat from me and had handed it to the clerk.

  “Doug, are you okay?” The sound of her voice took me by surprise.

  “Uh… yeah. You look… Wow.”

  She smiled and stepped closer in front of me. “Thank you. You’re looking pretty dapper yourself. Get a load of that, your tie matches my dress.” Reaching up, she adjusted my tie. Her hand skimmed my chest sending a chill from head to toe. “It’s as if we planned it.”

  “Thank you again for coming. I’m glad you’re here.

  She brushed my shoulders. “Glad I could help and me too.”

  We exchanged appreciative smiles before I crooked my arm and Sophie slid her hand around it. Arm in arm we stepped toward the hostess desk.

  “Hey, you should have a reservation for Truman. The rest of our party should be along soon,” I said.