The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  As a rule, River wasn't like any other woman out there, and Zelda often thought that she kept the Doctor on his toes for the simple purpose of keeping him busy. He never handled boredom well at all.

  It came to the part where the Doctor admitted he could see River Song, and Zelda pressed her fist to her mouth even as tears streamed down her face. Oh, to love like that. To love in a way where it didn't matter if the other person was gone, you still felt them in everything you did, heard their voice in every conversation. Yet the acknowledgment of such a thing would be the kind of pain too hard to bear. The kind of pain that would crack a person and drive them to extremes. A love that spanned lifetimes, hearts, and adventures. It was too much to think about and she sniffed back the tears loudly.

  “Are you crying?” Sway asked in confusion.

  She wiped her face rapidly. “Shh, it's just nerd tears.”

  Harrison's hand took hers and their fingers laced together. She glanced at him briefly and saw the telltale tracks down his cheeks disappearing into the thick stubble.

  Harrison cried nerd tears, too.

  Zelda breathed the deeply contented breath of a person finding shoreline after treading water for too long. Then she watched the Doctor jump into his own timeline and save his companion.

  ***

  Carl checked the radar on his phone again even as the radio blared its warning.

  They had gotten on the road at a decent time last night, thank God for that. It put them at the next venue well before schedule and right at the perfect time. A late afternoon thunderstorm was going to come barreling down on them in a matter of minutes. He sent out a text to Kendra and started towards the Red bus.

  Sway opened the door with a wide smile and a flourish. “And to what do we owe the unexpected pleasure of your magnanimous presence in our humble abode?

  Carl ignored him and barked into the bus, “Get your asses into the venue, there's a tornado coming. You have three minutes and I'm not coming back for your bodies.”

  Then he moved on to the next bus.

  ***

  “Tornado, huh?” Sway said as the door slammed shut. “Well, that's a first.” They had been touring so long, weather was just a part of the experience. For whatever reason, they had never had to deal with anything too severe. It was bound to happen eventually.

  He turned to face the other occupants of the bus and was met with Harrison’s pale face. Well, as pale as a bearded man can appear, anyway.

  “Have I told you lately that your beard is very manly and I really like it?” Sway asked. Harrison stared at him. “What's wrong with you?” Sway asked.

  Harrison shook himself as if to wake up. “Nothing.”

  Sway cocked a grin. “Are you scared?”

  “What? No,” Harrison denied with a deep frown.

  “You're scared,” Sway jeered with delight.

  “Shut up,” Harrison growled. Sway was getting ready to give him even more of a hard time when Zelda set Hüsker Dü's pet carrier down on the kitchenette table.

  “Why the hell aren't you ready to go?” she asked with deadly impatience.

  Sway's eyebrows lifted into his hairline. The last he had seen Zelda was right before Carl had knocked on the door. She had been in her mismatched pajamas, barefoot, sleepy-faced and fiddling with the can opener. Now, she was dressed in jeans, a red long-sleeved tee, her hair still wild, boots, laptop and camera bag thrown over her shoulder, the crook of her arm bursting with blankets.

  “Why are you ready for the zombie apocalypse?” Sway countered with a lip twitch.

  Zelda didn't even have the patience to roll her eyes. Instead she whirled and went back up the steps and returned in a few seconds, hurling their shoes at them.

  “Put those on. We're leaving right now.” She crossed the interior of the bus and opened the side door, looking outside.

  “I've got my flippy-floppies on, I'm good,” Sway said, refilling his coffee cup. He took a sip and watched Harrison with curiosity as the guitarist bent over to lace up his shoes. Suddenly his cup was removed from his hand and set down harshly on the counter. He turned to find furious green eyes narrowed at him.

  “Shoes. Now.”

  Sway rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and chuckled lightly. “Wow, overreact much?” he asked as he slipped off his flip-flops and stuck his feet in his sneakers.

  Zelda made a noise in the back of her throat that sounded like a barely restrained Gaelic curse.

  Harrison picked up Hüsker Dü's crate and went to the door. Suspiciously silent. He was scared. No matter what he said, Sway could tell.

  “Get out,” Zelda commanded, shooing Sway towards Harrison. “Do not pass Go.”

  They exited the bus and Sway felt something ominous in the air. It was heavy and thick with moisture. And the sky was green. That was weird.

  Hurrying along with the rest of the crew, they went inside the venue and down the long, narrow cement hall and into a matching room that was used for tornadoes. It could probably double as a bomb shelter in a pinch, too, Sway thought wryly. Harrison and Sway sat down side by side, Hüsker Dü was pushed to the wall next to Harrison. The rest of the band and crew sat in small groups, murmured conversation filling the tense atmosphere in the storm shelter.

  Zelda set down her bag, pulled out a couple of blankets, draped one over the cat carrier, unfolded another across Sway and Harrison's knees, and surveyed the set up. She nodded once.

  “Stay here.” She arched an eyebrow. “I'll be back in one minute.”

  Kendra and Zed popped open a laptop across the room and continued working despite their new location. Sway watched them for a minute, then let his eyes wander to his band mates, who were currently engrossed in checking the Weather Bug apps on their phones. Blake and Lucy were the least concerned. Having grown up on the prairie in Oklahoma, he supposed this was nothing new for them.

  He had never been in a tornado before. He'd gone to see Twister eighteen times in the theater, but that was Hollywoodified. He rested his head against the cement wall behind him and wished he'd grabbed his e-reader before letting Zelda panic them out the door.

  “She's been gone longer than a minute,” Harrison said, the stress lining his words.

  Sway righted his head and looked at his friend. “You're really freaked out, aren't you?” At first he thought Harrison's worry was funny, now not so much.

  Harrison took a deep breath and looked down the hall, neck straining to see further.

  “She'll be right back, dude,” Sway tried to reassure him. “I mean, her cat's still here, she won't just bail on the big guy.”

  “Yeah.”

  Sway frowned, then reached into his back pocket to pull out his phone. “Let's just check the radar. I'll show you exactly how everyone is overreacting.”

  But the radar did the opposite of reassure. Everything was red. The storm cell was enormous and the bright crimson glared at him from the small screen.

  “Shit,” Sway said under his breath.

  Harrison wouldn't look at the phone. Instead he chose to knit his fingers together and stare at them in his lap. “Does it show the swirling vortex of doom that's coming to destroy us all?”

  Sway rubbed the two-day growth of whiskers on his chin. “Um, no.” Not exactly, anyway.

  “Scoot over,” Zelda was suddenly wiggling her tiny butt down onto the floor between them.

  “And where have you been, young lady?” Sway asked accusingly.

  “Talking to Carl and watching the wall cloud come in.

  “Is there really a tornado coming?” Harrison asked.

  Zelda cleared her throat and pulled the blanket over their three sets of legs as the chill in the basement increased.

  “Yes.” She busied herself fiddling with the blanket and then rested her back against the wall. “It'll be here soon, a couple of minutes. But we should be fine, this is a good place to be.”

  The room's muted conversation grew quieter as the ground beneath them rumbled with thund
er. The rain on the outside of the building pounded relentlessly. The lights flickered.

  “It's gonna be fine,” Zelda said again. Sway saw that Harrison was holding her hand. Not to be left out, Sway grabbed her other one.

  “Is this one of those things you know about because you grew up in Iowa?” Sway asked, trying to fill the terrifying quiet with something else. Anything else.

  Zelda chuckled softly. “Yep. I've been through a couple.”

  “Are they as scary as they seem to be?”

  “Uh-huh,” she squeezed his hand. “They're unpredictable and very powerful. You always prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.”

  “Why did you get mad at me about my shoes?”

  “Because if it's the worst thing ever, you don't want to be crawling out of rubble in flip-flops.”

  Suddenly her attire made sense. She really was prepared for the zombie apocalypse.

  The lights flickered again, then went out. Sway was expecting the girls in the room to scream, but it was eerily silent. He held his breath. It felt like way too long before the emergency lights turned on.

  “What kinds of things do you know, Zelda Fitzpatrick?” Sway asked with a whisper. He could swear that he felt the building shake with the force of the wind.

  “I know that time shows its true nature during a tornado,” she whispered back. “It reveals its magic and makes us think we're stuck in a bubble of endless unknowing.”

  Sway pulled her hand into his lap even as he leaned closer to her.

  Zelda continued, “I also know that everything is going to be just fine. It's the waiting that's the hardest part.”

  “How do you know?” he asked.

  “'Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.' ”

  Sway knew it was something geeky. Something he wasn't going to recognize. But that didn't make it any less beautiful. Harrison obviously recognized it because he pulled her in his direction roughly and kissed the top of her head. She rested there on his shoulder. The building around them stood stalwart against the wind beating against it from the outside.

  ***

  Zelda had been right. It wasn't that bad. It was still one of the most terrifying moments in Harrison's life, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

  They left the safety of the basement shelter when Carl gave the all-clear. The tornado had been small and weak, as far as tornadoes go. The town lost a few trees, but overall, the damage was minimal. Which was amazing to Harrison, because with the way the wind had been howling in fury, he half-expected the buses to be gone when they had emerged.

  It was the second the lights went out and Zelda had squeezed his hand in comfort when he decided that he didn't want to ride out any more storms without her ever again.

  Who else would quote Tolkien during a crisis?

  His phone buzzed in his pocket and he ignored it. It was probably Greta again. She'd been texting him non-stop since she found out about the storm. For a little sister, she sure could be bossy. He'd already conveyed his physical intactness, now she was worried about his mental health.

  He looked across the large parking lot where Zelda was talking with the venue personnel, Kendra, and Carl.

  His mental health was just fine as well.

  ***

  That night's show was the best one of the tour so far. Zelda credited the small skirmish with the weather for energizing both the band and the audience. A lingering electricity hung in the atmosphere, creating a charge so bright she wanted to wear shades.

  Afterward, they climbed onto the buses and departed into the night. Zelda gave Sway a small lecture on weather preparedness. He took notes. Then instead of editing photos, she deviated from her normal schedule. Putting Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring into the Blu Ray, she had every intention of falling asleep in front of it, snuggled up with her cat.

  While she wasn't afraid of tornadoes—they were just a simple reality of growing up in the Midwest—the adrenaline spike had exhausted her.

  Hüsker Dü, being the perfect cat that he was, curled up on her chest and purred until she fell asleep. She awoke sometime later when Harrison brushed her hair back out of her face and rubbed his thumb along her temple.

  “Hi,” she said sleepily, smiling at him even as her eyes fought to close again.

  His lips quirked in a half-smile. “Hi. You planning on sleeping down here, or can I help you to your bunk?”

  She stretched her arms above her head and arched her back. Hüsker Dü protested the earthquake and jumped off of her. The television screen just beyond Harrison's shoulder was off and the bus was still moving. That meant she still had a few hours before she had to be awake.

  Harrison's warm brown eyes, eyes the color of dark chocolate, drew her attention. She smiled at him again and was delighted when he returned it.

  “I'll go to bed,” she said quietly.

  Harrison stood up and allowed her room to swing her legs to the floor. Then he silently followed her up the steps to the bunks. She crawled into her covers, feeling sleep beginning to pull her back under even before she was settled.

  She was completely asleep again within seconds.

  So she missed it when Harrison pressed his lips to her temple and lingered. She also missed the look on his face as he ran his thumb along the apple of her cheek. And she didn't hear him whisper nearly inaudibly against her hairline, “Thank you for being the light in the dark today, when all other lights had gone out.”

  Chapter 9

  Let Her Go

  “I don't understand why they have to put crush on it? Can't they just name it Orange Soda and call it a day?”

  “Right? I mean, it's soda. Why are they trying to make it fancy, it's still gonna kill you.”

  “And it doesn't even taste like oranges. It tastes like sugar and abandoned dreams.”

  Lenny smiled down at her notebook as she listened. It was becoming more and more rare for the band to end up in the same room together for any extended period of time. They had gotten so busy the last couple of years, they just didn't have the opportunities that they once had. But during their down times, when the business subsided for even a brief pause, they would seek each other out. She loved that about them. The gravity of their friendship. It pulled others into orbit around them and they had no idea.

  The door to the bus opened again and Kendra arrived. She looked around at the group, taking in each face at once. Finally she huffed and rolled her eyes. “Where's Zelda? I have some things to go over with her.”

  Sway stretched his arms over his head. “I gave her the day off.”

  “You gave her the day off?” Kendra asked in annoyance. “You? Because you're in charge around here.”

  “Chill out, sweetheart. Carl gave her the day off. She has a friend in town and she's dropping her cat off.” Sway yawned.

  Kendra looked skyward. “No one clears anything with me. No one keeps me informed. Why the hell do I put up with it?”

  “Because you like us more than you hate us,” Mike reminded her with a wink.

  Kendra narrowed her eyes at him. “And why, oh why, if today is the big day off, are all of you hanging out in one bus in a parking lot?”

  The guys looked around at each other silently. Everyone's gaze seemed to rest on Luke. He frowned and pursed his lips in thought. Lenny knew the answer, but was curious to see if he would tell Kendra.

  He shrugged. “We're hiding from our responsibilities.”

  Lenny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. That couldn't be further from the truth. They were writing. Now that they were so spaced out on the buses during travel, and with the strenuous schedule they had undertaken, they had very little time to actually get together to do what they loved to do. Write, collaborate, be creative. Today was a day off on the schedule, but that didn't mean they actually took a break.

  “Rock stars,” Kendra grumbled before she turned back to the door to leave.
/>   Maybe Kendra was spending too much time with Carl.

  “What did you need Zelda for?” Harrison asked, stopping her.

  Lenny looked at the curly-haired guitarist and studied his curious expression. She exchanged a look with Lucy, who was sitting on the floor near Blake's feet with her guitar straddling her lap. They'd discussed just that morning the slight change in Harrison since the beginning of the tour. Both of their husbands thought they were crazy and pointed out that Harrison didn't change. He was the same as he had always been, he kept it that way on purpose. But that wasn't entirely true. He's started working out with Shane and had put on some muscle, which increased his confidence. Though those changes were small and seemingly insignificant to those in his immediate circle.

  No, something else was different. Maybe it was one of those “woman's intuition” things since Lucy and Lenny seemed to be the only two people aware of it. Or maybe the guys were doing what they always did, and covering for their band mate when they knew he was garnering more attention than he was comfortable with. Either way, something was different. And it had something to do with Zelda.

  “I was going to get some photos from her for the website.”

  The way Kendra's chin lifted slightly at his inquiry and the halted way she answered his question made Lenny think that Kendra also thought something was going on there. That was only natural, though. Zelda had been traveling with Sway and Harrison for weeks now, they spent a lot of time together. Lenny knew better than most how close you could get to those you were basically living with. She looked back at Luke, and smiled at the memory of trying not to fall in love with him. What a wasted fight that had been.

  “I can text her if you want me to,” Harrison offered, and Lenny's eyes went back to Lucy. She lifted one eyebrow silently.

  “No.” Kendra shook her head. “That's okay. I'll just see her later.” Kendra gave him a curt nod then left.

  “I still think this works better if you put it here,” Blake said, shoving a wrinkled piece of notebook paper at Mike, who took it and studied it thoughtfully.

  “I told you to let that bar die,” Sway interjected.