Falling

by Jolene Perry

  The day continues on as usual. Dana and Justine greet everyone even though Justine still doesn’t look like she’s feeling all that great. And with two of them, it’s pretty easy for the girls to keep up with what they have to do.

  The lunch crowd starts to file in, and I’m swamped in the kitchen. Justine picks up a newly finished pizza and starts to walk it out. She stops suddenly, drops the pizza on the counter and runs upstairs. What the…?

  Dana steps in just as Justine disappears up the stairs and follows. I run the pizza out and go back to the kitchen to finish up the next set of lunch orders. It takes Dana almost thirty minutes to come back down.

  “What’s going on? You two left me in the lurch down here.” I try not to sound too irritated.

  “Your sister has some sort of stomach bug. Probably from the airplane or something. She’s heading to bed.”

  Dana looks…weird.

  “Don’t worry, though.” She suddenly smiles and things start to look normal again. “I’m fine.” She grabs a pitcher of coffee and a pitcher of water and walks out of the kitchen.

  I feel like my brain isn’t hardwired right to get girls. Something’s off. Maybe nothing’s weird. Maybe it’s just two girls in here. I have no idea, but I do know that something isn’t right. Or, at least, I think something isn’t right. I decide that I already know I’m crap at deciphering what women want, so I go back to cooking and try to keep my brain there.

  DANA

  Way Too Much History

  “I can’t believe you haven’t read Twilight.” Justine is open-mouthed at me over our bowls of cereal.

  Justine is eating hers dry again. After the weekend crowd disappeared, she came out of hiding, but eventually she’s going to have to tell her brother why she’s here. He’ll figure it out soon enough if she keeps feeling as rotten as she is.

  “It hasn’t really come up.” I shrug.

  “Hasn’t really come up?” Justine laughs again. “But you’ve heard of it.”

  “Anyone with a TV or a computer has to know what Twilight is.” I smirk. “Besides, I’ve been sleeping in your room. From the posters of the adolescent boys on your walls, I’d say I was Team Jacob.”

  Jason chuckles, but keeps his eyes on his computer.

  Her cereal spews over the table. “What?”

  Justine stares. I laugh. Jason shakes his head.

  “Oh,” Justine says. “You’re only saying that because you haven’t read them yet.”

  “I don’t plan on reading them.” I take another sip of coffee, just waiting for her reaction. Two days and I love her to pieces already.

  “Please?” Justine uses her best whiny voice. It’s the kind that takes practice.

  Jason fails at holding in his smile, but his eyes are still very carefully trained on his screen. “Both Jason and Boz have read them and they’re no fun to talk to because all they do is complain about Bella. Pleeeaase?”

  Jason laughs until I catch his eyes, then his face falls.

  “Wow, Jason,” I tease finding this whole conversation suddenly hilarious. “You read Twilight.”

  “Yes.” He glares at Justine, which is more adorable than angry.

  “Jason read a teenage girl vampire book.” I just want to soak in this fabulous moment for a few minutes.

  “Yes.” His body slumps a little in defeat. He has to know I’m going to hold this over his head.

  “Okay, Justine. If Boz and Jason can take it, I’m sure I can, too. I’m assuming you have them around here somewhere?” I take another sip, trying to pretend that this isn’t going to be a big deal. For Justine, I can read four stupid books.

  Justine’s whole face lights up, and I start to understand why Jason can’t tell her no. “I’ll be right back!” She leaps out of her seat so fast she almost spills her remaining cereal on the table and runs up the stairs.

  “Thanks.” Jason’s eyes are on mine in a way that quakes through me.

  “For what?” I lean away slightly, suddenly needing more room to breathe.

  “For reading the books that Justine obsesses over.”

  “Well, if you can handle it, I’m sure I can, too.” I smirk again as I stand, but Jason takes my hand, and gives me the slightest tug until I sit next to him. He reaches his hand to the back of my neck and starts to bring us together.

  I breathe in as we get closer together and the familiar smell and feel of him rocks my core.

  “Jason…I…” There’s no way to say anything without sounding crazy. I’m half convinced that I am going crazy. “I’m confused about a lot right now.”

  “But—”

  “Sorry. I just…” My heart’s hammering at how close we are. How his hand feels on my neck. How he feels. How he smells. Everything. “Give me some thinking space?” I’m being pulled between liking him way more than I should, and hating how much I like him. I’m also being torn between Alaska and St. Louis, and the future I had, and the uncertain future I could have. I just don’t know at all what I want, and the last thing Jason needs is to be led down another path with a dead end.

  Leann listened, but she can’t help me. Not with this.

  Instead of at least sitting next to him, I grab all the dishes and do a quick wash in the sink. Jason sits still for a moment, and we’re very thankfully interrupted by Justine as she tromps back down the stairs—her four Twilight books with their tattered edges in hand.

  She holds them out toward me as I dry my hands. “So, this is the first one and…”

  “I’m sure I can figure it out.” I take the stack of books from her and set them on the counter. I want to check in with Leann, and see if Keith’s made any more ridiculous demands about how I need to keep him informed.

  Justine gasps just a little as I pick up my computer, and I realize she really is desperate for me to read these books.

  “I’ll get to it, I promise.” I sit on the edge of a couch and pull my laptop up. “Just have a few things to finish first.”

  Justine nods once, and I think we’re good.

  JASON

  I Really Should Know Not to Try and Make Sense of This.

  As I’m writing at one of the dining tables, I suddenly realize the girls are whispering in the living room area. This can’t be good. I strain to hear, but I know if I make a move they’ll stop talking.

  “Yes, that’s where I was before, but it doesn’t matter,” Dana whispers.

  “What if I want my room back?” Justine whispers back.

  “Really?” Dana sounds unsure. Maybe she’s unsure about where Justine wants to be or maybe she’s unsure about coming back to my room. I don’t know and the chances of me finding out are slim.

  “Jason is making me sleep on his couch.”

  Shit.

  “What?” Dana looks over her shoulder at me and frowns. I try to look like I’m concentrating. When she turns back, they hover in closer, not knowing I can still hear everything they say.

  “It’s totally fine,” Justine says. “And anyway, I miss my room.”

  “Fine,” Dana says. “But you’re the one telling your brother that we’re swapping sleeping arrangements, and I don’t care either way. It doesn’t matter.” I’m not convinced that it doesn’t matter to Dana. I try hard to look like I’m still concentrating and not smiling, thinking about what I might be up to tonight.

  “Okay.” I don’t have to see Justine to know the smug look she has on her face. For some reason this is exactly what Justine wants. I smile openly then. Having Justine get her way is almost as scary as when it happens to Dana.

  I finish making a huge veggie pizza for lunch—girls’ request. We still have loads of food from our last Costco run. When lunch is over I do dishes, Justine heads to my apartment, and Dana picks up Twilight. She’s still wearing her glasses and her sweats are barely high enough to cover her panties. I stare at her back as she walks into the living room and flops into one of the ugly couches. They may be hideous, but they’re just so damn comfortable. I can’t imagin
e spending all the time required to break in a new set. I sit back down at my computer and resist the urge to sit close to Dana.

  After a while Justine appears with her suitcase, it rolls loudly through the still room and clunks on the stairs as she walks up. “I miss my room.” She says as soon as she’s out of sight. “Dana said it’s fine.”

  I look over at Dana and smile. I’m excited about our night.

  She’s completely absorbed in Justine’s book.

  So, I know Dana’s sleeping in my room tonight, but she’s not acting like the flirt I was sleeping with last week and, still, I have no idea what to expect. I feel like I’m in high school again, tiptoeing around, not knowing what to do…

  An hour later Dana is still reading Twilight and Justine has taken over my computer. This is boring and ridiculous. I take off for Boz’s place.

  “Girls cramping your style?” Boz laughs as I come through the door.

  “Dana has been sleeping in Justine’s room and Justine had been sleeping on my couch.” I rub my hands over my face a few times.

  “Bummer.”

  “I think it’s changed now. Today, I overheard part of the girls’ conversation—”

  “No, no.” Boz shakes his head. We both sit at his small wooden table. “Never try to make sense of a conversation between girls.”

  I stare. “Anyway, a few minutes later Justine marches upstairs with her suitcase. I have no idea if it was her idea or Dana’s idea…”

  “Jason. Stop, man.” Boz is laughing at me. “You’re way over thinking. You’re a guy. If you get to have sex, great. If you don’t, that sucks, but as soon as you try to have more with that girl, you’re going to get crushed.”

  “I think we’ve had this conversation before.” I run my hands through my hair a few times. I’m a mess.

  “And we’ll keep having it until you get it.” He laughs a little.

  I have to start thinking about something other than Dana. “How’s business?” I ask him. Boz’s marijuana seeds are becoming a bit of a fad. He makes more runs to the post office than anyone I know. I’m still waiting for one of the postal ladies to ask him why he has so many friends in Amsterdam, but they’re old and might not notice.

  “Excellent.” He looks pleased. “I was in the middle of a Guy Ritchie film when you walked in.”

  “I’ve seen them all. Let’s finish it off.” It’s the perfect thing to get my mind off whatever’s going on next door.

  Boz opens his laptop back up. He has my TV for when he really wants to watch something.

  “Want a light?” Boz asks. “I can roll one up for you.”

  “Not tonight.” I shake my head. “Thanks.”

  Boz hits play and the movie continues. Handsome Bob has just come out to his best friend, and we both laugh at the reaction. This is good. This is exactly what I need. Tough guys kickin’ ass and schemes and crazy twists. It’s the perfect thing to get my brain off of the situation at home.

  The place is quiet when I open the door. Justine’s gone. Dana’s gone. I walk to my apartment to see Dana sitting in bed. She’s wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, she has her hair up in a ponytail and her glasses on. I stand and watch her for a minute. I love her like this. Boz would smack me in the back of the head, again. I deserve it.

  “Hey.” I smile.

  She looks up at me and pulls her legs up closer to her body. “Hey.”

  “I’m…” I have no idea what I’m going to say.

  “I can’t.” She shakes her head. “I mean. Justine’s here and things are good.”

  I don’t understand most of what she said. How did she know to say “I can’t” and what does Justine being here have to do with anything and what on earth does she mean by “things are good?” Shit. I can tell she still wants some space. It’s okay, I tell myself, I already knew this. I smile a little.

  “And you have that very important book to read.” I can be friendly. I guess we’re friends now…who share a bed. But, judging by her cryptic few sentences, body language and presence of pajama pants versus panties—we’re just sharing somewhere to sleep. Nothing else. I’m once again annoyed at Justine, but I know I won’t stay mad. First off, I never do, and second, Dana’s back in her sweats. The real girl is here, and if friends are what we are, we’re okay.

  Wait. That actually sucks. I can’t look at her without thinking about my hand on her, and now I’m going to be sleeping next to her, but not with her? This is crazy.

  I find a plain white undershirt and after I strip to my boxers I grab a pair of pj pants. If this is how she wants us right now, I can do it. I’d rather be too careful than scare her away. So much for Boz’s words of wisdom. I’m all over the place.

  “I’m a slow reader.” She smiles at me. I just stare.

  It’s like I can’t touch this girl, this Dana. I know better.

  “I blaze through things,” I tell her. It feels like talking about the weather.

  “I read like I’m reading out loud.” She almost looks apologetic. “It’s slow.” Why would I care how fast or slow she reads?

  “Where are you?” I point. “In the book.”

  “Bella’s in Port Angeles.”

  “You’re just about to hit my favorite scene.” The moment the words are out, I cringe.

  “Is that so?” She laughs. “Jason has a favorite Twilight scene.” She’s herself and she’s teasing me. I like it. I feel like an idiot, but if we can lie together while she laughs at me, it’s worth it.

  I rub my face before turning away and cram as many logs into the fireplace as I can.

  “Justine kept asking about scenes, and she can sniff out a bullshit answer like nobody’s business.” I shrug as I turn around.

  Dana grins. “I can see that about her.”

  Something hits me. “There are a lot of other rooms open.” As soon as the words are out, I realize what an asshole I am.

  Dana’s face falls. “I wasn’t even thinking.” She folds the book closed and starts to slide off away from the wall.

  “No.” I sit on the edge of my bed. “It’s fine that you’re here. We’d just have to wash the sheets before the weekend anyway. It’s okay. Stay. Please.” And hell if I’m afraid to say anything. Too eager will chase her away, not eager enough and she’ll think I don’t want her here. This is a mess.

  Dana leans back against the wall, and now as far from me on the bed as she can manage. “I don’t know what I’m doing after this. I don’t know if I’m going home to St. Louis. Home to somewhere else. Staying in Anchorage for a bit. I just don’t know.”

  I lean across the bed to rest a hand on her shoulder, which suddenly seems like a risky move, even though my hands have been everywhere. “Dana. I knew what I was getting into when we started…” Whatever it is that we have or had.

  “I didn’t.” She shakes her head. “I’m… This was a bad idea.”

  I’m not exactly sure what she means by “this” and I probably don’t want to know. Sleeping together? Her moving into my room? Both?

  “Relax.” I flop down and pull up the blankets. “I’m wiped. I’m going to crash. But I do have the most comfortable bed in this place.”

  I don’t want to fight with her, but this whole thing is a reminder of why I shouldn’t get involved. She needs space because she doesn’t know what she wants.

  The problem is that she’s in my bed, and I really, really want her here whether we’re having sex or not. This is definitely going to bite me in the ass.

  There Aren’t a Whole Lot of Things I Can do, but There Are Some.

  I know the trial that Dana is going to testify in is coming up fast, and I also know that at some point the gravity of what she’s involved in is going to hit her, and I want to be around when that happens.

  I send Mitchum, from the DA’s office, an email. I’ve known him for a while, and he’s the best kind of guy, so I’m thinking he’ll help me out.

  Mr. Paris,

  This is Jason Warner. I know the Matth
ew Workman trial is coming up soon. I’m sure you’d like an opportunity to talk with Dana Copeland. I will happily give you a room in the lodge for yourself and your wife this weekend to give you time to talk over the case. Even though she hasn’t mentioned it, I’m sure that she’s starting to get nervous, just let me know.

  Jason

  I get a response in less than five minutes.

  Jason–

  Great to hear from you. My wife and I would love to take advantage of your offer. We’ll see you Sunday night and we’ll stay through Monday morning. I’m sure you’d have a few empty rooms anyway, and if I’m talking with a witness, I may not even have to take a sick day.

  Mitch

  I’m glad I can be helping in some way because I’m sure Dana would refuse anything direct. This is good. Helpful without being intrusive.

  This is Why I Like to Work Alone

  “I hate wiring.” I exhale as I pull out the boxes holding the light fixtures Dana bought.

  Justine clasps her hands together and begs. “Please Jason, please, those things are so, so horrible.”

  “Give me a sec.” They’re obviously not going to let it go, and I know I’ll end up doing it anyway. I go out to the electric box and turn off the main line of electricity coming in here. Nothing will work. I know you only have to turn off the breaker of the area you’re working in, but I’m not taking any chances.

  Dana is making grilled cheese sandwiches, and I wonder if she even knows how to cook anything else. Guess its good that we have a gas stove since I just turned off the power.

  I scoot the first table underneath where I need to be standing. They’re tough old tables and shouldn’t have any problem with me.

  I get the first wagon wheel off with cheers from the girls. Dana sets the sandwiches up on the counter and comes to help. Justine has already ripped open the box of the new fixture. Dana stands up on the table with me to hold it in place while I mess with the small screws. She smells good, and I keep stealing glances at her as I try to put the new fixture on. I start to put the wires together. I hate this part. I hate touching those raw wire edges. I take a deep breath and start, black on black, white on white and green…