What The Heart Wants

by Gadziala, Jessica

  “Thank you for… you,” he countered, his arms hugging her against him.

  Sam held her for a long time. She felt so small in his arms, like she could just disappear if he didn’t hold on. “Sam?”

  “Yeah,” he said, his voice barely carrying at all.

  “I’m hungry.”

  Sam threw his head back, laughing hard, his chest rising and falling. He looked back down at her, smiling up at him as if he lost his mind. “What?” she asked, her eyebrows drawing together.

  Sam stood up, reaching down for her hands to pull her back onto her feet. “Nothing,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Don’t change,” he said, bending down and handing her her panties.

  Twenty-Three

  Anna sat down at the dining room table across from her mother five days later, silently wondering if she ever planned on going back home. Not that she didn’t love seeing her. And Viv had been nothing but a good house guest. That being said, Anna felt them quickly falling into old habits.

  Around her mother she found herself feeling like a child again. Every time she left her clothes on the floor instead of the hamper, or went outside of the house without saying anything, or drinking more than two cups of coffee a day, she felt Viv’s disapproval weighing on her.

  She threw herself into drying and freezing herbs. If everything went as planned, she could have her first round of orders out within two weeks.

  Viv was carefully painting her nails, making Anna begin to genuinely worry that Viv was never leaving. In all of her memory, Viv had never painted her own nails, choosing instead to spend hours and drop tons of money on weekly manicures.

  “Is everything alright, Mom?” she asked, looking up from her papers.

  Viv looked up, smiling widely. “Never better,” and went back to her bright pink polish.

  Anna opened her mouth to speak when there was a pounding on the back door. Anna jumped at the unexpected interruption and Viv looked up at her with confusion. She got up and made her way into the kitchen and opened the door.

  Eric stood there, his hand resting on the door frame and his face looking toward his feet.

  “Eric,” she said, more than a little unsure why he was not at her front door. “what are you doing here?”

  Eric took a visibly deep breath, his head rising. His eyes looked uncharacteristically unhappy. The gray of his eyes somehow deeper than usual. “I’m sorry, Anna.”

  “About what?” Anna asked, feeling genuinely worried.

  “Your greenhouse. I was just going out there to work on the solar…”

  “You’re working on the solar?” Anna half-asked, half-accused. Why hadn’t Sam said anything about asking him?

  Eric’s brows creased for a second. “Yeah Sam needed help. I’m the only one in town who knows about wiring and stuff.”

  “Oh, okay,” she said, realizing again how good he could be. He had readily agreed to work for the guy who stole a girl he cared for… to work on a gift for said girl. Who did that? “So what’s wrong?”

  “Anna, ask the man in. You don’t entertain people standing in the doorway,” Viv’s voice chided her.

  Eric looked over at Viv, his charming smile not quite reaching his eyes as he stepped inside. “Heya Viv. Lookin’ good.”

  Eric leaned against the kitchen counter. “Baby,” he said and she tried to deny her heart did a little flutter. A part of her would always be utterly charmed by him. He reached for her hand, holding it gently in his. “it’s destroyed.”

  Anna felt like the floor was giving out beneath her. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. “Sam,” she said under her breath, looking up at Eric.

  A flash rushed over his eyes for a second before his face settled into its casual sharpness. “I called him on my way to tell you. He’ll be here in a minute.”

  “I’ll call the sheriff,” Viv said, standing and reaching for her cell phone in her purse despite her wet nails. “Who would destroy someone’s greenhouse?” she asked, as her phone rang.

  Anna stood there unsure what she should be doing. She looked up at Eric who looked just as uncomfortable as she felt. “Eric,” she said, her voice quiet. He looked up at her quickly.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you,” she said. His brows furrowed before she rushed on. “for helping. With the greenhouse. That was really nice of you. I appreciate it,” she said, moving to stand next to him, her hip brushing his. Her head leaned on his chest for a second before she straightened again quickly.

  “Okay great, see you in a few minutes,” Viv said, putting her phone down. She looked up at Anna with angry eyes. “Exactly what did he mean by ‘not again’?”

  Twenty minutes later, the house was feeling hot and cramped. Sam had rushed into the house a few minutes after Viv hung up her phone, took Anna’s hand and held onto it as he spoke to Eric about exact details. Aiden arrived a few minutes later, standing in the kitchen asking questions and jotting things down. All the while Viv was sitting at the dining room table, her legs and arms crossed, shooting daggers at Anna. She should have told her. She knew she should have told her. But she hadn’t wanted to worry her for no good reason.

  “I haven’t gotten anywhere on the Jamie situation,” Aiden started and what interrupted by both Eric and Sam.

  “What Jamie situation?” Sam asked.

  “Jamie Sinclair?” Eric asked at the same time.

  “Yeah, Miss. Goode,” at Anna’s raised eyebrow, her coughed and corrected himself, “Anna... had a meeting with Mr. Sinclair on… personal business. And she met Mrs. Sinclair and remembered getting less than friendly looks from her in the past.”

  “She’s a crazy bitch,” Eric said, looking over at Sam with concern.

  “Eric…” Aiden chided, nodding at Anna and Viv.

  “Oh, please,” Viv said, standing and moving into the room. “I’ve heard, and used, much worse language. So you think this Jamie bitch,” she said, winking at Eric who smiled. “might have something to do with all this… destruction of private property?”

  “That’s the thing, Miss. Goode,” Aiden said, putting his notebook into his back pocket. “we have nothing to go on at all. There hasn’t been any concrete proof.”

  “Well,” Viv said, slipping out of her heels. Something Anna had never seen her do in front of men she wasn’t sleeping with. “let’s go see if we can find anything.” And with that, she was walking out the backdoor barefoot.

  Anna had a second to marvel at the look of her mother’s feet carelessly step through the dirt in her yard. What, exactly, was it about Stars Landing that had her suburban high-maintenance mother turning into a new person?

  Viv looked over her shoulder at them all standing inside the house. “Am I supposed to be doing this myself?” she asked and kept walking, leaving everyone to rush after her.

  Anna stood there numbly, shaking her head. The glass walls and ceiling were all shattered. The metal support beams twisted out of shape. The solar panels, which she knew must have cost a small fortune, were completely destroyed with some sort of blunt instrument.

  “She even cut the wires,” Eric said, kneeling down and taking a handful of the colorful wires in his hand.

  “We don’t know it’s her, O’reilly,” Aiden chided in his policeman voice. He was taking notes again. “Anna you should think about putting up some cameras…”

  “She shouldn’t have to put up cameras,” Sam broke in, his voice firmer than it usually was. Anna looked at him, his whole body tight with tension or anger… or both. His movements were stiff and purposeful. “This isn’t Philly,” he said, looking pointedly at Aiden and Anna wondered if small town sheriff Aiden had actually worked in a big city. “This needs to stop.” The words barely came out, his jaw was so rigid.

  “Anna,” Viv called, standing on the toolbox Eric had brought to avoid cutting her feet on the shards of glass. Anna walked over to stand next to her mother who reached out and touched her upper arm. “Go over there,” she said, nodding her head toward t
he guys. “he needs you to calm him down before he explodes,” she advised and Anna realized she was right.

  “Sam,” Anna said, tentatively, trying to reach out to the now anxiously pacing Sam. “Hey,” she said, her hand grabbing his wrist as he moved past her. He stopped moving at the contact, but kept his back to her, his head downward. “It’s alright, Sam…”

  “It’s not alright,” he spat, turning to face her, his eyes fierce. “This shouldn’t be allowed to keep happening.”

  “Sam, I loved the greenhouse idea but it’s okay that…”

  Sam shook his head. “It’s not about the greenhouse. I’ll rebuild it. But whose to say this… person wont keep doing this? What if they get bored of destroying property and decide to hurt you?”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Anna said, realizing it was a rational escalation of future events. “I have half the town looking out for me,” she said, waving back toward everyone else. “You’re always around. Mom is here now. And Eric and Aiden are a call away. Hey,” she said, sounding more forceful than she ever did before, trying to get his attention. “that’s not going to happen,” she said, moving her body against his and wrapping her arms around his waist.

  She felt Sam take a deep breath. As he exhaled, her hair fluttered around her face. His arms came up and held her to him painfully for a moment. “Sorry,” he mumbled, kissing her head. “I just… this isn’t how things are in this town. You shouldn’t have to be worried about this here.”

  Anna smiled. “You cant control everything. We’ll eventually figure out who did this and then life will go back to normal.”

  “Baby,” Eric called, coughing quickly to cover his mistake. “Anna,” he corrected. “I’m gonna go with Aiden and check out the tire prints from the salt incident. See if we can figure out a make and model, start narrowing it down a little.”

  Anna pulled out of Sam’s arms and walked over toward them. “Thanks, I really appreciate it. Let me know if you get anything.”

  Viv cleared her throat as they walked away. “Hey, honey. Why don’t you run back to the house and get me some shoes. Something with rubber heels. And some gloves and a trashcan. Let’s get this cleaned up.”

  Anna walked back to the house finding that she was oddly numb to the shock. In her short time in Stars Landing, it seemed like there was a nonstop chain of awful surprises. It was getting to the point where she was constantly just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  She was rummaging through her closet looking for a spare pair of gardening shoes when there was an insistent rapping on the front door. Anna walked into the living room, a twisting sick feeling in her stomach as Sam’s words nagged at the back of her mind. But if someone was coming to hurt her, she doubted they would knock first.

  Pulling the door open, her eyebrows drew together in surprise. “Mr. Sinclair?”

  John Sinclair, dressed in another summer suit, this time in baby blue, shifted his feet uncomfortably. “Miss. Goode,” he said, his voice sounding strained. “may I come in?”

  Anna moved away from the doorway. “Of course,” she said, watching as he walked inside.

  “You changed everything.” It sounded like an accusation.

  “Yes,” Anna said, watching as he ran a hand over the bookshelf. When he said nothing further, Anna coughed awkwardly. “Was there something I can help you with, Mr. Sinclair?” she asked.

  John turned around quickly as if he forgot she was there, his eyes far away replaying some kind of memory. “Oh right,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “word in town is something happened to a structure you were building. Well, the town committee… I belong to the town committee, you see,” he rambled. “we sometimes decide to step in when tragedy strikes in town and put some money together to fix it.” He handed her a folded piece of paper. “That should cover it.”

  Anna unfolded the paper, finding it was actually a check. A personal check from him. For ten-thousand dollars. “This is all very nice,” Anna said. “but Sam was the one who paid for the greenhouse. This should really be given to him, not me. It was a present to me.”

  John held up a hand. “I trust you can get it to him then,” he said, moving toward the door. “Have a good day, Miss. Goode.”

  Anna listened to his car in the drive for a moment before moving into the kitchen and grabbing her phone off of the counter. She quickly dialed Eric’s number and waited a few seconds to hear his deep voice answer. “Hey baby, what’s up?”

  “Hey,” Anna said, feeling uncomfortable, looking down at the check. “Mr. Sinclair was just here. He said it was all over town about the greenhouse and that he and the committee decided to pay for the rebuild. He gave me a check.”

  “Anna,” Eric said, his voice serious. “we literally just got back into town. We haven’t talked to anyone yet. There’s no way that he…” Eric’s voiced trailed off and she heard him talking to Aiden.

  Then she heard Aiden on the other end of the phone. “Anna,” he said, sounding very professional. “I think we finally have enough to go on to bring Jamie Sinclair in for some questioning. While it’s true that the town committee gets together and gives money to people in need, it’s a collective thing. The money always comes as cash, not a personal check. And like Eric said, there’s no way it would have gotten around town yet. So he had some kind of personal insight. So I am going to head over to their estate now. I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Okay, thanks Aiden,” she said, hanging up. She put the check into a cabinet and gathered the supplies Viv had instructed her to. She could practically feel her mother’s frustration at her taking so long all the way across several acres.

  Twenty-Four

  “Alright,” Aiden said, propping his feet on his desk. “I had Jamie Sinclair in here,” he told her. “She definitely did it,” he said, shrugging. “The only problem is I cant arrest her for it.”

  “Because there’s no evidence,” Anna supplied.

  “Right. And she didn’t exactly admit to it. There were just comments here and there. She did it.”

  “I don’t understand though,” Anna said, shaking her head. “I never did anything to her. I hadn’t even actually met her when all of this started.”

  “Right,” Aiden agreed, his brows furrowing. “I don’t get it either, Anna. I mean if you want answers… maybe you could go to John. See what he has to say. Maybe if you tell him that we aren’t going to press charges, he will talk. Shed some light.”

  –

  Anna felt her pulse in her throat, erratic and distracting. She didn’t know why she had to know. Maybe Jamie was just a lunatic. There seemed to be no other explanation for her actions. But she needed to hear it from John. Maybe hearing him admitting it would make her feel slightly better.

  She had called him and asked him to meet her at the diner so she could speak to him without Jamie present or snooping around.

  He showed up ten minutes late, sitting across from her with his hands clasped on the table top. “Miss. Goode. To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked and Anna got a flash of the younger man he must have been, charming and smooth, polished.

  “Well, this is a little… awkward,” Anna started, fiddling with the handle on her coffee mug. “I need to talk to you about the destruction on my property.”

  “Is the ten grand not going to cover it?” he asked, reaching in his pocket and drawing out his checkbook.

  “No no,” Anna rushed, holding a hand out. “That’s not it at all. I want to talk to you about who did it.”

  “Indeed,” John said, slipping his checkbook back into his pocket and sitting up much straighter. “Some town youths, I presume?”

  “Your wife.” There, she said it. It was out in the open. Quick and painless. John’s eyebrows shot up quickly before his face became a mask of outrage. “I’m not going to pursue any charges,” she rushed on. “I honestly just want some answers. I don’t understand why she would hate me.”

  “She doesn’t hate you,” John said, surprising
himself. There was an emphasis on the word “you” as if her hatred lied elsewhere and she was just unlucky enough to get caught in the crossfire.

  Anna sat up straighter, her heart pounding. “Then who does she hate?”

  John let out a sigh, the sound long-suffering and tired. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “Not a chance,” Anna said, shaking her head. “If someone is going to keep trying to destroy my life, I feel like I have a right to at least know why.”

  John smiled as the waitress handed him a lemonade and scooted off. “I’m sure you have heard by now about my wife,” he sent her a sad look. “about how she isn’t… right.”

  “I might have heard something like that,” Anna said, remembering Eric’s comments and trying not to laugh.

  “Well Jamie wasn’t always… unhinged. She used to be a very active woman in our community… putting together charitable events and volunteering at the school or library. She was very respected. But ours hasn’t been a happy marriage. She is much younger than me and has interests and hobbies I have never wanted anything to do… at my age.” He looked out the window, speaking more to himself than to her. She wondered how long he had been longing to tell this story. “I began my affair with Mam several years after I married Jamie. Unfortunately for me, Jamie was always suspicious.”

  “She found out,” Anna concluded, and John sighed again.

  “Yes. And she did not take it well. Jamie was much younger than Mam. By a good fifteen years, mind you. And I am sure Jamie would say she was much prettier, though Mam had her own kind of rugged appeal,” he smiled wistfully for a second. “When she found out that it was more than just a… physical affair, she got very jealous. Rightfully so,” he said, looking serious. “I know it was wrong. Cheating is unforgivable. But I loved Mam with everything my sorry bones had. When Jamie found out that I had no intentions of ending the affair, something inside her just… snapped.”