My Soul Loves

by Barbara Gee

  “Deal. So, um, how often do we get to see each other?”

  He pretended to think about it. “Maybe once a week?” My jaw dropped and he arched a brow. “You don’t like that rule?”

  “I hate that rule.”

  “How often do you suggest?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I know it’ll be harder to get together now that you’re not living right next door, but I wouldn’t mind making the drive over here a few times a week. I like getting out of the house.”

  “Well that’s good, because JP’s gonna need someone here until he can get in and out of the wheelchair by himself. Mom will come over while I’m working, but I’ll need to be here most evenings.”

  That gave me an idea, and before I could chicken out, I asked if it would be okay if I would cook dinner tomorrow and bring it over to them so they could have a night without take-out food. Thankfully, Jude had no problem accepting my offer, and I was thrilled to know I’d see him again so soon.

  I didn’t want to push my luck or give him a chance to change his mind, so after the dinner details were settled, I told him I needed to get going. When he was walking me to my car, like the gentleman he was, he asked whether I’d done anything about the Abigail situation.

  It made me feel good to know he hadn’t put that completely out of his mind, even though it seemed like forever ago since we’d talked about it.

  I admitted I hadn’t done anything yet, then I told him about the things she was trying to pull on the project we were working on, including trying to undermine me to Ian. That made Jude angry, and he encouraged me to either confront her soon, or better yet, tell Ian everything.

  I considered Ian a last resort, because I was afraid of how it would affect the team. If Ian fired Abigail, we would all suffer in various ways. But I assured Jude that I did plan to talk to Abigail soon. I was confident that if she knew I was onto her, she’d shape up. She would never want Ian to find out what she’d done.

  “It’s going to be really hard for me, though,” I admitted. “She’s going to be furious, and she’ll act all self-righteous, even though she’s the one in the wrong. I’m pretty sure she’ll back off the things she’s trying to pull on the job, but there’s a chance she’s going to hate me even more.”

  “Maybe, but she needs to know she can’t get away with that stuff. Who knows what she might try if she feels invincible.”

  “She’s not as bad as you think, she just gets irrational when it comes to Ian.”

  He tilted his head to the side and raised a brow. “Ava, she put cameras in your ceiling. I think she is as bad as I think.”

  I didn’t have a good rebuttal for that. “I’ll talk to her,” I promised.

  “Good.” He opened the car door and rested an arm along the top of it. “You can tell me how it went tomorrow evening when you bring dinner.”

  I started to agree, then gave him a shocked look when I realized what he’d said. “Wait, tomorrow?” I asked. “I wasn’t planning to talk to her tomorrow.”

  “Why not?” he asked simply.

  I struggled for an answer. “Um, it’s Saturday. I don’t know if she’ll be available.”

  He dipped his head and looked deep into my eyes, and for a few seconds I forgot about Abigail. I forgot about everything but Jude, and how elated I was to be standing here talking with him instead of driving off in tears.

  He wasn’t going to let me off the hook, though. “Just try, okay?” he asked. “I’ve been worried about her trying something else.”

  “She doesn’t even know where I live.”

  “She could find out easily enough.”

  When I gave a noncommittal shrug, he gave me a stern look. “Look, Ava, doing things to make Ian question your work might not be as bad as hidden cameras, but it’s a sign she’s still feeling threatened by you. I don’t like where that could lead.”

  I groaned softly, dreading what I had to do. Then I caved. How could I not, when the man I loved—and thought I’d lost—was this worried about me?

  “Okay. Yes. I’ll try to talk to her tomorrow.” I sighed and gave him an accusing look. “You do know you’ve just sentenced me to a night of no sleep, right?”

  “Sorry about that.” He grinned suddenly. “On the other hand…..I plan to sleep like a baby, because for the first time in almost a month, I won’t be trying to figure out why the girl next door lost interest.”

  Although he said it in a teasing way, there was lingering hurt there. I put my hand on his arm, and just like that I was blinking back tears once again.

  “That was never the case,” I said quietly. “There wasn’t a single second I didn’t miss you.”

  His eyes held mine for a moment before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and gently pulled me against his chest. “I didn’t know until just now how much I needed to hear that.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

  “I know. Me too.”

  I looped my arms around his waist and we just held each other for a while. It was what I’d wished for so desperately for four long weeks and it was as amazing as I remembered. One minute in this man’s arms—that’s all it took for me to feel centered again, filled with hope instead of loss.

  “I’d better get back to JP,” Jude finally said, slowly pulling away. “See you tomorrow evening.”

  “I’ll be here. Seven o’clock.”

  “We’ll be waiting with bibs on.”

  I laughed. “Good night, Jude.”

  “Night, Ava.”

  It was hard to get in my car without taking one last, long look, but I knew if I stood there gazing longingly up at him, I’d be asking for a kiss he wasn’t ready to give. He wasn’t ready to jump right back into things, into us, and I needed to respect that.

  I drove away from his house in a completely different frame of mind than when I’d arrived. I’d been so sure we were over. I’d expected to say what I needed to say, then tell him goodbye, and that would be it for Jude and Ava.

  I was profoundly grateful that wasn’t the case, and I promised myself I wouldn’t get impatient and try to rush things. Jude had opened the door to another chance, which was so much more than I’d dared to hope for. I would gladly follow the rules—the ones we’d be making on the fly—whatever they were.

  Because Jude Keller was worth waiting for. However long it took.

  Chapter 23

  Iwoke up the next morning with a weird mix of feelings. I was close to euphoric at the thought of seeing Jude that evening, and just as close to nauseous at the thought of confronting Abigail.

  In the interest of delaying that particular task for as long as possible, I started a load of laundry, made eggs and bacon for breakfast instead of my usual yogurt and granola, then decided I should get my grocery shopping for dinner done before I got caught up in work…..and Abigail.

  I’d come up with a menu the night before. Stuffed shells, salad, homemade rolls, and peach cobbler for dessert—Grandma’s famous recipe. I sat down and wrote out my shopping list, then mixed up the roll dough so it would have plenty of time to rise.

  It ended up being after lunch before I finally made my way upstairs to my office. I checked my email first, snapping to attention when I read one from Ian complaining about me not pulling my weight on the job I was doing with Abigail.

  I was on a low simmer as I read his words a second time. Not pulling my weight? I’d done twice as much work as Abigail, and the breakthrough we’d had two days ago had been all me. It had never even occurred to Abigail to look for a second hidden server.

  Unfortunately for Miss Abigail, there was nothing like an undeserved email-lashing from the boss to move me past my reluctance to confront. I immediately sent her a message requesting a video conference in ten minutes. Well, maybe I didn’t request so much as demand. Go me.

  I drummed my fingers on my desk while I waited, coming up with several different ways to begin the conversation. With three minutes to go, my phone suddenly emitted the text tone I�
��d sorely missed the last few weeks. I almost knocked it off the desk as I grabbed for it.

  Is it seven yet?

  My heart melted and I replied quickly. Not quite, but I’m glad to be counting minutes with you again.

  Me too. I think.

  You’ll be glad to know I have a video meeting with Abigail in about two minutes.

  Thatta girl. I’ll say a prayer for you.

  Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  Call me. I don’t want to wait until this eve.

  Okay I will. Bye for now.

  A minute later, my computer trilled and a video request from Abigail popped up. I took a deep breath, remembered Jude was praying for me, and answered.

  ***

  One glimpse of her face and I knew she wasn’t happy about me summoning her to this meeting.

  “Hey, what’s so pressing, Ava? Some of us are trying to get some work done, although I notice you just now logged in.”

  I said a quick prayer of my own, asking for courage and the right words to speak.

  “We need to talk, Abigail.”

  She didn’t actually roll her eyes, but she may as well have. “We talk all the time. We work together, remember?”

  I ignored the sarcasm and got right to the point. “I found the cameras.”

  For one split second her eyes showed shock and maybe a little fear, then…..nothing.

  “What cameras? What are you talking about?”

  Wow, she was good. If I wouldn’t have been zoomed in on her face, I might have missed that first unguarded reaction. And if I had, her total composure now would have fostered some doubt about whether she was guilty.

  I leaned forward and looked directly at her. “You wasted a lot of time and money,” I said bluntly. “There was never any need for the cameras. I don’t have a thing for Ian, and I never did. Not even way back when we were going out.”

  Abigail looked down, studying her black-painted nails. “You’re so weird, Ava. I have no idea what you’re talking about or why we’re discussing cameras.”

  “I’m not planning to get the police involved at this point,” I continued, as if she hadn’t spoken, “even though it gives me the creeps to think about you watching me. I’m not even planning to tell Ian. But it’s messed up, Abigail. You can’t just put cameras in a person’s house and think that’s okay. If you don’t trust Ian after dating him for this long, then maybe you two aren’t meant to be.”

  She looked up then, her ice-blue eyes like lasers. I suppressed a shiver, glad we were talking virtually rather than face-to-face. What I saw now scared me.

  “Don’t you ever talk about Ian and me,” she ground out. “Our personal life is none of your business.”

  I stood my ground. “You’re exactly right about that. And mine is none of yours.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Are we done here? This is a ridiculous conversation.”

  “You also need to stop trying to turn Ian against me professionally,” I stated. “I have more than enough evidence to prove you were the one watching me, and I can pass it on to him at any time. You might want to think about that the next time you try to undermine me on a project. Especially one where I’ve contributed twice as much as you have.” I gave her a narrow-eyed look of my own. “You’ve spied on me, and now you’re trying to get me kicked off the team. Did you think I was going to sit back and let that happen?”

  Her eyes were full of hate, but I wasn’t finished. I opened a three-ring binder and held the first page up to the camera long enough for her to see what it was.

  “I’ve been printing out daily logs for our joint project, ever since I realized you were misrepresenting my work to Ian. It’s a little app I designed a while back to keep track of a job where we billed for hours worked instead of a contract price, and it came in real handy for this. I’ve also included a lot of my own daily notes. I’m going to send it all to Ian, so he knows exactly who’s done what on this project.”

  “Like logs can’t be faked,” she said breezily, not looking at me now. She gazed off into space and twisted a lock of her bright red hair like she hadn’t a care in the world.

  “I couldn’t fool Ian with a fake log, and you know it,” I said. “I’m going to give it to him and let him draw his own conclusions about who’s taken the lead on this project.”

  “Oh come on, Ava. Do you really think he’s going to fire me? Or break up with me?” She laughed and gave me her best sultry look—one she no doubt used frequently on Ian. “Pretty sure I can convince him it was just a misunderstanding.”

  “You can try, but something tells me he won’t be quite as forgiving as you think, especially if I tell him about the cameras. Which I don’t plan to do…..unless these misunderstandings continue to happen.”

  “Your threats don’t scare me, Ava.”

  I smiled grimly. “They should. Goodbye, Ava. I’m going to get some work done now.”

  I closed down the video app before she could make another snide remark, and then I just sat there for a few minutes recovering. When the tension in my gut finally eased and my hands stopped shaking, I emailed Ian the digital version of the log I’d shown Abigail. I didn’t include any explanation, I just sent him the proof of my work in response to the email he’d sent me that morning.

  After that was sent, I settled in for a few hours of work on the project. It was important for Abigail to see me working as usual, but it was awfully hard to concentrate. I not only had Jude heavy on my mind—in a good way for a change—but for the first time, I began to seriously consider leaving Ian’s team.

  It would be a drastic move, but there was little chance Abigail and I could be colleagues long-term. One of us had to go. I knew if I exposed her deeds to the other team members, they’d agree she should be the one to leave. But even if that happened, she and Ian might continue to be a couple, and if that was the case, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to continue working with him.

  I had other options…..maybe it was time to explore them.

  ***

  Once I’d had a little time to process the talk with Abigail, I called Jude to report it had gone pretty much as expected. When he asked if she admitted to installing the cameras, I told him no, but based on her reaction, I was positive she was the one. He wanted a blow-by-blow account of what she’d said, and I smiled and told him I knew he was going to ask for that, so I’d recorded the whole thing and would play it for him tonight.

  He laughed that sexy, low laugh of his and said he wasn’t surprised I’d thought of that. Then he asked if it was okay if he filled Jed in on what was going on so we wouldn’t have to leave the house to talk about it that evening. I had no problem with that, since Jed—or JP, as I still thought of him—would never meet Ian or Abigail anyway. I did, however, request that Jude not give JP a lot of details about the kind of work I do.

  After we hung up, I sat there staring into space with a goofy smile on my face. I was still completely amazed that Jude had opened the door to give us another chance. Amazed and beyond grateful. I hoped and prayed I wouldn’t mess it up again.

  I forced myself to work for two hours, then went back downstairs to knead the bread dough and shape the rolls. I left them to rise again while I worked for another hour, then I locked my fancy security door and went down to get started on the peach cobbler.

  It was the weekend, after all. Three hours of work was plenty for a Saturday, regardless of what Abigail might say.

  ***

  I pulled into Jude’s lane at ten minutes after seven. I would have been right on time if I wouldn’t have had to stop for gas, but I’d been too distracted yesterday to notice the needle was clear at the bottom of the “E.” I was lucky I hadn’t run out on the way home from Jude’s.

  I’d just gotten out of my car when Jude came out the front door.

  My breath caught at the sight of him and I slowly closed the car door, standing still while I watched him come down the porch steps and across the drive toward me. He was wearing a li
ght gray T-shirt and well-worn jeans that fit his long legs perfectly. I was pretty sure I would never, ever get tired of watching Jude Keller’s smooth, loose-limbed, sexy walk. I actually shivered a little as he neared.

  “Hey,” he said, his teeth flashing white when he smiled. “Thanks a lot for doing this. I have a real hungry brother looking forward to some home-cooked food.”

  I raised my brows. “What about you?”

  His eyes roamed over my face, his smile growing. “I was looking forward to you more than the food, but I’ll eat my share.”

  I ached to hug him, long and tight, but reminded myself we were doing this at his speed. And, since I didn’t know exactly what that speed was, I needed to let him be the one to take the lead.

  “I hope you like it,” I said, feeling a little awkward because I was pretty sure he knew what I was thinking. I quickly turned and walked to the back of the SUV to open the tailgate. I had all the dishes tucked snugly into two boxes, but before I could reach in for them, Jude came up behind me and put his hands on my waist.

  I sucked in a breath at his touch and closed my eyes when he pushed his face into my hair.

  “Food smells good,” he murmured. “You smell better.”

  I slowly turned to face him, putting my hands over his. He smelled good, too. So good. I looked up at him, my pulse racing from being so close.

  I swallowed nervously and decided to push the issue just a little. “So…..last night you said we could make up the rules as we go, right?”

  He raised a dark brow. “I believe I did say that. Do you have a suggestion?”

  “Mmm, yeah, I kinda do. I’m thinking we could make a rule saying I’m allowed to hug you whenever I’m especially glad to see you. Like I am now.” I cocked my head and squinted up at him hopefully. “Actually, I think I should always be allowed to hug you. Because it’s really hard not to.”

  He narrowed his eyes as he pretended to think about it, his hands tightening on my waist. “I think I might be able to live with that rule. Do I get to hug you back?”