By My Side

by Wendy Lou Jones

  Mark sat down next to her bed. “How are you doing?” he asked.

  Kate smiled brightly. “Better, thank you.”

  “You’ve been through the mill a bit, I hear,” he said and Kate let out a soft chuckle.

  “Well, a few days ago I would have gladly taken a dose of something highly toxic, but I’m not too bad today.”

  “Has Adam been up?”

  Kate was a little taken aback. How did he know she had been on first name terms with Adam? Then she remembered their fight in the middle of A&E. “Er… Yes.” She grimaced.

  “And?”

  Kate looked at him, reluctant to share any further.

  “Look I know you two were close, Kate. You can’t expect me not to have gathered that much at least. What happened?” he asked.

  Kate was struggling to see how any of this was his business. “He came storming in here shouting at all and sundry,” she said.

  Mark looked at her sternly.

  Kate frowned. “What? He was being a thug.”

  He shook his head. “You have no idea what that man’s been through this past week, have you?”

  Kate asked him, but even as the words were leaving her mouth, an ominous fear was creeping across her.

  Mark Cobham frowned. “You did know his wife was killed in a car crash?” he said.

  With everything that had happened, Kate had completely forgotten. “Shit.”

  “Yes, well. Now you see why it has been so hard for him?”

  “He could have still come in to see me.” Her voice was feeble now and she heard it. How could she have forgotten? “Could you tell him I’m sorry?”

  “Absolutely not. The man would kill me if he knew I had been up here talking about him and I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of Adam when he’s angry. He’s almost as big a force to be reckoned with as you are in that respect. Besides, he’s in Scotland, fishing with an old friend at the moment. I’m sure he’ll get in touch when he comes home. You’re both great, you are, infuriatingly rubbish at communication; how on earth either of you ever made it into this game I have no idea, but…” He winked at Kate’s shocked expression. “You’ll get there,” he said. He smiled at her then, patted the back of her hand and left her alone to think.

  Kate knew she needed time to heal. If she was going to face what was coming with Adam, she was going to have to be in a bit better shape to do so or at least have had a proper shower before facing him again. But what good could come of it? She had to apologise, but would it really make a difference? Would there be a future for the two of them after all that had gone before? Or was he just getting her hopes up again for no reason?

  The following week, Kate was allowed home, home to her parents’ house anyway. She was facing six weeks off work at least, being looked after by her mother.

  In the first week Kate was grateful for the haven of her parents’ home. By the second, she was feeling a lot brighter, although the frustration of not being able to do things for herself was beginning to take its toll and in the third week, Sophie brought Collette over, the doctor who had taken over at the house.

  Kate was looking more respectable by then. Her hair had been washed several times since arriving home and her stitches were out. She had physio appointments every week and she was absolutely determined to be diligent.

  Another week passed and Kate finally got to go home. She sat down with Collette on her first evening back and they found out about each other and what they liked to do. Kate asked Collette how she had heard about their place and Collette mentioned a word that sent pain through Kate’s heart: Elliott. Kate immediately excused herself, pulled out her phone and rang Sophie.

  “Rich, I know it’s late, but is Soph there?” she asked.

  “No, I’m afraid she’s not back yet,” he told her. “She shouldn’t be long though. Is anything wrong?”

  “No,” Kate said. “I just needed to ask her about how she found out about Collette.” Kate held up a soothing hand to silence her suddenly agitated housemate.

  Rich was stalling. “I think you need to talk to Soph about that.”

  Kate realised what this meant. “Was it Adam?”

  Rich cleared his throat. “Look, she thought it was for the best, Kate. She really did.”

  After a short while reassuring Rich that she wasn’t angry with Sophie, Kate finished the call and settled again to continue chatting with a now very uncomfortable Collette.

  Kate’s orthopaedic out-patient appointment arrived. It was the day she had been waiting for and dreading in equal measure. She would have to go back into the hospital and risk bumping into Adam, but hopefully Mr Barker would give her the all clear and she could finally get back to work. She had heard nothing from Adam the whole time she had been off and she was increasingly suspicious that she only had herself to blame. If he had only shown some level of concern for her after the accident. Just a hug or a bunch of flowers. Some sort of sign that he cared.

  Kate felt nervous as she got dressed that morning. She was looking forward to being able to drive again, once she bought a new car that was. The surgeons had already discharged her, but she had been with her mother that time and had been lucky enough to get in and out quickly. Today’s appointment was near the end of the day. Kate had decided to take this one alone and now she had almost seven hours to be nervous in and then it was likely to be running late and she’d have to wait around even longer to get the deed done.

  She cleaned the house, as best she could. By the time the afternoon arrived Kate’s whole body was aching. She sat down and held out her hands. Her fingers were shaking. There were still two hours to go and Kate was already a nervous wreck. What if she saw him? What should she say? She was tormented by the possibility of seeing him ignore her, or worse, being polite. But then not seeing him might be more shattering still. And according to Mr Cobham, she had been far too tough on him. They needed to talk, yes… maybe; Kate was very afraid her courage might desert her there.

  The clock on the kitchen wall ticked slower and slower. She toyed with the idea of ringing to cancel but she needed to be discharged to get back to work.

  Walking steadily up to the end of her road, Kate caught the bus into town and got off at the hospital. She looked up at it. It was like coming home. Kate had missed being there and she hadn’t even realised it. She checked her watch. Half an hour to go.

  Wandering over to A&E, Kate peered inside, hoping to be spotted, but the staff were too busy to notice her and so she headed over to Outpatients.

  A lady appeared at the reception desk and Kate checked in.

  “Katherine Heath? Mr Elliott’s clinic. Down the corridor and on your right. Just hand this slip to the nurse when you get there and wait to be called.”

  Kate’s blood ran cold. “No. I’m meant to be seeing Mr Barker,” she said. “It says so on my card. There, see?”

  The lady examined her records. “Miss Katherine Heath, Hospital number: 1083466?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mr Elliott’s clinic 4.25pm.”

  Kate fell silent. Of course. She had to face him. He had made it so. Kate took the slip and quietly said thank you and then walked slowly down to the clinic to await her fate.

  Three quarters of an hour passed as she sat there with nurses and doctors calling patients all around her, sending them off for X-rays or for casts to be removed. Kate found herself summoned to the X-ray department for what felt like half her body to be checked and then she got dressed again and walked back round to clinic. She saw the back of Adam at one point as he walked over to see a patient in the plaster room, but he didn’t notice her.

  By the time Kate’s name was finally called, her nerves were frayed and she felt sick to her stomach. Her palms were cold and sweating and her mouth was dry. She stood up, took a deep breath and walked in.

  Chapter 12

  Kate walked inside and stood in the doorway. Adam was sitting there, his face lined in concentration, a computer screen in front of him a
nd a medical student by his side.

  “Take a seat,” he said, without looking up and Kate walked over to the desk and sat on the plastic chair beside it.

  He was studying her films, scanning each one and Kate watched him closely as he did so. His hair looked freshly cut. His suit was smart and clean, if a little crumpled in places and his eyes were grey.

  He turned and looked at her, his elbows on the desk and his hands folded in front of his chin.

  “Mr Barker sends his apologies,” he said, “but he needed to free up a few clinic spaces and he hoped, being staff, you would understand if I reviewed you for discharge instead of him.”

  Oh, Kate understood. She knew she had no say in the matter. She just had to grin and bear it until it was over. Her only consolation was the awareness that Adam seemed to be enjoying this even less than she. Kate nodded.

  Adam looked across at the student and beckoned him over to look at the screen and then turned to speak to Kate. “If I might just…?”

  Kate nodded.

  “This lady came in to A&E from an RTA with a chest injury, tension pneumothorax, fractured neck of femur, ruptured kidney, comminuted fractures of both radius and ulna and a fractured humerus.” The student seemed impressed. Adam pointed to the X-rays on the screen. “Here you can see how we managed her injuries.” He clicked on the mouse button. “And here. And here. And… here. But which injury was the most life threatening?”

  The student paled. “Em…”

  Adam gave him a minute.

  “The kidney?”

  “Close. Kate?”

  Kate looked across at the student and then back to Adam, uneasily. “The tension pneumothorax.”

  “Correct.” He turned to his student. “Kate here is an experienced A&E nurse.” He turned back to look at her. “If she’d have been conscious when she was admitted she probably would have been telling us all exactly what to do.”

  Kate smiled awkwardly, unsure if this was his idea of fun, or if he was actually having a dig at her. His face was giving nothing away.

  “So, how have you been? Are you doing your exercises?” His questioning was courteous and entirely professional.

  “Yes, three times a day,” she said.

  “Are you still requiring pain relief?”

  “Not much. Just now and again.”

  “Any stiffness?”

  Kate shook her head.

  Adam stood up. “Would you mind if I take a look?”

  Kate’s heart rate quickened. Oh God, she thought. She had known an examination was coming, but now it was Adam who was doing it and she was going to have to let him touch her and still have the concentration to respond appropriately. He pointed to Kate’s arm and she slipped off her baggy jumper, revealing a vest top strategically worn beneath. Kate held out her arm and Adam took it and examined the scars. His fingertips skimmed over the surface of her arm, stirring the rhythm of her heart with their gentle confidence. He put her arm through its paces as Kate struggled hard to focus on his instructions.

  “Not bad. Could you slip off your jeans and pop up onto the couch for me, please?”

  At least she had been wise enough to wear shorts underneath. Adam examined her hip. Then he asked to see her chest site and so she lifted up the right side of her top and he examined that too.

  “Breathe,” he said coolly and Kate flushed with embarrassment, realising she had been holding her breath all the while he’d been touching her. “That’s fine.”

  Kate could feel her cheeks burning and quickly pulled her clothes back on. She re-joined the pair back at the desk and played with her finger nails until they were ready.

  “I think we can let you go,” he said without looking up. He raised his head. “Continue with your physio and I see no reason why you shouldn’t make a full recovery.” He scribbled a note on a slip of paper and handed it to her.

  Kate took the slip. Only one word had been written on it: Discharged. She folded it up and put it in her pocket.

  Standing to leave, Kate noticed Adam was busy writing in the notes. “Thank you,” she said.

  He finished off what he was writing and looked up; his face unreadable. “You’re welcome.” And for a second Kate thought she could see something inside him, some sign of affection, but then he lowered his gaze back to the notes and it was gone.

  Kate couldn’t wait to be out of there. The guarded expression on Adam’s face and the detached way in which he had spoken to her made her realise there was little point in attempting to speak to him now. He wasn’t interested. She took the bus back home and sat for an hour staring into nothing.

  But in the end, life had to go on. Rich had sorted out her insurance while Kate had been ill and now she had a cheque lying on her bedside table waiting to buy a new car. She reached across the table and grabbed the local paper and turning to the motoring section, she began to read. Most of them were too expensive but one dealer, a short distance outside town, was a little cheaper than the rest, and they had a car that just might suit. She tore out the advertisement and rang her dad to see if he would go along and see it with her.

  That weekend Kate and her dad paid a visit to the dealer and tested out the car. They looked at a couple of others too while they were out there but ended up buying the first one they tried. Sophie arranged to drive her over to collect it the following Friday afternoon, after she’d finished work and Kate was beginning to feel a bit better.

  Kate arrived at the dealer’s that day and signed for the car, taking hold of the keys. She was anxious about getting behind the wheel again, but excited at the return of her liberty.

  She sat inside the car and started it up. She was okay. Pulling out onto the main road, she felt a little apprehensive, but she was all right; she could do this.

  Kate decided to drop into A&E to say hello before she started back at work the following week, not only to break up the journey but she still needed to thank everyone for all they had done for her the day she was brought in.

  She walked in to A&E as Mark Cobham was walking out. “Kate! You look a hundred times better,” he said. “I was just wondering how you were getting on. Have you been in to clinic?”

  Kate took a second to fall in. “No. That was last week. I’ve just been to pick up my new car.”

  “So? How did it go?”

  “Great. It’s lovely and very smooth.”

  “I meant the clinic, Kate.”

  Kate looked around. “You mean with Mr Elliott?” She thought she might as well say it; it was obvious he knew.

  “Yes.”

  “Discharged,” she said and smiled.

  “And?”

  “I’ll be back next week.”

  “Excellent. Make sure you’re fully recovered first. We don’t want you wrecking yourself up again. Adam would have my guts for garters if I let you come back here before you were ready.”

  Kate frowned at him.

  “Tell me you got everything sorted out between the two of you?” Mr Cobham’s expression was suddenly less fun.

  Kate sighed. “Not really. I mean, he had a student with him, but… Oh, who am I kidding? He wasn’t interested in talking to me. He could barely look at me. I really don’t think there’s much point.”

  Mark Cobham huffed and grabbing Kate by the wrist, he hauled her back into his office and sat her down. “Now what I’m about to tell you may get me into a lot of trouble with our Adam,” he said, “but the pair of you are just about driving me demented, so sit there for a minute and listen to what I have to tell you. Then, if you still want to walk out of here afterwards that’s fine, but first you need to know the facts.”

  Kate swallowed. She looked into Mark Cobham’s face and realised he knew something that was about to devastate her and she had no other choice but to sit there and listen.

  He sat and adjusted his chair. “I told you Adam’s wife died in a car crash, didn’t I? Well in the end he had to make the decision to turn the machines off. He had to do that, Kate, for th
e woman he loved. Move three years on and once again he is devastated by the discovery that the woman he loves… Yes, I said loves, Kate, has been seriously injured in a car crash.”

  Kate forgot how to breathe. If this was just the beginning, she was never going to survive.

  “He wasn’t on duty the night you came in, you’ve probably worked that one out by now. But I rang him. I had to. If it was your friend, wouldn’t you? He found me in A&E, forced John to let go of the case and took over your care, down to the last detail.”

  “But-”

  “Your sign said Hammond and Barker? Yes, I know. That was the way he wanted it. But it was Adam who got you sorted out and into Theatre. He didn’t give us any choice really. I almost had to stop a fight breaking out between the two of them, arguing in the middle of A&E about who would take care of you. He saved your life, Kate, no two ways about it. Oh, we all did our part, of course, but Adam was the driving force behind it. He wanted the responsibility for everything. If he could have managed without the surgeons, anaesthetists and everyone in Theatre, I’m convinced he would have done it. He wanted to make sure everything was done perfectly. Even down to stitching up all your tiny little wounds, which he could have easily left to any number of others to sort out for him.”

  A light bulb went on in Kate’s mind, as her brain slowly imploded. “So that’s why Mr Barker couldn’t tell me who had stitched up my leg.”

  “He wouldn’t have been allowed to say anything.”

  “But why all the secrecy? Why not just tell me?” Kate asked.

  “For you, Kate. You were so angry with him before the crash and when you came round on ITU, you didn’t want him anywhere near you.”

  Mortified, Kate covered her face with her hands.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Kate. He understood that. But to help you through it, he kept out of your way. He checked in on you with the nursing staff and the surgeons all through the days that followed and crept in to see you every night. In fact, I think the surgeons were quite glad when he went on holiday.” He smiled. “He was pretty terrifying.”