The Wonder Weeks

by D van de Rijt

  Frankie’s mom, 59th week

  “As soon as my daughter is dressed, she crawls over to my dressing table and tries to spray herself with perfume.”

  Laura’s mom, 57th week

  “Yesterday, when I went into my son’s room to get him, he was standing up in his crib grinning like mad. He had gotten almost completely undressed by himself.”

  John’s mom, 58th week

  “My daughter feeds her dolls, bathes them, and puts them to bed. When she’s used her potty, she’ll put her dolls on the potty, as well.”

  Jenny’s mom, 56th week

  If your little one wants to eat on his own, let him try it as often as you can. Keep in mind that he is creative enough to want to test different methods of eating—and all of them will probably be messy. If cleaning up gets tiring, you can make cleaning easier by putting a large sheet of plastic on the floor under his chair.

  “Since my son has learned how to eat his dinner by himself with a spoon, he insists on doing it completely on his own. Otherwise, he won’t eat. He also insists on sitting in his chair at the table when he’s eating.”

  Kevin’s mom, 57th week

  “Suddenly, my daughter discovered it was great fun to first stir something with a spoon, then stick it in her mouth.”

  Jenny’s mom, 56th week

  “My son loves eating raisins from a packet by himself.”

  Matt’s mom, 57th week

  “My daughter says ‘pie’ when she’s finished eating her food, so she knows there’s more to come. As soon as she’s finished her dessert, she has to be taken out of her chair.”

  Emily’s mom, 60th week

  Bags, purses with money inside, the television set, the radio, cleaning utensils, makeup—many little persons want to use everything the same way their mothers do. Some children now leave their own toys lying somewhere in a corner. Try to work out what your little one is trying to do, even if he does not always make life easy for you.

  “I saw my son pushing phone buttons for the first time today, putting the receiver to his ear, and babbling busily. A few times he said ‘dada’ before hanging up.”

  Frankie’s mom, 56th week

  “My daughter picked up the phone when it rang and I was out of the room for a second and really ‘talked’ to her grandma.”

  Emily’s mom, 60th week

  “My little girl knows exactly which button to press to open the cassette player. When she comes to me with a CD of children’s songs, she’d really prefer to be putting it in the CD player herself.”

  Jenny’s mom, 57th week

  “My son is in love with the toilet bowl. He throws all sorts of things in it, and cleans it with the brush every 2 minutes, drenching the bathroom floor at the same time.”

  Frankie’s mom, 56th week

  “My son brings me newspapers, empty beer bottles, and shoes. He wants me to tidy up and put them away.”

  Frankie’s mom, 56th week

  Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Toys

  Many children now become interested in more complex playthings that allow them to imitate programs, such as a garage with cars, a train with track, a farmhouse with animals, dolls with diapers or clothes, tea sets with pots and pans, or a play shop with packages and boxes. If your little one shows an interest in such toys, offer him opportunities to play with them. Help him once in a while. It is still a very complicated world for him.

  “When I sit next to my son on the floor and encourage him, he’ll sometimes build towers as high as eight blocks.”

  Matt’s mom, 57th week

  “When my daughter plays on her own and needs help, she’ll call out ‘Mama.’ Then she’ll show me what she wants me to do.”

  Hannah’s mom, 55th week

  “My daughter is becoming increasingly interested in Primo toys, especially the little people and the cars. She’s also starting to try to build things from the blocks. She fits the pieces together properly once in a while. She can continue doing this for quite a long time.”

  Emily’s mom, 57th week

  “My son is getting much better at playing by himself. Now he is seeing new possibilities in old playthings. His cuddly toys, trains, and cars are starting to come alive.”

  Bob’s mom, 55th week

  Most children are interested in seeing the “real thing,” too. For example, if your baby is interested in garages, take him to see cars being repaired. If he is interested in horses, tour a riding school. And if his tractor, crane, or boat is his favorite toy, he will certainly want to see a real one working.

  Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Language and Music

  When he leaps into the world of programs, your child becomes fascinated by stories. You can let him hear and see them. You could let him watch a story on television, you could let him listen to a tape, or best of all, you could tell him a story yourself, with or without a picture book. Just make sure that the stories correspond with whatever your child is experiencing himself or with his interests. For some children, this will be cars, for others it will be a special flower, animals, the swimming pool, or his cuddly toys. Keep in mind that each story must contain a short and simple program. Most little ones of this age can only concentrate on a story for about 3 minutes.

  “My son can really become absorbed in a toddler show on television. It’s very funny. Previously he just wasn’t interested.”

  Kevin’s mom, 58th week

  Also offer a budding little talker the opportunity to tell his own story when you are looking at a picture book together.

  “My daughter can understand a picture in a book. She’ll tell me what she sees. For instance, if she sees a kid in a picture giving a treat to another kid, she’ll say, ‘yum.’”

  Hannah’s mom, 57th week

  Many little children are eager chatterboxes. They will tell you entire “stories” complete with questions, exclamations, and pauses. They expect a response. If your toddler is a storyteller, try to take his stories seriously, even if you are still unable to understand what he is saying. If you listen closely, you may sometimes be able to make out a real word.

  “My son talks until your ears feel like they’re about to drop off. He really holds a conversation. Sometimes he’ll do it in the questioning mode. It sounds really cute. I would love to know what he’s trying to tell me.”

  Frankie’s mom, 58th week

  “My son chatters away like crazy. Sometimes he’ll stop and look at me until I say something back, and then he’ll continue his story. This past week, it sounded like he was saying ‘kiss,’ and then he actually gave me a kiss. Now I pay 10 times more attention.”

  Frankie’s mom, 59th week

  Many little ones love listening to children’s songs so long as they are simple and short. Such a song is a program as well. If your toddler likes music, she may now like to learn how to make all the appropriate gestures as well.

  Be Happy with His Help

  When you notice your child is trying to lend you a hand, then accept this. He is beginning to understand what you are doing and needs to learn to do his own share.

  “My daughter wants to help with everything. She wants to carry the groceries, hang the dishcloth back in place when I’m done, carry the place mats and silverware to the table when I’m setting the table, and so on.”

  Emily’s mom, 62nd week

  “My daughter knows that apple juice and milk belong in the fridge and runs to the door to open it. For cookies, she goes straight to the cupboard and gets out the tin.”

  Jenny’s mom, 57th week

  “My daughter plays Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man all by herself, complete with incomprehensible singing.”

  Jenny’s mom, 57th week

  Some children also have a lot of fun playing their own piece of music. Drums, pianos, keyboards, and flutes seem to be their particular favorites. Naturally, most budding musicians prefer grown-up instruments, but they will be able to do less harm with a toy instrument. />
  “My daughter loves her toy piano. Usually, she plays with one finger and listens to what she’s doing. She also likes to watch her father play his piano. Then she’ll walk over to her piano and bang on it with both hands.”

  Hannah’s mom, 58th week

  Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Experimentation

  If your toddler is a little researcher, you could see him performing the following program or experiment: how do these toys land, roll over, and bounce? Your little Einstein can go on examining these things for what seems like forever. For instance, he might pick up different toy people and drop them on the table 25 times and then repeat this up to 60 times with all sorts of building blocks. If you see your child doing this, then just let him carry on. This is his way of experimenting with the objects’ characteristics in a very systematic way. He will be able to put this information to good use later on when he has to decide in the middle of a program whether to do something this way or that. Toddlers are not simply playing—they are working hard, often putting in long hours, to discover how the world works.

  Teach Him to Respect You

  Many children are now beginning to understand that you can be in the middle of a program, as well, such as when you are busy cleaning. When you notice your baby starts to comprehend these things, you can also start asking him to have consideration for you so that you can finish what you are doing. At this age, however, you can’t expect him to wait too long.

  “When my son wants to get his own way, he’ll lay down on the floor just out of my arm’s reach. That way I have to come to him.”

  Matt’s mom, 56th week

  Do Remember

  Breaking old habits and setting new rules are also part of developing each new skill. Whatever new rules your baby understands, you can demand from him—nothing more, but also nothing less.

  “When my son is doing something, for instance building, he suddenly shakes his head, says ‘no,’ and starts to do it in a different way.”

  Kevin’s mom, 55th week

  “My daughter gets out her little locomotive to stand on when she wants to get her things from the closet. She used to always use her chair.”

  Jenny’s mom, 56th week

  Good to Know

  Some children are exceptionally creative when it comes to inventing and trying out different ways to attain the same final goal. Gifted children can be particularly exhausting for their parents. They continually try to see if things can be done some other way. Whenever they fail or are forbidden to do something, they always look for another way around the problem or prohibition. It seems like a challenge to them never to do something the same way twice. They find simply repeating things boring.

  Top Games for This Wonder Week

  Here are games and activities that most toddlers like best now. Remember, all children are different. See what your little one responds to best

  DOING A JOB BY HIMSELF

  Many toddlers love being allowed to do something very mature all by themselves. Making a mess with water is the most popular job. Most children calm down as they play with water.

  GIVING THE DOLL A BATH

  Fill a baby bath or a washing-up bowl with lukewarm water. Give your child a washcloth and a bar of soap, and let him lather up his doll or cuddly toy Washing hair is usually a very popular part of this game

  DOING DISHES

  Tie a large apron on your child, and put him on a chair in front of the sink Fill the bowl with lukewarm water, and give him your dish sponge and an assortment of baby-friendly items to be washed, such as plastic plates, cups, wooden spoons, and all sorts of strainers and funnels A nice topping of bubbles will make him even more eager to get to work Make sure the chair he is standing on does not become slippery when wet, causing the busy person to lose his footing in his enthusiasm Then stand back and let the fun begin

  HELPING OUT

  Your toddler may prefer to do things with you. She can help prepare dinner, set the table, and shop for groceries. She will have her own ideas about the job, but she will learn a lot by doing it with you. This helps her feel grown-up and content.

  UNPACKING AND PUTTING AWAY GROCERIES

  Put fragile and dangerous things away first, then let your little assistant help you unpack. You can have him hand you or bring you the groceries one by one, as he chooses. Or you can ask him “Could you give me the. . . , and now the. . . “ You can also ask him where he would put it. And finally, he can close the cupboard doors when you are finished. Encourage and thank him.

  HIDE-AND-SEEK GAMES

  Now you can make these games more complicated than before. When your child is in the right mood, he will usually enjoy displaying his tricks. Adjust the pace to your child. Make the game neither impossibly difficult nor too easy for him.

  DOUBLE HIDING GAME

  Place two cups before him and put a plaything under one of them. Then switch the cups around by sliding them across the table This way, cup A will be where cup B was, and vice versa The object of the exercise here is not to fool your toddler but the very reverse. Make sure that your child is watching closely when you move the cups and encourage him to find the toy. Give him plenty of praise for each attempt. This is really very complicated for him

  SOUND GAME

  Many toddlers love looking for a sound. Take your child on your lap and let her see and hear an object that can make a sound—for instance, a musical box. Then close her eyes and have someone else hide the object while it is playing Make sure that your little one cannot see where it is being hidden When it has vanished from sight, encourage her to look for it

  “When I ask my daughter, ‘Do you need to use your potty?’ she’ll use it if she really does need to. She pees, carries it to the bathroom herself, and flushes. But sometimes she’ll be sitting, then she’ll get up and pee next to her potty.”

  Jenny’s mom, 54th week

  Show Understanding for Irrational Fears

  When your little one is busy exploring his new world, he will run into things that he does not fully understand. Along the way, he discovers new dangers, ones that he never imagined existed. He is still unable to talk about them, so show him a little understanding. His fear will disappear only when he starts to understand everything better.

  “All of a sudden, my son was frightened of our ship’s lamp when it was on, probably because it shines so brightly.”

  Paul’s mom, 57th week

  “My daughter is a little scared of the dark. Not once she is in the dark, but to walk from a lit room into a dark room.”

  Jenny’s mom, 58th week

  “My son gets frightened when I inflate a balloon. He doesn’t get it.”

  Matt’s mom, 58th week

  ’My daughter was frightened by a ball that was deflating.”

  Eve’s mom, 59th week

  “My son gets terribly frightened by loud noises, like jet airplanes, telephones, and the doorbell ringing.”

  Bob’s mom, 55th week

  “My daughter is scared of everything that draws near quickly. Like the parakeet, fluttering around her head, her brother chasing her, and a remote control car that belonged to a friend of her older brother. It was just too fast for her.”

  Emily’s mom, 56th week

  Top Toys for This Wonder Week

  Here are toys and things that most babies like best now:

  Dolls, doll strollers, and doll beds

  Farmhouse, farm animals, and fences

  Garage and cars

  Wooden train with tracks, platforms, bridges, and tunnels

  Unbreakable tea set

  Pots, pans, and wooden spoons

  Telephone

  Primo blocks

  Bicycle, car, toy horse or engine that he can sit on himself

  Push-along wagon that he can use to transport all sorts of things

  Rocking horse or rocking chair

  Box with differently shaped blocks and holes

  Stackable containers and rod with stackable
rings

  Mop, hand broom, dustpan, and brush

  Colored sponges to scrub with or play with in the bath

  Large sheets of paper and markers

  Books with animals and their young or cars and tractors

  Musical instruments, such as drums, toy pianos, and xylophones

  Cassette tape or CD with simple short stories

  Remember at this time to put away or take precautions with closets and drawers that might contain harmful or poisonous things, knobs on audio and video equipment, electrical appliances, ovens, and lights and power outlets.

  “My son simply refuses to get into the bathtub. He doesn’t mind getting into the baby bath when it’s in the big bath.”

  Frankie’s mom, 59th week

  Around 59 weeks, most toddlers become a little less troublesome than they were. Some are particularly admired for their friendly talkativeness and others for their cute eagerness to help out with the housekeeping. Most are now beginning to rely less on temper tantrums to get their own way. In short, their independence and cheerfulness assert themselves once again. With their new liveliness and mobility, however, many mothers may still consider their little ones to be a bit of a handful. That’s because they think they know it all, but you know they still have to learn so much.

  “My daughter is painstakingly precise. Everything has its own little place. If I make changes, she’ll notice and put things back. She also doesn’t hold onto anything anymore when she’s walking. She will happily walk right across the room. To think I’ve been so worried over this.”