Circle of Secrets

by Lauren Tisdale

  “To a great friendship, and possibly more, depending on where this road leads us,” he said as he held up his glass to click against hers in a toast.

  She nodded and added, “To one of the best doctors, who helped me to get better and on the road to a possible long life.” They exchanged smiles and took a sip of their wine. He uncovered the dishes and the smell began to drift into the wind, making her hungry.

  “Shall we?”

  She nodded. “We shall.”

  They began to eat the food they had cooked together and took turns feeding one another as she complimented him on his cooking skills. “I had good help,” he said with a grin.

  Throughout their dinner she talked about Sophia and how she would spend summers with Marissa’s parents, giving her a break. She also mentioned her relationship with her two best friends Chantelle and Lyndsay, and how her life had changed since meeting him. So many days she hadn’t felt like eating or even getting out of bed because of the pain but his relentless persistence to help find something to manage her illness while other alternatives were found was astounding. Never had someone cared so much to go so far for her.

  “It was my pleasure to see you slowly begin to get better. I didn’t want to see you have a life on dialysis or on a waiting list for a transplant. Those were last resorts. I care deeply for all of my patients and you were too young to be going through so much.”

  “Well, without your help I may have never gotten my life back.” She leaned her head against his shoulder and smiled as they looked into the fire, watching it flicker and lick at the wood. The sun had disappeared so the moon began to shine brighter in the sky. Twinkles of stars spread across the darkened sky, the moonlit waters a black sea of calmer waves slowly teasing the shoreline. The night was perfect. He kissed her forehead and she turned to face him, their lips meeting again in an electrifying kiss. Their empty glasses dropped to the sand as she leaned back, causing him to follow her as he hovered over her, kissing her lips. Her hands trailed his shoulders and grasped his neck as passion took over and all the problems she’d worried about just disappeared.

  Chapter Nine

  As Monday morning approached, Joseph seemed to be getting crankier. Terror filled Helen’s thoughts at what the possibilities implied about her father’s condition. He was a man who had once filled the room with such charisma and life, not this person who began to turn into someone who was forgetful and irritable at the smallest things. She was torn by the thoughts of what she’d do if it was something serious. Tyson reassured her that they would do whatever was needed to make sure he was taken care of and had the best care. They would get through it together. He was a resourceful man, always finding a way around any obstacle. She had complete faith in him that things would work out but a part of her feared the worst.

  The appointment had been set for ten in the morning on Monday. While she drove to the doctor, Joseph seemed in good spirits. The past couple of days his mood had been up and down, depending on the time of day. Some days were completely fine. Joseph kept insisting that he was fine and that Helen worried too much. He was stubborn when it came to doctors, but agreed to appease Helen and see Dr. Grayson, the neurologist friend of Tyson Sr. Tyson had made the arrangements for the appointment and Helen had insisted on taking him. She’d promised if Joseph would go to make sure all was okay then he could go back home and she’d help him here and there until his leg was a hundred percent better.

  She said a silent prayer as they pulled into the parking lot of the office. With her help, he managed to walk into the building. The therapy was helping his leg and it wouldn’t be long until he had full use of it again. Tyson had told her that Joseph could have a brain injury causing some kind of issue and Dr. Grayson would be the one to find it. So here went nothing.

  They remained in the waiting area as Joseph sat silently, and Helen flipped through a TIME magazine. It wasn’t long until his name was called and they both stood and made their way back to the room the nurse indicated. He took a seat on one of the chairs while Helen stood. The nurse was kind enough to bring in an extra chair for Helen since her father could not manage to climb atop the examination table. She thanked her and sat down as they waited for the doctor to come in. He entered the room after about ten minutes, looking down at the folder in his hands.

  “Mr. Joseph Burrows?” he asked as he looked up while taking a seat on a swivel chair and placing the folder on the counter.

  “Yes. That’s me.”

  “What brings you in today?”

  Joseph looked over at Helen and smiled a bit, “My daughter here thinks something is wrong with me,” he said with a nod as she shook her head.

  “I see you were involved in an accident two months back? Did they take scans of your brain?”

  “I—Well, I reckon so.”

  “I asked them to transfer them over but just to be safe I think we should redo some today. I’ll give the orders to have that taken today at the earliest possible time. How have you been feeling lately?” Dr. Grayson asked as he began to do a mental status examination. He asked Joseph numerous questions ranging from who was the current president to what year it was. As he asked and Joseph answered, he wrote notes down. Helen assumed Tyson had already given him a heads-up on the things her father had been doing. Dr. Grayson seemed determined to get to the bottom of it all. He measured Joseph’s blood pressure and looked into his eyes with a strong light. Once he finished writing more notes down, he picked up the folder and nodded.

  “Okay, I’m going to leave the orders at the desk for the CAT scans, get them done as soon as possible today. They will send them to me and I’ll have a look. I’ll have my secretary call you to set up another appointment when the results are in.”

  “That’s it. Take another scan and ask me a bunch of questions? That’s how you’re gonna determine if I’m well or not? Pffft, doctors.” Joseph was becoming a bit agitated and Helen tried to calm him.

  “It’s okay, they have to run tests to know exactly what’s wrong.”

  “Anne, let’s go.” She looked at the doctor with a pitiful look as she mouthed the words ‘That’s my mother’ to him before answering her dad. “Helen, Dad. It’s Helen.”

  “That’s what I said. Let’s go get these tests done so I can get it over with.” The doctor gave her a rueful smile as he seemed to sense what could be wrong but wanted CAT scans to confirm his suspicions. The hospital was right across the street so it shouldn’t take long for them to get those tests done.

  Her father was trying to be cooperative as they placed his head between the headrest bars and secured the strip that went across his forehead. “They gonna put my whole body in that thing?” he asked Helen as he looked up.

  The nurse answered for her. “No sir, just your head.” He seemed more calm by that fact and Helen stood with the nurse while she took the scans. After twenty minutes, she was finally done taking every angle and every scan the doctor requested. She looked at Helen while she helped Joseph up and explained to them what was next. “I’m going to send this to Dr. Grayson’s office right away so he should be calling you later today or tomorrow.”

  “So we just go home?” Helen asked as the nurse nodded. “Come on Dad, let’s get you home.”

  He stood and slowly made his way to the door as he asked, “My home or your home?”

  She debated for a moment before answering, “My home. For now at least. Please?” He sighed heavily as they walked out to the car.

  “Can’t I just sleep in my own bed tonight? Is that so much to ask?” he grumbled.

  “Abigail and the baby will be coming for a visit soon, don’t you want to see them?”

  “Oh I don’t know, I just want to be home.”

  “Fine, Dad, I’ll bring you home, but you have to promise me you’ll call the minute you need anything. And let me fix you dinner.”

  “Okay, deal.”

  She smiled as she helped him into the car and went around to the driver’s side to slip in and hea
d for his house.

  The ride home was somewhat quiet until Joseph turned to Helen and asked her a question that stunned her completely. “Do you think there is something wrong with me? Something serious?”

  She looked at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the road. “Dad, whether it’s serious or not, we’ll fix it. Everything will be okay, I have full faith in Doctor Grayson. He will make sure to take care of you, okay?”

  Joseph nodded and looked out the window again as Helen sighed.

  She could tell he was worried that something might be wrong. Deciding to change the subject she brought up Olivia. “I talked to Abigail yesterday. Olivia is growing so fast, and she’s already almost two months old, can you believe it? Next thing she knows she’ll be graduating from high school, right, Dad?”

  * * * *

  He stayed silent as the trees passed at a fast pace, his thoughts taking over as he barely heard Helen speaking.

  ~1969~

  Joseph held Audrey in his arms as he smiled down at the child. She really did resemble Helen and Thomas. He could see a lot of likeness to Helen and it pained him to know what he was doing would affect all of their lives. Time was running out and part of him almost could not go through with it but he forced himself to continue. It was now or never, he had to follow through with it. There was no turning back. In an hour, it would all be said and done. Cliff had advised against this time and time again, but he held firm to his decision. Dr. Parker peered in the window looking at him with great concern. The doctor folded his arms over his chest and watched as Joseph held the child. Could he do this to his daughter? Most of it had already been done. His need to protect her overrode his rationality.

  “I’m going to bring her to the nursery while you rest, okay?” Helen smiled and nodded sleepily. He could see that she was exhausted. The nurses had helped her to clean up until she felt well enough to shower. She’d just finished breastfeeding Audrey when he had suggested she rest. He watched as his wife rubbed Helen’s forehead and smiled as she lay back on the bed and her eyes fluttered closed. Joseph left the room with Audrey as Anne watched him through the small window. He handed the bundle over to Doctor Parker as he turned and headed in another direction. He turned to see Anne looking at him and gave a weak smile.

  It was the right thing to do, it had to be. In the long run it would prove to be the best decision for his daughter and family. This baby deserved two parents, Helen deserved her life back. She didn’t need to be caring for a child alone, Thomas had not thought it all through, he didn’t think of the possibilities when he promised her he would return. They were both so young and now she was young and all alone. All he wanted was to see Helen succeed in life, become a doctor like she always dreamed without being held back by a child. He had seen it many times, young girls keeping the child they had at a young age and never amounting to anything but someone who regretted every day not getting to live the life they wanted or had in mind. He had spoken to Anne about his concerns but she seemed to think Helen could do it. He didn’t feel as confident that she would be able to.

  “I’ll be back, I’m going to walk her to the nursery.”

  “Okay, dear. I’ll stay here with Helen,” Anne replied. Joseph took the sleeping infant to the nursery. He laid her down and tried to stamp her sweet face in his memory. It reminded him of when Lorraine was born and he stayed up all night just watching her sleep. Being a parent for the first time was a scary thing, he had only been in his twenties and in law school but they somehow made it work. But he had Anne, they had each other and they were married. Helen would be a single mother who was only seventeen with so much of her future ahead of her. She wouldn’t finish high school, he just knew it. Caring for an infant was not easy, it was time-consuming and it cost money. Helen was as stubborn as he was and was determined to prove him wrong but he wanted to see her succeed…and being a parent, he knew she wouldn’t. He had even gotten her a summer internship at the hospital with Dr. Parker when she finished high school, but if she never finished she would miss this opportunity. He couldn’t allow that to happen, and he wouldn’t.

  He left the room and passed Dr. Parker on the way out. “Still doing this, I see?”

  “I have no other choice.”

  “Of course you have a choice, Joseph. It’s Helen who doesn’t have a choice here. Are you even thinking about her well-being? How she will feel about all this?”

  “Why do you think I’m doing this? For her! It’s so she can have a life.”

  “Who are you to decide something like that? Who’s to say she won’t?”

  “Cliff, you’ve been my buddy all these years. I don’t need your opinion. I just need your signature on some forms and all this will be over. Now what will it be?”

  * * * *

  “Dad? Do you hear me? I have to stop for some gas.”

  He blinked a few times and turned to look at Helen sitting in the driver’s seat. She waited until he gave her a nod of understanding. “Yes, sorry, I was thinking about your mother.” She smiled and rubbed his shoulder before pulling into the gas station for fuel. She left him in the car while she paid and pumped the gas she needed. After hanging the pump back up, she slid back into the driver’s seat. He was oddly quiet the rest of the ride home as if something was on his mind.

  She reached his home, the home she’d grown up in, which was far too big for one man. The stairs worried her with his leg having been injured, but he’d agreed to stay in the bedroom downstairs for the time being until his leg was completely healed. That eased her mind but she so badly wanted to stay there with him to be sure everything went well. Tyson insisted that whatever she chose, he’d stand behind her. Her father was just too independent to accept help, he was stubborn just as she was. But maybe he needed his space and who was she to take that away from him?

  “We’re home Dad,” she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and looked over at him as he pulled on the door handle and started to exit the car until the seatbelt across his chest pulled him back. She unhooked his and smiled as she exited the car and hurried to his side to help him out. He pulled on her hand as he stood then used his cane to help him walk up the stairs leading to the front door.

  She’d grown up in this two-story home, far out in the country. Her father had made good money being a successful attorney. He still had a healthy income in his retirement. He refused to sell the house due to all the memories there. He said he couldn’t part with Anne’s dream house. The downstairs area had a bed and bath for guests along with her father’s study. The living room and dining area were on that same floor along with the kitchen. Upstairs were four bedrooms and two bathrooms, including the master bed and bath he’d shared with Anne for so many years before she lost her battle with breast cancer.

  “I’ll be fine, cupcake. I promise. Trust me?” he asked her as he took a seat on the sofa and lifted his leg onto the cushions, stretching it out. “Hell, I may just end up sleeping right here.”

  She contemplated offering to stay the night with him, just in case the doctor wanted to see him the next day, she could eliminate the travel from her house to his. Deciding against it, she nodded and tried to smile to reassure him that she trusted him, which she did, but her worry that he would need something got the better of her. She set the phone down right next to him and sat on the coffee table right across from him.

  “I trust you, Dad. I do. I’m just concerned. What if you need something and I can’t get here fast enough? How about if I just stay the night, until we get the test results in?”

  “Helen, what if it’s something major? Are you going to force me to live with you? Or send me to a home?” His question stunned her for a moment because she hadn’t thought that far ahead. What would she do? What would be the best option for him? She wouldn’t know until the results were in. She took his hand into hers and smiled.

  “Dad, I can promise you that I will do whatever I can to keep you well and safe. How about we cross that bridge when we get the
re? Let’s hear what the results say first.” He nodded and squeezed her hand which she reciprocated. She made sure he had dinner and refused to leave until he was ready for bed. They talked about Olivia, and he finally expressed his delight about the new baby.

  He’d been weird towards her since she was born and every time he was around Helen as she held Olivia he got this look in his eyes. A look like he was far away from the present. Each time she persisted in asking him what was wrong and what he was thinking, he would act troubled and change the subject or become agitated. Some days he was completely himself as if nothing were wrong, other days he was worse.

  She hoped to hear answers soon and prayed it was something that could be easily taken care of. It was almost nine at night when she agreed to go home so he could rest. She made sure he was cozy and the phone was close to him before she locked up the house and headed home. Tyson was aware of her staying late due to her phone call to him earlier that day.

  Once she got home she couldn’t wait to take a nice bath and head to bed. Tyson rubbed her shoulders and reassured her that the neurologist was going to make sure they found the cause and helped to get him better. Her father was all she had left, she wasn’t very close or in touch with her siblings. The minute her head hit the pillow she was fast asleep, after her nightly prayers.