Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks)

by Autumn Brown

  “I didn’t see that one coming.” He said quickly. “She was really in love with you.”

  “Obviously not.” I told him snidely.

  We talked on the way to school. I tried to change the subject, but he wouldn’t let me until he had every excruciating detail. It was almost as if he was hoping to move in on her now. That would crush me. I really hoped I didn’t have to face that possibility.

  At Senior Pole, I waited for Taylor to come. I was talking with the guys and the girls, but I tried to steer clear of the girls as much as possible. If Taylor was thinking about giving me another chance, it wouldn’t look good for my case. Please let her give me another chance. She never showed up to Senior Pole. She was probably avoiding me. It figures.

  I went to my locker. It was totally cleaned out, completely void of anything related to Taylor. The only thing left of her was her scent. There was a note sticking out of the front pocket of my letterman’s jacket. I grabbed it quickly and read it.

  “Spencer. I’m so sorry. I really did love you. I hope you can forgive me. Good luck in everything. Taylor.”

  I hated the note, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. As soon as I saw her again, I’d have a few things to say to her. How could she break up with me? I was going through hell, struggling through every second of the day without her.

  Damn. What was I going to do for lunch now? Zane came to my rescue and offered to take me to Pizza Hut. Of course, I accepted. It reminded me of Taylor. Everything reminded me of Taylor.

  While eating, I grilled my best friend. “Did she say anything about me during History this morning?” I asked him. I knew he wouldn’t betray her confidence, but I was sure he’d help out if he could. Or I hoped he would.

  “She wasn’t there today.”

  “Why?” I asked. Was she sick? Was she taking it harder than me? She shouldn’t have broken up with me if she was going to take it so hard. Damn.

  “I’ll text her.” Zane offered.

  That was perfect. At least I could find out about her through Zane. I waited. I didn’t want to sound too anxious. I watched as Zane texted, hoping he’d tell me what was going on.

  “I’m asking her what’s going on?” he said. “She says she’s sick today. I’ll ask her if it has anything to do with you.”

  I waited for an answer. His phone vibrated about thirty seconds later.

  “She told me to mind my own business.” He said, laughing and shaking his head.

  Damn, that didn’t work out too well. I shook my head in defeat. Zane was texting again. “Are you texting Taylor again? Maybe we should leave her alone.”

  “I’m asking how she’s doing. We are still friends. I should check on her.” he sent the text. “Ouch! She told me to mind my own damn business. She’s definitely in a bad mood. She usually lets me help her through all of her breakups.”

  “She knows we’re friends. She probably didn’t want to put you in the middle.” I halfway laughed. Yes, she’d been through a few breakups. But the other guys dumped her. This time she did the dumping. She shouldn’t need too much consoling. I felt like such a chump. Probably everyone who had ever been dumped felt this way.

  “Maybe, but I can’t just leave her hanging.” Zane said. “She takes these breakups really hard. And, she’s had sex with you, she’s probably going to feel worse.”

  “She dumped me, Zane.” I reminded him.

  “Sorry.” He apologized as if he’d just remembered that fact.

  After lunch, I went to my auto shop class. Jose had a few words for me. I wanted to slug him, but I didn’t. Ryan was a small comfort. He patted me on the shoulder as he walked up to our Chevelle. “It happens to all of us, dude.”

  “Thanks, Ryan. I’m not sure I’m going to get over this.” I confided in him.

  “Date someone else. Soon. Make sure she sees you with her too. That’ll piss her off, or bring her running back.” He advised.

  “No. I don’t want to play those games.” I told him. I didn’t. I remembered her telling me how mad she was at Jose for dating someone else the next day. I wanted to go home. I felt like calling my aunt to pick me up, but she was at work today. I could wait until school was over. Zane didn’t have anything going after school anyway. After auto shop was over, I was changing clothes when my cell phone vibrated. I’d gotten a text from Zane. I read it.

  “She’s not at the hotel. The guy at the front desk said she checked out last night.”

  I texted him back. “Try the trailer park outside of town. She said she was going to rent a trailer there from Karen’s dad.”

  He texted me back a few minutes later. “I’m back at school now. I’ve got an English quiz today. We’ll go check after school if you don’t mind waiting in the car for a bit.”

  “I don’t mind.” I texted him back. I hated it, but I’d have to get used to it. She was Zane’s friend still. Maybe someday the two of us could be friends. We didn’t start out as friends exactly so I’m not really sure how being friends with her would be. Plus I’d never had sex before, so I wasn’t sure that you could be friends with someone you’d been that close to. I’d find out hopefully.

  After school, we went to the trailer park. Karen was standing out front talking to someone, so we stopped to talk to her first.

  “Hey, which trailer is Taylor in?” Zane called to her as he pulled up beside her.

  We stepped out of the car.

  “Taylor? What are you talking about? Is her family moving in here?” she asked. She was really confused.

  “No.” Zane laughed at her. “Where’s your dad?”

  “In the office.” She pointed.

  Zane went in. I stayed outside and talked to Karen. She was a really nice girl. Her dad was really strict with her, so she never made it to any parties. Her, Taylor, and Sandy were all good friends though. She and Sandy were on the flag girl team together.

  “I’m sorry about you and Taylor.” She said.

  “Thanks.” I told her. I really didn’t want to talk about it.

  “I don’t know why she broke up with you. Last week, she was all in love with you and never wanted things to end. She was talking about an apartment in Phoenix with you. Then this week, she ends it. I’m a little clueless as to why she did that.”

  “Me too.” I agreed. It was all I could say.

  Zane came out of the office. “Manny said she hasn’t talked to him about any trailer. He was as oblivious as Karen is. Are you sure she said this trailer park?”

  “She said she talked to Karen’s dad.” I assured him. “In Buckeye. I think she lied to me. I don’t know why though. And, where did she go?”

  “We can check the other hotels in town. Maybe Sandy’s house too.” Zane said.

  “She’s not at Sandy’s. They’d tell me if she did that.” Karen said.

  Of course, I knew that if Taylor asked Karen to keep something quiet, she would.

  Zane drove us around town to the other hotels. We didn’t see her car. That didn’t mean she wasn’t there. It only meant she wasn’t there right now. Zane said we’d check again tomorrow if we couldn’t find her tonight. We also drove to Sandy’s house. We even drove to Taylor’s house. She wasn’t at either place. She didn’t have any other friends that she spent the night with. None that I knew of anyway. Zane thought of a few and we checked their houses. It was a lost cause.

  After I got home alone, I texted her. I told myself that I wouldn’t, but I did. “Where are you staying? I’m a little worried about you.”

  She texted me back. “Trailer, like I told you.”

  “We checked with Manny. Why won’t you tell me where you are?” I texted her back.

  She texted me back. “I don’t want you to know where I am. I want to be alone. It hurts to see you.”

  I texted her again. “I love you still.” I knew it was pathetic. I hated myself for saying it. A text came back that said she’d blocked my number. I tried to call her, but it was blocked too. Damn. Now I felt like a stal
ker. She really wasn’t being fair about this at all.

  The next day, Taylor didn’t show up for school again. Zane texted her. She said she was still sick.

  The next day, same thing.

  The day after that, same thing. “What the hell? Viruses don’t last that long. What the hell is wrong with her? Does she hate me that much for talking to Sally?” I yelled to Zane. I was so fed up with waiting on her, and wanting her so badly that I ached inside. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. This was the most horrible feeling in the world.

  “She broke up with you for flirting with Sally?” Zane asked as if he couldn’t believe it.

  “I was just talking to her. I wasn’t flirting with her.” I defended myself quickly.

  Zane pushed me into one of the make out holes.

  “Dude. We’re good friends, but we’re not this close.” I joked with him.

  “Sally’s a lesbian.” He whispered to me.

  “What? No she’s not.” I gave him a funny look. All the guys in school were constantly after Sally. She had to be straight.

  A guy walked by and looked at Zane and me in the make out hole. He gave us a funny look.

  Zane nodded. “Yes she is. Not too many people know, so keep it tight.”

  “So…Taylor didn’t know.” I said. I hated it that she dumped me over a lesbian. This entire breakup could have been avoided if Taylor had known that.

  “She knew. She told me.” Zane informed me.

  “Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “What the hell? She made up an excuse to dump me?” I was so mad that I could have hit something. How could she do this? And, why?

  Zane shrugged his shoulders. Another guy walked by and gave us a funny look. I stepped out of the hole. I didn’t want any rumor started about how Taylor dumped me because I was gay and in love with Zane.

  A few minutes later, we saw Sandy walking toward us in the hallway. I looked at her. Zane looked at her. We both started walking toward her to catch her. She turned around quickly and walked the other way, trying to make her escape quickly.

  “She knows something.” I said to Zane.

  “She sure does.” He said, then we ran after her.

  She heard us stomping toward her, then she stopped, giving up on getting away from us. She turned around toward us with a guilty look. “Hi guys.” she said, looking as if she’d just committed a felony. She was a horrible liar. We’d get the truth out of her.

  “Where’s she at?” Zane asked her.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Or who?” she said. She was trying to lie. It wasn’t working out too well for her.

  “You know we’re asking about Taylor. What’s going on? She’s hasn’t been sick for four days.” I told her.

  “She’s been sick. Really sick.” Sandy said. She was so obviously lying that it was almost comical.

  “Where is she?” Zane asked. “We just want to know. We won’t bother her.”

  “She switched schools.” Sandy said finally.

  Somehow I knew it was the truth, but I couldn’t believe it. “Which school?” I asked.

  “Phoenix somewhere.” She answered.

  I knew that was the truth, but I knew she was leaving something out too.

  “Where in Phoenix? Is she living in her car?” I asked her.

  “No, she’s staying with her aunt and uncle until she…” Sandy stopped. “graduates. Then she’s going to start college in California next year.”

  Sandy was really stuttering for some reason.

  “Which aunt and uncle?” Zane asked. Did he know where they lived? I hoped so.

  “Bridget and Pedro.” She said.

  “Where do they live?” Zane demanded. “And what school is she going to?”

  “I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me.” Sandy defended herself. “She knew I couldn’t keep it a secret. So she didn’t tell me. I can always get in touch with her.”

  “Until she blocks your calls and your texts.” I pointed out.

  “She’d never do that to me.” Sandy said, very sure of herself.

  “She did it to me.” Zane said. She’d blocked his number this morning after too many texts from him.

  I grabbed Sandy’s phone that was sticking out of her purse. I dialed Taylor’s number quickly.

  “No!” Sandy yelled out grabbing for her cell phone. I dodged her easily.

  “Hey, girl! What’s up?” Taylor said in a really friendly voice. It’d been so long since I’d heard her voice that I froze for a second, just feeling it.

  “It’s me, Taylor. Tell me what the hell is going on. Why did you break up with me? Sally is a lesbian. So don’t you dare try to tell me you broke up with me for flirting with her.” I demanded. She wouldn’t squirm her way out of this one.

  She hung up. Zane looked at me with pity. Sandy looked at me with pity.

  “Sally’s a lesbian?” she asked softly, guilt consuming her voice.

  “I hope I didn’t cause her to block your calls.” I apologized to Sandy as I handed her phone back to her.

  “She’ll never block my calls.” Sandy said with confidence.

  I hoped she was right. I’d feel guilty if I caused her to lose Taylor as a friend.

  “I’m going to the office to see if they know which school she transferred to.” I told Zane.

  “Good idea. I’ll come with you.” Zane said.

  Sandy followed us. I don’t know why. Maybe she wanted to know too. Or maybe she just wanted to warn Taylor if we found out. I asked the lady up front if she’d tell us where Taylor went.

  “I’m not supposed to give out that information. It’s confidential.” she told us.

  Zane used his charms on her. That didn’t work so he practically begged her.

  “I couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to, because we didn’t forward her transcripts anywhere. She came and picked them up herself the day before yesterday. She took them to her new school herself. She didn’t tell us where.”

  Damn. I felt like she was within my grasp and I’d missed her. Zane felt the same way. He’d just lost a friend. I can’t believe she moved. She switched schools. I can’t believe she broke up with me for a bogus reason, then switched schools. What the hell?

  On the way home, Zane kept telling me how sorry he was. I didn’t talk much. I felt so horrible that I thought I might be getting sick. I told my aunt about everything, and she was really upset that Taylor would do that to me. She called her a little bitch in fact. I didn’t like that at all, but I didn’t say anything. I felt like crying again.

  After auto shop, the next day in school, I was walking to Senior Pole with Dwayne and Ronnie as usual. There was a commotion at the pole. Several kids were gathered around someone. When I got up closer, I found Ryan hugging Taylor. Damn that hurt. Were they going out now? And, what was she doing here? She released Ryan, then hugged Sally.

  When I was close enough, I could hear everyone saying they were going to miss her. She was saying goodbye to everyone. My heart sank. I started to walk away, but I couldn’t. Dwayne was trying to make his way to Taylor so he could hug her. He hugged her. She looked up to see me. I simply stared at her. She walked up to me and hugged me. I pulled her body to me, hard.

  I didn’t want to let her go, but she pulled away. However, she kept her arm around my waist. My hopes soared. It felt like when we were together. I draped my arm over her shoulder.

  “So, what are you going to do without her, Spencer?” Ryan asked.

  “Phoenix isn’t that far away.” Taylor shot back quickly.

  “Living for the weekends.” Dwayne added. “Well good luck, Taylor. Come back and see us sometime.”

  “You’d better.” Zane added. “And call us.”

  “Be good!” Taylor called to everyone as they went to class.

  The two of us stood there alone. I wasn’t sure what was going on. “So…Phoenix?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of our friends. I don’t know who all
knows about us.”

  “Everyone knows.” I told her.

  She chuckled. “I guess I wasted all my acting talent then. Can you walk me to the car? I need to grab my cheerleading stuff from Sandy’s locker.”

  “Sure.” I told her. I’d take any minute I could get with her right now. “Do you think you could unblock my calls?”

  We walked to Sandy’s locker. She didn’t answer my question. “Can you ditch Chemistry today?”

  I nodded. “Sure. Why?”