A Good Enough Reason

by C. M. Lievens

  “Bisexual. I like both girls and boys.”

  Dale heard his father move and looked up when he crouched in front of him. “You know it doesn’t change anything, right? I love you anyway. I don’t care if you’re straight, bi, gay, or anything in the middle. You’re my son, period.”

  Dale pressed his lips together and nodded. His dad leaned forward and hugged him. It wasn’t something that happened often, but Dale was grateful for it right now. He needed the reassurance his dad was okay with it, that he still looked at Dale the same way.

  Dad patted Dale’s back and moved away. He rose from his crouch and perched on the coffee table instead of going back to the armchair, and Dale was glad for the silent support. He risked a glance to the side.

  Mom was looking at him with a frown, and Dale’s stomach sank. She wasn’t taking it well, and he hadn’t even told her about Ellis yet.

  A hand squeezed his knee, and Dale looked at his dad. He was looking back at him and smiling, so Dale steeled himself and went on. “So, I told you this because, well, I have a boyfriend.”

  “That’s good, Dale. I assume things are pretty serious if you’re telling us. You don’t usually talk about your, er, partners.” Dale was more than grateful Dad hadn’t mentioned Stephanie, because both him and Mom had met her.

  “Yeah. It’s new, but it feels right.”

  “What about your girlfriend?” Mom asked. Dale saw his father scowl at her, but he hadn’t expected anything different. He’d tried to keep his hopes low, and he’d apparently been right.

  “I broke up with Stephanie.”

  “When? You went out with her last week.”

  “Uh, on Tuesday.”

  “And you already have a boyfriend? After three days? Dale, are you sure about this? Maybe Stephanie wasn’t right for you, but there are plenty of girls who—”

  “Mom, I broke up with her because I’m in love with Ellis.” Dale knew it was true, but jeez, he’d barely admitted it to himself, and now here he was, telling his parents. “I’ve been in love with him for a while, and it wasn’t fair to Stephanie.”

  “But why a boy?”

  “Why did you fall in love with me all those years ago?” Dad asked her.

  “But you’re a man!”

  “So? It doesn’t matter. I’m sure Ellis is a nice guy. Dale wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if he weren’t.”

  “How can you take this as if it’s nothing?”

  Dale looked at his shoes and let his parents yell it out. It hurt that his mom couldn’t seem to accept it, though he’d known it was a possibility. He hadn’t wanted to think about it, but he’d known.

  He didn’t want to disappoint her, but he loved Ellis, and his dad was right. Ellis was worth it, and Dale was worth it too. There wasn’t a good reason to hide the truth from his family.

  A hand clamped on Dale’s shoulder. He looked at his father, happy to see understanding in his eyes. “I’ll go get Alicia. You, well, say good-bye to your mother. She’ll have the weekend to think it over. She’ll be fine.”

  Dale wanted to believe him, but she wasn’t even looking at him. It made him feel so bad, like he’d done something horribly wrong, like he was somehow defective for wanting to be with Ellis. It was the first time he was in love, and his mother made him feel like it was something dirty. Even though he knew it wasn’t, it still made him want to take the words back.

  “Mom? I’m sorry.”

  She sighed heavily. “I don’t understand, Dale. You’ve had girlfriends since you were fourteen. I’ve never heard you talk about guys that way. How is it possible for you to change so suddenly?”

  “I haven’t changed, Mom. I’ve known I was bi since I was twelve. I didn’t tell you because I was scared you’d react like this. It’s never been a problem because I’ve never really liked a guy until now.”

  “You like this guy.”

  “I’m in love with him.”

  Dale’s mom looked at him as if she were trying to read him. He didn’t know what she found, but she shook her head and looked away. “Give me some time to get used to this. As long as you’re sure about what you’re telling me.”

  “I am.”

  “You know it’ll complicate your life.”

  “I know you don’t want me to be hurt, but I’m sure. I wouldn’t have told you if I weren’t. Besides, Ellis and I talked, and we’re going to keep it down at school, at least for now.”

  They both looked at the door when there was a knock. Dale’s father peeked in. “Ready?”

  “Yeah.” Dale got up from the couch and hesitated, but in the end, he leaned down and hugged his mother. She opened her arms, and hope flared in him. Maybe she really just had to think about it. “Thanks, Mom.”

  When they separated her eyes were shining, and her smile was wobbly, but she was trying. “I’ll see you Sunday night.”

  “ARE CONNOR and Damien coming over for dinner?”

  “No idea. Damien probably, but I don’t know about Connor.”

  Ellis nibbled at his lower lip. He wanted to get his coming out out of the way and tell his entire family together. He didn’t want to have to explain why he wanted Connor to come have dinner at home, though. “Can you call him and ask him to come?”

  Mom arched a brow. “Why don’t you call him yourself if you want to see him?”

  “I have stuff to do.”

  “Stuff to do, huh? Fine, okay. I’ll call him, but you owe me a favor. I think I’ll make you clean the bathrooms.”

  Ellis groaned. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

  “Have you done your homework?”

  “Yeah, but I’m still tweaking my Fiction Writing assignment.”

  “You’re too hard on yourself.”

  “Maybe, but I want to get it right.”

  “You will.”

  Mom patted Ellis’s cheek and left the kitchen. Ellis grabbed his phone and texted Dale.

  U already did it?

  He downed the last of his soda as he waited for an answer and all but jumped from his chair when his phone beeped.

  Yes. Bout 1 hour ago.

  Want me 2 call u?

  Later. Dad wants 2 talk in a bit. U?

  Waiting 4 dinner tonight. All the family will b there.

  They’ll b fine with it.

  Hope so.

  Call u later tonight?

  Yeah.

  Later babe.

  Ellis chuckled at the last part of the text and got up. He knew Dale had written it to cheer Ellis up, and it’d worked, marginally at least. He threw his can away and went to his room, hoping he’d find something to distract him until dinnertime. Maybe he could start writing a new story.

  “REMIND ME why I’m here on a Saturday night again?” Damien asked before shoveling more fried chicken in his mouth.

  “Because you love your family more than dancing and drinking,” Dad answered.

  “And possibly bringing girls to your dorm room,” Mom added.

  “Mo-om,” Damien whined, his mouth still half-full. “You can’t talk about stuff like that, especially not at dinner!”

  “Why not? I didn’t say anything bad.”

  “We’ve already been over this. As far as I know, you’re innocent, and I was born by Immaculate Conception.”

  “What about Connor and Ellis?”

  “Same thing.”

  Ellis listened to the familiar banter as he pushed his food around on his plate. Having his entire family around made him feel younger, and it made him want to forget all about coming out. He would’ve if he hadn’t had Dale.

  “El? Are you feeling sick?”

  Ellis looked at his mother and shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

  “You’re sure? I can grab the thermometer and check if you want.”

  Ellis pushed his plate away. “I’m fine. I just need to tell you something.”

  The conversation between Dad, Connor, and Damien quieted almost as soon as the words left Ellis’s lips. He suddenly was at the c
enter of his family’s attention, and he really didn’t like it.

  He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

  “El? Are you in trouble?” Dad asked.

  “No, no. I’m not in trouble. It’s not easy to say this, though.”

  Mom reached out and grabbed Ellis’s hand. “Just say it, then.”

  “I’m… I’m gay.”

  Everyone stayed silent for a few seconds, then Connor snorted. “Is that all?”

  Mom squeezed Ellis’s hand and let go of it.

  “Uh, yes?”

  “Honey, we already knew.”

  “You knew?” Damien asked. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  “Damien, you’d have to be blind not to have noticed how Ellis looked at Dale the other day,” Connor said.

  “More than blind, he’s self-absorbed,” Dad pointed out.

  “Hey! Not true! I just have a lot of stuff to think about.”

  Connor snorted again. “Like what? What brand of beer to drink?”

  “He better not be thinking about that,” Mom said. “He’s only twenty.”

  And just like that, Ellis’s family continued eating their meal as if he hadn’t confessed his heaviest secret. “Wait, wait. You guys all knew?”

  “Except for Damien, but that’s not a surprise,” Connor said with a smirk. He ducked, barely avoiding the bread crust flying his way.

  “But how did you know? It can’t be only the way I looked at Dale.”

  “You never talked about girls,” Mom said.

  “I never talked about guys either.”

  “No, but both your brothers started ogling girls when they were thirteen, maybe fourteen. I’ve never heard you mention anyone but Anna. And you spent an awful lot of time locked away in your room with Matt.”

  “He’s my best friend. They both are.”

  “I thought he was your first boyfriend.”

  “No! We never were together.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  Mom started eating again.

  “Y-you guys don’t mind?”

  “Why should we mind, El? It’s not like it changes who you are,” Dad said with a smile. “You’re still the same smart, sweet kid you were ten minutes ago.”

  “But why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you ask?”

  “We wanted you to take all the time you needed. It’s a big thing, and it was your secret to tell, not ours, even if we already knew.”

  “I didn’t!” Damien yelled over their father’s voice.

  “Self-absorbed,” Connor singsonged.

  “Jerk.”

  “Dumbass.”

  “Boys, behave. Your brother is trying to talk,” Mom admonished them.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Ellis confessed.

  “Did you think we’d take it badly? Is that why you waited so long?” Dad asked gently.

  “I don’t know. Maybe? I knew you weren’t against it or anything, but I thought it might be different if one of your sons was gay.”

  “Hon, you’re still our son, no matter what. You’ll always be. It’s not something we can change or make disappear,” Mom explained.

  “Okay. Okay.” The hard part was over—or what Ellis had thought would be the hard part anyway. He still wasn’t sure what to think of the easy acceptance, but he wasn’t about to discuss it. He still had something to say, though. “There’s something else.”

  “Oh?”

  “I, well, I have a boyfriend. Dale.”

  “Uh. I’ll admit I hadn’t pegged him as gay,” Connor said.

  “What, do we have it stamped on our foreheads or something?” Ellis asked.

  “No, ’cause I’d have known if that was the case,” Damien pointed out.

  “He’s bi.”

  Mom tsked. “Who cares what Dale is? He’s a nice boy, and he makes Ellis happy. Right?” Ellis nodded, and she added, “That’s the important thing. Do you think he’ll want to come for dinner again?”

  Ellis could already see how it would go. He knew his family meant well, but now that they knew about Dale, they’d engulf him completely. They’d actually restrained themselves when he was there for dinner before, but now that he was Ellis’s boyfriend, he was as good as a member of the family, so they wouldn’t anymore. He couldn’t say no, though, and he realized he didn’t really want to. Dale already knew them anyway. “I’ll ask him.”

  “You do that, and let me know when he’s available. And tell him he’s always welcome here. Do you know if he already came out to his family?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know how it went yet. He said he’d call tonight.”

  “Let me know if they didn’t take it well, okay?”

  Warmth flooded Ellis’s chest. He’d come out to his family, and they were fine with it. More than fine, even. They’d accepted it without even thinking about it, as if it were something perfectly normal, and maybe it was.

  It couldn’t have gone better.

  “SO HOW did it go?”

  “Well. Very well.” Ellis had called Dale as soon as he returned to his room. He was glad he had good news to share and hoped Dale’s would be as good. “They already knew. They were just waiting for me to tell them. Well, Damien didn’t have a clue, but he took it well anyway.”

  “You told them about me?”

  “Yes. They’re fine with it. Mom invited you for dinner when you can. What about you? How did it go?”

  Dale sighed heavily. “Dad took it well, like I thought he would, but Mom....”

  “She didn’t.”

  “No. It’s not like she kicked me out or anything, but she’s not happy with it. She said she doesn’t understand, that I’m not the Dale she knows anymore.”

  “That’s good, right? I mean the fact that she didn’t kick you out. Maybe she’ll be fine with it after she has some time to get used to the idea.”

  “I hope so, but I don’t know. Dad told me to give her time, but seeing her react like that, the stuff she said, it’s like it broke something, you know? She made it sound like it was wrong.”

  Ellis wanted to tell him it wasn’t, but would his words have that much weight against Dale’s mother’s? He made what he hoped was a soothing sound instead. “She’ll come around. She’s probably just shocked. You’ve been going out with girls for years. She wasn’t expecting it.”

  Ellis hoped Dale’s mom would get over it, for Dale’s sake. The last thing Ellis wanted was to create a wedge between Dale and his mother and hurt Dale by being with him.

  There was a gentle knock on Ellis’s door. “Wait a sec. Someone’s here.”

  He moved the phone away and covered the speaker with a hand. “Yes?”

  The door opened, and Ellis’s dad poked his head in. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I need to talk to you when you have time.”

  “Oh, okay. Let me say good-bye to Dale, and I’ll come downstairs.”

  “Better talk here. I’ll be outside the door. Just call me when you’re done. Oh, and say hello to Dale.”

  “Sure.”

  Dad closed the door, and Ellis put the phone back to his ear. “Sorry, it was my dad. He says he has to talk to me.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “I think so, yeah.”

  “I’ll leave you to it, then. Text me when you’re done?”

  “Yeah, Dad says to say hello, by the way.”

  “Same here. I’ll call you tomorrow, but let me know what happened, okay?”

  “Yes.” Ellis felt a bit awkward. It was way too soon for I-love-yous, or even for the miss-yous. He couldn’t say it, no matter how much he missed Dale. Still, Ellis wanted to say something that would tell Dale he really cared. He just didn’t know what. “Right. I’ll go, then.”

  Dale chuckled. “Uh-huh.”

  “I, well, I can’t wait to see you again.” Ellis held his breath and prayed he hadn’t gone too far too fast.

  “D
itto.”

  The air whooshed out of Ellis’s lungs. “Yeah, okay. See you soon.”

  “Bye, El.”

  They finally hung up, and Ellis went to the door and opened it. Dad was waiting outside, leaning against the wall. His hands were behind his back, and he looked nervous enough to make Ellis wonder what they had to talk about. “Dad? You can come in.”

  Ellis left him the desk chair and sat on his bed facing it. Dad sat down and put a brown paper bag on the desk only to pick it up again. He didn’t say anything, so Ellis prodded. “Dad?”

  Dad took a deep breath. “So, you have a boyfriend now.”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  Dad wrinkled the brown paper in his hands before opening it. He pushed his hand inside and passed whatever he took out of it to Ellis. Ellis took it and looked at it. Condoms. His dad had bought him condoms.

  Ellis blushed, and he wasn’t the only one. He’d inherited his pale skin from his dad, and it showed at the moment. “Er… thanks?”

  “I want to be sure you’ll be safe. Well, me and your mom want to be sure.”

  “I will. Not that I’ve done anything yet. And I haven’t even thought about it,” he added too quickly.

  “El, I’ve been seventeen. Granted, it was a long time ago, but I know your hormones are all for having sex. If you haven’t already.”

  “I haven’t!”

  “Okay, I believe you. But, you know, sex isn’t only, uh, penetrative. There are different types of sex, and—”

  “God, Dad! Please, I don’t need a sex talk right now. Or ever, really, especially from you. I’ve already had sex ed.”

  “So you know how to put a condom on? Because I can go grab a banana, or a zucchini. I think your mother bought some of those today. I’ll show you how to do it.”

  Ellis could think of very few other things that could mortify him as much as having to watch his dad put a condom on a banana. “It’s not necessary, I swear. I know how to do it.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Look, me and Dale only got together this week. It’s all new, and I’m—we’re not ready for this, so it’s all theory, okay? Not that I’ll tell you when we decide we are, but I already know this stuff.”