When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  “Hello?” As soon as I step inside and I take a deep sigh while I try and work out where to begin, a beautiful soft voice grabs my attention. My body immediately suspects who it might be, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. “I hope it’s okay that I came to see you. I had a job interview just around the corner and I wanted to say hi.”

  I turn slowly, trying to brace myself. I haven’t seen Leah since I heard that she broke up with Patrick, and to be honest I’ve been too busy to think too much about it. Of course, she’s always been there in the back of my mind, she isn’t going anywhere in that respect, but I haven’t made any effort. Yet now, she’s here to see me.

  Leah looks breath-taking as well. Her cropped hair is straightened smartly down the sides of her face, she has a natural looking make up on that really makes her eyes pop, and she’s wearing a white blouse and a smart black pencil skirt. She looks like a damn wet dream come to life right in front of me.

  “Oh, hi, Leah.” I try to keep my tone neutral, but it wavers a bit. “You had a job interview, huh?”

  “Yeah, I did, at the printing factory around the corner. They’re looking for someone to man the phones.”

  “Oh, I see.” I don’t see at all. “But don’t you already have a job? I thought you were in an office…”

  “I was, but I quit because it was a toxic environment. I started to realize that it didn’t excite me anymore and that I want more from my life. I can’t stick around those gossipy bitches forever, it drives me mad.”

  I wonder if she’s partly talking about Patrick as well as she says this. He didn’t excite her, I told her that the first time I saw her again. She didn’t have any spark in her eyes, there wasn’t a fire in her belly, she had been dulled. I don’t think it’s fully back yet, but I can see it creeping up through her and it’s nice.

  “So, printing? That’s your new passion is it? I don’t know if I see it myself…”

  “No, no.” She giggles and shakes her head. “No, that’s just another part time job. I’m actually taking an online college course since I didn’t get to go the first time around.” I wonder if this is because of Brandon and the family’s lack of money. Leah certainly had the smarts to go to college so there must have been something major to stop her. She won’t say that though. “I’m trying to make things better by playing the long game.”

  “Have you decided what you’re going to study?”

  “I have actually.” She smiles to herself, her eyes filling with a happy sparkle. “Creative Writing.”

  “Wow, that’s really something.” I’m a little blown away by this. “That sounds awesome.”

  “I haven’t told Brandon or my mom yet, so please don’t say anything. I don’t know if they’ll understand that I want to do something creative, but I really feel like this might be right for me. I didn’t just make a snap decision, I thought about it for ages, agonizing over my choice, and this is the one I landed on.”

  “I’m sure Brandon will understand…” I start, but will he? He doesn’t really get what I’m doing and I’m not even related to him. He feels responsible for Leah. It’ll be different for her. “In the end, anyway.”

  “Yeah, I hope so. I just want to keep it all to myself for a while until I’m settled, you know?”

  I nod, silently agreeing with her that actually that’s probably the best plan. Once she’s in the middle of her decision, there isn’t anything that anyone can say to take it away from her. Plus, hopefully when they all see how happy she is, they won’t want to. Creative writing might really be the thing to bring her to life.

  “So, the printing job thing is just to keep you going? I hope you get it then.”

  “Actually…” An adorable looking blush fills her cheeks. “They liked me so much that they offered me the job on the spot, and I know they can be pretty adaptable with hours too, so it works for me.” She bites down on her bottom lip making me wish it was my skin beneath her teeth. “So, I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

  My heart stops dead, of course, we will! If I’m here all the time, living and working here, and Leah is working just around the corner, then we’re bound to spend time with one another. In a totally innocent, friendship way that no one can get mad at. It’ll give us a chance to really get to know one another again…

  “You’ll have to come and have your lunch break with me when you are working,” I say with a chuckle. “It gets pretty lonely here working all by myself, no one in the world to talk to…”

  Leah rolls her eyes, knowing that I’m joking about the last part. “I think I will, you know. But I can’t imagine you have time to get lonely here. You’ve got everything that you ever wanted. This is your dream.”

  “Shall I show you around?” I grow excited by the idea of actually showing the place to someone who seems to have nothing but enthusiasm for me. I know most people understand why I’m doing this, but Leah does.

  “Oh, yeah that would be awesome. I’m free for the afternoon now so I have all the time in the world…”

  Her words cause a funny stirring within me. Why has she told me that? She must want me to know that she’s got nowhere to be. Could that possibly be because she wants to spend time with me? I don’t want to push her into anything before she’s ready, but if she wants me… well, who the hell am I to resist? A giant smile spreads across my lips and I feel a stirring in my underwear. Me and Leah can feel like we’re alone here, even if we aren’t. no one can really see us unless they’re trying to. It’s like having our own little world.

  “Come on, then. Let me show you. This, obviously, is the office area, but I do wish that it could be tidier. I guess eventually one day I’ll need to hire a receptionist to sort it out for me…”

  For a brief second, I put Leah in the role in my mind. My brain immediately drags up all sorts of fantasies of us turning this into our private little sex dungeon, but I immediately toss the idea out. Talk about pushing things too quickly! Also, I can’t really afford to pay her at the moment, and it would quickly get very intense.

  “Erm, let me take you out into the yard. I’ll show you what I’ve just been working on.”

  Leah is the right level of impressed as I show her my creation. I can tell that she doesn’t fully get it, not being a biker chick herself, but that doesn’t matter. Her words of praise are like music to my ears. I like her thinking that I’m something worthwhile, especially because she’s seeing the real me, the person who I want to be. She doesn’t care that I’m not out there changing the world, I’m just making my world comfortable and happy.

  It doesn’t take long before I take things up a notch and I invite her up to the apartment to see it. Now it really has become home, I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else in the world. I am happy to give up all the space in the world for here. My parent’s mansion is nothing compared to this.

  “Oh, my goodness. I love it!” Leah declares enthusiastically as she steps inside. “It’s really awesome here. It’s how I want my home to be once I get a place of my own.”

  She hasn’t mentioned Patrick yet, and although I know that I shouldn’t, I can’t help myself. I guess I just want to address it to see if I can get anything from her. Maybe I can get an inkling of what she’s thinking about me. As she takes a look about, I find a seat on the couch, and soon she sits next to me.

  “By yourself?” I ask, innocently enough. “Not with that boyfriend of yours?”

  I watch her expression fall, immediately feeling bad. “Patrick already has a home of his own, but it won’t be one that I’m ever sharing with him.” She breathes out a deep huff. “Since we aren’t together anymore.”

  It’s really hard, but I do what I can to keep my expression neutral. “Oh, that is a shame. Sorry to hear it.”

  “No, you aren’t.” Her temper flares a little, very unexpectedly. “You were the one who told me that I didn’t want to be with him because he bored me. You were the one who made me realize that I want more.”

  Oh… I d
on’t know if she meant to say that, but it came out regardless. The words flew out of her mouth like accusatory bullets and I’ve caught and relished every single one. If I’ve made her do anything, it means my opinion is important to her or she wouldn’t take any notice of me. She really does give a shit.

  “I am sorry that your relationship ended,” I reply coolly. “Even if I didn’t think that it was right for you. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. You don’t deserve that. And I’m also sorry if you blame me. Even if it came off that way, I wasn’t ever trying to be a dick. I just saw that you were flat and that you needed more from life.” I give her a one shouldered shrug. “I suppose I’ve never been great at keeping my opinion inside, that’s all.”

  Leah looks at me suspiciously. She’s breathing heavily, almost as if she has no control over herself anymore. I brace myself, half expecting the worst. Then all of a sudden, she leaps on me…

  Chapter Twenty Three – Leah

  I don’t know what I’m doing here, I don’t know why I came, I just know that I’ve completely lost all control of myself. A big part of me wants to smack some sense into Zane, to make him see that he’s done me wrong in a whole lot of ways, but I can’t. Deep down, I know I didn’t have to come here after my job interview, even to see the place, I wanted to, and that’s because I want to see him. I want to know how Zane is.

  I don’t know if I ever expected to be attacking him with my mouth though, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow, but that’s exactly what’s happening here. I can’t ignore the magnetic pull for even a second longer and although I don’t know if this is the right thing to do, or even if this is how I should be behaving, this is where I am. My lips are pressed up against Zane’s, and all those wonderful feelings from five years ago are back. It’s as if the desire filled part of my life has been pretty much locked away and now it’s running free again. Free and wild, like an animal. I feel like the dragon inside of me has been uncaged, and it feels awesome.

  My life has been missing this. My relationship with Patrick was always missing this. It sucks but it reminds me that I was right to let him go. He can get this with someone else, he deserves passion too.

  “Woah, Leah…” Zane eventually pulls back from me. “What’s going on here?”

  The funny thing is when he stops us for a moment, it doesn’t feel like Zane is killing the mood. He’s giving us a moment to think about this before we do something crazy, but it does nothing to storm the sensations swirling violently throughout my system. If anything, staring up into his eyes makes it so much worse.

  I could make a comment now to force him to tell me what he wants, I know I could. But this time, I don’t want to. I want Zane to know that I want him, and that although I didn’t intend it, I’m here to claim him for me.

  “What does it look like we’re doing?” I reply coyly. “Unless… this is something that you don’t want?”

  I sound confident enough, but I don’t know if I really feel it. Much as I’m sure that he must feel this burning chemistry too, I’m scared that for some reason he might turn me away. I’ll live, I’ve learned to be strong on my own – or at least, I’m learning – but I don’t think that I’ll like it. The words will still hurt.

  “Are you mental?” he growls while nestling into my neck. “Of course, I want this! I’ve wanted this from the moment that I first laid eyes on you again, I’m just nervous that it isn’t right for you. You’re the one who’s only just come out of a relationship, I don’t want to push things too quickly…”

  I slowly slide one finger down his body while giving him a seductive look. “I want this,” I assure him.

  Then, to prove my point I tuck my fingers under the hemline of his filthy tee shirt and I yank it upright. There, I see the most incredible set of abs that I’ve ever laid eyes on. He was strong before, I have the memory of his body from back then etched into my memory, but it seems that working with his hands has done him all kinds of favors. Now, he has the most sculpted body known to man, and he isn’t in the gym every day to get it.

  Once he’s topless, I do the one thing that I wanted to all those years ago, but I didn’t have the confidence to take that bold step back then. I was a shy virgin who didn’t know any better. I might not be the most experienced woman in the world now, but I have the confidence that I need to dip my hand into his trousers and to feel him over his boxer shorts. Immediately, I’m struck by how hard he is. He’s like a steel rod all for me. If I doubted that he wanted me before, then I know for sure that he does now. This is all for me.

  “Oh my,” I murmur as I rub him up and down, feeling all of him. “Oh, Zane, you’re so big…”

  “What you don’t remember?” he replies teasingly, while nibbling my ear very sexily. It’s an oddly sharp sensation that brings all of my electrical sparks to life. “I didn’t think you could forget.”

  I slide my eyes closed and go deeper, braving the inside of his underwear. His cock is burning with a heat, and that’s a heat that’s all for me. My hand feels delicate and small wrapped around him, like he’s the big bad wolf ready to corrupt me. My heart hammers with joy, my breath gets stuck in my throat, I can’t think, only feel…

  As I move my hand up and down his shaft, slowly at first, trying to feel every inch of him, but quicker once his body starts to tremor with bliss, I can feel a wetness pooling in my panties. My body is already more turned on that I’ve been in a very long time and Zane hasn’t even touched me yet. God knows what will happen when he does, I’ll probably explode in a puddle of fireworks. I shift on the chair as I pleasure him, trying to hide how crazy he has me feeling. For the moment, I just want to concentrate on him. His body is a freaking temple and I want to explore every damn inch of it in case something tears us apart once more.

  “Lay back,” he eventually grunts while wrapping his hand around mine to stop me moving. I’m disappointed, but I suppose it’s a good thing because I want to feel him inside of me as well. “I want to see you.”

  Mesmerized by his words, I do as he commands. There is such a dark desire in Zane’s eyes, he’s giving me that look again that brings me back to being a teenager driven only by lust. It feels good to be wanted by him.

  I throw my hands above my head as Zane slowly removes my clothing. He peels off my blouse, taking his time to slowly and tantalizingly unhook each button. Then he pulls me off the couch slightly while he unhooks my bra. My breasts pop free, eager for him, and Zane doesn’t disappoint. He dips his head in towards them and wraps his lips around first my left nipple, then my right, tugging and teasing and giving me an indication for how good the next part will feel. I’m on fire, everything inside of me in buzzing.

  Then, the pencil skirt that I carefully chose this morning because of the professional look that it gives me comes off. As it slides down over the hyper sensitive skin of my thighs, groans and moans fly out of my mouth. My panties are pulsing, my core is screaming out for him, I don’t know how much longer I can keep it all inside.

  Then, Zane kisses me, up against the plain white cotton material of my underwear. He presses his mouth against my slit, sending my head spinning. The feeling is strange, it’s unexpected and there is definitely smoothing in the way, but it makes my hips buck desperately towards his mouth anyway. I keep wanting more.

  “You want me to take these down?” he mutters sexily, breathing intimately over me. “They in the way?”

  “Yes,” I beg in almost a whisper. “Oh God, yes, get them off, please, I cannot stand it.”

  “I don’t remember you being so needy before,” Zane muses, driving me mad. He’s taking his time on purpose, winding me up. I want to yell at him to stop but the words aren’t there. I can’t say anything. My brain has virtually turned into mush. “Then again, I have to admit that I like it.”

  I raise my hips upwards as Zane grabs my butt to help wiggle me out of my underwear. The cool air hits my core hard and makes me raspy and desperate. Zane grabs onto my legs and runs his
hands up towards my center, making my head loll to one side with pleasure. This is the hottest bliss that I’ve ever felt in my life.

  Once Zane reaches the tops of my legs, I expect to feel his hand exploring me. The memory of his velveting fingers from before is raw and real, I can almost feel it again… but his fingers aren’t what connects with me. All of a sudden, I’m shocked by the warm sensation of his hot tongue pressing against my clit.

  “Oh fuck,” I gasp out as a bolt races all the way from my clit to my heart. “Oh fuck, Zane.”

  He massages patterns over my clit, he traces the most incredible feeling letters over me, pushing me rapidly towards the edge of the abyss. I can feel myself falling, almost right away I’m tumbling into pleasure and I freaking love it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt my body opening up like this to another person. It’s intense.

  Zane slides his tongue down me and he plunges it into me, sending a scream flying out. It feels phenomenal, this is better than it’s ever been. Fuck me, there’s no way I could have lived my life without this. I was stupid to think that I could live the steady and dependable life. I need the danger, I need this chemistry, it’s everything.

  Zane grips tightly onto my hips to fix me in place while he explores me with his mouth. I’m grateful because much as I don’t want to go anywhere, it’s hard to remain in place while he’s sending me so insane.

  “Fuck me,” I beg pleadingly the first moment that I can get any words out. “I want you inside me.”