A Beautiful Struggle

by Lilliana Anderson

  He stood and removed his own shirt and jeans, revealing the well-toned body that I knew was under there. Every bit of him was hard, and I mean every bit. My mouth watered just looking at him. I moved to sit, desperately wanting to run my hands down his chest and over his rippling stomach and down to his…

  “Lay back down,” he instructed. Obligingly, I did as he said. He slid his hands along my legs to hook his fingers into my panties and slide them off in one dramatic pull. He flicked them over his shoulder and grinned devilishly at me.

  Kneeling on the floor, he grabbed my legs, dragging them either side of him so his face could fit comfortably between them. I let out my breath, slowly anticipating his mouth on me.

  “Tell me you want me Katrina,” he breathed.

  I didn’t even hesitate, “I want you Elliot. I want you desperately,” I gasped out.

  He let out a moan of his own as he buried his face between my legs, hungrily lapping at my juices and lightly flicking his tongue over my clit causing me to twitch my hips in response.

  “Oh god, I can’t take much more of this!” I called grabbing his head and holding him to me. He sucked at my clit and swirled his tongue, teasing my entrance with his fingers.

  I called out his name, gripping his head tightly between my thighs as I exploded, bucking against him as he drove his fingers inside me, curling them forward to rub that sensitive spot inside. I could feel another orgasm mounting and called to the heavens this time as I exploded once more. He wiped at his mouth and then climbed back on top of me, kissing me deeply so I could taste myself in his mouth.

  He reached over to a bedside drawer and pulled out a condom sitting back as he applied it over his long thick shaft while I watched unabashedly. He crept over me and held his weight, his arms either side of me as he nudged his tip at my entrance, locking my eyes with his, studying me. I lifted my hips to nudge him closer, and he drove himself inside me with one movement. We gasped together at the erotic intensity of being connected so deeply as he moved himself in and out of me in time with my own hips rocking.

  Each time he drove into me, I moaned from the pleasure of it, “Do you think I can get you to come again?” he panted in my ear.

  “Keep going like this and you will,” I gasped out in return.

  His steady rhythm was pushing and pulling at my insides, building my pleasure to the verge of exploding once more. I clenched reflexively.

  “Oh god, I don’t think I can hold on if you keep doing that.”

  “Oh! Just hold on, hold on!” I cried out as I clenched tighter and my orgasm burst through me for a third time.

  He breathed out slowly as he shuddered, I could feel him pulsing inside of me as we collapsed together, gasping for breath, our limbs all tangled up with each other.

  “See - I was right,” I remarked, trailing my fingers up his back. “You are amazing.”

  He lifted his head and smiled brightly at me, “No, you are.” He kissed me again slowly this time, beginning to move inside me once more. I could feel his erection harden inside of me, and I gasped as he slowly ground his hips into mine.

  I wrapped my legs around his middle and pulled him tightly inside me. He lifted me off the bed so that I was sitting on him, rocking with him as I looked into his eyes and could see his passion for me, his wanting of me. This time I didn’t climax, but it was beautiful, sweet and slow.

  He got up and removed his condom, wrapping it in a tissue and dropping it in the bin in the adjoining bathroom. I couldn’t keep my eyes off his body and watched him shamelessly as he moved back towards the bed. Putting his arm around my waist, he dragged me towards him, wrapping himself around me, nuzzling my neck.

  “Sleep, beautiful,” he muttered against my skin. I wriggled to get comfortable, feeling safe in this cocoon that his body had created around me as I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter 13

  I was pulled from my sleep by the sound of my phone ringing, the caller ID revealing it to be my mother. “Shit,” I said to myself, realising I forgot to call her last night to tell her I wasn’t going home.

  I cleared the sleepiness from my throat and answered quietly, trying not to disturb Elliot, still sleeping, beside me. “Are you out training already?” my mother asked immediately.

  I felt relieved that she hadn’t realised I didn’t come home and was about to go along, when I realised I’d have to go home in my dress and heels later. Elliot stirred, opening one eye, sleepily watching me. I smoothed my hand all the way down his still naked body as I got up from the bed.

  “Uh hi mum, no I’m not training.” I picked up the dress I had been wearing last night and quickly tugged it on, signalling to Elliot that I was going to go into the lounge room to talk to my mother.

  “Well where are you? It’s six o’clock in the morning, and your car’s not here.” She gasped as she realised what was going on, “You didn’t even come home last night did you?”

  “No, mum, I’m um… with Elliot,” I admitted as I sat down on the brown leather L shaped couch and tucked my feet under my body.

  Suddenly, her whole demeanour changed, and I could hear the smile in her voice, “Oh my goodness! Was it wonderful? Kathy showed me his photo yesterday, and he is so attractive,” she gushed.

  “Mum!”

  “What?”

  “I’m not going to tell you that stuff,” I spoke quietly into the phone, not wanting Elliot to overhear.

  “Sorry, it’s just a bit exciting isn’t it?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “I’ll talk to you when you get home then, you are coming home aren’t you?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I'll call you later to let you know though.”

  “Alright, just make sure you tell me this time ok? I got a bit of a shock this morning when I woke up, and you weren’t here.”

  “I’m sorry for worrying you mum.”

  “That’s ok sweetheart, have a good time.”

  We disconnected, and I smiled at my phone thinking about my mum and her love of romance.

  I got up and walked into the small kitchen to grab a glass of water. Feeling surprised at how tidy it was considering Elliot lived on his own. There wasn’t even a cup in the sink.

  Elliot’s hands snaked around my waist as I stood facing the sink drinking my water; he kissed my neck and asked, “Everything ok?”

  Setting down my glass, I turned towards him, kissing him back softly. He'd put a pair of cotton pyjama pants on and left his glorious chest bare. I ran my hand over the firmness of his pecs, “Mmmm, yeah, everything’s fine. I just forgot to tell my parents that I wouldn’t be home last night, so my mum was worried.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He’s probably still asleep at this time.” Elliot reached up to my face and smoothed my hair back behind my ears, gently caressing my skin with his thumbs. I closed my eyes, loving the feel of him, loving that I was finally alone with him, not having to worry if anyone could see us.

  He reached down and opened the cupboard under the sink and took a new chux dishcloth out of the packet. I watched him curiously as he wet it and rubbed some hand soap into it from the dispenser he had on the window.

  He then came back over to me and ever so gently started to wipe it over my face, my eyes went wide as I realised what I must look like having slept in my makeup from last night. “Oh god, I must look a fright!” I exclaimed, trying to take the cloth from him.

  He moved it out of my reach, “No you look beautiful,” he said kissing me quickly on the mouth, “You just don’t need to wear this stuff.” Every so gently, he continued to clean off my makeup. Obligingly, I closed my eyes as he ran the cloth over my skin.

  “Keep them closed,” his voice was just above a whisper. I could hear him rinse the cloth to wash the soap out of it before he used it to wipe over my eyes again. “Open,” I lifted my lids, blinking rapidly until they felt normal. I watched his face as he studied mine, and gently wiped the mascara from under my eyes.
There was something incredibly sensual about what he was doing to me. I was finding it hard to breathe from the surge of emotion I was feeling.

  I knew at this moment that the slow part of our relationship was over; I was willing to let go of the fear from my past and move forward with this man who was so strong, yet so gentle at the same time.

  “There,” he said when he was done. “Perfect.” He brushed his knuckles along my cheek, and I caught his hand with mine, pressing a kiss to his palm.

  He pulled me to him and kissed me, our tongues moving together as we moaned into each other’s mouth pressing our bodies into each other.

  His hands roamed down my back, and towards my buttocks where he grabbed me and hoisted me up onto the kitchen bench. Smiling into our kiss, he slid my dress up above my still naked hips. I parted my legs further as he released his erection, circling himself at my entrance and moaning because I was already tremendously wet.

  When he started to push inside me, I thought fleetingly of a condom, although in that moment, I didn’t care, I wanted to feel him inside me, just him and nothing else between us.

  I gasped as his silken shaft slid deep inside of me, thrusting back and forth, igniting my body with a fire that felt ready to consume my senses. All there was, was him and me and I didn’t think I could ever be around him without touching him again.

  I wrapped my legs around him tightly, pulling him into me as he climaxed first, pulsing his juices deep inside of me. He continued to move until he was sure that I had climaxed too. It was obvious when I did because my legs gripped his waist like a vice, and I lifted myself off the bench top calling out his name.

  He set me back down and left us connected, looking at me suddenly stricken, “I…I’m sorry. That's the first time I have ever done that… I don’t know what came over me. I should have checked it was ok first,” he babbled.

  I was surprised by his reaction, “You’ve never had sex without a condom?”

  “Never,” he answered seriously.

  “Well I guess that means you’ve got the all clear then? Health wise, I mean,” I asked carefully, not really wanting to ask the difficult question but knowing how important it was for both of us to be STD free.

  “Yes, I’m clear – what about you?”

  “I, uh, got tested in the hospital – just to be sure, so yeah, I’m all clear. And um…I get Depo injections every six months; so I can’t get pregnant,” I assured him feeling awkward but glad the air was clear.

  “Oh good,” he breathed out his relief, kissing me again. “I don’t know what it is about you; I just keep doing things that aren’t normal for me.” He withdrew from me, and I felt the warm gush of his semen run out of me. He looked at it and then looked at me like he didn’t know what to do, this really was the first time he had had sex without a condom.

  I told him to rinse the cloth again to clean us up. Waiting, while he insisted on doing it for both of us. When he finished, he lifted me back up from the bench top and set me on the floor before he dropped the chux into the garbage bin.

  “Breakfast?” he asked me.

  I nodded my agreement, and he pulled out a chair for me to sit on at the small wooden table that sat in the corner of the kitchen and only seated two. I moved over to it and sat down watching him move around the kitchen preparing toast and eggs with orange juice and coffee.

  When my phone beeped that it had a message, I jumped up and retrieved it from the coffee table, where I had left it after speaking to my mother.

  Not surprisingly the message was from David – Went by ur house but ur mum said u were out. So sorry about last night, I am an idiot.

  I couldn’t be angry at David because if he hadn’t disappeared, then I wouldn’t have just had the most intense sexual experience of my life so far.

  I typed back - Don’t worry about it, just glad ur safe. Was worried.

  He messaged straight back, Where r u? Can we talk?

  Typing again I answered, With Elliot in city still. Talk tomorrow?

  I sat there looking at my phone waiting for it to beep again and was disappointed when it didn’t. Elliot moved into my field of vision as he sat our breakfast dishes on the table.

  “Everything ok?” he asked me for the second time that morning.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just David this time - saying sorry for ditching me last night.” I moved back over to the table and sat down with Elliot, “This looks great.” I told him, starting to dig in.

  “I think I’ll have to thank David for ditching you last night. I would have had to settle for dreaming about you last night instead of getting to spend time with the real thing.”

  I blushed a little, “You wouldn’t have had to wait long. I was supposed to come to dinner tonight remember.”

  “I do remember,” he said. “Do you still want to do that? Or do you have to get home?”

  “I think I would still like to do that, if that’s alright with you of course. Not sick of me yet?”

  He leaned over and kissed me, “Um let me think - a beautiful woman who rocks my world and can talk sports with me; hmmm, no, I can’t see myself getting sick of you any time soon.” He had finished his eggs and took his plate to the sink leaning against it as he spoke to me, “I planned on going to the shops to get food for dinner tonight though if you don’t mind coming along?”

  “Sure, you wouldn’t happen to have some women’s clothes laying around would you? I don’t really want to go out looking like I just stepped out of a club.”

  “I’ll give you a shirt to wear over your dress if you like. Will that do?”

  “That will be fine, thanks.” I smiled, downing the last of my coffee. I stood up with my dishes and he moved towards me to take them, placing them in the sink.

  He was a good ten centimetres taller than me in bare feet, and he leaned down to kiss me again, “But first, will you shower with me?”

  I raised my eyebrows at him, and my eyes drifted to his chest. “You mean, I get to rub soap all over your body?” I asked tracing my fingers along the grooves between his muscles.

  “I was thinking the same thing about you,” he growled at me before he swooped me up and carried me laughing to the shower.

  Chapter 14

  We didn’t end up making it out of the house to buy supplies for dinner, instead we spent the day exploring each other’s bodies and minds – touching, tasting, whispering and, moaning together.

  By the time our stomachs growled it was six o’clock, so we rummaged through his kitchen, deciding on fish finger sandwiches, topped off with a can of coke.

  “I’m sorry this isn’t a nicer dinner,” he said to me as we ate quietly.

  “Don’t be,” I nudged into him. “It’s perfect.” We locked eyes for a moment, completely engrossed by the pull our bodies seemed to emit around each other. He edged his chair closer to mine, lifting my leg so it was resting across his lap. With light fingertips, he ran his hand up and down it, giving me goose bumps all over.

  “Will you stay again tonight?” he asked me in a husky voice.

  “I would love to, you don’t know how much I want to - but I should be getting home,” I told him, registering the disappointment in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just think my father would kill me if I came home tomorrow in the clothes I went out in on Friday night.”

  He nodded his understanding, “I drive you home after this then.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do that, it’s too far. Just drop me off at the train station, I have to get my car anyway.”

  “Well then, I will drive you to your car,” he insisted.

  On the drive home something changed between us, the bubble we had been in while I was at his house had burst, and the real world had begun to seep through with its glaring reality.

  For the next, I didn’t know how long; I wasn’t allowed to be openly affectionate with him. I wasn’t allowed to touch him, to flirt with him, to give him meaningful looks. I felt a sense of loss as I sat there watching the scene
ry go by while the car brought us closer to the end of that perfect time together.

  “You’re very quiet,” Elliot observed.

  “Maybe I should just quit,” I blurted out.

  He glanced at me before setting his eyes back on the road, giving me a humourless smile, “Quit what? Work? I would never expect you to do that. Besides, it wouldn’t matter, even if you did.”

  “What do you mean it wouldn’t matter? If I’m not working there, then the ‘no dating’ policy shouldn’t matter.”

  “I read over it; it says that you can’t date a recent employee either. So it really doesn’t matter.” He glanced at me again and took my hand in his, resting them both on his leg as he drove. “We’ll be ok. We just have to stay away from each other at the office so no one notices any change in our interactions.” He glanced my way again, making sure I was in agreement. “Listen, how about, we skip drinks on Friday and go to my place instead?”

  “What about your schmoozing time with the partners?”

  “I think I can take one night off from that,” he reasoned, giving my hand a light squeeze.

  After agreeing to see him again the next Friday night, I felt more optimistic. A plan was in place so at the very least, we would continue our relationship. Although, I still couldn’t help but feel that we’d never move beyond what we were at that point – a secret.

  If I wasn’t so hopelessly enamoured with Elliot, keeping things a secret probably wouldn’t have bothered me. Normally, when I was apart from someone I was dating, it was kind of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ for me. With Elliot, it was different. Everything about him set my senses alive and since first meeting him, I had thought about him constantly. It was going to be a struggle for me to pretend there was nothing going on between us when all I ever wanted to do around Elliot, was jump into his arms.