The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

  “I want to, but I’m supposed to go shopping with Nat tomorrow and I have work after…” My sentence trails off as I run out of excuses.

  “I’ll take you. Problem solved.”

  I nervously scratch the back of my neck unsure of how to proceed. Natalia doesn’t know yet and I sure as shit just can’t have Chase drop me off in front of her without her feeling left out of the loop. I already have one angry friend. I really don’t need another.

  “Okay.” Chase sighs. “Tell me what’s going through your head right now, beautiful.”

  I blow out a deep breath. Am I that easy to read?

  “I haven’t told Natalia yet…or Sam, not that she’s talking to me anyway, but still. I just…I don’t know.” I sigh. “They are the only friends I have here; besides you and Arthur…I just really don’t want them to feel like I left them out or something, you know?” I look at him sheepishly hoping he understands.

  “Who’s Arthur?”

  I groan and pinch the bridge of nose. Out of everything I just said, that of course, would be the only thing he hears.

  “Did you even listen to anything I just said, Chase?” I ask incredulously. The frown line on his forehead deepens as he tries to reign in his jealousy. I roll my eyes and decide to put him out of his misery.

  “Arthur is an old man that lives down my street. We have brunch on my days off.” I smile slyly. I watch his forehead smooth and he visibly relaxes. I give him a knowing look that says jealous much?

  “And yes, I heard you. If you aren’t ready to tell them, I’ll just drop you off where she can’t see. No big deal.” I can tell he really wants me to stay and I’m not one to make people beg, so I acquiesce.

  “Fine,” I sigh dramatically. “I guess I can handle another night with you.” I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Chases eyes narrow and his lip twitches. He definitely knows what game I’m playing. He raises his brows and purses his lips thoughtfully.

  “Is that right, Ms. Anderson?” He says playfully. My tummy is doing crazy things right now and I can’t control the smile that spreads across my face.

  “Oh yes, Mr. Roland,” I challenge.

  Chase gets this playful glint in his eye that makes me wary. Oh no, what is he going to do?

  I take a few steps back and squint at him in question.

  Chase takes small predatory steps toward me. “You’re going to pay for that.”

  His smile is wicked and my heart starts racing against my rib cage. I turn, making a run for it. I don’t get farther than a few steps before I’m hauled over Chase’s shoulder like a rag doll. I squeal as the room spins, and snicker endlessly as he trudges through the house with me over his shoulder. From this position, I have a great view of his ass in his sweats. I pinch his butt cheek, giggling like a schoolgirl. Chase playfully swats my ass making me gasp, and heat floods my body. He takes quick strides down the hall to his bedroom.

  Once inside, he tosses me on the bed and crawls over me propping himself on his forearms to hold his weight above me. I’m still panting from my laughing and the spanking I just received. I stare into his hypnotizing blues and feel the intensity of his eyes penetrate deep into my soul. The way he stares at me makes my heart beat faster.

  When people say, eyes are the windows to the soul; I totally get it now. Chase stares at me so intently and studiously. I can literally feel his eyes searching for my soul. I feel him everywhere when he looks at me. I’m addicted. I reach my hand up and caress the light stubble along his incredible jawline. The contours of his face are so ruggedly beautiful. He has a jawline so sharp I could cut myself, his full lips contrast with the perfect ratios of his facial features. It’s like he was created and sculpted by an expert—an artist. He’s the epitome of beauty.

  Chase leans his face into my hand and my heart warms at the gesture. “I like it when you look at me,” I whisper as my fingers trace along his full lips. He lightly nips the pad of my forefinger and I yelp.

  “Good, because I like looking at you,” he admits, angling his head over mine. His lips caress mine softly. He tastes of mint, and his cool breath wisps across my mouth. I want more. Need it. Sliding my hands along his muscular biceps I pull him closer, urging him for more. Our tongues tangle heatedly with our kiss. My whole-body tingles and I can feel the pulsing begin down where I need him most. Chase pulls away slightly, breaking the kiss and rests his forehead against mine as he tries to catch his breath.

  “I didn’t keep my word.” His voice is gravelly and I’m so hot and bothered by the kiss I don’t even understand what he’s saying.

  “What word?” I pant out between breaths. He pushes himself up off his forearms and onto his hands into a pushup position. I stare at him with a curious expression waiting for him to go on. His sexy smirk appears and he leans forward to whisper in my ear.

  “I told you I would make you pay, beautiful girl. I intend to follow through.” His breath tickles my neck and ear, causing a shiver to roll through me. I close my eyes and bite my lip in anticipation. Heat floods my core and I’m unable to stop squirming. Electric waves thrum through my veins. When I open my eyes, Chase is staring at me with a devious grin, and I know I want nothing more than to be on the end of his so-called punishment.

  “Do your worst,” I faintly whisper.

  His eyes dilate and the blue orbs become brighter somehow. He crashes his mouth down over mine eliciting a deep guttural moan. Chase proceeds to make me pay with his sexual form of punishment the rest of the night–over and over again.

  ***

  “I’ll see you after my shift?” I question Chase before I get out of his car to meet up with Natalia. Chase nods his head and pulls me in for the sweetest goodbye kiss. It takes everything in me to hop out of the car and not in his backseat where we can go a few rounds with each other. I swear this man has made my sex drive increase to unreasonable heights. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much sex in my whole life. Granted, I’ve only been with one other guy besides Chase, but still.

  We’ve had the talk about protection and birth control. He’s assured me he has a clean bill of health and I assured him I’m clean as well as on the pill.

  My cell chirps and a text from Natalia pops up. “Where r u?”

  I type as I walk through the mall unsure of where to go. My phone pings in my hand before I finish and I swipe across the screen to read Natalia’s next message.

  “H&M. I have a surprise for you. Don’t be mad pls.”

  I frown at her message, but shrug with a shake of my head and head off in that direction. I walk inside H&M and find Natalia immediately. My pace quickens once I spot her, then slows just as quickly as I get closer to her and see her other shopping companion.

  Oh no. This is not good. Not good at all.

  I brace myself for whatever is coming next.

  “What the actual fuck, Natalia!” Sam shouts accusingly at her. Her voice echoes throughout the store as people curiously stare at us. Sam glares daggers at me, and then back at Natalia, unsure of who she is more pissed at in this moment. Natalia just rolls her eyes and walks over to me locking her arm with mine.

  “She’s not as mad as she’s pretending to be,” she whispers in my ear as if it would make this situation any better. I glance at Sam and decide I don’t believe a word Natalia is saying. Sam looks downright pissed that I’m here. Every step closer I get to her I feel the atmosphere thicken immensely. Instead of love being in the air, all I can feel is the hate. “Okaaay,” Natalia says cheerily with a clasp of her hands in front of her. “You two need to fix this stupid ass problem. Now,” she says in a demanding tone playing mediator. Natalia turns to Sam and points her finger sternly in her direction. “Sam, quit acting like a damn baby and let’s get some shopping done amicably. Sound doable to you? Good. I thought so,” Natalia says snarkily, leaving no room for Sam to argue. Natalia pivots to me with that same stern finger. “And you just ignore her bitchy attitude; and pulling away into quiet Aliza land is
a no go today, got it?”

  I speechlessly nod my head in agreement. Natalia sighs in relief as she leads the way for a day of awkward shopping.

  For the most part, our shopping day isn’t so bad. Sam avoids me at all costs while Natalia just pretends like there’s nothing wrong in the first place. I wander away from Natalia and Sam when a cute two piece short and top set catches my eye. The outfit has a bohemian vibe to it and I’m instantly in love. I run my hand over it as I feel the material.

  “That’s hella cute!” Natalia says from behind me causing me to jump. She searches through the rack and grabs the size to her liking, then places the hanger in my hand.

  “Here. Try that on. It’s an extra small,” she says with a happy smile as she pushes me towards the dressing rooms. I roll my eyes and wait for the attendant to set me up with a dressing room so I can try the outfit on. It fits perfectly. And I’m in love.

  The cropped shorts are skin tight and they make me look like I actually have curves to show off, the top does exactly the same. The outfit fits like a glove, accentuating my tiny waist, and showing off my slender legs.

  I’ve been teased my whole life for being skinny, I was constantly accused of being anorexic, or berated for looking sickly. It’s still hard for me to appreciate my body, but in this outfit, it’s a little easier. I turn this way and that as I get a good look at myself in the outfit. The white really contrasts with the blue bringing out the pale-yellow blonde in my hair and making the blue of my eyes look brighter than usual. I smile; satisfied with how it looks.

  I take everything off carefully and put them back on the hanger. I briefly look back in the mirror and stare at myself in just my bra and underwear, then at my face momentarily. I’m surprised by what I see. My eyes are a powder blue, but most days you can’t tell with all the bags under my eyes. Not today, they look bright and expressive. My complexion is starting bronze up thanks to the sun here. My hair falls in loose waves down my back, and I suddenly come to the realization that just a few months ago, I looked nothing like I do right now. The girl standing in front of the mirror looks nearly identical to the old Aliza, but the scars on the inside still haunt me every day.

  My eyes train on the scar that rests just above my panty line. I lightly trace the thin silvery line and watch my finger move across it in the mirror in wonder. Images of a sweet, little blonde girl fills my head. My chest tightens, and tears spring to my eyes.

  The dressing room door is swung open and Sam suddenly flies through prompting me to shriek in surprise. I stand completely frozen in shock, suddenly immobile.

  “Oh, Sorry,” Sam says with no remorse. “I thought you’d be dressed by now.”

  I watch in horror as her eyes drop down—to the scar I haven’t managed to hide. Her brows draw together in confusion and I watch as the realization dawns on her features. Her gaze quickly snaps to mine. Her eyes are wide, from the shock no doubt. I quickly look away, unable to let her see the truth written all over my features.

  “Aliza, I...” She croaks then clears her throat as she tries to regain some composure.

  I raise my hand to stop her. “Please. I just…can’t.” I plead now, close to tears. She slowly nods her head as she starts to retreat and closes the door behind her silently. I rest my back against the wall and slide down against the mirror of the dressing room. Resting my head against the wall I close my eyes tightly.

  I hate this. The reminder of everything I’ve lost; everything that’s been taken from me. I hear movement near the dressing room door again, and open my eyes. Sam walks back inside timidly. Her hands are wringing in front of her nervously and she cautiously squats in front of me. All the anger that I’ve seen mirrored at me through her eyes is no longer there. Instead all I see is her sympathy. It makes me want to burst into tears but I don’t. I can’t. Sam roughly tugs me in her embrace, and I hold back my tears. The hug is short and sweet. She quickly let’s go then leaves the dressing room without a word or another glance my way. I give myself a few moments to pull myself back together.

  No more set-backs, Aliza, I tell myself over and over.

  I dress quickly while gathering all my stuff before heading back out to the girls. Sam and Natalia are near the cash register having a heated discussion from the looks of it. My heart drops instantly.

  Is she telling her? Are they talking about me?

  I walk up to them cautiously, unsure of what to expect. Natalia hears my approach and turns to me looking irritated from her discussion with Sam.

  “So, did it fit? I told Sam to bring you another outfit that I thought would look good on you but she said you didn’t like it.” I quickly look at Sam and she’s looking everywhere except me. I see her look out of the corner of her eye, and I know right then that she hasn’t said a word. I turn back to Natalia with a relived smile on my face.

  “Yeah,” I blow out a breath. “I’m definitely gonna get it. The other one you suggested didn’t look good on me,” I lie through my teeth. Natalia waves me off like that’s impossible and proceeds to show me everything she found for herself. I’m only half listening though. I can’t help but wonder why Sam didn’t say anything. They’re best friends—practically sisters. I would never expect her to hold her tongue.

  I regard Sam again for the hundredth time, expecting to see the answer written across her forehead. She must sense my stare because she meets my gaze and gives me a small smile with a reassuring head nod. The weight on my chest eases at the fact that she’s no longer angry with me. The rest of our shopping day is immensely better than when it began.

  Me and the girls are walking out into the parking lot of the mall when I decide it’s time to spill the beans.

  Now or never, Aliza, I tell myself.

  “So, I have some news…” I trail off as we walk through the parking lot. Sam and Natalia look at each other curiously then back to me. I take a deep breath and force everything out in one long breath.

  “Chase and I are seeing each other. One night he drove me home and we slept together, so now we’re taking things slow to see where this goes because we really like each other. And he’s picking me up today.” I suck in a deep breath after I get all that out. Sam and Natalia are frozen in place with wide eyes. I bite my lip, just waiting for them to yell how stupid I’m being. But surprisingly that never comes.

  “Wow. That’s…wow, Aliza,” Natalia says through her shocked state. “If he makes you happy then I’m all for this. I see the way you look at each other; it was bound to happen sooner or later,” she says with zero judgement as she pulls me into a hug.

  “You seriously gotta slow down when you talk, Ohio,” Sam chides. “Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming but Natalia’s right, if he makes you happy then I’m all for it. How’s the sex by the way?” Sam waggles her brows while making crude gestures. Natalia and I laugh hysterically.

  “So?” Natalia prods through her giggling. I roll my eyes and feel myself blush as I think about sex with Chase.

  “Fuck. That good huh?” Sam says with raised brows. I nod my head and release my lip.

  “He’s the best I’ve ever had.” I admit feeling my face turn beet red. “Not that I have much experience because I’ve only slept with one other guy but still, I just…I don’t know, guys. It’s so different with him he makes me feel special. He can easily make me smile, laugh, and put all my insecurities to rest.”

  “That my dear, is called love,” Natalia explains.

  “I think she means good dick.” Sam chimes in. My eyes widen and my mouth falls open. I scoff.

  “Love? No, no way…there’s just no way. I haven’t even known him for that long. It’s… there’s… no.” I sputter feeling my heart beat like crazy in my chest.

  Nope. No way, it’s too soon.

  “Mm-hmm, whatever you say Ohio,” Sam says with a clear look of disbelief. Just then my phone pings in my pocket and I pull it out feeling my heart flutter when his name flashes across my screen.

  I smile down at h
is message like a complete weirdo. It’s a simple message ending with beautiful. The endearment he uses to describe me never fails to make me smile.

  “Let me guess, that’s Chase?” Natalia questions with a smile. I nod my head guiltily.

  “I sort of sent him a text when we were getting ready to leave so he could pick me up. I slept at his place last night, so he was the one that dropped me off earlier too,” I admit coyly.

  Just then Chase pulls up to the curb and all eyes follow his Range Rover as he parks a few feet away from where we’re standing.

  “Give me a minute,” Sam says as she walks toward him. I look at Natalia questioningly and she just shrugs her shoulders like she has no clue.

  “I’ll see you at work later?” Natalia asks as she pulls me in for a hug.

  “Of course.” I pull back with a smile.

  I walk toward Chase’s SUV frowning at the back of Sam’s head. I can’t see anything because she’s blocking my view. Suddenly, Sam’s drumming her hands on the windowsill, and spinning around striding toward me. My steps falter as she makes a bee line toward me. I’m roughly pulled into a brief hug that only Samantha can give. Pulling back, she walks away toward Natalia without another word.

  My brow creases with a frown and I wave to them both as I get in the car. Within seconds, Chase is shifting across the console and pulling my face into his hand. His lips softly graze mine, and the tip of my lips tingle. A shiver runs through my body, and he pulls back, resting his forehead against mine. He blows out a sigh, and I breathe him in.

  “I missed you.” His voice is low and gravelly, like it was hard for him to admit that to me. I pull back slightly and search his eyes. They tell me the truth, they always do. He looks vulnerable, and it only makes him hotter in my book.

  “I missed you, too.” I smile shyly and that crease in his cheek makes an appearance. If this was an old southern movie, I might’ve actually swooned.

  “What did Sam say to you, anyway?” I ask on our way to his house. I had completely forgotten about it until now. Chase shakes his head and chuckles.