This Broken Beautiful Thing

by Summers, Sophie

  Caleb bends down so that he is eye level with Willow. We’ve moved out of the line by this point and Brent has already gotten our cold drinks. Willow smiles at Caleb and Caleb puts his large hand out to shake her tiny one. “What is your name baby girl?”

  She puts her hand on her hip again and says with as much attitude that she can muster, “I don’t know why everyone calls me that, even Jacey and Hunt Hunt, I’m not a baby. My names Willow.” Then she lifts her hand and shakes his big one with much determination.

  I watch as Caleb looks at her then up at me as he repeats, “Willow…” as if realization hits him, his eyes get all watery and I notice him swallow then he says with a ruff voice.

  “Well Willow, I’m Caleb and it’s very nice to meet you.” Caleb says smiling at me.

  “Here Pillow I bought you an ice-cream I know how much your momma loves cleaning you up after you get chocolate everywhere.” Brent chuckles and picks her up and throws her upside down and she giggles in his arms as they walk away. I pick up the teddy that she dropped just as Ashley opens her mouth

  “She’s so beautiful Harley, you did such a good job.” Ashley says coming in for a hug but I push her away.

  “This whole little…ah… reunion was...nice, but I’d really like to spend the rest of my day with my daughter.” I move past them but Caleb’s strong arm stops me around my waist then pulls me against his hard chest.

  “Whose is she? How old is she Harley?” he whispers in a serious tone.

  I look back and forth between the two of them, Ashley has an ashamed look on her face and her eyes can’t meet neither Caleb’s nor mine. I push away from Caleb.

  I laugh and shake my head. “You know exactly whose she is. Don’t come and play stupid with me Caleb. How old do you think she is? That night I caught you two together? I was just over three months, so yeah…you do the math. Beside, you should know all of this? Why are you acting like this is all news? Your girlfriend here…” I give Ashley a pointed look, “… told me you didn’t want Willow. I can understand the fact that you wouldn’t want me in your life but your own daughter? Really Caleb? I never expected that from you…but then again I didn’t expect the cheating either. Even though you two were together I still would have liked her to have a father around and I would have dealt with the fact that my ex was with my best friend or ex best friend…whatever. Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask Caleb , he looks like he may pass out and I’m confused as to why he looks so shocked.

  “What did you tell her?” he roars at Ashley, she looks back and forth between him and I. I notice various people watching us now. I’ve never seen Caleb this mad before. His knuckles are clasped and I see his jaw pulsing.

  “I…I…I don’t know why I said that baby. I promise if we just leave now I’ll make it up to you later.” Ashley says in a flirty tone and I don’t want to hear how and what making up to him later entails. My heart clenches at the fact that they’re hooking up because even though I shouldn’t, I still think of Caleb as mine. It’s gotten a lot more crowded now and while they’re now talking to each other I slip away to find Brent.

  Walking up to Brent, I notice Willows face is covered in chocolate but she’s fast asleep on his lap.

  “I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t of come looking for you but she was so excited about her teddy.” Brent says looking upset.

  “No it’s cool, don’t apologize, I’m tired of hiding away and we were bound to run into them sooner or later.” I say getting the baby wipes out the bag and gently wipe Willows little face careful not to wake her.

  “Harley…I know I said I wouldn’t ask questions but I can’t keep this in any longer. Why did you keep her from him? You know how much he wanted to be with you and you know he would have been there for you regardless if you didn’t want him there.” Brent says in a more serious tone than I’m used to.

  “Are you kidding me Brent? He knew about her! He knew I was pregnant but he still chose Ashley over us. I…I think it’s time I take her home, it’s been a long day ….for all of us.” I say putting Willows new teddy in her bag.

  “What? No he didn’t know…or at least I didn’t think he did. He hates her Harley…they aren’t even-” I interrupt him.

  “Brent I’m done with this conversation, please can we just leave it?” I ask impatiently, he sighs as he picks up Willow and we leave the park.

  CHAPTER 21

  After Willow was bathed and dressed I start on dinner. I placed my phone on silent because I couldn’t bear to deal with anyone else after the day I had. After letting the dough stand for the homemade pizzas I was making, I decided to grate some cheese and get the toppings ready. Willow was sitting on the carpet in front of the TV watching the cartoons.

  I don’t hear a knock at the door, instead I hear the keys in the lock before Jace walks in and immediately picks up Willow. After greeting her and putting her back down on the ground she instantly goes back to watching her movie.

  “Hey babe.” He says pulling me in for a hug.

  I haven’t seen Jace the past few weeks, he’s been on some job a few hours away.

  “Hey, how have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while.” I say finally moving out of his arms and heading over to the fridge to pour him something to drink.

  “I know. I’ve missed you guys. You miss me baby girl?” He calls out to Willow.

  “Don’t call me that. I told C…Caleb I’m not a baby anymore.” She says trying to remember his name.

  I watch as she turns her attention back to the TV and Jace snaps his head back to me as he speaks slowly.

  “What did she just say?” he asks seriously.

  “We bumped into Caleb today. It was awkward, he was with Ashley and when he asked about Willow it sounded like he never knew about her.” I said placing dishes into the dish washer.

  “We’ll have a word about this later.” He says looking back at Willow as she lies on the floor on her tummy and head resting on her hands looking up to the TV.

  After Willow has eaten her supper she went and sat on Jace’s lap in the lounge. Jace handles her so gently and I know one day he will make a great father. The relationship between Jace and I has been strained since the night I gave birth to her but we don’t let that affect his relationship with her.

  She rests her head on his chest and Jace cradles her in his arms, it makes my heart melt at how caring he is. He looks up to me and smiles and I return it. After cleaning all the dishes and showering, I come back to an empty lounge. I walk to Willows room just in time to see him tuck a sleeping Willow in bed.

  I watch as he sits on the corner of her little bed and moves the hair out of her face. He sits for a few extra seconds then kisses her forehead , I leave before he catches me staring and I start putting away all the clean dishes, some are still wet from my faulty cheap dishwasher so I place them on the table and rack to dry.

  As I just about close the dishwasher door with my foot I squeal as I’m being lifted in the air and placed on the kitchen counter. I squirm as the top of my bare thighs touch the cold counter, I’m wearing pajama shorts and a strappy top. As I try lift my ass to get off the counter Jace positions himself between my legs and places his rough hands on top of my upper thighs.

  Even after all that Jace has put me through I know my body still reacts to his touch due to the fact that I’m unquestionably attracted to him.

  “Let’s talk.” He says looking down at me.

  “What do you want to talk about Jace and why do I have to sit here?” I say raising an eyebrow.

  “You know what about and because I can keep you here without you doing that running act of yours you do when you don’t feel comfortable.” He says grinning at me.

  “Jace…what do you want to know? I saw Caleb, he asked about her and I told him. Just like I told Brent today, I’m done hiding away from them. I want Willow to see all the beautiful things out there. You should have seen her today at the park, she was so inquisitive and her eyes couldn’t stop
moving over everything. Apart from the club crowd and the quiet park by the pond, I never take her anywhere around here because I was too afraid of walking into any of them.” I say looking down at his chest.

  “Brent? You went with him today? What was it? Like a date?” he says raising his eyebrow and losing the grin he had on before I mentioned Brent’s name.

  “Yes I went with him and no it wasn’t a date. Why are you looking at me like that? Are you mad?” I ask him watching as he tightens his hands on my upper thighs to the point where it hurts.

  He shakes his head and looks down at my hands on my lap, then he lifts my one hand to his lips and kisses it, keeping his eyes on me the entire time. This makes me blush and look away from him.

  “Baby when it comes to my girls and other guys, I never like it. Even though I know you and Willow are no longer mine. My heart and my head tell me otherwise and I want to be the only man in your life. Even four years later , you’re all I think about and I know I fucked that up babe, all I care about now is that you’re happy and safe but as far as that Caleb fucker is concerned if he comes near you or her…I’ll kill him.” he says menacingly and this makes me shiver.

  I gasp, “Jace, don’t say shit like that! You said you would be cool when I decided it was time to introduce her to her father.” I whisper yell at him.

  “I mean it Harley… or do you want him around? I only said that when I thought you both would be mine but if he comes into the picture I know I’m fucked.” he says raising an eyebrow taunting me.

  “Jace if he didn’t know about Willow and Ashley did lie then I want him to have a relationship with her. He is her father and I don’t ever want to hear you talk about killing someone else again. I don’t care who it is. Okay?” I say backing away from him on the counter.

  He places his hands under the bend of my knee and pulls me against him with such force that I gasp then he places his one hand on my lower back and the other behind my neck as he brings my face a few inches from his.

  “Remember what I told you, I don’t like to be told what to do. I’m not going to let him take you two away from me. You are mine…you should know that by now.” I feel his breath on my lips.

  The look he’s given me is enough to make me shiver, not from want but fear. Jace has kept Raven hidden from me since that night four years ago and I guess tonight he’s making an appearance.

  “Jace…you…you need to stop saying that. I’m not yours. Please stop this. Let me go before you wake Willow up.” I move to get distance away from him but he looks at the hallway and when he notices that Willow is in fact still in bed he turns his attention back to me.

  “But you are mine Harley, you and that little girl. Do you honestly think after all the time and effort I put into you, I’m going to allow you to let that piece of shit back into your lives? In place of where I should have been?” he threatens. His hand on the back of my neck starts pushing my face toward his until our lips meet.

  I push at his chest to get him off me but he continues to stick his tongue in my mouth. I feel like I’m suffocating and I need him to get away from me. When his hand reaches and harshly grabs my breast, I bite his lip and the next moment I’m thrown off the counter landing on the floor, smashing the clean dishes off the drying rack. I touch my lip and it stings, I look down to see blood on my index and middle finger. Looking up to Jace I realize what just happened….he backhanded me.

  I see the shock in Jace’s face as he looks back and forth between me and his hand that struck me. I’m frozen with disbelief, never thought he would be the hitting type, of course he looks like the hitting type but I never thought he’d actually do it. I look down at the floor and notice a couple cuts on my legs, many of which have shards of glass still stuck in.

  He tries to move toward me but I back away. His mouth opens and closes but no words come out, I guess I’m the same. He runs his hands through his hair and then in one quick motion he’s gone and all I hear is the slamming door as he leaves.

  “Mommy!” I hear Willow scream and I watch as she comes running to where I’m sitting surrounded by glass.

  “Willow wait! Stay right there baby. There’s glass on the floor, I don’t want you cutting your feet up okay?” I gently try to get up off the floor but I have glass in my feet as well as in some cuts on my legs. Willow stands immobile by the hallway doorway, tears flowing down her face.

  “I need you to do mommy a favor okay sweetie?” I ask her calmly and she nods through sobs.

  “Mommy’s phone is next to her bed, can you go and fetch it for me quickly?” she immediately turns and runs down the hall and a few seconds later she’s clutching the phone to her chest waiting for my next instruction.

  “Throw it here baby.” I say and she tosses it my direction. I eventually get up off the floor and pick up Willow, I ignore the discomfort in my feet as I walk over the glass and place her in the lounge chair telling her not to come in the kitchen. Her sobs are softer now.

  I look at my phone and ignore all the missed calls from Brent. I keep my phone close just in case Jace returns. I kneel down on the floor to pick up all the tiny pieces of glass that are shattered. I ignore the sting of the cuts in my legs and feet and try pick up as much of the glass as possible. I hear hard knocking on the door and I internally curse myself for not locking it after Jace left. I hear Willows cries raise, obviously she’s afraid. I don’t know if she saw the whole Jace ordeal and I pray she didn’t.

  I hear the door being opened and I attempt to stand up quickly but as I lift my head over the counter the last person I expect to see cradling my weeping Willow to his chest is Caleb.

  “What’s wrong baby girl? Where’s your Momma?” he says holding her tiny body to his chest.

  “Mommy fell, she’s bleeding, hurry.” I hear her muffled sniveling.

  “It’s okay sweetie, I’m fine…just some scratches.” I say to her as I try once again to lean up on the counter and stop standing on the glass in my one foot.

  Caleb looks in my direction in shock then quickly places Willow on the lounge chair and rushes to my side, catching me before I fall. “Jesus Harlz, what happened here?” he says looking around at the glass on the floor.

  “I just tripped and fell that’s all. What are you doing here? How’d you find me?” I ask him trying to avoid looking at his face, as I limp my way to Willow.

  “I’ve been calling you all day and you didn’t answer. I had to talk to you about today, I couldn’t just leave things like that Harley. I forced Brent to tell me where you stay and now I’m here.” He bends down and scoops up the bigger pieces of glass and looks around for a bin. I point in the direction of the bin.

  I hold my daughter close to my chest as I pick her up. Even though the various cuts hurt like hell all I’m worried about right now is making sure my daughter is okay.

  She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me tight as her cries die down. “Come sweetie let’s get you back to bed.” I limp my way towards her room but Caleb steps in front of me with open arms, his eyes still avoid mine.

  “Let me help you with her Harley, your foot is bleeding.” He says looking down at my foot.

  I pass him and keep Willow in my arms, not because I don’t want him to hold her but I need to hold her more right now. My whole body is in shock, firstly with the whole Jace hitting me ordeal and now the fact that Caleb has found me and knows where I live. My heart is beating so fast right now and I’m battling to catch my breath.

  I place Willow into her bed and sit on the side of it wiping her long hair out of her face.

  “Mommy… where’s Jacey? Why was he yelling momma?” she asks me innocently and my heart beats faster.

  “Did you see Jace leave baby?” I ask her trying to find out how much she saw.

  “No mommy I heard him shouting and then the loud bangs and glass then I heard the door slam. I stayed in my room until I found you mommy…I was scared.” She says with a shaking chin as if she’s about to burst out in tears aga
in.

  “Don’t worry, everything’s fine, mommy just dropped a couple dishes. Go to sleep my baby…everything’s going to be alright.” I whisper softly stroking the bridge of her nose, I sit and watch as her eyelids flutter closed. I move my hand away from her face and stand up to tuck her in. I leave her little bed side lamp on and shuffle out the room only closing her door slightly. I don’t see Caleb anywhere in the hallway as I gently shut the door after looking at my baby girl sleeping so peacefully, I wipe away a few stray tears that I didn’t know even shed then bump into Caleb.

  His hands go around my waist to steady me and a shudder goes through my body at the feeling, I remember the many times his hands held me tight and kept me safe. Caleb would never hit me - ever.

  I move away from him and head back into the kitchen to see all the glass is gone.

  “Harley, please answer me, what happened here?” Caleb interrupts my thoughts.

  “I…uh…just fell. I slipped and fell. That’s all. I know you want to talk and everything but I don’t have the energy right now. Can we rather do this another time?” I say softly out of breath as I find my way to my bedroom en-suit to fetch the first aid kit. I can’t bear to look at his eyes. I’m humiliated and ashamed of how things went down.

  I don’t want Caleb in my home, Caleb comes from a very wealthy family and my tiny apartment is probably the size of his room. I feel uncomfortable with him being here, it may feel like home to me but I know the furniture looks cheap since it was and when I caught him looking around my apartment I saw the pity in his eyes.

  I’m aware of Caleb following me but I don’t have the energy to stop him. My legs are wobbly as I bend down to the bottom shelf of the bathroom towel cabinet and get the first aid kit.

  Caleb stops me and picks it up. “Here, let me help you.” He says picking it up and heads out the bathroom, he motions for me to sit on my bed and I do. He bends down in front of me then starts looking through the first aid kit. He takes my foot gently in his big warms hands then gently removes the glass and cleans the blood. He takes the little shards of glass out my legs and we both sit there quietly as he focuses on not hurting me. It’s been so long since the last time I had his hands on me but it still feels so familiar, as if I never forgot what it felt like when he touched me.