Always On My Mind: A Bad Boy Rancher Love Story (The Dawson Brothers Book 1)

by Ali Parker

  “Did you want more?”

  “Then?”

  “Sure.” He kept his gaze focused on the road in front of them.

  “I don’t know. I think I felt like we were supposed to be together, but he obviously didn’t feel the same.”

  “What happened?”

  “Graduation happened. He packed up, stopped by to say ‘later’ and drove out of my life, after over ten years of being best friends.” She shrugged, heaviness draining her emotions. He reached over and touched her hand, squeezing it lightly.

  “How do you feel about him now?”

  Rebecca turned to look at her best associate, honestly not sure of how she felt about anything. “I guess the same way I feel about you.”

  He laughed and looked both ways before pulling out onto the small country road. “And that would be?”

  “Confused. Unsure. Scared.”

  “Rebecca Miller, scared? The world must be falling.”

  She smiled and squeezed his hand, moving hers and crossing her arms across her chest. “I don’t know. I need to figure things out, though.”

  “Is he available?”

  She shrugged. “I guess so.”

  “Are you?” he asked with a cute hopeful look on his face.

  “I have no idea.” She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, the drama of the last few days draining her.

  All she’d wished for over the last few years was a chance with someone as kind and handsome as Jason, though a bit older would have been her preference. That dream had always been put on pause because of the reoccurring one that Kade would come back into her life and make all things right. That they would pick up from where they’d left off, but the ending wouldn’t be the same. It would be a fairytale ending where he loved her and she loved him.

  And now she had both scenarios staring her in the face, and the idea of moving one way or the other was constricting enough to make it hard to imagine either. Something had to give because stringing both guys along wasn’t really ethical behavior, and if she was anything, she was a complete good girl at heart.

  Chapter 12

  Rebecca leaned over the bathroom counter, her hair pulled up into a loose bun of sorts with strands framing her face. She touched her lip gloss to her lips and jumped as the buzz of her phone scared her. She reached for it and cursed. Trisha was earlier than she should be and was texting to say that she didn’t want to come up.

  Rebecca texted that she’d be down in a few minutes and stepped back from the mirror, holding onto the sink to step into her red high heels. She looked all of twenty-two herself with her make-up in ‘going out’ mode. She wore a tight black dress that hit mid-thigh, her jewelry and shoes the only true color in her outfit.

  A quick turn to make sure her butt didn’t look too flat, and she was good to go. No Jason or Kade to think about tonight, just her and her bestie going out for a few drinks and a night of dancing. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d gone out like this. She always turned Trisha down, complaining that she was tired, or busy, or working. She turned off the light and grabbed a small clutch that she’d set down in the kitchen before slipping her phone into it and moving toward the elevator.

  They were trying a new club on the north side of town, the hope being that Rebecca would be far enough away from downtown to avoid seeing anyone she might recognize. She might be out for a night of freedom and fun, but one thing was for sure, she was well known in the business community and didn’t want to change anyone’s view of her in the name of a good time. She walked out of the elevator, shivering and cursing herself for once again forgetting a jacket.

  “You wouldn’t think you'd need one. It’s freaking Texas in March,” she grumbled and half ran to Trisha’s small Honda.

  Warm air and punk rock style music greeted her as she opened the door and slipped in while Trisha whistled and laughed at her.

  “You look fantastic. Hot, hot, hot.” Trisha leaned over to hug her and Rebecca returned the laugh, shrugging and turning the heater to blast straight at her.

  “You look great yourself.” She leaned back and strapped herself in, ready for a wild night and hoping that she might not remember enough afterward to tell about it. Trisha was driving for a reason, and Rebecca was more than happy to be free to drown herself in anything but anxiety for an evening.

  “So this place is new, but I hear it’s the cat’s meow.” Trisha wagged her eyebrows, her tight blue dress bringing out the blond of her hair.

  “Oh yeah? How old is the crowd? I don’t exactly want to join a grind line of teenagers, and I’m not looking to help anyone find their teeth at the end of the night either.”

  “Ewww … that’s just gross, Becca.” Trisha pretended to gag, looking over her shoulder quickly and then pulling out into the hustle and bustle that was mid-town on a late Saturday night. “I don’t know how you live here. It’s so busy all the time.”

  “Hence me moving out to the country. I met with the new contractor today and it shouldn’t be more than two weeks.” She smiled and squealed softly. Of course, she didn’t mention who the contractor was.

  Trisha laughed and settled back into her seat, a smile staying on her face. “I have a surprise for you.”

  Rebecca turned a little to face her friend. “Oh yeah? What is it?”

  “You’ll see.” Trisha’s smile spread and Rebecca wondered what on earth Trisha had for her. It was best not to press her friend, as she was the best secret keeper known to man. There was no way Trisha was spilling the beans until she wanted to.

  “Cool,” Rebecca responded, a smile touching her own lips. “I can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve.”

  Rebecca considered telling Trisha about Kade being back in town, but that would lead to a ton of questions and more than anything she simply wanted to enjoy the night with her friend. She’d bring up Kade on the drunk ride home or the next morning when they woke up slung across Trisha’s couch or something. There would be plenty of time for working through what to do about her jacked up love life.

  Sixteen years with no real prospects and now I have two guys worthy of my time staring me down. Ridiculous.

  “How’s work?” Trisha asked as they pulled onto Hwy 45, the road almost as busy as it was during five o’clock traffic.

  A car swerved into their lane and Trisha hit her horn, swerving a little herself. Rebecca grabbed the dash in front of her and yelped, trying to relax after Trisha apologized for the crazy drivers in Houston.

  “Work. Yeah, work’s going really well. Had dinner with Parker last night and tried to work through some growing pains for the company.”

  “Parker, huh? He still with his wife?” she asked, wagging her eyebrows.

  Rebecca chuckled. “Yes, he’s still with his wife, though things aren’t as great as they could be.”

  “I understand that totally.”

  “Oh yeah? Something up with you and Ken?” Rebecca asked, interested to see if her friend’s expression was more of a conversation mover or if something was going on in the confines of her marriage.

  “We’re good. It’s just so damn boring sleeping next to the same boring dude every night. I mean I love him and all, but it’s just … boring.” She shrugged and reached to turn the heat down.

  “Thanks for the hope about my happily ever after.” Rebecca laughed and turned up the radio, her voice lifting with Trisha’s as they enjoyed an American Idol moment in the car.

  They were in stitches laughing by the time they pulled up to Nite Moves, the parking lot completely filled with large Texas sized trucks. They pulled onto the grass and parked the car, Rebecca pulling down the mirror in front of her to check herself before they got out and weathered the cold.

  “Wow, this place is insanely busy,” she mumbled between clenched teeth as they walked quickly through the biting cold.

  “No joke. It’s a great sign for our evening, though.” Trisha smiled and reached out to slip her arm into Rebecca’s. They reached the d
oor and the large man in front of them held it open, his tight shirt barely fitting him.

  “Evening ladies.” He smiled and tipped his cowboy hat, Rebecca waving as Trisha did her thing in an effort to get them a free trip into the nightclub. The bouncer blushed and motioned for the guy at the cash register to let them in, a few other girls behind them grumbling at the unfairness of it all. Rebecca simply thanked the guy that worked to collect a fee from everyone and moved into the overwhelmingly loud room. The dark lights lit the place up in a way that left her almost dizzy. If she’d not felt her age a few minutes ago, she certainly did now.

  “I might look twenty-three, but I’m feeling every bit of my thirty-four years with these strobe lights,” she yelled into her best friend’s ear as she shielded her eyes and leaned against Trisha.

  “I know, right? You go find us a table and I’ll grab a few beers and meet you over there,” Trisha said as she left.

  It took Rebecca a few minutes to get acclimated to the layout of the club. It had been so long since she’d let her hair down and had this kind of fun that she honestly felt like a duck out of water. Bringing Jason with her might have been a good idea, seeing that everyone around her seemed to be around his age—or pulled old age off really, really well.

  She laughed at the fact that she fit into the latter category and moved into the club, the bodies pressed side by side as people stood around drinking and talking to one another. If the place was this packed with people talking in the aisles then there would be no place to sit, for sure. She pushed through a group of younger guys; the catcalls were almost cute because of the unsure sounds of their voices. She turned and looked over at them, winking at the cutest one and walking away like she owned the place.

  I’m so going to hell for this night.

  Funny enough, heaven shined down on her as a group of girls grabbed their drinks and cleared off of two tables. She moved in fast and sat down at one of the tables, a tall gangly looking fellow taking the other table. He smiled at her and lifted his beer.

  “Not drinking tonight, beautiful?”

  She pointed to the bar. “We just got here. My friend’s grabbing us a few drinks.”

  He smiled. “I’d ask you to dance, but we’d lose our tables.”

  She laughed and nodded. “I’d turn you down in a New York heartbeat. I don’t want to lose this prime real estate.”

  He winked at her and turned his attention to the dance floor before them, an old Michael Jackson song gaining everyone’s attention. The drunkenness of the people dancing in front of her gave her a serious laugh, which only caused them to act more ridiculous. She turned to see Trisha working her way through the crowd, a smile on her friend’s face. They both needed a break, so the night would prove interesting, but important to their sanity as well.

  “Good grief, it’s busy tonight. You’d think hell opened its gates for the evening.” Trisha laughed and handed her a beer, the lime already bobbing up and down in the light colored liquid.

  “I know, right? You definitely know how to pick ’em.” She took a quick swig of the beer, the smooth flavor running across her tongue and pulling a sound of appreciation from her. She breathed in deeply, so grateful for the smoking bans in Texas. Back in her twenties, the bars and clubs allowed smoking, and if you were a non-smoker there was only so much you could handle before it was time to pack it up and go home.

  “See anyone worth dancing with tonight?” Trisha sat down and looked around the bar, the dark atmosphere making it almost impossible to really see anyone’s face until they were right in front of you.

  “No, but I’m not looking either. I just wanted to get away and have a few beers with you tonight. Not really interested in finding someone to go home with.”

  “No?” Trisha almost looked surprised. Rebecca laughed and shook her head.

  “No. I’m not the wild child in this relationship. You are.”

  “This is very true.” Trisha looked down at her ring as if she were contemplating sin.

  “Leave it on and behave. You have to wake up in the morning and live with yourself.”

  “True, but what if no one asks me to dance because of it?”

  “Would you like to dance?” a deep voice sounded behind them.

  They turned to see a rather buff looking Hispanic guy looking at Trisha, a smile on his face as he extended his hand.

  “Ummmm …” she mumbled as shock slipped across her features.

  Rebecca took her friend’s beer and laughed. “Of course she does.” She looked at Trisha and nodded. “Go have fun.”

  “Yeah, I will.” Trisha slid off the seat and walked to the dance floor, the taller man leaning over to talk to her. With the noise in the club, it was a wonder she could hear anything he was saying.

  Trisha jogged back up to her from the dance floor, Rebecca raising her brow in confusion. “Forget something?”

  “Yeah,” Trisha said a bit breathless. “Your surprise.”

  Rebecca waved her off. “I’ll get it from you later. Go dance.”

  “No, it’s coming here. I just wanted to be here to yell surprise when it shows up.”

  “What is it?” Rebecca asked, suddenly confused by Trisha’s description. It was coming to join them at the club, but it wasn’t a person?

  “You’ll see. When it gets here, just imagine me yelling surprise! You’re going to drop dead.” Trisha laughed and waved, running back toward the dance floor.

  “Great. A surprise that’s going to cause me to keel over. Just what I need in my pathetically boring life.”

  And it had been boring until yesterday. Once Jason decided that enough subtle flirting had occurred and set himself to the task of getting her to notice him as more than an associate of the firm, things had shifted into high gear. She had trouble not thinking about him or Kade.

  But tonight wasn’t about them, it was about her. She found Trisha on the dance floor and couldn’t help but laugh as her dance partner slung her around the floor, his moves far exceeding hers. She didn’t think her friend had expected the package deal she received by agreeing to join him for a dance, but either way, she was going to be cursing Rebecca when she could barely move the next day.

  “We might not look our age, but we’ll most certainly feel it,” she said out loud to herself, laughing.

  “You’ve never looked your age, Becca.”

  His voice was all too familiar and deep, sending a shiver down her spine and running the length of her body.

  She looked over her shoulder and smiled, concern tugging at her as to how he would know where to find her. “Kade McMillian. You’ve not seen me since I was a girl. How would you know that I carried my age well?”

  He moved to sit in Trisha’s chair, his button down shirt rolled up at the sleeves and his jeans fitting him perfectly, not that she really noticed. He sat his Budweiser down on the table beside her beer and looked over at her, a smile rushing across his lips.

  “I’ve seen you on Facebook and such. You thought I just turned away and left without ever looking back?”

  She felt the heaviness of his words; the truth found in them was deeper than perhaps even he realized. He had left without more than a goodbye and never looked back. Stalking someone on Facebook wasn’t the same as being in their life. She swallowed her snappy comeback and nodded toward the dance floor.

  “You still afraid to dance in front of people?”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Scared as hell. Why? You wanna dance with me?”

  Her turn to laugh. She took a swig of her beer, wishing it were tequila shots so her conscious thoughts would die down. “No, I’m good, but thank you.”

  He stood, pushing his chair back in and looking to the fellow that sat at the table beside her. “Watch our table so no one takes it, my man?” He handed the guy a twenty dollar bill and nodded as the guy took it and agreed quickly.

  She looked over her shoulder and mouthed ‘sell out’ as the guy laughed at her.

  “Come on
. Let me show you how much I’ve grown up.”

  She took another drink of her beer, exhaled her pent up frustrations and moved past him, his hand left extended to no one. “This better be good.”

  Trisha moved past her, her eyes lighting up as she realized Kade was there. “Surprise!” her friend yelled with glee in her eyes.

  Rebecca just shook her head and murmured, “Thank you” before turning and popping her hip with attitude, the tall handsome man before her a picture of everything she’d wanted in life, at one time. He laughed as he reached her, his hands pulling her hips closer to him before he moved one hand to slip into hers as a slow song started.

  Classic.

  Chapter 13

  This was everything Rebecca had been waiting for, and yet it all just felt awkward to her somehow now. Kade’s hand in hers made her strangely nervous, and she kept wondering what to expect from him next. Why was he suddenly interested after all these years? As far as Kade knew, Rebecca had a boyfriend—and a serious one at that. Still, that didn’t seem to deter him from pulling her even closer as they danced. The idea that he would blatantly hit on someone else’s girlfriend—just assume that she’d forget all about anyone else at the sight of him sixteen years later—was slightly repugnant to her.

  What was wrong with her? This was Kade.

  “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

  “No, but thank you.” She tried to relax and leaned into him as they danced around the floor, his smooth movements proving he had dancing ability and causing her to have to concentrate on being better than she was. It had been forever since she’d graced a dance floor, and where she was more than capable of holding her own, she was tired and had hoped for a night of not feeling the need to impress anyone.