Not That Kind of Love

by K. S. Martin

  “You’re too skinny. I want you to eat this and then I want you to open the blinds and let some light in here.” He stepped out of the room and came back with a bottle of water. “Come on, eat, you’ll feel better. I promise.” I opened the box. He’d brought me a blueberry muffin from the bakery down the street. I loved their muffins. I picked it up and nibbled.

  “Thanks Jamie.” It was big but I finished it. His face softened as his hand cupped the back of my head. He leaned over and kissed me gently.

  “I have to get back to work. I love you.” After kissing my forehead he closed the door quietly behind him. I did feel better and the rest of the day passed more quickly than the morning had.

  “Guess who called me today?” I was slumped in my seat staring out of the window. “Tommy Bloom! He wants me to play forward for him. His guy got hurt and will be out for a couple of games.” I yawned. I couldn’t help it, I didn’t care what he was saying, and I just wanted sleep. No more dirty martinis for me ever again. Those things kicked my ass. “What do you think?”

  “Yeah sounds good.” I pushed my sunglasses up higher on my nose and leaned my aching head on the window.

  “Will you come and cheer for me?” I nodded.

  “As long as it isn’t today, yeah I’ll come and cheer for you.” He glanced over at me.

  “Do you still feel bad?” I nodded.

  “This is the worst I’ve ever felt. I need a bed.” He sped up. He turned the overhead kitchen light on and looked into my face like he was examining an undiscovered creature. Jamie helped me undress and brought me two bottles of water telling me to drink both of them while he made me some soup. He came back with a tray an hour later. There was homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers and another bottle of water. “Damn Jamie, I’m going to float.”

  “You’re dehydrated. You’ll feel better when you get some fluids in you. No caffeine till you pee clear, do you hear me?” I nodded. “Damn Mich you have to be careful, I don’t want you to get sick.”

  “Why not? You’re an awesome nurse.” I smiled weakly at him. I’d finished most of the soup and set the tray aside. I sank down into the pillows and closed my eyes. I heard Jamie on the phone at some point and I heard his phone beeping and clicking. He was texting someone, it was probably his sister the nurse. I didn’t know what time it was and I needed to pee now, he was so concerned earlier, I wondered what color it would be too. What color is dehydrated pee anyway? He was pacing the living room and looked up when I came out of the bedroom. I saw that the microwave said ten o’clock. I felt like I’d slept all night. I went into the bathroom and relieved myself. Light yellow and that was close enough for me to have coffee in the morning. He came into the bathroom when I was getting up.

  “Don’t mind me, just doing a follow up on my patient.” He leaned over me to look into the toilet.

  “Gross.” I pushed the handle.

  “I see my work is done here. Now there is a matter of my fee.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight. He rested his forehead on mine and kissed my nose. “Would you like to pay now or later?” I rolled my eyes. “Hmm, not going to pay?”

  “Depends, what’s the charge?” I leaned up to kiss his neck. “Is that enough?” I squeezed his ass. “How about that?” He groaned.

  “Will you drink another bottle of water for me and let me hold you while we sleep?” He brought my hands around to hold them against his chest. I nodded and pushed past him to get water from the kitchen. I drank it straight down, crushed the bottle and put it in the recycle bin. Jamie followed me to the bedroom and climbed into bed behind me. He kissed my neck and shoulder as his hands worked their way under my tank top. His fingers were warm on my skin. “I want you Mich, are you up to it?” I nodded and pulled my shirt off. He was pulling my underwear down. He spooned me like he had a million times before. His hand came around and kneaded my breast. His fingers rolled my nipples until they were hard beads. I was getting really wet. This was one of my fantasies. Jamie curled behind me after one of those awful dreams and then this happened. He sprinkled kisses over my back now. A finger dipped into me and touched my clit. I gasped. He nipped the back of my arm. “You’re so beautiful.” He pulled me back tightly against him. His erection was between my legs but not inside of me. He slid it back and forth in my wet folds. I trembled. He moved my hair out of the way and kissed the back of my neck. “I want to make you mine Mich.” His finger tapped my clit and the pleasure started swirling around in my core.

  “I am yours.” I reached back for him but he caught my hand and put it back in front of me. Jamie’s fingers dipped inside of me then pressed against my anus. I flinched but he did it again. He pressed one finger inside then two. I tried to roll away but he wouldn’t let me. One finger tapped my clitoris other fingers pressed my anus.

  “Shhh baby.” He whispered against my ear. “It’ll be okay.” Three fingers pressed just inside of me. I tried pulling away again but he held me still. Tap, tap, tap. “Shhh.” It slid into my ear and made my nerves sing. The pleasure swirled around and around. Tap, tap, tap. “I love you Michelle.” His lips tugged at my ear. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.” His erection slid between my legs and up behind me now. It was wet with my juices. Tap, tap, tap, “Shhh.” I trembled over all over. My skin tingled, my nerves thrummed. The engorged head dipped inside, my muscles clenched. I was scared of it. It was too big. He pulled it out and let it slide between my legs, I tried to grab for it again, but he caught my hand again. “No, baby.” Tap, tap, tap. “Shhh.” He slid inside my anus again, it was easier this time. Pleasure swirled faster. I shivered and arched back against him. Jamie pushed it deeper, inch by inch, slowly. He eased it forward and back. Tap, tap. I pushed back against him, opening myself up for him. “Oh God, Mich.” He groaned, his voice was gravely and raspy. He quickened his pace inside of me and on my clit. Pleasure swirled then exploded. I saw white stars explode behind my closed eyes. I felt his hot seed empty into me. We lay panting. He pulled out very slowly, my muscles still tightly wrapped around him, still grabbing for him. He pulled me over to face him, kissed my forehead and cheeks then finally my mouth. “You’re amazing.”

  “I didn’t do… anything.” He smiled against my cheek.

  “You let me do… anything.” He kissed me again and we slept

  “I have an appointment at the bridal shop after work. Do you want me drive myself today? We can meet up later for dinner if you want.” I was putting my shoes on and checking my reflection at the same time.

  “I’ll drop you at the shop after work, Franny can bring you home, and she has to pass by here anyway.” I nodded and reached for my coffee. He handed it to me and we hurried to the elevator. Jamie nibbled my ear once the doors closed. “If the ride wasn’t so short…”

  “Would you stop?” I pushed at him giggling. “You’re like fifteen again and all hormones. Jeez.” His hand found my breast and gave a squeeze.

  “We can put the truck into that dark corner and climb into the back. What do you think Mich?” I rolled my eyes and walked to his car. The keyless remote noise bounced off the walls. I had a strange feeling but got in anyway. He started the car and turned the radio on. I reached and turned it off. Looking quizzically at me and he turned it back on, when I shook my head, he turned it off. “What is it?” He asked seriously. I let a breath out but still had that feeling, sick and nauseated like the tilt o whirl, like when Jenny went down. I shook my head again and opened the car door. I climbed out and shut the door. I walked to truck but still felt weird. “Alright, that’s what I’m talking about!” Jamie jogged over to the truck. I shook my head again.

  “It’s not … something is not right.” I whispered.

  “What?” He was getting aggravated now. I shook my head again. “Mich, if we aren’t moving this thing to a corner then we have to go. We’ll be late.”

  “Ride in the back.” His mouth fell open. “I mean it Jamie. Ride in the back, in the middle and buckle up.” His head shook slowly.
“Do it.” I was adamant. He could see the look in my eyes. It was rare that I took that tone with him but he knew that he had better do as he was told because it was important to me. Mumbling and complaining he did as he was told.

  “I feel like a five year old.” The buckled clicked locked.

  “And you sound like one. Something is not right Jamie, I don’t know what but I know that something is not right. Maybe we should call in sick today.” He was already shaking his head before I finished the sentence.

  “I have a department meeting and it’s mandatory. I have to go.” I nodded and pulled out of the garage. Traffic was stopped because there was an accident or construction up ahead. I could see the arrow board. It was hot today and the sun glimmered off the cars in front of me. The light over me was turning yellow and traffic didn’t move. I was stuck in that spot and blocking the box, I hated to do that it caused traffic nightmares and road rage. I tapped the steering wheel with my open hand. My knuckles banged quickly. I just wanted to get us there. I still had the sick feeling. Jamie was playing with his phone, probably texting his assistant that he would arrive soon. We were about five blocks from work when I heard the tires squealing I looked to my left and saw the dump truck barreling toward us. He tried to stop but couldn’t. I had nowhere to go. There were cars on both bumpers and people on the sidewalk. I screamed just as I heard glass shattering, metal tangling, the sharp little shards flew at me. They pricked my face and stuck in my hair. I watched Jamie bounce like a doll back and forth in the rearview. I saw the spray of blood from his mouth. I screamed ‘no’ the air bags exploded around me, I was still screaming but now it was his name and everything was happening at once. Then everything went black. I remember hearing sirens and police radios. I remember men’s voices, metal tearing, and more glass breaking. I heard someone say my name.

  “Jamie? Are you okay?” I couldn’t open my eyes, they weren’t working. I only got flashes of faces and lights.

  “It’s Matt, Michelle. We’re taking you to the hospital. Are you allergic to any meds?” I saw white light and shook my head.

  “Dirty Martinis.” I said. I heard him chuckle. I felt something burn my arm, it was an IV. I was on a gurney and being carted to somewhere else. “Where’s Jamie? Help Jamie.” I tried to speak clearly but it was hard.

  “They’re still cutting him out of the truck Michelle. They’ll bring him as soon as they can. Rest now and let me take care of you.” I heard a siren again, louder this time. I felt his hand in my pockets then heard him on my phone. “Good Morning, my name is Matt McCauley. Do you know the person who owns this phone?” He paused or I passed out.

  Chapter 8

  When my eyes finally worked again, the lights were too bright. I heard beeping and myself breathing. I was in a hospital. I’ve been in an accident. I remember a dump truck and Matt from the bar. Everything is stiff, heavy and hard to move. A nurse is hovering now. She checks the machines and sees me watching her. She smiles at me. She’s young and has skin the color of espresso, she’s so beautiful. Her eyes are big and the color of cappuccino. I must need coffee because everything reminds me of it. She pats my hand and leaves. My chest hurts and it’s a little hard to breathe. White lights again. A man now, he’s older and balding. He has really dark circles under his almost black eyes. He’s from the Middle East but his English is perfect, not a hint of an accent. His breath smells like stale coffee and cigarettes. I’d kill for a coffee right now. I try to say something but there’s something in my throat.

  “Don’t talk. You have an intubation tube in your throat. I will remove it now that you are awake. Don’t try to talk until it is out.” He turns to the pretty nurse who circles the bed to help him. They dislodge and remove the tube. “Michelle O’Brien I presume.” I nod and cough, my throat hurts. “Good.” He’s listening to my chest, I cough again and it hurts. He moves to my heart and my neck and then my feet. He asks me to wiggle my fingers and toes. He moves the stethoscope from place to place muttering ‘good’ as he goes. “You were in a car accident, do you remember?” I nodded. “Get her some water.” He says to the nurse.

  “Where’s Jamie?” I tried to sit up. My voice is so raspy. He put a hand on my shoulder and kept me down. He gave the nurse a look and I was suddenly terrified. It must have shown in my eyes.

  “Oh no, no Michelle. He’s here, he’s right here.” She said and patted my hand. She turned and pulled a curtain back. Jamie was asleep in the bed next to me. His head was bandaged and he also had an intubation tube. Several bags with various colored liquids hung around him. Oh God let him be okay, I silently pleaded. There were purple, green and yellow bruises on his face and scabs on his beautiful mouth. “Your families insisted that you two be in the same room. Apparently, you have been inseparable since you were five?” I nodded. “He is in a coma just as you were until today.”

  “How long?” I asked her.

  “So far it’s been seventeen days. We hoped that one of you would wake up so you can wake the other. Can you try to wake him Michelle?” I nodded.

  “What’s wrong with him?” I still watched him as I struggled to get up.

  “He had severe bruising, blunt force trauma, and lacerations. His arm is broken and his shoulder was dislocated, and whip lash. He had some contusions and broken ribs and femor.” I nodded. “He shouldn’t have survived. If he’d been in the passenger seat in the front, he wouldn’t have. A dump truck driver lost control when the brakes failed. He hit the driver’s side rear and pushed you into a telephone pole. The pole crushed the passenger side front door, if Jamie were sitting there, he would’ve been crushed. It nearly folded your SUV in half. She picked up a picture from the side table and handed it to me. Tears welled in my eyes at the site of the crumpled unrecognizable mess. Thank God he was in the back. Does always ride there?” The nurse asked and I shook my head.

  “No. In fact we were supposed to be in his Mustang that morning, but I had a bad feeling and insisted we take my truck and that he sit in the back.”

  “A miracle then?” Her eyes widened and brightened. “God watched over you both and sent you the message.” The nurse smiled. I read her name tag it said Sunita. “If he was driving he would be crushed due to his size. The pole cut through the SUV, but because you are so small, you fit in the tiny amount of room that was left in the front. Thank God you didn’t have a big breakfast.” She laughed softly and melodically. Sunita helped me into a wheel chair and pushed me over to Jamie’s bedside. I picked up his hand and kissed the back of it then held it to my face, his skin was cool. I felt his fingers twitch and squeeze mine so lightly it was almost imperceptible. I let the corners of my lips lift. She patted my shoulder and closed the door behind her when she left.

  “Jamie? I need you here. Come back to me.” I said against his hand. With his head bandaged, his arm and leg in a cast and bruises everywhere, Jamie was still beautiful. I rested my head against his hip but held onto his hand. I was so tired. Sunita came back later and brought another nurse with her. This one was much older, her name was Louise and she would be taking care of me over night. Jamie had not moved yet. They helped me into my bed and tucked me in. Louise checked my vitals and brought me a dinner tray. I picked at it. I pushed it away and went to sleep. Hannah stopped by after work the following day and brought me flowers. She caught me up on all of the news at work and told me not to worry. The bosses had discussed it and she would shuttle work back and forth until I was ready to return full time. They said that it would be best if I took care of Jamie until we were both well enough to come back and that family was more important. That was a relief. I had mulled that over for a while before she’d said anything. Mine and Jamie’s parents took turns driving to the hospital to visit us. His sisters stopped by on no apparent schedule. I was released a week later but Jamie was still in a coma. I went home and slept in my own bed but I spent every day at the hospital. I carried my laptop back and forth and worked from an uncomfortable chair next to his bed. Hannah kept me in the
loop and delivered anything that I needed. Jamie stirred, but he had before without waking. I squeezed and kissed his hand. The bruises were all gone now, the cast had been removed, and the cuts were healed. If he would just wake up we would look normal. I clicked the TV on looking for a game, if I couldn’t wake him up maybe sports would. All I could find was baseball, not his favorite, but he watched on occasion so I left it on. I went to the cafeteria and got an apple. There wasn’t much in there that was edible. I took a bite standing at his bedside.

  “Damn it Jamie, wake up.” I hissed. His hand moved then, more than it ever had before. “Jamie, I want to go home. Wake up.” I told him angrily hoping for a response. I went to close the door and pulled the curtain for privacy. The other bed was empty and had been since I’d checked out. I shook his shoulder. “You have to wake up.” His fingers circled my wrist. “Open your eyes Jamie. Do it now!” He did. I let out a breath that I think I’d been holding since the accident.

  “Put a sock in it.” He told me. I laughed. His hand went to his head. “What the hell happened?”

  “We got creamed by a dump truck. They had to cut you out and you’ve been in a coma for thirty six days now.” I was holding his hand to my face, my tears slid down over his knuckle.

  “Where’s Jenny?” He asked. He looked at me funny when I didn’t answer.

  “Jenny died Jamie. She drowned when we were thirteen in Glazier’s pond. Don’t you remember? Why would you ask me that?” More tears slid over my face and I dropped his hand. He wiped it on the blanket that covered him.

  “I was just talking to her a minute ago.” He was really freaking me out. The nurse came in to check on him.

  “Now this is fantastic, it’s very good to see you awake. Let me get the doctor.” She hurried from the room. I still stared at him.

  “What did she say Jamie?” I asked.

  “She said that I better answer you or you would never shut up. We were skating on the pond. She’d just asked me to the eighth grade dance. I didn’t get the chance to answer because you were yelling for me. Why couldn’t you keep quiet for a few more minutes, she was going to kiss me.” He was terse and his eyes had gone a light and angry gray. There had only been a few times in our lives that I had received that look, none of them were good memories.